A Daddy for Benito by Joe Satoria

15. BENITO

I had been waiting three months to talk to Alexi again. Three months of wondering if we were still friends. It felt strange knowing he wasn’t messaging me daily asking for advice, and I thought I always gave him the best information, albeit a little sexual, because I knew he was looking for a man to take care of him.

He’d agreed to meet me after his afternoon shift at Pink Paws. The one time I’d been there, I felt uncomfortable sat with him and Warren. I had no feelings for Warren, and yet it felt like I was intruding. The entire situation made me feel horrible. Maybe that’s why I ended up on those hook-up apps, where I first came into contact with Harry.

While in the Uber to the cat café, I played the event over in my mind. I was in my hotel room, already dressed up, already taking pictures for the forum. Harry was a blank profile. I saw the age, and his bio was just his dick size and girth. I actually messaged him first.

The fluorescent yellow and pink paint outside the shop and the sign. It looked the same, with the cats in the window. It was busier. But all I wanted was to see Alexi. All I wanted was to set things straight and have a friendship with him.

I felt still, stuck in the Uber. I wanted to get out but seeing the colours and having the memories painted in my eyes as if they were going to happen again, I was losing my confidence. That was the one aspect of myself I loved the most, my confidence, and I was losing it.

“Come on,” the driver spoke. “This is the address.”

“Right. Right.”

No chance in the matter. Dressed in the clothes Harry had picked out for me.

I saw him, sitting with the kittens, his hair tied up with two strands down each cheek. He was probably the only real friend I ever had, and that might have been because I was always so closed off from everyone in my real life, and always so open and honest online.

I caught his glance. He stood, immediately. He waved me inside.

Don’t be awkward, I told myself. The last thing I wanted or needed was to be a mess in front of him. That was the last thing, and I couldn’t go in there with all these weird miss your emotions because we’re friends, and I’d never told a single person I’d ever missed them before in my entire life.

“Alexi,” I said, “thank you for seeing me.”

He nodded and smiled back at me. “There’s seating upstairs,” his voice, as soft as the first time I met him.

“It’s been ages,” I said.

“I mean, you’re in Manchester now, I guess you’ll be unavoidable.” He offered a wry smile at the comment.

Great. This was a pity meeting. I followed him up the staircase in the same yellow and pink neon colours. I hadn’t been upstairs the last time I was here, in fact, I sat at the one table near the window and thought my life would flash before my eyes. I wasn’t the confrontational type. I was bratty, I could get what I wanted in the bedroom, but that same energy out in the real world didn’t really fly.

“It’s a big place,” I noted, sitting at a table. There were several other tables, only half of them occupied.

“Oh, Grant,” Alexi let out, noticing a man on the table near the back end. “I thought you left.”

Grant had tanned skin, a gorgeous smile, and thick stubble with a full head of coiffed hair. Biceps bulging out of his shirt. He sat at the table, collecting paper into a hand. “Yeah, just waiting on someone for an interview.”

“There’s jobs going here?” I immediately asked. It was something I mentioned to Warren as a light joke, but now I wasn’t sure so much if that was a joke, and perhaps a way for me to actually be out of the house.

“Yeah, part-time,” Grant answered. “Is this your friend, Alexi?” He stood, approaching us. “I’m Grant, the owner, with my sister.” He extended his hand to me. I shook it. It would be rude not to.

Alexi hummed. “Yeah, we’re friends.”

“If the interviewee doesn’t show up, I might just ask for your CV,” he chuckled. “Love the T-shirt.”

Alexi eyed the T-shirt. Of course, it was cat themed, I fit right in.

“Thank you,” I said.

He walked away, leaving us alone at the table.

“I didn’t tell Warren I agreed to meet you,” he said in a soft voice across the table. “He comes by most days, but today he’s got some big pitch. I didn’t want to stress him about this.”

“He doesn’t know?”

He shook his head.

“Ok,” I said. “Well, I wanted to settle everything between us so we can be friends again.”

Alexi smiled so innocently. “I have missed your messages, and you didn’t hurt me. It was—” he looked away, brushing the hair behind his ear. “You were loud and aggressive with him. I didn’t like it. And Warren never said I couldn’t be friends with you. I just didn’t want any drama.”

