Curvy Girls Can’t Date Soldiers by Kelsie Stelting
Forty-Four
Apollo
“How long hashe been doing this?” Carrie whispered.
“At least an hour,” Josh responded. “But he’s been working out all weekend. He’s still upset about Nadira.”
I kept doing push-ups, pretending I hadn’t heard them. The only way I knew to get my brain to give out was to make my body go first. I didn’t feel like walking across campus to the gym though, so I’d looked up a bodyweight workout and kept repeating the rounds until my muscles hurt more than the gaping hole in my chest filled with betrayal and disappointment.
“He’s going to tear something,” Carrie muttered. “I didn’t even know people could do that many push-ups in a row.”
I switched from push-ups to squats, keeping my back to them.
“I don’t mind this view,” Carrie muttered, making my cheeks heat.
“You know,” Josh said. “I would be jealous, but I get it. He’s got buns of steel.”
“Hey!” I said, pulling out my headphones. “Can you stop talking about my butt for five seconds?”
Josh seemed embarrassed, but Carrie pointed at me. “Aha! I knew you could hear us.”
I shook my head, dipping into another squat. My legs were shaking from the exertion.
“Can’t you deal with this the normal way?” she asked. “I can get some ice cream, and we can watch Dirty Dancing and cry it out.”
I raised my eyebrows. “That’s healthier than working out?”
“You’re going to get rhabdomyolysis,” she said.
“How do you know about that?” I asked.
“Where else? The internet.”
I shook my head, finishing up the round of squats and going into sit-ups. Crumbs pressed into the bare skin of my back as I went up and down as fast as I could. We really needed to sweep the floor better.
Carrie tried again. “You know, it’s okay to be sad after a breakup.”
“It’s not a breakup,” I huffed. “We would have had to be dating for a breakup to happen.”
Josh and Carrie gave each other a look that I ignored, then Josh tried another tactic.
“You know next weekend is Parents’ Weekend, right?”
I ignored him.
“The college sent out invites. Do you think yours will come?” he asked.
I pressed my lips into a line and switched to push-ups again. “I suggest you drop it.”
They exchanged another look.
Carrie said, “We’re about to go get supper. Do you want to join us?”
“No thanks.” When they didn’t go, I pushed myself to my knees on shaking arms and snapped, “I mean it. Stop looking at me like I’m some sort of lost puppy. I’m in the ROTC, for Christ’s sake. I’ll go to war someday. I can handle a lie from someone I’ve never even seen before.”
Carrie stood up, getting her purse. “Fine. But you’re not going to feel better until you admit she actually meant something to you.”
I began doing push-ups again. “I feel just fine.”
Josh trailed behind her, pausing at the door. I could feel his eyes on me, but I kept my gaze forward, focused on form, knowing the burnout was only seconds away.
“You know,” he said. “I agree with her. And you’re a terrible liar.” Then he closed the door and walked away.
The second the door latched, I let my arms give out like they’d been begging to and lay flat on the dirty floor. Shaking and weak, I hauled myself up and crawled to my bed until I could climb up the ladder and lie down.
My muscles were tired, my mind was calmer than before, but my heart still ached with every beat.
