The Lion Soul by Amy Sumida
Chapter Thirty-One
We didn't stop our mad dash for a good fifteen minutes, then we slowed for the horses but continued a fast clip until we were far from Caralin. I didn't think anyone would follow us. They had wanted us out of the city, and they'd gotten their wish. There was no need for them to take things further. When it started to get dark, we finally stopped and made camp in the woods.
The horses were brushed down and fed, a stew bubbled over our campfire, and mugs of something strong and very necessary had been passed out. We sat around the fire waiting for our dinner to finish cooking, all of us back in our Sidhe bodies and most of us grateful to have made it out of Caralin without having to attack our fellow faeries. Kaelen was the exception. Oh, he was grateful for what I'd done and had thanked me numerous times for my quick thinking, but he was also very, very angry.
“I will never forgive him for this,” Kaelen said softly.
“Who?” I asked.
“My father.”
“What? You think your father is responsible?” I gaped at him.
“Who else, Rie?” Kaelen asked bleakly. “Only he, out of everyone who knew, would betray our secret.”
“Someone could have smelled it on me,” I argued.
“Who? When?” He shook his head. “And if they had, would they automatically think you were part Farungal and incite a mob to attack us?”
“Would your father really do this?”
“I don't believe it was him, my lord,” Rinmae said softly as he shared a heavy look with the other knights.
“Why is that?” Kaelen asked.
“Lord Betheal was in the crowd,” Rinmae said almost apologetically. “And Lord Rix. You said there was an altercation with them on our first night back.”
“Neither of them knew about Rie,” Kaelen said. “So how did they find out?”
“They're courtiers, my lord,” Kenha, one of the other knights, said. “The Queen could have confided in one of her consorts and if that man betrayed her secret, the whole court would know in a matter of days.”
Kaelen blinked, considered it, then shook his head. “The Queen is too smart for that. She doesn't bring her consorts to meetings because she doesn't want them to know about kingdom matters. Why would she then turn around and tell one of them?”
Rinmae grimaced. “But your father? I can't see it.”
“I see it clearly, Rin,” Kae said sadly. “Soril must have told him that we were visiting with them. My father would see it as his duty to find another way to protect his grandchild.”
“But this is extreme,” I argued. “It endangered your life, something that I refuse to believe your father would do. I don't think we should jump to conclusions.”
“I know it was him, Rie,” Kaelen said firmly. “And I'm so sorry. I've brought you nothing but pain, and we haven't even gone to war yet. Varalorre was supposed to be a sanctuary for us. A place where we could relax and find some happiness before we faced the monsters. Instead, it was just another type of war.”
“It wasn't a war,” I said sternly. “Most of our visit was wonderful. We had a few mishaps is all.”
“A few mishaps?” Kaelen growled. “My father rejected you and sent the fucking city after us!” He shot to his feet and roared furiously, then hung his head and let out a wounded sob. “My own father. My blood has betrayed me.”
“Kae.” I stood up and took his hand. “Come with me.”
I led him away from the fire and his worried knights, snatching up a fae lantern as I went. I only took him a short distance away, behind the carriage and a few feet beyond that. Just enough to give us some privacy. Then I set the lantern down and pulled Kaelen into a hug.
Kaelen crumpled over me, then fell to his knees. I wrapped my arms around his head, stroking his hair as he pressed his face into my belly and sobbed. I mourned with him, wishing that I could express myself as he did. Envying that release. I knew exactly what he was feeling—the heartbreaking loss of home and family—and it hurt me deeply that he had to feel it too. Why? Why must we both lose so much when all we were trying to do was help?
I suppose there was no answer for it, and regret was moot. I would never trade Kaelen to have my old life back. Not even to see my family again. I knew I had made the right choice and that my future was with him. I just hoped that he felt the same way. That this pain wouldn't shift to resentment and our romance to disgust. If I lost him now, it would crush me. I would truly have nothing left.
I didn't say anything, couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't sound trite. I wanted to tell Kaelen that I would be there always, that he would never have to face the world alone, but I couldn't promise that. Not now, not yet. We had been circling the edges of love, but neither of us had dived in yet. And without love, my vow would lack validity. So, I just held him and then, when he pulled me down to my knees, I kissed him.
I pressed my lips to the tracks of Kae's tears and brushed them away as I continued to stroke his hair. When the traces of his trauma were absorbed into my lips and his stare was steady again, I eased back and took his hand. But Kaelen needed more than that. He grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me into another kiss. As he kissed me tenderly, he undid my belt and set it aside. Adoringly, almost as if he were worshiping me, he slid his hands beneath my tunic and over my chest. Kae didn't clutch or demand, he wasn't lost to his lion, nor was wild passion what he needed. He wanted gentle. He needed comfort, and I needed it too.
I lifted my arms for Kaelen to remove my tunic, then helped him out of his. We undressed slowly, every piece of clothing revealing more skin that needed to be caressed before we moved on. A makeshift pallet was made of our garments, and I laid back on them, Kaelen following me down as if we were one. And then we were one, moving together in loving undulations, his body merging with mine in the most beautiful way. Kaelen nestled his face into the curve of my neck as we ground together, but he didn't bite me as I'd expected. He kissed me there, then pressed his face into my skin as if he could bury himself inside me forever.
“Rie, I—”
“Shh,” I cut him off before he could say something that he wasn't ready to say. The trauma of the day and the loss of his loved ones were making him cling to me, and the intimacy we were sharing enhanced that feeling of closeness. Anything he felt now would be suspect, and the last thing I wanted was for Kae to speak words of love and then regret them in the morning.
Kaelen shuddered, and I hoped it meant that he understood. His breath roughened, and he moved faster inside me. “Tell me, then,” he said in a low, urgent tone. “Tell me that you're mine. Give me that at least.”
“I'm yours, Kaelen,” I said gently. “I have been since the first night I dreamt of you.”
Kaelen shuddered, cried out, and came, not with a roar, but a soft sigh of my name.
