Fated By Starlight by Krista Street

Chapter 16

~ WYATT ~

I lay in bed, thinking about last night as the bright sun rose in the east. Light spilled into my room as scents of day and dew flowed in through my cracked window.

I still couldn’t believe that last night had actually happened. Not only had I followed Avery to that bar downtown, but I’d taken her home, stayed with her in her apartment, then we’d wandered outside to lie under the stars before I’d kissed her, touched her, and nearly fucked her.

It had quite possibly been the most incredible eight hours of my life.

It had also been the most reckless and irresponsible.

An image of leaving her, haphazardly dressed in the field with the scent of sex in the air, flashed through my mind. That was how I’d ended last night with her, by running away like a sleazy douchebag.

What the fuck are you doing, Jamison?

I’d already pushed the boundaries of SF protocol. Following her. Spending time alone with her. Kissing her, touching her, finger fucking her . . .

Shit.

Just the memory made my cock ache, but none of my behavior was acceptable in the eyes of the Supernatural Forces. I was her commander. She was my subordinate. By that very definition, I was in a position of power over her. Because of that power play, the SF strictly forbade any relationships between those in varying rank.

Now if Avery were a permanent SF member who wasn’t under my command, that was a different story . . .

But she wasn’t.

Which only meant that I’d thoroughly messed up.

I tore a hand through my hair and banged my head against my pillow. My cock stayed rigid despite knowing I couldn’t have her. I couldn’t even blame alcohol on my behavior. Human beer was rarely enough to get me drunk. I’d been completely sober the entire time I’d been in Avery’s company.

But she hadn’t been.

And that only made my behavior worse.

“Fucking A.” I grumbled and pushed the covers off me before swinging my legs over the side of my bed.

The movement made the air flutter, which disturbed the scent clinging to my shirt. I inhaled. Avery’s natural lilac fragrance still permeated the fabric.

I brought my shirt collar to my nose and sniffed again. Damn. She smells so good.

My cock grew harder, pressing prominently against my boxers. I knew I should strip my clothes, shower, and get up for the day.

But I didn’t want to.

Despite knowing none of this could go anywhere, I wanted to stay in bed clouded in her scent while fantasizing about her going down on me.

“Fuck it.”

I leaned back and pushed my boxers down. An image of Avery’s thin waist, round hips, and bare breasts filled my mind. Gods, she was perfect.

I stroked my length while picturing Avery’s mouth closing around my tip. Her tongue had been absolute magic. A shudder of lust shot through me. Jacking off wouldn’t erase this tension inside me, but it might ease it.

Shit, I’ve got it bad.

Inside me, my wolf rumbled his contentment, then whined in eagerness that my thoughts about Avery were also aligning with his. He’d made it very clear on multiple occasions last night that he fully supported everything and anything that had to do with Avery Meyers, even if that meant breaking SF protocol and getting me fired.

He’d even wanted me to claim her. On our first date, if it could even be called a date.

A memory of my canines grazing her skin filled my mind. Fuck, but it had been hard to stop that instinct. I’d wanted to bite into her neck, and infuse my magic with hers, marking her forever as mine, which wasn’t good, because my wolf didn’t care about my promise to Marcus.

He didn’t care about honor and code.

All he cared about was Avery.

But I couldn’t think about what that meant.

So I pumped more, an orgasm already building. Just the thought of her did that to me. I sniffed my shirt again, my balls tightening, then stroked my cock faster.

I pictured her eyes, her laugh, the sultry curve of her lips.

Her legs, her soft tits, the roundness of her ass.

The sound of her voice, the fire in her eyes, and then her lust-filled look as she lay back with her legs spread open and wet, begging for me to slip my dick inside her as I leaned down to lick—

Oh fuck . . .

An orgasm exploded through my body, my seed shooting from me so hard that it splattered all over the sheets.

I breathed heavily, my chest heaving. My mind was so completely and totally consumed with Avery that everything else went blank.

For a moment, I couldn’t move.