I nodded. I understood. I assumed that was the case. Alexi was so pure and innocent in all of this, and for me, the wrecking ball to come in, I nearly destroyed everything between them when I appeared. “Well, I never wanted drama. I don’t want it now. I’m just here to talk. I’ve moved here. I needed a change of scene, and I enjoyed myself, all things said and done, I had fun.”

“I thought you were against getting a job,” he let out in a slight chuckle.

Yeah. I’d definitely said that to him. I’d said a lot of things to him. And most of that was me putting on an act, or putting on a face, and not everything or all of what I was saying was actually true. “Except, now,” I said. “I’m—” trying to find the right word, I didn’t want to put Harry in the picture, I didn’t want to put any of them in the picture. “I’m trying to be better.”

Grant spoke up once again. This time, greeting a guy with a shaved head. He wore a large oversized blue sweater and a pair of shorts. The sweater looked like a chunky knit dress.

“If you are looking for a job,” Alexi began, taking a deep breath. “They’re starting a club in the back of the café next month. It’s probably more your speed, actually.” His voice turned to a whisper.

“What kind of club?” I asked, following the whisper.

“Sex,” he mouthed, already blushing at the word.

I nearly choked on hearing it in the softness of his throat. “I don’t—I—”

“Well, it’s about pet play,” he whispered, his eyes shifting as he pressed himself closer over the table, making sure nobody else was listening. “Like, you know.” He gestured with his fingers as ears on top of his head. “Cats and kittens. I think—” he nodded to Grant. “I think he’s into that.”

I’d seen pet play, most popularly pup play. It made sense they would have kittens and cat play here, it was a cat café, and the place was named Pink Paws. “That’s not for me,” I said. “I do dress up, but not that.”

He nodded, smiling to himself. “Yeah, same. Warren was telling me about it because Grant and him speak about marketing. He asked me if it were something I’d like, and I thought he meant they would have actual kittens.” He continued to blush as he told me, but he was speaking without need for pause or stutter. I felt pride with how far he’d come from all those months ago.

“Oh no, I doubt they’d ever have the actual cats involved, I think that’s a crime,” I let out in a mouthed whisper.

Alexi burst out into a chuckle. “That’s what Warren said.”

“Maybe if we get to stay friends, I might think about it.”

“Don’t,” he said.

“You don’t want to be friends?” I asked, straight out, I wanted an answer, and I wanted to know, immediately. “I don’t blame you; you’ve got everything set. You look happy, like you’re working through things.”

“No, I mean,” he paused, his back straight in the chair. “I want to be friends. You’re like the one person I’ve ever missed not speaking to. But I mean, don’t work here just to speak to me. Unless you actually want to work here, and I mean, here, and not in there.” His eyes gestured to a door at the end of the room. It was pink with the words in black saying PRIVATE.

“I do need a job,” I said, but it wasn’t on my current list. “I’m set for a little bit, so maybe if worst comes to the worst, you’ll find with a collar and some furry ears in that back room.”

Alexi continued to chuckle. “You already have ears; I’ve seen the picture.”

“No, no, no, no. That was a Halloween thing,” I said. “Not at all a sex thing.”

Alexi wiggled his brows at me. “Sure.”

I felt the weight lifted from my shoulders, and off my chest. There was something about hearing him laugh, the way it should have been the first time I arrived, instead of how it went.

“Well, I think I should get us some milkshakes to celebrate being friends.”

“I’d love one. Strawberry, please.”

“And, if you don’t want, I won’t tell Warren you’re in Manchester. He would want me to have more friends anyway. And Sugar is probably my best friend.”

“Oh, how is the kitten?”

“He’s getting bigger,” he said, gesturing with a hand. “But I think he’ll want a friend soon.”

As Alexi left, I grabbed my phone from my pocket. Harry had already texted a couple of times, asking for updates and making sure I was ok.

—I’m good. I think we’ve patched things up. I sent.

—Great!

—And he’s not going to tell Warren about me being back either, so you don’t have to worry. Because I also didn’t mention you to Alexi either. I added.

—Ok, well I’ll tell him on Friday anyway.

—I can’t wait see you later. I’m going to have a surprise.

—I HOPE IT’S NOT A CAT!

—No, no, it’s not! But maybe?

I watched as the messenger notification appeared with the speech bubbles. He was typing up a storm of a response. I don’t think I could cope with the demand or responsibility of a cat.