Fragile Longing by Cora Reilly
In addition to aerobics in the local Outfit gym where I’d met Marco’s wife Bria by chance and hit it off, I started yoga on her recommendation. Before our accidental meeting, I’d only seen her at the wedding. For some reason, we’d never had a double date. Danilo always met Marco alone, mostly to deal with business.
It was a beautiful, mild July morning when I rolled out my yoga mat beside the Koi pond. In the six weeks since I’d moved into the mansion, I’d started to feel more and more at home. I still talked to my mother every other day, but I didn’t feel homesick for Minneapolis anymore. Now that I had a friend in Bria, things were looking up on that front as well. The distance between Anna and me made regular meetings difficult, even if we texted daily.
I was in the downward-dog position when I spotted Danilo coming down the path in his usual dark suit.
He watched me as I moved out of downward-dog into cobra. It was only the second time that I’d done yoga in our garden next to the Koi pond, but I knew it would remain my favorite spot for as long as the weather allowed it. I loved watching the fish occasionally peek out of the surface as if they were checking on me. I didn’t even feel self-conscious as Danilo watched me. Yoga helped me forget all my troubles and lingering insecurities. I’d even considered finally calling Fina. She hadn’t tried to call me in two weeks, giving up after I never picked up. Now that my relationship with Danilo grew every day, I felt guilty for refusing to talk to her.
I sank down on my ass, my legs crossed. “Hey.”
He strolled over to me. Despite the early morning hour, he was already impeccably dressed, ready to start work early. I admired his work ethic, even if it meant we didn’t have as much time together as I might have liked sometimes. But Indianapolis was an important city, and Danilo was still a young Underboss in the Outfit. He needed to show he was a hard worker so his men and especially the Captains and other Underbosses respected him. Making bloody statements had its limits after all. They mostly only brought you fear, not admiration.
“I want to spend a few days in our lake lodge. It would be good to have time for each other without any distractions, like a mini-vacation.”
Surprised, I pushed to my feet and wiped my face with a towel. “That sounds great.” Remembering Danilo’s comment about the fireplace in the lodge, my belly filled with butterflies.
Danilo stepped close to me and cupped my face. “Just you and me, nothing else.”
I nodded against his mouth and sank into the kiss. His tongue parted my lips, eagerly tasting me. I loved kissing Danilo. It always awakened every nerve in my body. Since he’d gifted me the sex toy—something I hadn’t mentioned to Anna yet—I’d relaxed more and more, and I came every time we used it. While I loved it, I wanted to be physical with Danilo without the help of a device. Maybe the lodge would give us the opportunity.
“Aren’t you too busy?” I whispered when he pulled back.
Danilo hated leaving Indianapolis even for a day. Being the Underboss of one of the most important cities of the Outfit came with many responsibilities, and he took his responsibilities very seriously. That he’d leave his city for several days to spend time with me showed me that he really wanted our marriage to work.
“Our marriage is more important. We could use some time to enjoy each other’s company.”
A pleasant shiver mixed with nerves in my body. Would we finally have sex? I wasn’t as worried about the prospect as I used to be. In the last few days, Danilo had made sure to give me plenty of pleasure to make up for our botched-up first encounter, and I was certain he’d keep doing so.
“I can’t wait,” I murmured, hoping he understood what I meant.
He pulled me even tighter against him and kissed me until my clothes felt uncomfortably warm and my body pulsed with need.
“I need to get to a meeting with Marco,” Danilo murmured regretfully.
“I met his wife in the gym twice now. We really like each other. I thought we could have dinner together some time?”
Danilo looked surprised. “Marco didn’t mention anything.”
I shrugged. “Maybe Bria didn’t tell him.”
The look on his face told me that didn’t surprise him. I hadn’t talked to Bria about her marriage with Marco, so I wasn’t sure if they had problems. The only thing I knew was that they’d gotten married a few weeks before us.
“I’ll talk to Marco about it, but we’ll have our vacation first.” He kissed me again before he turned around. I watched him walk away and let out a small sigh, trying to ignore the pulsating need in my body.
I was more than ready to try again, and I knew this time would be perfect.
A week later, we finally made time for our getaway. It was the first time we’d returned to the Mancini lake lodge after Danilo’s birthday party. In the daylight, I could fully appreciate the beautiful landscape surrounding the lodge and the lake.
I peered curiously out of the window. A small flicker of nerves kindled in my belly as we drove up the driveway. I didn’t want to link this place with my bad memories. After all, a place couldn’t really harbor bad feelings, and I didn’t want to be shackled to the past.
