Virgin Marriage by Alexa Riley

Chapter 3

Skyler

He’s crazy. That’s all I can think as we make the drive back towards my place. Or maybe I’m crazy because I’m not trying to get away. I’d rather take the ride than a cab or the subway, though. This is cheaper, but I’m not sure it’s any easier. My heart is still pounding from seeing him and now I’m alone with him in a confined space. Everything about Jason does it for me, including his bluntness.

I swear he cast a spell on me because once again I’m falling. There’s something about his touch that undoes me. I don’t understand it, but with the smallest brush of his fingers my whole body goes haywire and all I feel is a pulsing need to be closer to him. It’s both terrifying and exciting.

I think that's why my life felt so empty when he stopped talking to me. I was just living before him and every day was the same. I was in a boring routine and in a life, at one time, I thought I wanted. It’s why I moved to Chicago to begin with because I’d been let down too many times before. I thought being alone would make it so that couldn't happen anymore.

I wanted to live a normal small life with a fresh start and it was working until Jason came along. He brought something new and exciting to my life, but as quickly as it started he disappeared. Once again I was faced with the reality that I can’t lean on anyone.

His laugh fills the inside of the truck and warms my skin all over. I have to fight a smile and I remind myself I’m mad. I'm trying to wallow in my self-pity over here and I have to bite my lip to keep from grinning.

“Well? What do you expect? One day your offices are filled and now everything is just gone.” It was eerie when I showed up for work and was told we no longer needed to clean the top two floors and that the business was gone. I went up to steal a peek because I didn’t believe it. There was nothing left. I never go up there anymore because it’s filled with memories of Jason and I try to keep those away.

“Sometimes businesses go under, Sky.” His laugh fades away and a long sigh takes its place.

“I’m sorry,” I admit. It isn't uncommon. I’ve been cleaning the building for some time now and I’ve seen several come and go. Some businesses go under and others move. I wasn't sure where Jason’s went, but I convinced myself he wanted to be so far from me that he moved his office. I know it’s a silly thought, but it’s what cemented in my brain. Years of my parents keeping their distance from me left its mark.

I feel bad that he lost it all; why couldn't he have shared that with me? To be honest I don’t even know what it was he did because all the offices look the same. The only real difference to Jason’s was the scent. It always smelled like him. It was like warm maple syrup and it made my mouth water. Before I met him I liked it, and then even more once I got to put a face to the scent. I know it’s crazy, but I was addicted to it before I ever met him and I thought maybe we were meant to be or some crap because of it. I guess he and I aren’t so different after all, but at least I’m not two-faced, because he clearly is. He goes from hot to cold in a flash and one second he won’t let me go then the next he can’t get away from me fast enough.

“I’m fixing it.” He shrugs and doesn’t elaborate.

I’m almost thankful for his short response because it reminds me of reality. We may have only spent a small amount of time together, but there was something between us and it was big. I can feel it all around us even now in the cab of the truck, but his hot and cold isn't going to work for me. I was finally starting to get over him, but even as I think that, I know it isn’t true. I might have been able to get over him one day, but this is a major setback.

“You do that,” I clip, unable to be nice. “I’ll work on eating all my pie,” I shoot him a glare that I don’t think he sees because his eyes are on the road.

“I’m going to fix that, too,” he adds.

“I have not lost any weight!” I yell at him. He glances over at me and shakes his head.

I don’t think I have, but I don’t own a scale. Those things are the devil and I’m not letting one into my place.

“Trust me, I would know.”

What does he really care? If I lost any weight it would be because I lost my appetite. I moped around for weeks after I saw him with that woman. I want to facepalm myself now that I know it was his sister, but I feel a little better at the knowledge.

Still, it’s been months since I saw him. There could have been others and I’m sure there were. I add fuel to my own fire for good measure because I need to keep my anger or I’ll fold like a cheap chair under his touch. So much came rushing back when I was sitting in his mother's kitchen. Hell, when he’d been fighting with his brother over me I had a sick satisfaction at watching it play out.

I shouldn't have enjoyed the jealousy I saw all over Jason’s face, but I loved every single second of it. I’d feel guilty if Jon hadn’t laughed off the fight afterwards. I’m sure growing up together it might have been normal. Not that I would know. Before today I had no idea Jason had siblings because he never told me those things. Everything was so single layer when I think back on it. It’s almost as though he was scared to get too close to me or didn't want to, but it’s not adding up with the way he’s acting now. The things he’s saying sound crazy and I can’t understand any of it.

I shouldn't judge him about the not sharing part though. I hadn't told him about my past either. My family isn't in my life and I moved to get away from them. Thank god they haven't come looking for me. For all I know they turned their noses up when they found me and let me be. But either way I don’t care because I don’t want a relationship with my parents. They were nothing like Jason’s mom. That women has mother written all over her and she’s the kind of mom everyone wants.

“I don’t trust anything about you,” I say to him because I can’t hold back what I’m feeling. “You still haven't said you aren't in the mob,” I add, and he doesn't laugh this time.

“While I want your trust, I don’t need it.” He shrugs, but it’s stiff this time. “I’ll make sure you eat the pie.”

“You’re not coming in.” I point my finger at him as he pulls up to a spot in front of my building.

“Sure I’m not.” He winks before grabbing all the pies between us and hopping out. I watch as he comes around and opens my door for me.

“You stole my pies,” I mutter in defeat.

I’ll have to let him up now if I want them. He holds out his hand to help me out of the truck, but I ignore it. It’s better if we don’t touch. I wince when my feet hit the ground and the pain from my scraped knees comes back. Jason lets out a curse and he shouts to the guy at the small newspaper stand nearby.

“Billy,” he calls out, and the guy comes running over.

“Hey, Mr. Fisher.” He smiles to Jason. “How are you doing today?”

My eyes dart between them. How the heck do they know each other? The older man never talks and I hardly know him. Everything is always “yes,” “no,” or “we’re out.”

“I could use a hand,” he tells Billy as he hands him the boxes of pies. Then he wraps an arm around me.

I go to pull back from him, but he lifts me into his arms before I can. “I’m fine,” I say through gritted teeth. I can walk, but it feels good to be in his arms again. I said I was fine, but I rest my head on his shoulder anyway and breathe him in.

“Billy can’t leave his stand. Come back for the pie,” I say against his neck.

“I don’t trust you either, Sky.” Jason clips the words but doesn't sound mad at me. Instead his voice is filled with self-loathing. I lift my head to glare at him. “If I left them in the car and came back for them you wouldn't let me back into your place. I know you’d lock the door.”

I would. “Someone could steal from Billy's stand,” I counter, not denying that I would lock him out. But then I wouldn't get my pies. Damn, that’s a double-edged sword.

“I’ll pay for anything that’s taken. Besides, this will only take a second.” Jason enters my building and goes straight for the stairs.

It’s one flight up to get to my place and the building is only five stories tall. There are four units on each floor and mine is the smallest one. I didn't need much even though I grew up in a big home. All that space felt empty to me and my place feels cozy.

I reach into my bag and pull out my keys before I unlock the door. Jason pushes it open for me and enters like he owns the place. He puts me down on my sofa that doubles as my bed then takes out his wallet and hands Billy some money. Billy hands over the pies, thanks Jason and leaves. The sound of the lock is loud in my small studio as Jason turns to look at me.

“Why wasn't the alarm on?” That was not what I thought he was going to say. He points at the small box on the wall next to the front door.

“I thought I’d only be gone a second.” The pie adventure wasn’t planned and got me into this mess.

“Always set it, Sky,” he orders.

“I think you should leave.” I tilt my chin up in challenge.

“Clearly you need someone to look after you.”

This time it’s me who laughs. I’ve been looking out for myself my whole life. The idea of someone else doing it is laughable. It sounds wonderful but Jason reminds me it’s something he can't give me. I learned that lesson once and I don't want to do it again. From my family or him, for that matter. I was shocked when I realized his disappearing cut deeper than my parents ever did and I know I can’t go through that again. Not even for a second can I let myself think Jason could be mine or that he wants me to be his.

If he truly wanted me the way he’s claiming he did, then he wouldn’t have let me go. But really I’m not so shocked because no one ever comes looking for me.