Savage Tracker by Maggie Cole

15

Obrecht

Out of all the Ivanovs,I'm usually the one who's the most patient. Every day that passes without me talking to or seeing Selena is torture. I get full updates of everywhere she goes from Matvey and Vlad. Matvey told me she met Carla and is seeing her every morning for coffee. I called Carla to ask if Selena is okay, but Carla won't tell me anything. She even warned me to stay away from Selena and respect her wishes, so I've held myself back from going down to her condo or working out on the roof, since I know she goes there almost daily.

After a week, I can't take it anymore. Even my brother Adrian says I'm spinning out. He's the one in the family who normally does that, not me. I'm in the middle of going through my stock account, when I get a text.

Matvey: Selena is on the roof.

I go up to work out as an excuse in the hopes I can talk to her.

When I step outside, she's sitting on the lounger, facing the water. She has her earphones in and is on her laptop. I refrain from going over to her and start my exercises. I'm in the plank pose when Selena sits down on the turf in front of me.

My pulse flares. Her lavender scent surrounds me, and I fall out of the position to the ground.

"Don't let me stop you," she teases.

I sit up and face her. She looks beautiful. Her hair is in a messy bun. Her cheeks have a hint of pink in them. The green in her eyes swirls into the brown. She's smiling while biting on her lower lip.

"Hey, baby girl." I reach out for her and freeze. I pull my hand back to my side.

"Do you have a few minutes to talk?" she asks in a soft voice.

"Yeah. I'll confess, I broke down and didn't keep my promise to myself I'd stay off the roof when you're up here. The workout is a mirage. I came up here in the hopes you'd talk to me."

Her face falls. "You don't need to stay off the roof. You live here, too."

"I didn't want to disrespect your wishes, but I miss you. A lot," I admit.

Her lips twitch. "I miss you, too."

"You do?"

"Yeah."

Hope overpowers me. "Can we return to hanging out?"

She furrows her eyebrows. She opens her mouth to speak then shuts it. Her hands grip the AstroTurf.

My gut drops. "Sorry. I don't mean to push."

She shakes her head. "You aren't. Umm... I-I'm trying to understand some things...about myself and my time with Jack. I think right now, it's best if I keep to myself for a bit longer."

My heart feels like someone is squeezing it. I want to tell her to let me help her. That I'll do anything to have her back in my life again because it's driving me crazy, and some days, breathing feels difficult from not seeing her. Instead, I try to put on a good face. "Sure. I understand."

She looks toward the water, and several minutes pass. She finally turns back. "I've been seeing Carla, well, we have coffee in the morning. I'm assuming you already know this?"

I raise my hand. "Guilty. Always said you were smart."

She softly laughs. "Are Matvey and Vlad texting you when I go places?"

"Yes." I don't hesitate. I'm not going to lie to her. "How did you know?"

"They always text someone when we leave and when we get somewhere. Plus, I kind of thought it was something you'd do." She raises her eyebrows.

"I just want to make sure you're safe."

She smiles, and my heart aches further. "I know. It's okay. I kind of like the thought of you keeping tabs on me."

A moment of silence passes, and I can't take my eyes off hers. There are so many things I thought I would say when I got to talk to her again, but I can't decide what's the most important. I finally stroke her cheek. "You look good, my dorogaya."

She puts her hands on her lap and twists them together. "I wanted to thank you for introducing me to Carla."

I remove my hand. "Is she helping?"

"Yes."

I nod. "That's good. I'm sorry about how I went about things. I thought I was helping you and..." I swallow the big lump in my throat. "I should have talked to you first."

"It's okay. I don't think you did it to hurt me."

"I didn't. I would never intentionally hurt you," I assure her.

She brings her knees to her chest and hugs them. "I know." Something passes on her face.

"Is there something you want to ask me?"

"I've been wondering something. If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to."

"What is it?"

She hesitates.

"Go on, baby girl. You don't have to be scared to ask me whatever is on your mind."

"Okay. Carla told me you know I saw Cascade for two therapy sessions."

I squeeze my eyes shut. Blood pounds between my ears. I open my eyes and pin my gaze on her. "Yeah. I dug up everything on you I could find."

"Why?"

"The day Sergey came to talk to you up here, he texted me and asked me to watch out for you. Once I started digging, I couldn't stop. I knew you hired our guys for security, and my brother and I handle that part of the Ivanov business."

