Once a Wife by Patricia Keelyn
CHAPTER EIGHT
No one had to tell Sarah the identity of the tall blond woman talking to Tod. She’d seen Michelle Hawthorne’s picture in the paper nearly as often as she’d seen Reece’s. Michelle was even lovelier in person—and a sharp reminder to Sarah that the family-like ambience of the past few hours had been nothing more than an illusion.
She, Sarah, was an outsider here.
Michelle came toward them, flashing a flawless smile, and took hold of the Appaloosa’s bridle. “Well, it’s about time. I’d just about given up on you.”
Reece glanced at Sarah, then turned back to Michelle. “Sorry,” he said as he dismounted. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
“It was a surprise,” she said, grinning mischievously, “but that’s okay.” She threw a flirtatious smile at Reece’s foreman. “Tod entertained me.”
Tod tipped his hat. “Anytime, Miss Hawthorne. Anytime.”
Michelle laughed lightly and then turned and kissed Reece lightly on the cheek. Her easy familiarity with him sent an unexpected jolt through Sarah’s stomach, but she tamped down the emotion immediately. She already had enough to deal with without adding jealousy to the list.
Meanwhile, Michelle had backed up a little from Reece, evidently just noticing his soggy appearance. “What happened to you? You look like you got caught in a deluge.”
“The Appaloosa decided Dad needed a bath,” Drew said.
Michelle nodded. “I see.” Although it was clear she didn’t, especially when she took in Drew’s equally wet clothes and then Sarah’s.
“Michelle,” Reece said as Sarah climbed off her horse, “this is Sarah Hanson. Drew’s tutor. Sarah, my fiancée, Michelle Hawthorne.”
“I’ve heard so much about you,” Michelle said, moving to take Sarah’s hand. “It’s good to finally meet you.”
Sarah forced a smile past the sick feeling in her stomach. “It’s nice to meet you, too, Miss Hawthorne.”
“Please, call me Michelle.” She smiled, and although Sarah would have preferred to dislike this woman, her genuine openness made it difficult.
Releasing Sarah’s hand, Michelle turned to Drew. “I haven’t seen you in a while, Drew. How are you doing?”
“Okay, I guess.” His reply was little more than a mumble—a far cry from the exuberant laughter and shouts of a short while ago. Sarah started to correct him for his rudeness and then stopped herself. It wasn’t her place. As Reece kept reminding her, she was only Drew’s tutor.
If Michelle noticed anything amiss, she let it slide. Turning back to Reece, she said, “I came over because we have a couple of things to discuss.”
“Excuse me,” Sarah said, thinking they’d probably prefer to talk without an audience. Besides, even though she’d known all along about Reece’s engagement, she had no desire to stand here and watch him with another woman. “Come on, Drew, let’s get these horses put away.”
“Wait, Sarah,” Michelle said, turning to Sarah before she could get away. “I didn’t mean to chase you off.”
“That’s okay.” Sarah wished this woman wasn’t so pleasant. She didn’t want to like Michelle Hawthorne. “I need to take care of my horse.”
“We all do.” Reece looked distinctly uncomfortable, like a boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar, and Sarah wondered why. “Then I’d like to get into some dry clothes,” he continued. “Why don’t you go on up to the house, Michelle? I’ll be there as soon as I’m done here.”
“Deal,” she said. “That is, if you and Drew take care of the horses so Sarah can walk up to the house with me. It’ll give us a chance to get acquainted.”
“I really should take care of my own animal,” Sarah said. The last thing she wanted was to spend time alone with Reece’s fiancée.
“It’s okay, Miss Hanson,” Drew offered. “I’ll take care of your horse for you.”
For once, Sarah wished Drew was less accommodating.
“Thanks, Drew.” Michelle took the reins from Sarah and handed them to Drew. “Now, you can’t beat an offer like that, can you, