Still Jaded by Tijan

CHAPTER TWENTY

It wasn't long before my phone started lighting up. Either Corrigan told someone that I was back, or Hoodum leaked it to his guys who said something at a bar. It didn't matter. I knewword would get out eventually. I was surprised that more people hadn't called and asked where I was, but then I realized that someone must've said I was out of town and not to be bothered. Even Grace hadn't called, but considering our last exchange, I shouldn't have been surprised.

When the bell at the gate sounded, Leah was the last person that I would've expected. I pressed the 'talk' button. "Are you looking for Corrigan?"

"I'm looking for you. Corrigan showed up at the house, so I figured you'd be back. Can I come in?" She looked nervous.

I hit the access button and noted where Hoodum said the panic buttons were. There was one underneath every table and counter. He was right. They were placed all over my house, but I didn't think Leah was someone I needed to fear. When she got to the front door, I opened it and stepped back as she came in. She ran a hand through her wet hair and grinned ruefully. "Sorry. It was raining when I came over. Did you notice? It stopped a little bit ago, but it was downpour for a few minutes. Stupid me got caught in it."

I watched her for another minute and then asked, "What are you doing here?"

Leah's eyebrows shot up as she raked her fingers through her hair. She tried to straighten it. "I don't have an agenda if that's what you mean. I came over because the last time I was here you mentioned getting back at Cadence. Are you changing your mind?"

Oh. Right. Cadence.

I grinned. "I'd forgotten all about her. Sorry. Yes, I'm still planning on getting her back."

She narrowed her eyes. "Are you sure you're okay? I know we're not best friends, but…I know when someone's got something on their mind. I might be a bit of a whore, but I can be a good sounding board. Promise."

"You said it. Not me." Then I bit my lip and regretted my words instantly. "Sorry."

She shrugged. "It's true. You first met me when I was naked in a roomful of guys. I understand it. Hell, I am it. Or I was. I've been thinking a lot since you've been gone. I'm going to stop sleeping around. It's wrong. It…" She looked away as she hesitated.

I was detached from myself when I murmured, "It cheapens you. You can't force someone to respect you. You can't take it from them. You have to earn it to receive it, and I know that you only want their respect. You don't want them tojustaccept you. They accept dogs. Screwing them won't make them respect you. It'll make them look down on you. If you're lucky, you might get a treat afterwards. You're more than a pet."

She sucked in her breath and closed her eyes.

I knew my words stung, but they were true. People might've wanted to call me a whore, but I wasn't. I slept with two men in my life, and I loved one of them. No one would ever consider me his dog. "I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm…hell. I'm always this bitchy. If you can't handle the truth, or what I see as the truth, you might not want to hang out with me. I'm starting to realize that only strong people can handle me, or people with thick skin."

Leah shook her head and wiped a tear away. She tried to smile. "No. No. It's…you're right. It's just hard to hear when it's put like that. I'm…I care about those guys. I really do, but you're right. I just… How do you get people to respect you?"

"You fight for it." It was plain as day for me. No one respected someone who accepted less than the truth. "If people treat you like shit, you treat them like shit right back. They won't like it, but they'll respect it. It's a lonely road." Although, truth be told, I enjoyed being alone. Life was much clearer.

My gate buzzed again, and I cursed. "When did this become a social gathering?" Then I remembered it could be Corrigan and relaxed, but it wasn't him. I rolled my eyes when I saw who it was. As soon their feet hit the patio, I swung open the door and plastered a fake smile on. Grace faltered in her steps, but Cadence puffed up even more. She moved to hug me and gushed, "You poor thing! You've been through so much."

I stood stiff in her embrace, but it didn't deter her. She gestured towards the pans that Grace held. "The girls wanted to bring you a little something to help. We know you tend to forget to eat sometimes, that's what Corrigan mentioned, so we brought ready-made meals. I hope they help!" She plopped them in my arms and sauntered through the door. Grace held back and studied me for a moment. Her eyes were fearful, but there was something else in there. Maybe remorse? Remorse for what?