Danilo put a hand on my knee and squeezed. “Are you all right?”
I glanced over to him and curled my fingers around his. “Yeah, just enjoying the landscape.”
“I hope you can enjoy the trip. I know your only experience here was horrible, but I really love spending time at the lodge, and I hope you will eventually as well.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll just focus on the here and now.”
Danilo pulled up in front of the lodge, a two-story timber building with a large patio overlooking the tree-lined lake.
I got out and breathed in the fresh forest air. The late July heat dominating Indianapolis wasn’t present here. It was warm and humid, but not hot. Perhaps we could really light a fire in the fireplace.
Danilo grabbed our luggage from the trunk and carried it into the lodge. Now, without dozens of guests and flashing lights, the cozy vibe the inside of the house gave off surprised me. Everything was timber, sheep skin, cow hide rugs, and soft, cognac-colored leather sofas. Huge windows allowed the sun to penetrate the big rooms with their high ceilings. A magnificent stone fireplace dominated the center of the living area as was standard in most lodges in the area. Danilo set down the luggage in the lobby and showed me around. When we stepped out onto the patio, I had a brief flashback, remembering how I’d first spotted Danilo on the lower deck and how we’d danced together. Goosebumps sprang up on my skin, but the onslaught of memories didn’t come.
Danilo touched my hip, his eyes searching mine. “Are you sure you’re fine?”
“Definitely,” I said. “How about you show me the rest of the lodge?”
Danilo led me to a jacuzzi off to the side of the patio that overlooked the lake and the surrounding forest. I hadn’t noticed the sauna off to the side of the patio the last time.
It took my breath away.
I remembered briefly seeing the jacuzzi at the party, crowded with half-naked, drunk people. Suddenly curious, I narrowed my eyes at Danilo. “How often did you have parties like that?”
Danilo chuckled. “To be honest, I wouldn’t even have organized that party at all if it weren’t for Marco. He was determined to have a last hurrah for us before we got married.”
I huffed. “A last hurrah it was.”
Danilo stroked my hip, tugging me against him. “One of my least favorite birthday memories, if I’m being honest. I hope we can create many more far better memories in the future.”
“We will,” I said.
Danilo had been attentive and loving these last few weeks. He’d really been trying as much as I had. Finally, I wasn’t the only one who seemed invested in our relationship. Apart from that, the way Danilo looked at me often made me think he might have feelings for me. I doubted those feelings were love. I didn’t want to lose myself in foolish hope again, but there was definitely something there.
“Why don’t we have a spa evening?” Danilo suggested. “We’ll soak in the hot tub for a bit, then go into the sauna. We can cool off in the lake.”
The temperatures in this part of the state were still moderately warm, but it usually cooled down in the evening. An evening in the hot tub and sauna sounded amazing.
I smiled. “Sounds wonderful.”
“Let’s unpack and drive to the grocer to grab food for the next few days. There’s still game in the freezer from my last couple of hunting trips with Marco, so we should have enough meat for our trip. But we can’t defrost it until tonight.”
“We could cook something together. Maybe involtini or saltimbocca?”
Danilo nodded. “Let’s see what the small grocer has. They mostly have game and fresh fish.”
“We’ll make it work.”
After unpacking, which took far longer than usual because I was stunned by the breathtaking view through the panorama windows over the lake in our bedroom, we finally set out for the grocer.
After a quick dinner of grilled fish and corn followed by grilled watermelon, something I’d never considered a possibility but was incredibly delicious, we went up to the bedroom to undress.
Danilo followed my every move as I stripped and stood before him completely naked. He was naked as well, and I admired his body. My lips twitched into a smile as I watched his cock grow. His returning smile was dark and hungry. He reached for something I hadn’t noticed on the nightstand before—my small bullet vibrator. It was another toy Danilo had bought for me, one that could be inserted fully without any clit stimulation.
“I brought this with me. It’s been quite useful so far.”
I bit my lip. “Good thing it’s waterproof, I guess.”
Danilo slowly approached me, the small device in his hand and a look on his face that made my core contract deliciously. “May I?”
I nodded, becoming even more aroused by the idea of Danilo doing this. So far, I had always inserted it. Danilo stroked the outside of my leg.
“Raise one of your legs on the bed,” he instructed.
I did, trying to look elegant, despite my exposed state. Danilo’s fingers brushed my sensitive folds as he slowly inserted the vibrator, never taking his eyes off me. My lips fell open as he pushed it deeper and deeper. Our eyes met, and he seemed ready to devour me. He dropped his hand, but I wanted nothing more than for him to keep touching me there.