And that’s not even the real thing.

I groaned in agony. I was like a horny teenager all over again. I grabbed a tissue to mop the mess up, shaking my head at what I was allowing myself to feel.

But my wolf didn’t care. He whined again inside me. His eagerness only grew.

In high school, he’d also shown interest in Avery, but we’d both been young then—me an adolescent and him still a pup. Neither of us had truly understood our emotions as we worked together to co-exist.

But we’d both been infatuated with Avery, even then, although now our feelings weren’t mere infatuation. Our mindsets were clear and any earlier youthful inexperience had faded.

Which only made this harder since we both wanted Avery.

“So this is how it is now?” I asked him as I cleaned the sheets. “I get fired from the SF for rutting with a new recruit? And then what? We follow her to Geneva to sit at home while she begins her new job? And what about Marcus? What about the promise I need to keep to him?”

But my wolf only whined again. According to him, following Avery to Geneva was the best idea I’d ever come up with.

I shook my head, irritated by his irrationality. While I knew Avery wanted me, that didn’t mean she wanted to be with me. There was a big difference. I knew she’d sleep with me if the opportunity arose, but to be in an actual relationship?

I had no idea if she wanted that, and there was no way I was putting her in a position in which she needed to choose. Because the only way a relationship between the two of us was even possible was if she never went to Geneva.

I had to stay here for at least two more years. Because of my promise, I couldn’t leave.

Which meant Avery would have to give up her dream.

I growled.

Hell no.

That wasn’t happening.

She’d worked too hard at school and wanted to join the Institute too desperately for me to mess it up by getting her tangled in a relationship that would damn any chance she had of being an ambassador.

My wolf whined, anxious over the veer my thoughts had taken.

He wasn’t capable of speech, but our emotions and thought processes were so in-tune that I knew what he was trying to say.

Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

I laughed humorlessly at his cliché. “If only it were that easy, but it’s not. Have you forgotten that I can’t risk getting fired? I made a commitment. Does that mean nothing to you?”

He just snarled.

My tablet buzzed and its glow lit up the pocket in my cargo pants that I’d tossed to the side last night. I grabbed the waistband and pulled it out. My movements stopped.

A message waited on my tablet.

From my boss.

Report to my office at 1000 today.

“Fuck.” Abruptly, I started pacing, staring at Wes’s order. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

This wasn’t good. It was Sunday. Wes didn’t hold meetings in his office on Sundays unless it was serious, and considering I was the only one tagged on the message . . .

It was a private meeting.

I plunged a hand through my hair and glanced at the clock. It was already 9:30. I usually never slept this late, but considering I didn’t go to bed until four in the morning, I wasn’t surprised that I’d slept in.

I tore my shirt off and hurried to the shower to wash and shave. If I showed up at my superior’s office with Avery’s scent clinging to me . . .

“Shit!” I exclaimed before ripping the shower curtain open.

∞     ∞     ∞

I arrived at Wes’s office within the main building at precisely ten. Damp hair brushed my ears, but the only scent that clung to me now was that of laundry detergent and aftershave.

After pressing my palm against the magical scanner by Wes’s door, the familiar robotic voice stated, “Welcome, Wyatt Jamison. Please proceed.”

The door clicked open, and I stepped inside.

Wes stood by the far wall, overlooking the Idaho foothills through the floor-to-ceiling windows. His office was huge, holding all of the magical holographic equipment that could be found in the main command center.

But today, none of those holographs lit up.

That didn’t bode well. I’d been hoping this meeting was in regards to an upcoming assignment, but if that were the case, the magical tracking system would be running.

“Major Jamison,” Wes said without turning toward me. “Have a seat.”

While I’d never been one to fidget, the coolness of his tone immediately put me on edge. I did as he said, even though my wolf’s hackles rose at the command. It was the hardest thing about being in the SF. As an alpha by birthright, it was instinctual to be the one commanding, not the one being commanded. But learning to submit had been good for me and my wolf.

It’d taught us discipline.