I asked, "What are you doing here?"

Grace looked down. "We came to see how you were. I heard you were back in town."

"Did Corrigan call you?"

She shook her head and tucked a strand of hair behind her hair. She always did that when she was nervous. "One of the fraternity guys is dating Sofia, one of our sisters. He said Corrigan was back so we figured you were back."

"No, Grace. What areyoudoing here?" I stepped closer. I wanted to see her eyes.

She glanced away. "You're my friend."

"No, I'm not." I grabbed her chin and turned it to me. I was forceful when I said, "We are not friends. I no longer trust you. You're one of them and they want to screw with me. So now you want to screw with me. You know what I do to people like that, right? You should remember from high school."

She paled, but she never argued. That damned her so much.

"This is your only warning. As soon as I march in there, all bets are off. Cadence doesn't know what she unleashed when she played with me. And I am pissed off right now. I am hurting, and I am furious. My perfect target just waltzed in here. I cared about you. I really did. I was the best friend that you'll ever have, but you gave it up. You threw me away because you don't know who to trust or who to turn to. You turned to the wrong people."

Grace didn't say anything. Then she turned her gaze and a tear fell from her eye. "You're probably right. I know that, and I'm still… I don't know what to do, Sheldon. I don't…"

"You're not strong enough to be my friend."

That was the truth. I should've seen it before, but I had thought she was strong. Hell, shehadbeen. It's why we became friends, because she was strong in a different way, but now that old Grace was gone. The second the sorority sisters drew her in was the second I lost her.

When I walked into the kitchen to find Cadence and Leah, their body posture told me everything. Cadence held her shoulders back as if she was ready to attack. Leah was hunched over, but her chin was straight and lifted upwards. Shewasbeing attacked, but she'd fight back when the time came. I met her eyes for a brief second, and mine narrowed. I knew I was probably broadcasting my intent, but I didn't care. Cadence wasn't the 'somebody' she thought she was in her mind. She was just one more in a long line of nobodies. So I grinned. "What brought you to my doorstep?"

Leah straightened. She was a smart girl.

Grace followed me and coughed behind my back.

Cadence flashed a blinding smile. "Well, we heard you were home. Plus, I heard about…Bryce…you know. I thought you'd want some girlfriends around. I know you don't have that many."

Grace sucked in her breath.

Leah covered up her laughter.

I narrowed my eyes and stalked forward a step. "You wanted to be my friend? Is that it?"

Cadence beamed.

She was stupid.

"Do you know what I do to my girlfriends? Do you know the reason why I don't have any?"

Her smile faltered.

"I tell them the truth. Like you. You think you're better than everyone else. You think because you're the head of a sorority that you're going places. You think that you can spot the best guys and nail them, don't you?"

She tilted her chin up, taking a cocky stance.

"You know what they think of you? They see you, and their first thought is that you're work. You're high maintenance and you're bitchy. I don't know of a normal guy that'd want to be with you. You're pretty, but so is everyone else. They'll screw you. They'll have no problem screwing you, but getting them to love you? That's a whole other mission not possible. You're going to have to blackmail someone to love you or you're going to have to hide who you are. That's a lot of work, but hell, I think you could do it. You're fake to everyone else, even yourself. Lying so someone would love you, that wouldn't even work up a sweat for you, would it? It's like morning pilates."

"Sheldon," Grace jolted forward. Her hand trembled.

My eyes narrowed. "Want me to go on?"

Cadence lifted her jaw and squared her shoulders. "We had a deal. Are you forgetting that deal?"

I gestured towards Grace and sneered. "She's already in. You got her. You can't undo that one, but I'd love it if you did." I looked Grace in the eyes but spoke to Cadence. "That way she'd see that I'm right. Only someone using her would cast her out, not a real sister. That's what she thinks you are. We know better."

Leah gasped but coughed over it.

Grace's eyes widened. "Sheldon? Cadence?"

"Go ahead. Tell her."

Cadence's eyes were strained, but she sighed. "Nothing, Grace. She's not talking about anything. I… I was mistaken."

