The Lion Soul by Amy Sumida
Chapter Five
When I woke up, I was glowing. I jerked upright, absently noting the ease of which I did so, and stared down at myself. As I watched, the glow faded, and I was able to see the changes in my body. I was thicker, my lean muscles magnified so that they bulged impressively. I slid my legs over the side of the bed and ran my hands over my thighs. It was fortunate that my clothing was loose, otherwise, I might have split my seams. As it was, I had to untie my wrap tunic and refasten it wider apart as well as loosen my belt and the waist ties of my pants. While I had my tunic open, I ran a hand over my chiseled chest in amazement.
Being a faerie gave you larger muscles? I had assumed that Kaelen trained as hard as I did to achieve such a beautiful physique, but it seemed that it was a gift of genetics. My tunic gaped more now, the V neckline showing a good amount of chest, but that was the least of my concerns. I had spotted my reflection in the dresser mirror, only it wasn't my reflection.
I got up and went forward slowly, my new muscles coming with increased strength that I sensed I'd have to use carefully at first. Fingers sliding over my face, I looked upon the work of the Fae Goddess. My eyes had been slanted upward at the outer edges before, similar to a faerie's, but now they were larger, closer to Kaelen's in shape. The dark brown of my irises, once nearly black, had transformed into an inky green with a sheen to them, reminiscent of cat eyes. I turned my head from side to side, watching in wonder as they caught the light from the fae lantern overhead.
And there was more. My cheekbones were higher and more prominent, my jaw sharper, and my hair gleamed like polished obsidian. I've always had thick, black hair, but its shine had increased significantly. I ran my hand over it, pulling the long tail forward over my shoulder. It flowed like silk and glinted blue. For a moment, the image of a Shirie flashed over my face; gold scales amid tawny fur, a thick lion's mane, and deadly horns curving back from my temples. It was gone in an instant, but its eyes stayed with me. Shiries have eyes of such a dark green that they're almost black.
“You're still you,” a low voice said from the entrance of the bedchamber.
I turned to look at Kaelen, and his eyes widened.
“Am I?” I asked.
“Your eyes are so beautiful,” Kaelen murmured, then shook himself. “And yes, you're still you. Except now, you're also fae.”
I flicked my hair back over my shoulder and grunted.
“I'm about to have breakfast with my officers, would you care to join us?” Kaelen asked.
I nodded, settled my swords at my side, and followed him out of the bedroom. Something was starting to churn inside me. Now that my dream was fulfilled, I could fully feel the loss of my home and people. I was in a foreign land, surrounded by foreign people, and now seemed to be one of them. But I wasn't one of them. Inside, I was still Rieyu Takahansi, just as Kaelen said. And Rieyu Takahansi didn't belong on Stalana.
I sat down beside Kaelen at his war table, and he fixed me a plate of food from the feast spread down the table's center. I stared at it without really seeing, lost to my thoughts. People started to arrive, bringing in rays of the rising sun with every opening of the entry flap. It was morning at last, and my kin would be on their way home. Without me.
I vaguely heard Kaelen explaining what had happened to him the night before—he said some beautiful things about my skill and valor—but I couldn't bring myself to do more than grunt in acknowledgment when he drew attention to me. The bird faeries were there, the Eagle Lord and his attendant, and there was some discussion over that warlord nearly dying. Apparently, he'd been hit by one of those glowing balls and such a hit should have meant death, but he'd been saved by magic.
I'd be expected to perform such magic soon, and the thought had me wincing inside. I was a warrior, not a magician. Fighting at Kaelen's side would be easy for me; I had no nervousness concerning that. But magic? It was inside me now; I could feel it simmering there, and I wasn't sure what to do with it. Kaelen had said that I would be taught, but, for the first time in my life, I was scared of learning something. I knew it was childish. My gods had sent me to this land and into the hands of other gods. They had thrust magic upon me, and now I needed to learn how to use it. But I didn't understand magic. I wasn't sure where it came from or how it worked and therefore, I couldn't rely on it. Steel was reliable. Muscles and training. Stamina. Not glowing lights and flicking fingers.
Kaelen laid his hand on my shoulder and it startled me so much that I shot to my feet. The conversation at the table halted, and I was suddenly the center of attention. That embarrassed me and made me feel out of place; two things I'd never felt before. So, I acted impulsively and walked out.
I wasn't sure where I was going, but the ocean drew me at last. I went to the beach and strode down to the water, my gaze set on the horizon. I could just make out the shadow of a ship there, and I knew it was the ship I had arrived on. The meager belongings that I'd left behind would be taken back to my clan and burned ceremoniously once Captain Numaha denounced me as a traitor. My immediate family would be shamed and forced to declare me dead. My whole clan would. If I ever dared to show my face on Nazaka again, I would be treated like a ghost, ignored as if I were invisible.
I had no home. No people.
Footsteps approached, and I steeled myself against seeing Kaelen's striking face, keeping my eyes on the horizon and one hand on a sword hilt. But it wasn't Kaelen who stepped up beside me.
