Not Pretending Anymore by Vi Keeland
CHAPTER 17
Molly
“So what’s going on in the adventures of Molly these days?” Emma twirled her fork in a container filled with spaghetti and shoveled it into her mouth.
“Not much. The usual. I’m supposed to go out with Will Friday night, and last night Declan and I admitted that if there were no Will for me or Julia for him, we’d be banging all over the apartment.”
Emma’s eyes bulged, and she started to cough. “Oh my God. You just made pasta go down the wrong pipe.” Her eyes watered as she reached for her bottle of water.
I chuckled. “Sorry, but you asked.”
Since we worked the same shift in different departments, we sometimes managed to schedule our dinner break together. If it hadn’t worked out for us tonight, I probably would’ve asked her to go for coffee after our shifts ended, because I needed to talk to someone.
“Last week you said you were attracted to him, but he had no idea how you felt.”
I sighed. “Yeah, I was wrong.”
Emma shook her head. “So the feeling is mutual?”
“Apparently…”
“And you guys talked about this, but nothing physical happened?”
I nodded. “We’re taking a few days to think about things.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I have no damn idea.”
“Well, you’ve been head over heels for Will for years.”
“I know I have. And honestly, if it weren’t for Declan, I’d probably be super excited about where things are going with Will and me. At first he said he wanted to keep things casual, but he’s since told me he could see things progressing with us, and that someday he wants a wife and kids and stuff.”
“Isn’t that exactly what you want? A guy you’re crazy about who’s looking to settle down with the right woman?”
“It is, but…” I shook my head. “I don’t know. I’m confused.”
“Well, let’s look at the pros and cons of each relationship. Tell me what you like about Will.”
“We have a lot in common. He’s an obstetrician, and I’m a labor and delivery nurse. He’s handsome and levelheaded. I love the way he’s always so good under pressure, and how much passion he has for his work. He’s smart, yet he never tries to show off, like a lot of other doctors do.”
“Okay. That all sounds awesome. Now tell me the cons.”
I couldn’t think of much. “If we were to go into a serious relationship and then split up, it might be awkward at work.”
“That’s fair. What about Declan? Tell me what you like about him.”
“I like how thoughtful he is. When I first found out about my dad’s illness, Declan had just moved in. Yet he always asked how Dad was and made sure he was around when he thought I might be upset and needed to talk. He just seems to know when I need support, and he makes himself available and never makes me feel like it’s a burden. He’s very funny and makes me laugh all the time, and…” I pointed to the eggplant rollatini I had in front of me. “He’s also a great cook. And, of course, let’s not forget that he’s ridiculously hot.”
“And what about the cons?”
Unlike Will, there were some glaring cons related to Declan. “Well, for starters, he lives two-thousand miles away in California. He also travels all the time for his job, and he travels with Julia—the woman he’s currently fooling around with that he’s been pining over for almost as long as I’ve been dreaming of a relationship with Will. We don’t have that much in common—he’s kind of a leave the clean dishes in the dishwasher because you’re just gonna use them anyway kind of person, whereas I like things put where they belong.”
Emma nodded. “Well, they both have a lot of pros, but Declan has a lot more cons. And one of them seems pretty major—he lives in California, Molly. How much longer is he even here?”
I frowned. “A little over four months.”
“Is that where his family lives? Where his job will be when his work here is done?”
I nodded. “He has four sisters and both his parents there, plus nieces and nephews. Chicago was just a temporary assignment. He’s hoping to get promoted once he goes back to the corporate office in California.”
“So, say you pick Declan. What happens when his time here is up? Does he uproot his life and move here? Or do you leave your mom and sister and your sick dad?”
I sighed. Neither sounded ideal. Not to mention, we hadn’t even kissed. So thinking about any of this was putting the cart long before the horse. “I know what you’re saying.” The choice should’ve been simple. Yet it wasn’t.
“Do you want to know what I think?”
I had a feeling I already did. But I nodded anyway.
“If you pick Declan, you’re going to wind up very hurt in four months. And you’re going to be kicking yourself in the ass over the one who got away.”
After dinner, Emma and I both went back to work, but I couldn’t stop thinking about our conversation. Making a list of pros and cons was right up my alley—a way of organizing my thoughts to make the right decision. So later, when things were quiet on the floor, I took out a notepad and again listed all the pluses and minuses for each man. Declan’s were pretty much the same as I’d rattled off to my friend. But when I listed Will’s cons again, I realized I’d failed to admit the biggest obstacle currently standing in my way.
