Fragile Longing by Cora Reilly

Ismiled despite my nerves. I’d been dreaming about this day, about this moment for years.

Danilo kissed me again before he got up and slid down his pants and boxers. I’d seen him naked before and, as always, a wave appreciation overwhelmed me, drowning out most of my anxiety. That didn’t last long, though. The moment Danilo settled between my legs, it returned with full force.

Danilo cradled my face, holding my gaze. “Relax for me, beautiful.” Our eyes locked and slowly my body relaxed. His hand slid between my thighs and his touch quickly reminded me of the pleasure I’d felt before.

My body sprang to life when Danilo touched me. Soon, I was slick and ready. Danilo’s face hovered close to mine and he didn’t look away from my eyes once.

I smiled, his warmth and care surrounding me. For the first time, I felt truly seen by Danilo, as if he saw beyond what I wasn’t and really noticed me for who I was. And even better than that, he seemed to like the real me.

His lips found mine and then he shifted. He eased into me. None of the expected pain came as he slowly slid into me, taking his time to give my body the chance to grow used to the intrusion. I exhaled at the feeling of utter fullness. Danilo didn’t move, only kissed me gently, brows drawn together in concern. I tightened my hold on him and finally he moved. With every thrust, he seemed to bring us closer, not just physically but also emotionally, as if one barrier after the other was lowered until nothing was left between us. I didn’t allow fear of the emotional closeness to take root. I lived in the moment, in the feel of our united bodies. It was better than all my fantasies because it was real and perfect even with its small imperfections.

My eyes were locked on Sofia’s gorgeous face, on the way her pouty lips parted for another moan. I stroked away the strands of hair sticking to her forehead. Her breathing hitched again. Her walls fisted me tightly, giving me pleasure beyond measure. I thrust harder and lifted one of her legs over my back to change the angle. I needed to feel more of her.

Sofia gasped, a mix of pain and pleasure.

My movements became uncontrolled and I thrust into her harder. Her nails scraped along my back, her breath hitching. I knew she wouldn’t come, and so I allowed myself to let loose, to lose myself in Sofia. My balls tightened and I pounded into her, until finally I exploded.

Sofia’s eyes widened.

I kissed her cheek then her mouth, trying to catch my breath. “Are you okay?” I met her gaze and was rewarded with an exhausted smile.

“Yeah.”

Pushing off Sofia, I carefully slid out of her and stretched out beside her. She snuggled close to me.

This felt perfect, feeling her body against mine. I wrapped my arms around her, wanting her even closer.

I kissed her temple, my fingers stroking the soft skin of her arm. The fire crackled in the fireplace and Sofia released a soft sigh.

“This was perfect.”

“I’m glad you think so. I had a lot to make up for.”

She looked up. “It was my fault, too. You couldn’t have known it was me.”

It was the first time she’d said it. It eased some of my guilt. Not all of it, though. “It’s not just that. I was an idiot for a long time.”

She didn’t contradict me, and I chuckled.

“That’s the past, I prefer to focus on the present.”

“I wish I had your ability to let the past rest.”

She peered up. “What do you mean?”

The hint of uncertainty in her voice told me she thought I was referring to Serafina. “My desire to get revenge on Remo Falcone. I can’t let it drop. Whenever I hear his name or think about him, this insatiable need to destroy him arises. It’s all about my pride.”

“Hmm. Maybe you feel that you never got the chance for closure because Remo and my sister managed to escape.”

I nodded. “Still, I should be able to let it pass. Things are going amazing for me. I have a wonderful wife and business is thriving. I long for nothing, and yet . . .”

“You want revenge,” Sofia mused, stroking my arm.

“Yeah,” I murmured, then my lips twisted. “Not the most romantic topic right now.”

Sofia shook her head with a smile. “I always appreciate you sharing personal details with me. After being so close to you physically, it feels good to get closer to you emotionally as well.”

“Aren’t we close emotionally?” I asked. I’d tried to open up to her a bit more every day. I had always been a man who dealt with things on his own and didn’t talk about emotions, so sharing this part of me with others didn’t come easily.

“We are, but like you said, it takes time to really get to know each other.”

“We have time.”

She rolled over until we were both facing the fireplace and my cock was nestled against her firm butt. She arched into me with a soft laugh.

“I should warn you now that I’ve had you, I’ll want you every day, Mrs. Mancini.”

“I love it when you call me that,” she admitted.

