Now Or Never by Stella Rhys

25

IAIN

I was exhausted, drained to my core by the time my car got back into the city. As it generally was when I went there, it had been a hell of a day.

But the worst part this time was knowing that I’d fucked up with Holland.

I should have called her. Waited till I had the calm and the capacity to talk to her on the phone so she could hear my voice as I apologized.

But I wasn’t entirely sure when that calm would come, so I texted before it got any more last-minute. I watched the ellipses come up as she texted, and then I watched it disappear.

I didn’t have the time to call until I was in the car, but by then her phone was off.

And though she’d turned in on long enough to text okay I understand around 2PM, it was off again by the time I received the text and called her.

Obviously, it didn’t sit well with me.

In fact, I felt like shit about it, which was why I’d headed back as early as possible and was on my way downtown to her apartment.

I was about ten blocks away when Adam called, and though I’d been ignoring non-urgent calls in the past hour, I picked up his, barely getting a word out before he spoke over me.

“You fucking kidding me, Thorn?”

I blinked. “Come again?”

He hissed out a bitter laugh of disbelief. “Just come clean with me, man. Of all people to keep this from.”

My pulse picked up as I paused, a thousand possibilities racing through my head as I asked, “What are you talking about?”

I waited what felt like an eternity before Adam finally spoke.

“Engelman-Thorn?” he said with a laugh of genuine amusement. “Dude. When were you going to tell me you were working on a merger with my agency?”

I closed my eyes and exhaled, rubbing my hand over my entire face when I realized what the hell he was actually talking about. “You were going to find out once it was closer to official,” I said.

“My sources tell me it’s getting there. Likely the end of the year.”

“Yeah. Finally,” I said, referring to the past eighteen months of nonstop meetings with my board, conference calls with the West Coast and secret meetings in L.A.

All for the purpose of joining forces with the first agency I’d ever worked for. The one Adam was still at.

“If only the bastard knew,” Adam remarked, making my jaw tick at the reference to my dad. He had both envied and revered his friend Don Engelman. Had always wanted to make a merger happen.

But time and again, his attempts had failed.

“Well, I’m sure he’ll find out in another life,” Adam said distractedly before snorting. “I can’t believe you’re going to be my boss.”

“I can’t believe you’re this relaxed about it. I’ve been picturing your reaction for a year, and you’re giving me far less shit than I expected.”

“Yeah, I’ll make up for it another time,” he joked, attempting a laugh. “It’s just been fucking rough today.”

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Just some shit with Holland this morning,” he said, making me immediately still. I sat upright.

“What happened with Holland?” I asked, my voice already tight.

He waited less than a second to answer, but I still found myself getting impatient. “She called this morning and laid into me. Thought I slipped and told Dad her address.”

“Why can’t your dad—” I cut off, realizing the answer halfway through my question. “Because your mom would get it out of him in a heartbeat.”

“Yeah,” Adam said dryly, his stress now audible. “And if she had it, she’d be terrorizing Holland in person, which… I fucking hope to God she isn’t doing right now.”

My grip tightened on my phone as I felt a sharp rise in my pulse. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“My mom.” Adam muttered some choice expletives for Jeannie before explaining. “She finally snapped today. I mean she’s been a ticking time bomb so I guess we should’ve known it was coming, but Christ… Holland forwarded me the voicemail and that psycho was crying like she was being fucking murdered. Talking about how ungrateful Holland is, how she was going to hurt herself. All the classics minus the whole ‘I’m coming for you because I found out your address thing.’ That’s definitely new.”

I palmed my hand over my entire head.

What the fuck.

“So, what’s going on now? Where’s Holland? Is she okay?” I asked, not bothering to disguise my urgency.

I wasn’t even sure when I’d told my driver to pull over the car. All I knew was that we were stopped now, my jaw clenched tight and my mind was racing a mile a minute as I ran through every possibility of what Jeannie Maxwell’s crazy ass was capable of.

“I don’t know where Holland is, but the good thing is I don’t think she went home to Jersey,” Adam said, providing me only a hint of relief. “My dad said she hasn’t been by the house, but he also said my mom’s been gone all day and he doesn’t know where she went. And Holland’s phone has been off since the morning, so it’s been… fucking stressful,” Adam said, heaving another sigh. And just as I opened my mouth to ask why he didn’t call me, he said it himself. “I wanted to call you, but when I told her I was going to have you check in, she was… really fucking adamant against that idea. Made me promise not to contact you,” he said, managing a breath of laughter despite the anxiety still thick his voice. “I think because she felt like I was babying her.”

No.

More because I last-minute fucking canceled on her right as all this shit was going down.

Fuck.

“And you have no idea where she went?” I asked, gritting my teeth. “Where was she when you talked to her?”

“She was leaving her office when I talked to her around noon your time. I don’t know where she went though. I told her just to stay away from her apartment and get drunk till her roommate was out of work.”

I closed my eyes. Goddammit, Adam.

I inhaled deep as I thought about all the levels on which that was horrible fucking advice for Holland. She was already upset. She was probably alone. Her roommate was working so if she was out getting shitfaced, she was definitely not with anyone she knew very well.

Unless she was at her roommate’s bar.

Fuck, let her be there,I prayed, because even if she was completely trashed at that bar, it was a better place for her to be than alone with her batshit insane fucking mother.

“Look, I gotta go,” I said, barely waiting for Adam to respond before I hung up the phone, my heart hammering in my chest as I told my driver to turn the car around.