She straightens up and crisscrosses her legs. "And how did you know you were a Dom? Sorry, a top?"

My stomach clenches. There are only two options. I can tell her I don't want to talk about it, but it doesn't seem right after she's told me so much about her life. "Carla is the only person who knows."

She scrunches her face. "Okay. Sorry I asked."

"No. I'm going to tell you. I just wanted you to know no one else knows."

"Oh. Okay." She focuses on me and waits.

I choose my words carefully. It feels like someone is taking a nail gun and shooting it into my stomach. "When my sister died, I had just found out my fiancée was working for the Petrovs."

Horror fills her face. "The people who kidnapped and killed Natalia?"

I glance up at the sky. It's blue, with no clouds in sight, but I suddenly feel anything but sunny. "Yes. She was only with me to spy on me for them."

She scoots closer and grabs my hand. It's an electric shock wave of everything I miss about her. Her warmth and kindness and soft hands I can't get out of my mind. "That's horrible."

I force myself to look at her. I'm tempted to keep staring at the sky instead of facing her, but I don't. She's always open with me. She's never hidden anything. She deserves me to be the man who gives her the same amount of honest attention she always shows me. "After the Petrovs raped and murdered Natalia, I had a hard time having sex. I always was dominant. Not in the way I am now, nor did I even know what BDSM was, but I liked to make the woman I was with submit. After everything happened, I just..." I inhale a lungful of air. "I felt guilty. I didn't want to date anyone and ever feel the pain I felt when I found out about Annika's betrayal. I tried casual sex, and I couldn't do it. I keep thinking about men forcing themselves on my sister. When I met Carla, she saw how messed up I was and took me to the club we belong to. She helped me process things and find a way to get what I needed."

She stays quiet. Her eyes are full of sympathy, but it doesn't feel like pity. It's as if she somehow understands me and what I went through. "Thank you for telling me."

I shouldn't say it. She made it clear she needs space and to be by herself. She doesn't deserve a guilt trip or pressure, but I don't know what to do with this ache I can't get rid of. "I miss you. I spend my day checking my phone, hoping you'll call or text. I force myself not to come knock on your door."

A line forms between her eyes. "I won't lie. I've stopped myself from punching the code for your penthouse."

I reach for her waist and pull her over my body, so she's straddling me. "Then come up. Anytime. You don't even need to call or text. Just come up."

She blinks hard, and her lips quiver. "I umm..." She clears her throat. "I'm figuring some things out, but I'm not sure I fall into your parameters. I don't want to pretend I can do something I can't."

"What are you talking about? We don't have to do anything you don't want to."

She shakes her head. "I'm not talking about sexual acts. Well, not between us at least."

"I don't understand."

"It's what I'm trying to come to terms with, with Carla. I umm... I'm not sure I can be your bottom." A tear drips down her face.

My heart stutters. I wipe her cheek with my thumb. "What—"

"Obrecht! We've got an issue. You're needed now!" Matvey yells out.

She jumps off my lap and stands.

I rise. "Selena, if I did something—"

"You haven't done anything wrong. This is me. I'm trying to figure things out. It's why I've stayed away from you," she says.

"Obrecht!" Matvey barks.

She smiles. "I think you better go take care of whatever is going on before Matvey has a heart attack."

"When can we talk about this?" I ask.

"Just give me a little bit more time. Please? I don't want to say something I'm unsure about."

"Obrecht. This is important! The snake is slithering in the garage," Matvey's voice booms.

"Go," she says and nods toward him.

Sometimes, I hate my life. The snake is Adrian's ex-wife, Dasha. It's code that they have one of the Polish mob guys she's involved with at the garage, and I need to go spend who knows how many days, torturing the guy until he gives us the information we need.

"When you're ready, please let's finish this conversation," I say to Selena.

"Okay."

I slide my hands on her cheeks. I resist kissing her on the lips and peck her on the forehead instead. I begrudgingly leave her and take care of Ivanov issues. For several days, I'm at the garage. As soon as I get in my car, I turn on my phone.

No messages.

My heart sinks. When I get home, Matvey tells me Selena is on the roof. I put on my workout clothes, and déjà vu hits me. She's in the same lounger, listening to music and on her laptop. I don't say anything to her, trying to respect her boundary. I complete a full workout. When I turn to leave, Kora is talking with her.