“That's gotta be rough.” It was the Eagle Lord's attendant. I think his name was Aidan. He spoke with his gaze locked on the Nazakian ship, “When I was made valorian, I had to leave my home. I was taken to Varalorre, the other end of the continent, and I felt completely cut off from everything I knew and loved. Utterly alone. I was terrified and angry, forced to live among strangers. But I always had hope that I would return to Stalana and see my home again. I can't imagine what it would be like to live without that hope.”
I sighed deeply and turned to look at him. “The Gods have brought me here, and I have accepted my role, but I have also dishonored my people and can never go home.”
“Dishonored?” He seemed shocked. “How?”
“My employer ordered us to leave. We were not to fight the monsters. She didn't want to draw Farungal attention to Nazaka. The Farungal have left us alone so far, and I understood that it was important to keep it that way. But then I saw him, outnumbered and cut off from his army, and I couldn't let him die. Not him. I disobeyed her, and she cast me out for it.”
“Oh, fuck,” Aidan whispered. “I'm so sorry. That's horrible. But, can I just point out that if you're obeying your gods, your actions can't be dishonorable? Gods are more important than employers, aren't they?”
I blinked as I processed that. Gods were more important than mortals. This man was right; if the Gods had brought me there, I was not dishonored. My kin would still believe that I was, but that was, ironically, an honor in itself—to bear scorn on behalf of the Gods.
“That is a very good tip,” I said at last.
“A tip?” He frowned at me in confusion. “Do you mean point?”
I laughed at my mistake and said, “Yes, you have made a good point.”
“So, you can get rid of that guilt then?”
“I suppose I can try,” I said softly. “But my opinion doesn't change the Captain's. She will cast dishonor upon my clan for my actions, and I will never be allowed back. I am dead to them.”
“That's a bit extreme,” Aidan huffed.
“It is our way. I broke a contract.”
“I'm sorry that breaking the rules got you into trouble, but sometimes rules need to be broken. And despite what your people think, you're a hero to us, Rieyu.” He laid a hand on my arm companionably, much as Kaelen had tried to do. “And that man back there—Kaelen—he's been waiting for you. He's a good person; he'll help you through this. You'll be welcomed here and in Varalorre with great honor. Maybe you can make a new clan for yourself.”
A new clan. There was hope in that. And Kaelen, yes, I knew he was a good man. Maybe he was good enough to make losing everything worthwhile. Maybe he could give me everything in return.
“Thank you. I will ponder that,” I said. “But . . . the Lion Lord . . .”
“I know. It's a bit of a shock. I've had some issues with my warlord too.”
I turned to face him fully, finally realizing who exactly he was. “Yes, you said you're a man of valor too.”
“A valorian,” he corrected. “But unlike you, I was made one without consent, and it's created some tension between Taryn and me.”
“Without consent?” I scowled at this, both in confusion and indignation. I couldn't see how he could go through what I did without agreeing to it.
“I was dying.” Aidan shrugged. “Taryn used the transformation to heal me. I'm not complaining about the results, mind you, just saying that things got complicated between us.”
“I didn't know a faerie soul could save a man from death,” I murmured, contemplating the magnitude of the magic inside me.
“How much has Kaelen told you?”
“Just that I am fae now, and we have a bond,” I said. “I saw his soul. It was . . .”
“Beautiful? Heartbreakingly stunning? Enough to bring you to your knees?”
I grinned at his efforts at levity. “Yes. And I heard his Gods. I think they're my Gods now.”
“A woman's voice and the call of animals?”
“Yes,” I said eagerly. “You heard them too?”
“Oh, yeah. And the Goddess spoke to me again when I saved Taryn last night.”
“But why me?” I asked. “Why have I been drawn into this war?”
“Because you're needed, I imagine.” Aidan shrugged. “Or maybe because you were born in the wrong place, to the wrong people.”
“How do you mean?” I asked, even as his words rang true for me.
“The Goddess created the Fae and the Farungal; she's their mother. When I was made a valorian, a peaceful feeling came over me, and she spoke to me. She said, 'I have you now.' As if she had taken me from someone and was proud of it. Relieved even. I think there are people whose souls are meant to be with the Goddess of the Fae, even though they are the children of other gods. It feels as if my birth was a cosmic mistake that the Goddess corrected. Maybe it's the same with you.”
I thought about my dream and the vision of the Shirie I'd seen in the mirror, then nodded. “I accepted Kaelen's offer for two reasons. First, my actions left me stranded here. And second, I've had a dream since I was a little boy. A dream of a lion attacked by monsters. A lion who I save.”
“Well, damn.” He whistled. “You really are meant to be here.”
“Perhaps, but destiny doesn't make things easier.” I was there, but I'd already done what I was meant to do. The question was, what was I meant to do next?
“No,” Aidan said grimly. “No, it usually makes them harder.”
I grunted and grinned at him. “Indeed, Aidan. But I will take guts from your story. You seem happy now and that gives me hope.”
“Take guts?” My fellow valorian blinked and frowned in confusion. “Do you mean, take heart?”
“Yes, take heart,” I corrected and laughed. “I know your language, but I am bad at your strange sayings. You take heart but have guts? Is that correct?”
“Yes.” Aidan smiled and laid a hand on my shoulder again. “And you have both, my friend. You have them in spades.”
“Spades?” I scowled at him. “Aren't those shovels?”
He burst out laughing, though I wasn't sure why, and we headed back toward camp together.