I smiled against her hair. “I love that you have my name, that you’re mine.”

She nodded and covered my hand with hers.

At the feel of Sofia’s ass against me, blood gathered in my cock.

Sofia snuggled even closer, making me groan. She laughed. “We still have a few days and plenty of places to test out.”

I kissed her shoulder. “The lake, the sauna, the pool, the kitchen . . .”

“The bed?” Sofia said in a teasing voice.

“Even the bed.”

Sofia and I spent the next three days doing exactly that, fucking in every room of the lodge. Even better than the sex was cooking together, taking long walks through the forest that I knew by heart and listening to Sofia’s hysteric giggles whenever she went into the cold lake.

On our last evening in the lodge, Danilo and I relaxed in the sauna. I slanted a look at Danilo’s erection. He’d pretty much sported one since we’d come down here naked. I knew what I wanted to do, but I wasn’t sure how to go about it. I’d given him a few hand jobs but had never gone down on him. We always ended up having sex so the opportunity had never presented itself.

I leaned closer to him and stroked the inside of his thigh.

Danilo cupped my neck, his eyes boring into mine. “I’ve been fantasizing about you on your knees for months now, how my cock would look in your beautiful mouth.”

I smiled because he always seemed to know what I desired. Every time Danilo told me he fantasized about me my confidence swelled. Emboldened, I sank to my knees until my face was at eye-level with Danilo’s cock. Danilo’s fingers tangled in my hair, nudging me forward. His eagerness made me giggle before I could stop myself.

“Sofia,” he rasped, a hint of exasperation fighting with need in his voice. He was desperate for my touch. Allowing the desire the vibrator created in my center to guide me, I leaned forward and closed my lips around the tip then sucked like I’d done with his finger. Danilo hissed, his fingers against my scalp flexing.

“Not that hard,” he grunted. “Let me show you.”

His fingers stroked my neck as he began to shift his hips, sliding in and out of me. I only lightly closed my lips around him, worried about sucking too hard again, but soon I could tell that Danilo wanted more, and so I sucked harder again.

“Fuck yes,” Danilo muttered, his thrusts gaining momentum. I cupped his ass cheek, enjoying the feel of its flexing. Danilo watched me the entire time as I sucked him. He made me feel as if I were the center of his world. I stroked his balls, wanting to see him lose it completely, and soon his face contorted and his movements became jerky.

“I’m coming,” he warned.

I didn’t pull back. I clung to him, and when he finally erupted in my mouth, I was so distracted by his passion-ridden face that I hardly minded the taste. I didn’t dare moving. I wanted him to savor the moment and marveled at the spasms that took hold of him. He watched me the entire time as I swallowed, his expression burning up with desire.

After that, it was my turn to relax on my towel with Danilo’s head buried between my legs. A midnight swim cooled us both off and afterward we settled on the sofa in front of the fireplace.

Danilo leaned in, his voice low, “I think I’m falling for you, Sofia. More every day I spend with you.”

I’d been waiting to hear those words for years but now that he said them all I could think about was if his feelings were already stronger than the ones he’d had for my sister. I’d thought I had put the past to rest but this one thing kept rearing its ugly head.

“What about Serafina?”

His brows crashed together. “Serafina? Why would you ask about her when I told you I was falling for you?”

I gave him a look. He really didn’t know? I sat up, hating myself for bringing her up, but at the same time unable to put her out of my mind. Danilo sat up as well and cradled my face, forcing me to look at him.

“Sofia, what can I do so you’d stop comparing yourself to your sister? It’s been years.”

“Stop loving my sister, stop living with the regret of losing her.”

Danilo shook his head. “I told you I never loved your sister. I didn’t know her. I wanted her like a crow wants to possess a shiny piece of jewelry. I can’t deny I regretted losing her for the longest time, but it wasn’t because of my feelings for her. It was because of my hatred for Remo Falcone. I’ll never not want to kill that man.”

“You’re the proudest man I know.”

“I am, and that’s my greatest sin. Considering everything I’ve done, that says a lot, Sofia.” His eyes softened as he stroked my cheek. “I care about you, Sofia, and I’m falling for you. Maybe I already . . .” He sighed. Had he almost said he loved me? “I’m a cautious man when it comes to emotions. But believe me when I tell you that I’ve never loved another woman, not your sister and not anyone else.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Reclining on his shoulder, I whispered, “Then why did you really sleep with all those blonde women? And don’t tell me it’s because you like blondes because you definitely didn’t like me with blonde hair.”