“How does it feel?”
“Good,” I rasped out as I lowered my leg.
He reached for the remote control on his nightstand. My nipples puckered at once, anticipating what was to come.
Danilo turned the vibrator to the lowest vibration level, only a whisper of pleasure but at the same time the promise of more. “Ready to soak in the jacuzzi?”
I pushed up on my tiptoes and kissed him before murmuring, “So ready.”
Danilo let out a low groan and took my hand, tugging me along. The first few steps sent shockwaves of pleasure through my core as my body adapted to the vibration deep within.
Danilo looked at me from the corner of his eye, knowing full well that I was oversensitive right now, but he didn’t slow. Not that I was any less eager about spending a relaxing and hopefully pleasurable evening in the hot tub and lake.
Danilo clutched my hand firmly as he led me to the jacuzzi. Even that innocent touch felt like so much more just because of the device inside of me. I felt naughty and daring and incredibly sexy knowing that it turned Danilo on. The temperature outside had cooled considerably, and the light breeze caressed my skin in the most tantalizing way.
Danilo helped me up on the steps to the jacuzzi. As I lowered myself into the hot water, a soft moan escaped me. My muscles relaxed as I sank back against the backrest, savoring the sensations inside of me.
Danilo was sporting an impressive erection by now. I grinned, knowing it turned him on to control the little device steering my pleasure.
He put his arm around my shoulders, his fingers stroking my upper arm. I rested my head against his strong arm and gazed out over the lake. It was such a peaceful sight, so very unlike my first impression of the area on Danilo’s birthday.
“What are you thinking?” Danilo asked carefully, as if he could sense that my thoughts had drifted back in time.
I brushed my palm over his chest. “Just enjoying the beautiful view.”
I raised my head and captured his lips for a sensual kiss. I pressed even closer to him, sliding onto his lap. His erection brushed against my thigh. Danilo shifted me until I straddled him, his length pressing up against my belly and rubbing deliciously against my most sensitive spot. I wrapped my arms around Danilo’s neck, trying to mold our bodies together. I moaned into his mouth when his cock put the perfect amount of pressure on my clit. Danilo’s palm slid down my back slowly before he cupped my ass and squeezed. Another moan slipped out. “I can’t wait to be inside of you,” he growled.
Despite the brief flash of nerves, I wanted that, too. Danilo’s eyes met mine, trying to gauge my reaction. I held his gaze. “I’d like that.”
Danilo brushed his lips across my cheek and ear. “Tomorrow. We had a long drive today, and I want to make tomorrow really special.”
We spent the next hour making out in the jacuzzi until I began to rock myself almost frantically against Danilo and he released a low groan. He stopped me with an almost painful look. “I have to stop you there or I’ll embarrass myself.”
I couldn’t help but giggle, reveling in the power I possessed.
Danilo lifted me to my feet with a growl and stood. “Enough.” But he squeezed my ass playfully and helped me out of the jacuzzi. “Maybe I need to give you a taste of your own medicine.”
He bent down and picked up the remote control he’d dropped on one of the lounge chairs. I bit my lip. He upped the vibrations, causing me to lean into him with a sharp exhale. Danilo kneaded my ass cheek again. We stepped into the Finnish sauna. Heat blasted my body. Too many sensations overwhelmed me. The vibration, the heat, Danilo’s hand on my ass. We settled on the wooden benches in the sauna. Danilo put a spoonful of water on the coals, and the scent of fir filled my nose.
My eyes took in his erection that strained to attention.
Danilo noticed my gaze and leaned closer to whisper, “You’re doing this to me, Sofia.”
I brushed my finger down his abs and curled my hand around his cock, massaging him the way he liked.
He reached for the remote control and upped the vibrations again. My fingers jerked against Danilo’s length. I could feel myself getting closer and wondered if I could come without any friction to my clit. Danilo gently pushed my hand away. “Not yet,” he said roughly. He stood and helped me to my feet. I felt shaky on my legs, trembling from the small bolts of pleasure that radiated through me.
“Let’s cool off a bit.”
Danilo led me down to the lower deck. I slowly lowered myself into the cold lake. I gasped, then relished the sensation because it cleared the lust-filled haze from my head. Danilo winked at me and dived in headfirst, sprinkling me with ice-cold water. He burst through the surface a moment later.