At least it had until Avery Meyers blew back into our lives.

Wes stayed at the window, his hands clasped behind his back. “I read the report yesterday about your new recruit’s fall into the river. It was an oversight that shouldn’t have happened.”

Relief made my shoulders slump. So that was what this meeting was about. “Yes, sir, you’re right. I take full—”

“And I also read the pilot’s report that noted your territorial behavior regarding your other recruit, Avery Meyers.”

I clamped my mouth shut.

Wes swung around, his face cold. “And then I heard other rumblings about you stalking her to a bar last night, only to return an hour later alone with her. So I checked the surveillance footage, and from what I can gather, the two of you went to her apartment, and you didn’t report back to your own living barracks until eight hours later.” He took an ominous step toward me and placed his hands flat on his desk. “Do you care to fill me in on what happened during those eight hours, Major Jamison?”

“Sir, I know it looks bad—”

“It doesn’t just look bad, Major,” he barked. “It looks like a fucking breach of protocol in which firing you is my only option!”

My breath stopped. Shit. I’d known this could happen, and now it was. Fuck! I took a deep breath as my wolf snarled inside me. Okay, Jamison. Stay calm. Keep it together.

I took another breath before replying evenly, “You’re right, sir. It was a breach of protocol, and I’m sorry. I can also assure you it won’t happen again.”

“Did you sleep with her?”

“No.”

“But you did other things?”

I grimaced as shame washed through me. “Yes.”

Wes raised an eyebrow. “A week ago, I would have sworn on my life that nothing like this could happen with you in charge.” Anger still simmered from him, but after a moment, he took a deep breath and sat down on his chair before sighing heavily. “Wyatt, what’s going on? This is highly irregular for you.”

I hung my head. I sat like that for a moment, trying to process what had changed in me since Avery arrived at headquarters. “Sir, I’m sorry. I didn’t think this would happen, but I made a few bad judgment calls yesterday. It was wrong, and you have every right to fire me, and I would completely understand if you did.” My stomach clenched at the thought. I couldn’t be fired from the SF. Couldn’t.

I waited for Wes to reply, but silence reigned.

Every muscle in my body tensed, anticipating the final blow that would seal my fate and be a one-way ticket out of the SF.

I’m sorry, Marcus. I’m so goddamned sorry.

But Wes said, “Major, you’ve been a loyal and trustworthy commander in this organization for seven years. I’d rather you explained to me what’s going on.”

My head snapped up.

Wes’s brow furrowed while my wolf continued to pace and growl, but despite my wolf’s irritation at where my thoughts were going, I knew it was the only way as gut-wrenching as that was.

My attraction to Avery had to stop. I had to keep my promise.

Pain exploded in my chest, rushing through me in fiery rivers. But it was the only way.

My mouth went dry. You have to do this.

Forcing the words out, I said, “It was a lapse in judgment, sir. It won’t happen again.”

Wes leveled his icy blue eyes on me. “I believe I asked you to explain.”

“It’s not really something I can explain, sir, because I don’t fully understand it myself.”

Wes cocked his head. “It’s your wolf, isn’t it?”

I leaned forward, placing my elbows on my knees. I might as well be honest. After this meeting, any relationship in the foreseeable future with Avery wasn’t happening. “Possibly. He’s quite enamored with her.”

“And are you as well? Or is this interest solely from your wolf?”

I worked my jaw but knew that I couldn’t lie—not to Wes. “It’s me as well, sir, but that doesn’t mean I can’t stop it.”

Wes leaned back in his chair. “You say that, but if it’s your wolf and you . . .” He sighed again. “Well, that certainly complicates things.”

Since Wes was also a werewolf, he understood just how persuasive one’s wolf could be. However, Wes was already mated and had been for the past seventy-five years. I didn’t know if he remembered what it was like when he met his mate—the obsession, the infatuation, and the rage-inducing jealousy whenever another male glanced in her direction.

My eyes popped. Holy shit. There’s that word again. I’m now accepting that Avery could be my mate? But I couldn’t make her my mate. Not now.