“I hated it,” Danilo said without hesitation, his fingers playing with a strand of my hair. “I love your hair color. It’s beautiful. When I saw you in blonde, it looked all wrong.”

“Because I looked like a bad replica of my sister,” I guessed.

Danilo gave me a strange look. “If that’s how you want to put it. You reminded me of your sister, yes.”

Maybe I’d hoped he’d deny it, but I was glad he was being honest with me. “But you didn’t want to be reminded because it hurt too much, and you wanted her back and I wasn’t her.”

Danilo cupped my face. “No, that’s not it. I hated being reminded of your sister when I looked at you because I hated your sister. Whatever I might have felt for her once—and it wasn’t love—had turned ugly and dark. I didn’t want to feel hatred every time I looked at you. I didn’t want to be reminded of your sister’s actions when I was with you. Having Serafina’s appearance thrown at me like that threw me completely.”

“But if it’s only hatred you felt and if you didn’t want to be reminded of her, why did you seek out blonde women?”

He grimaced. “I’m not proud of it. You remember how I was with you when you wore that blonde wig?”

I nodded, even if I’d tried to forget it.

“I was being a selfish asshole with those blonde girls, seeking them for angry sex. I didn’t treat them right, not like I wanted to treat you, and when I fucked them it was to release some of that anger. It was messed up. I’m fucking messed up, but in some way, it felt like I was paying your sister back.”

I tilted my head, trying to understand his reasoning. I didn’t really understand it. But my actions hadn’t always been logical, either. I still cringed when I thought of dyeing my hair blonde to look like Serafina, as if by changing my hair color I could become her, replace her.

“I guess we both had some issues to work through.”

“I caused your issues. But you didn’t have a hand in my messed-up state.”

“They weren’t only caused by you, Danilo,” I said firmly. “The situation was complicated. Mom, Dad, Samuel, and so many more people mourned Fina so strongly that it made me feel inadequate. I thought I’d take Fina’s place in their hearts, as if her disappearance would leave an open slot behind that I could fill in, but instead it created a black hole that consumed everything around it. I wasn’t sure how to deal with it.”

Danilo took my hand and kissed my knuckles. “You were young, Sofia. If even we adults couldn’t handle the situation with grace, how were you supposed to do it?”

“I know that now, but back then I thought I was already old enough to handle everything.”

“But you weren’t. It was our job—my job—to protect you from everything and not bask in revenge.”

“It’s okay. All that matters is that I know you don’t have feelings for my sister.”

Danilo tipped his finger against my forehead. “Took your stubborn head long enough.”

I shrugged. “I guess we can both be stubborn at times.”

Danilo pulled me closer against him and my eyes began to droop as I watched the flames. I felt like I could really let the past rest now. I believed Danilo.

Once we were home, I’d call Fina. She wasn’t the problem, had probably never been. I missed her and wanted to talk to her.

Danilo kissed my neck, but his breathing evened out soon after.

Maybe I should have told him about my phone call with Fina and been completely honest, but I knew it wouldn’t do anything except make him furious.

The next morning as we headed back to Indianapolis, excitement filled me. I was looking forward to what lay ahead. Danilo held my hand throughout the entire drive. We had a dinner with Marco and Bria that evening, but I hoped to get the chance for a quick call with Fina before.

When we arrived at home, Danilo headed into his office for a few phone calls while I hurried outside toward the pond to watch the Koi. The staff had fed them. I settled on a nearby bench and called Fina’s number. She picked up after the third ring. “Sofia?”

“Fina,” I said quietly.

“Oh God, it’s really you. I’m so relieved. I was so worried about you when you didn’t answer my calls after your wedding.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I needed to figure out a few things, but now that I have, I’d like to phone you weekly, if you still want that.”

“Of course. But tell me, are you all right? How’s married life?”

She sounded so excited and concerned at once, full-blown older sister mode.

“Good. We spent a few days at the lake to relax. I really like living in Indianapolis.” We talked about more meaningless details, like yoga and my cooking course, avoiding topics that could be considered betrayal.

When I ended the call, even the last bit of weight had lifted off my shoulder. I strolled back inside. Danilo was still on the phone from the sound of it. A brief flicker of guilt filled me, knowing I kept a secret, but I pushed it aside.