Grinning, he swam over to me and dragged me against him. I twined my legs around him and kissed him again. He moved us over to the shore so he could stand and keep us both above the water. Danilo rubbed my back, then moved lower to squeeze my ass. “Danilo,” I whispered. I wasn’t sure how to voice my need.
“Soon,” Danilo promised.
Soon sounded too far away. I needed relief now, but I allowed myself to sink into the kiss, to savor the moment.
I began to tremble in the cold water despite Danilo’s ministrations. “Time to warm up,” he murmured, dragging his mouth away from mine. Linking our fingers, he led me back to the soft-pebbled shore and up a narrow path onto the patio. The boards were warm from the fire. I curled my toes in delight, feeling the warmth return to them.
Danilo grabbed one of the plush towels he’d put on a chair and wrapped it around my shoulders before he turned the bullet vibrator off. I gave him an indignant look, but he only smiled, a dark promise of what was to come. He began to dry me with soothing, gentle rubs. My arms, my back, then even gentler over my breasts. My nipples became even harder and not because of the cold. He took his time with my breasts, brushing the soft fabric over my aching nubs in tantalizing circles until small pants escaped my parted lips. This felt so good, and slowly a deep, aching need spread between my thighs.
His eyes followed the movements of his hands as they traveled to my belly. He dried my ass, squeezing gently now and then. I bit my lip when he got down on his knee to dry my thighs, leaving him eye-level with my pussy. I could feel how achingly wet I was and knew Danilo would be able to see it. He lifted my leg to dry it off and propped my foot up on his knee. His gentle rubbing increased the throbbing between my legs, and the cool air hitting my wet flesh only heightened the sensation. Danilo’s eyes lingered on my pussy as he rubbed my thighs, and I clenched involuntarily under his attention. At last, he touched the towel to my aching flesh, gently stroking me dry.
My breathing became heavy, but too soon Danilo was done and dropping the towel. He didn’t get up. Instead, he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to my pussy. My breath hitched and my hands shot out to grab his head. His warm breath ghosted over my flesh before he pressed a firmer, lingering kiss against my folds, his lips grazing my clit. I released a soft whine. I hadn’t even realized how much I longed for this.
“What do you want, Sofia?” he murmured between kisses, making it difficult to form a thought. So far, I’d tried to keep some distance between us by not allowing this kind of closeness. The little device still inside of me allowed me pleasure without too much physical contact, a strange possibility.
I wanted to let loose, to succumb to Danilo’s touch, wanted to really bring our bodies together, even at the risk of opening up my emotions again.
“Sofia,” he groaned. “I’m going crazy down here. Let me taste you.” The flames barely penetrated the surrounding dark and distorted Danilo’s face. I knew it would do the same with mine, protecting me from his penetrating stare.
Instead of replying, I shifted my leg to the side, allowing him access. He gently tugged at the cord of my bullet vibrator, making me moan before he pulled it out slowly and put it down on the towel beside us. Then he didn’t hesitate. His tongue dived in, tasting me, parting my folds to explore my sensitive flesh. I clung to his head, closing my eyes as I practically rode his mouth. I felt wanton, almost depraved, like I could let loose in the safety of the dark, could be someone else. With every trace of his hot tongue over my slit, more of my control slipped away. Every inch of my body seemed to pulsate with need. His tongue stroked and teased until he began licking my clit with slow, precise movements that had me moaning loudly.
I glanced down, needing to see what he was doing. In the flickering light, I could see that his eyes were closed, a confident smile tugging at his lips, which were pressed up to my pussy. His tongue darted out, lapping at me, and I couldn’t hold back. I came with a harsh cry that echoed over the lake, pressing myself against Danilo’s mouth, wanting his tongue deep inside of me. It was a strange thought, but I couldn’t shake it. His fingers dug into my ass, shoving me even closer. As if he could read my darkest desires, he buried his tongue deeply in me. I kept watching, unable to rip my eyes away from the sight of Danilo pleasuring me.
I almost sobbed with pleasure, still clinging to his head, not wanting this to end even when it became too much. Danilo pulled back and pressed a kiss to my folds before he moved up my body and claimed my mouth for a kiss. I reached for his erection, but he gently grabbed my wrist.
“I want to come inside of you. Tomorrow.” He looked deeply into my eyes, waiting for me to say something.
I kissed him, whispering, “I want that, too.”
We settled on the lounge furniture, Danilo’s arms wrapped around me from behind. The flames kept us in a warm cocoon and Danilo’s body shielded me from the wind. The trees rustled in the breeze and the waves lapped at the shore. It was so peaceful.