What I promised Marcus would keep me in Idaho for the next two years, but after that, maybe then I could court her. Mate her. Claim her.

But even knowing that I could pursue her in the future didn’t stop the regret that bit me hard. “Despite my wolf’s and my interest, I won’t let it progress, sir. You have my word.”

Wes eyed me skeptically. “As much as I believe you intend to follow through with that, I’m not sure if you’ll be able to, not if you and your wolf want her.”

Think of Marcus. Think of Marcus. “Sir, I can and will do this.”

Wes’s eyebrows rose. “What makes you so sure of that?”

Because I owe Marcus my life. I cleared my throat and replied, “This wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to learn to control my urges and instincts. I’ve done it before, and I can do it again.”

“But do you believe she’s your mate? Your true mate?”

His loaded question had my jaw tightening. No, I couldn’t think about that. I couldn’t even allow myself to imagine Avery as my mate because if I did . . .

Even my promise to Marcus might not be enough to keep me here.

I took another deep breath before saying, “I don’t know, sir. I’m not sure what it feels like to know that a woman is your mate since I’ve never been mated.”

“So you don’t have an innate need to protect her? You don’t feel jealous every time another man captures her attention? You don’t feel the urge to claim her?”

I imagined my canines elongating and biting into the smooth, pale skin on Avery’s neck. My mouth watered at the thought, my wolf wagged his tail in excitement, and an intense feeling of satisfaction followed. Mine.

Shit. He was right. I’d come so close to claiming her last night.

“Major Jamison? I need you to answer those questions honestly.”

My hands shook at the territorial reaction that again stole over me. My chest rose unsteadily as my breaths quickened. No. That did not just happen. I can and will fight this.

But I felt all of those things for Avery and more. But I couldn’t tell Wes that I wanted to claim my new recruit. If I did, he would move her to a different commander’s group. Having to reject my feelings for her was bad enough, but the thought of another man taking over her training, working with her every day, and being in charge of her safety . . .

My wolf snarled.

Yeah, that wasn’t an option. I didn’t know if I would be able to control myself if that happened. Then I would definitely be fired.

Meeting Wes’s gaze again, I said, “Sir, I do feel things for her, I won’t lie to you about that, but she’s not my mate. I can control myself.” I held eye contact. I didn’t exactly lie. She wasn’t my mate . . . yet.

But she could be.

I held my breath, wondering if he’d detect the white lie.

Wes stared at me for a long time, his eyes clear and steady. I knew I should dip my chin and show submission, but I didn’t. I wouldn’t.

I wasn’t going to back down from this. Not if it meant someone else would be responsible for Avery’s training and, ultimately, her safety. That wasn’t something I would risk.

Wes finally broke eye contact and sighed. “All right, Major. I’ll give you one more chance to prove that you can act as a respectful and responsible commander, but if I see any signs or hear any further rumblings about you or your wolf showing possessive behavior around Private Meyers, she’ll be reassigned. Understood, Major?”

“Yes, sir.” I stood and saluted him, but my hand still shook.

He dismissed me, and I headed into the hall.

Once outside, the mid-morning sun shone down on the surrounding fields. My shoulders slumped. More than anything I wanted to go to Avery’s apartment, wake her up with a morning kiss, perhaps bring her breakfast in bed.

But that was a dream for a life I didn’t lead.

I had responsibilities here. I had a promise to keep. And Avery had her entire life ahead of her. In a few short months, she would be off to Geneva.

And I would be here.

That ache formed in my chest again, and inside me, my wolf cried a long, lonely howl.

I thought again about last night. About the way Avery had looked at me. About how she’d felt in my arms. I knew she had strong feelings for me.

But strong enough that she would give up her career?

Because that was the only way we could be together in the near future.

The thought was so tempting. I could ask her to.

Right now, I could go to her apartment and tell her what had happened. I could be one hundred percent honest and explain to her the situation I was in—I couldn’t be with her now because of SF protocol. I needed to keep my job to fulfill a commitment, but in three months when her training was done, I could be with her then.