I jog over to them. "Kora. I thought that was you. How are you?" I haven't seen her since her mother and sister's funeral.

She smiles. "Doing better. Thanks. And I never got to thank you properly."

"For what?" I ask.

She swallows hard. "Sergey told me you and Adrian kept DeAndre and Terrell away from me at the wake."

My heart goes out to her. The remaining family she has are grade-A assholes. "No need to thank me. You're family now."

She blinks hard and turns toward the lake. There's an uncomfortable silence.

I ask, "What are you doing here?"

She recovers. "I'd ask you the same thing, but it seems you live here?"

"Yeah. I moved in a little over a month ago. Maksim talked me into the penthouse and gave me a good deal."

"Aww. Maksim showed you his soft side, did he?" she teases.

I chuckle. "Something like that."

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah." I glance at Selena and try to keep my cool. "Hey, Selena."

She beams, and a small flush fills her cheeks. "Hi."

My dick hardens. With Kora here, there's no way I'm talking to Selena to find out what she meant the last time we spoke. "Okay. I need to get ready for work. It was good seeing you, Kora. I'll see you later, Selena."

"Okay," Selena replies.

Kora waves. "Bye."

I shower then text Matvey.

Me: Let me know when Kora leaves.

Matvey: She's already gone.

Me: Where is Selena?

Matvey: In her condo.

I throw on clothes and go to Selena's unit. I knock on the door.

She opens it. "Obrecht."

"Can I come in?"

She opens the door wider and steps back. "Sure."

I resist pulling her into my arms and kissing her. She told me to give her time, and I did, but I can't continue not knowing why she thinks she can't be with me.

"Do you want something to drink?" she offers.

"No, thanks."

She motions to the couch. "Please sit. I'm glad you're here. I was going to see if you could talk today."

I release an anxious breath and sit. "Good. I don't want to push you, Selena, but I need to know what you meant the other day."

She nods. "Yes. I know." She sits down and turns to face me. "This is hard for me. I…umm..." She takes a deep breath and swallows hard.

My heart beats so fast, I think it might explode. "It's okay. Just tell me whatever you need to say."

I've not seen the expression on her face before, and it scares me. "Kora made some comments. I acted like we were nothing, and I barely knew you."

"We aren't nothing, and you do know me," I sternly say.

Nervousness appears on her face. "Yes. I know. It made me realize I need to stop hiding from you and get it over with."

I don't like the phrase, get it over with. It makes my skin crawl. "I'm listening."

"I really like you, Obrecht."

"I feel the same about you."

She bites on her lip and shuts her eyes.

My gut drops. "Baby girl—"

"I don't think you should call me that anymore."

My jaw clenches. A suffocating feeling overwhelms me. I sternly ask, "Why not?"

"I can't be your bottom."

"What did I do?"

She shakes her head. "Nothing. You haven't done anything wrong."

"Then why can't we be together? I know I made a mistake, but—"

"It's not that." She glances at the floor and twists her hands together.

"Then tell me why," I demand.

She pins her glistening orbs on mine. "I-I can't be anyone's bottom. It's not what I want. I might not know everything about myself, but I do know I can't stand the thought of you with anyone else. I don't want to go back to something where the man I'm with is screwing other women. I just... I can't do it again. And every time I try to convince myself I'm overreacting and can deal with it, I feel like I can't breathe."

I tug her onto my lap. "Listen to me, baby girl. I don't care about anyone else. I don't need to screw any other woman. And I don't want you to be a bottom for me or any other top."

She furrows her eyebrows. "But you said no attachments."

"Yeah. That's what I wanted before I met you."

She stares at me, her hot breath merging into mine, confusion all over her face. "What do you want then? I need to be clear on what you want so I don't have something else in my head."

"I want you. What do you want me to be? Your Dom? Your boyfriend? I hope to God you don't say Master, but if you do, I'm going to have to swallow my pride and somehow figure it out," I admit.

A tiny smile forms on her lips. "I don't want a Master. You were right about that. But I'm not sure beyond that."

I fist her hair. "But you want to be with me? In a committed relationship?"

"Yes."

"Good. Then the rest we'll decide together." I kiss her. Every second of suffering without her, I put in our kiss. My tongue parts the seam of her lips as I hungrily flick in and out of her mouth, taking every morsel of affection she'll give me. I pull back. "Go put something nice on."

"Why?" she pants.

"I'm taking you out, baby girl.”