"Yeah. You were," I ground out. "You were mistaken thinking that you should come over here. You're not welcome. Ever."

Cadence watched me for a moment and then asked, "Do you really want to do this? I don't think you want my house as an enemy. We can be quite…unfriendly."

I snorted. "Are you kidding me? Someone tried to kill me a few years ago. You think a sorority house is going to scare me? Someone's still trying to hurt me. I like fighting, Cadence. When are you going to get that in your head? I like pissing people off. I like not having friends except the few I trust. Your idea of hell is my heaven."

"She's right. I've known her a month, and I know that much about her," Leah interjected.

"You shouldn't throw stones, Sheldon. None of my breakups have made the nightly news," Cadence taunted. "I'm sure the paparazzi would love an in-depth piece on Bryce Scout's girlfriend of how many years? How many years were you actually together or did you just screw each other? That's the rumor I heard."

I felt a knife in my chest, but I jerked forward again. My eyes were strained, but I knew they were deadly. The bitch was going down. "You might seem perfect on the outside, but I've seen your closet. There's something wrong with you. I know it. I might not be able to figure it out right now, but I know there's something wrong with you."

She went white around the mouth and her whole body quaked.

My smile broadened. "Have I touched a button? Are you not proud of what you hide with your dirty laundry?"

"Shut up," she hissed.

I could've kept going. I thought about gutting her but restrained myself. It could wait for the next time. There was going to be a next time. Cadence was a snake. She'd keep striking back until I cut off her head.

"I loved Bryce. I still love Bryce. He loves me. You aren't privy to the details about why and how we broke up, but you need to know one thing. Bryce will always be a part of my family. Always. There is no way you will get your claws in him."

Her eyes were wild, so I knew I'd hit where I wanted to. I stepped back and watched as Cadence looked around as if to gain some sense of control. When she couldn't, I knew she'd slither away. When she saw Leah's face, full of contempt, she stalked out of the room.

Grace ran after her. Both of them darted out of the house and left the front door hanging open. As I went to shut it, I hit the gate button and closed it behind their car.

Good riddance.

One more friend gone from my life.

When I returned to the kitchen, Leah had poured two glasses of scotch. She turned and lifted one in the air. "To you. You just opened a shit storm."

I took mine and raised it to her. "Wanna help?"

Leah's eyes sparked. I saw something start to unfold in her, maybe strength. I wasn't sure. I wondered if she'd hold next to me or if she'd turn at the first bribe she got. I was getting tired of weak friends.

"Sheldon!" Corrigan yelled.

Hell. I was yanked from my thoughts. Hadn't I closed the gate? But he turned the corner and came into the kitchen. He looked happy, which made me pause for a moment. I realized that he hadn't been happy for a long time, maybe too long. Why now?

"Hey, Leah." He nodded in greeting and then picked me up the air. He twirled me around as he hugged me tight and then set me back down.

"What was that for?"

"Nothing. I'm hungry. I'm going to order a pizza." His eyes sparkled, and he winked before he left.

Leah frowned and jerked a thumb in Corrigan's direction. "What's with him? I've never seen him like that."

I watched where he had disappeared for a moment before I answered, "I have, a couple times."

They hadn't had much significance for me, but I remembered wrestling with him when we went to the mall one day in high school. That was a day that I'd forgotten how childlike Corrigan's sense of humor could be and how potent it was at times. The second time I remembered was at the end of our senior year in high school. I'd returned from my last session with Miss Connors, and Corrigan was at his locker with Logan, his girlfriend at the time.

Everything had been perfect that day. I was with Bryce. We were going to Spain. Corrigan was coming too, and even Grace had been included in our circle of friends.

I had thought everything was perfect.

When he came back in, Corrigan waved his cell phone in the air. "Left the number in my car. I ordered pepperoni. Sorry ladies, it's the buyer's choice."

Leah laughed.

I didn't say anything, and then my eyes met Corrigan's. I was starting to realize that a lot had changed, but how much more was going to change? Was he going to change too?