My stomach sank.

But what position did that put her in? What kind of pressure would that force on her?

I would be asking her to give up her dream job. She couldn’t stay here with me and still work in Geneva.

Hell, she wouldn’t even need to stay in the new recruit program because the only reason she was in it was to join the Supernatural Ambassador Institute in the first place.

Fuck, Wyatt. Why don’t you just stomp on her dreams while you’re at it?

I grumbled, but then had another thought. What if we do long distance?

I scowled. For two years? I knew I would wait that long. I would wait a lifetime for her if needed, but could she? That was asking a lot of her.

But as soon as my heart filled possessively at the thought of keeping her here and making her mine, so did the reality that I couldn’t ask that of her.

What kind of relationship started in which you couldn’t be together at all? Because of SF protocol, any romantic communication or interaction was forbidden for the next three months. I’d already fucked up last night. One more mistake, and I was out. So, what would we do, just stare at each other longingly for the next three months and never talk?

And then what would happen when her three months were up? She would be shipped off to Geneva with the stress of a new job only to Skype with me in her free time. Never mind the time difference. That would be a disaster.

What the hell kind of relationship was that? And what kind of expectation would that put on her?

I growled and wanted to slam my fist into a tree. I couldn’t ask that of her. Only a selfish bastard would do that.

I hung my head. Timing. Fucking timing. If only I had met her again two years in the future and not now.

I couldn’t be with her now, no matter how much I wanted it. But I could keep her safe. I could prepare her for anything that might come her way in her new job as an ambassador. And one day, in a couple of years, I could find her again, and then . . .

My wolf whined.

If the Gods were with me, and if she was willing, maybe then I could make her mine.

I shoved my hands into my pockets and began to plan as the sun blazed overhead. I knew that I couldn’t personally conduct Avery’s self-defense training—touching her would be torture. I damn well knew I wouldn’t be able to control myself if that happened, and then Wes would be firing me in a heartbeat.

But I was still in charge of her training, therefore, I could pick the best candidate to fulfill that job. And I already knew who I would choose.

Dee wouldn’t be happy about it since she had leave coming up for an extended vacation, but she owed me. She owed me almost as much as I owed Marcus.

I was calling in that chip.

I reached the barracks and scanned myself in. I trudged up the stairs as my thoughts whirled.

Because even knowing that Avery would ultimately still be training under me didn’t ring victorious.

As I stepped into my hallway, I waited to feel elation or a sense of accomplishment that I’d made the right choice. I thought for certain that I would have felt relief, if nothing else, that my job was still intact, that I could still fulfill my promise to Marcus, that I was still allowed to train Avery, and that I would be thoroughly preparing her for her job to come.

But all I felt was a deep aching pain in my chest.

It made me want to howl, to shed my skin until my wolf emerged, and to run until blood bled from our paws.

I closed my eyes, remembering Avery as she spoke animatedly about the stars, the sky, and her dreams for the future last night. Her image burned my mind—the curve of her lips, the glossiness of her hair, and the infectious nature of her laugh.

And the feel of her . . . Gods the feel of her. Her body fit perfectly with mine, as if she were made for me.

My breath rushed out as a bone-deep agony tore through my soul.

Because that was all I’d have of her for now—memories.

Last night had not only been the first night I’d spent with Avery Meyers, but it had also been the last—at least for the foreseeable future.

Nothing further could come of my attraction to her, not right now.

My wolf howled forlornly again. He knew I wasn’t budging on this, but that was better than leaving her safety in the care of someone else, ruining her dream, and shattering the promise I’d made to Marcus and had vowed to keep.

As much as my heart hurt at the thought of her leaving my life in three months, I would do it for her, and I would do it for Marcus, which meant I had to teach Avery how to get out of any crisis situation that arose.

My blood chilled at the thought of her in danger.

I’d be damned if I failed at protecting her from that.