“What happened to your sister?” I asked softly, stroking Danilo’s arm.
He didn’t react, as if he hadn’t heard me, and I wondered if he chose to not answer me. I didn’t want to push him, but I hated basing my opinion on the rumors and gossip that was floating around in our circles. And asking Emma seemed like a breach of Danilo’s trust, as if I was passing him by. Not to mention that I wanted to know about the man at my side. That part of Danilo’s past played such a crucial role in his life that not knowing seemed like a disadvantage if I wanted to get to know him fully.
“She was in a car accident,” he murmured, his voice heavy with guilt and wistfulness.
I’d heard different stories about how badly the car had crashed. Some rumors speculated that Danilo had been the driver and that it had been swiped under the rug. Given his obvious feelings of guilt, I wondered if the rumors had some truth to them.
“Emma had a ballet show one evening. My father was in hospital because of his cancer and Mother spent the evening with him. He was just recovering from surgery. I went to see Emma’s show but shortly before it was over, I got a call from one of our men that there had been a bloody conflict with the Bratva.” Danilo glowered into the flames as he replayed the day. I angled my body so I could see him better.
“Father couldn’t handle it because of his sickness, so I had to deal with the matter. I chose to leave the show early and let Emma’s bodyguard drive her home so I could head out to the bar that had been attacked. An hour later, Marco called me to tell me Emma had been in a brutal crash.”
His voice carried so much pain and regret that my own heart felt heavy.
“I drove to the hospital, the same hospital where my father was recovering. She was still in surgery when I arrived. When the doctor told me that her spine was crushed and that the chances of her ever walking again were close to zero, I thought the rug was being pulled from under my feet. And then I had to tell my parents, because nobody had informed them about the crash yet.”
He paused, the pain of the memory palpable. I linked our fingers, wishing I could have been there for him that day.
“When I entered my father’s hospital room and saw him and mother both already at the edge of what they could take, I considered lying to them, but they deserved to know the truth. My mother broke down crying, and my father tried to get up from the bed, even though his surgery had only been the day before. They didn’t blame me, which for some reason only made me feel worse.”
“But you didn’t drive the car. It was the bodyguard’s job to protect Emma and take her home safely. You couldn’t have known that he’d crash. You tried to fulfill your duty to the Outfit like your father probably expected from you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Danilo’s smile was grim. “I still feel like it was my job to keep my sister safe. She loved ballet so much, and she was really talented, and then in one moment, it was taken from her without any fault of her own. All because the bastard of a bodyguard felt provoked by another driver and chose to participate in a street race. The asshole had drunk alcohol.”
“What happened to him?”
For a second, harsh brutality reflected in his eyes and I knew the answer. “He got the death he deserved, begging for mercy but being denied just like Emma’s denied a normal life.”
I squeezed his hand. “Emma is such a positive person. She’s strong. She’s taking it with so much grace. I doubt she blames you.”
“She doesn’t. She’s told me that repeatedly, but like you, she’s too kind for this world, Sofia.”
I pursed my lips. “Being kind doesn’t mean being blind to the truth. You weren’t guilty. End of the story.”
“You don’t seem to leave me any choice but to take your word for fact,” he said with barely hidden amusement.
I braced myself on his chest, trying to look stern. “That’s right. I’m putting my foot down.”
He shook his head, chuckling. “I guess then I have no choice but to listen to you.”
I leaned forward and kissed him.
“Do you miss her?” he asked carefully.
He didn’t have to say her name for me to know he was talking about Serafina. I was taken aback by him bringing my sister up. So far, he’d avoided her like the devil avoided holy water.
“Yeah, sometimes. Especially at Christmas or birthdays, but sometimes just in ordinary situations, but it’s okay. She’s got her life, and I’ve got mine.”
I waited for his anger, because it usually came quickly when Las Vegas was mentioned, even just in passing. I considered telling him the truth, that I’d talked to Fina on the phone a few times, but then chose not to do it. He’d take it as betrayal, which was another reason why I wasn’t sure if I could talk to my sister again. “What about you?”
His brows furrowed. “Why would I miss her? I never spent time with her. I have you, and I don’t want anyone else.”
I leaned against him, soaking up his words eagerly. They were said without hesitation.
Goosebumps pricked my skin from the cool breeze. Danilo stroked my arm. “Should we go in? You’re cold.”
“No,” I said quickly. “Let’s stay for a little while. It’s too beautiful.”
Danilo nodded, peering down to me. “You’re absolutely right.”