He’s not Declan.
***
That Friday night, Will and I were in the back of a cab, on the way to our date.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
With a glimmer in his eye, he placed his hand on my knee. “It’s a surprise.”
“Well, now I’m intrigued.”
A half hour later, Will took me up to an exclusive rooftop restaurant—except there were no other people. There was just one table amidst a gorgeous setup of lanterns and little white lights around the space.
“Will, what did you do?”
He held out his hands. “It’s all ours for the night.”
My mouth hung open. “How did you manage this?”
“Let’s just say the owner has felt like he owed me one since I delivered his breech daughter.”
“Wow. Who was that?”
“Richard Steinberg—he owns Steinberg Financial and this restaurant. That delivery was actually a couple of years ago, and I never thought to take him up on it until I met someone special enough to bring here. The rooftop is reserved for private parties. And this is ours.”
My heart fluttered. “Wow. I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything, beautiful. Let’s just enjoy tonight.”
I beamed as we settled into our seats at the candlelit table.
After our waiter came by with waters, Will unfolded his napkin and placed it on his lap. “How’s your father doing?”
I frowned. “He could be better. I’ve been keeping tabs on him every day. Right now, he’s stable. But it’s mentally hard on him. As a fellow physician, I’m sure you can understand. He’s always felt like his job is to take care of other people, and now that he’s unable to do that—unable to even take care of himself—you can imagine how tough it is.”
Will closed his eyes momentarily and shook his head. “I absolutely can, Molly, and you know, it’s very important that everyone rally around him right now. Distraction from his own mind is probably the best medicine. The last thing he should be feeling is inadequate. He needs all the strength he can get.”
“I agree.”
Will reached across the table to take my hand. “If there’s anything I can do for him, please let me know. If you’re not getting the answers you need, I know a lot of people.”
“Thank you, Will. I appreciate that more than you know.”
A short time later, the waiter brought the most delectable seafood I’d ever smelled to our table: king crab legs and lobster that had been taken out of the shell. From previous conversations, Will knew I loved seafood, so he must have preplanned the menu, considering we hadn’t even ordered.
“This is the most romantic dinner I’ve ever had,” I told him as we dug in. “I can’t thank you enough.”
His response was pretty abrupt. “Are you still seeing Declan?”
Well, don’t beat around the bush.I had to make a split-second decision, and what felt best was relieving myself of the lie I’d created. “No. Actually, I’m not.”
He exhaled. “That’s the answer I was hoping for.”
“Really?” I broke open a crab leg.
“Yes. Seeing you with him at the hospital got to me in a way I didn’t expect. It made me wonder why the hell I was wasting time and not telling you how I really feel.”
I put down my crab and wiped my mouth. “Well, this is good timing, because I’ve been needing some guidance when it comes to me and you.”
He came right out with it. “I don’t want to just date you anymore, Molly. I want to be exclusive.”
Oh. Wow. “Where is this coming from all of a sudden?”
“It’s not that sudden. I’ve had feelings for you for quite some time, long before we started seeing each other. I’ve realized my fears about commitment were entirely about me not having found the right person. The more time I spend with you, the more I’m certain I don’t want to share you.”
After taking a long sip of water, I said, “I have to admit, I’m surprised this is what you want so soon.”
“I get that. I told you early on that I didn’t want anything serious—”
“Right. I guess I’m still not quite sure about your change of heart.”
He nodded. “There’s nothing like the threat of losing someone to push your heart in the right direction. If it’s not this Declan guy, it will be someone else. I know a good thing when I see it. You deserve to be cherished. I want to be that man. I don’t want you to have any hesitation about being with me because you think I’m interested in dating other people. I’m not. I’m only interested in you.” He paused. “Will you be with me exclusively?”
Needing a moment, I looked up at the gorgeous lanterns hanging above us. This was something I’d been waiting for, yet I wanted time to process before committing to him.
“This is a lot to take in. I really like you, Will. I think we have a lot in common, and I’m very attracted to you. I’m just a little surprised.”
“I understand.”
“I know this is probably not the answer you were hoping for, but can I have a little time to mull it over?”
“Of course. I’ve had several days to think about it, so it’s only fair that you should have the same.”
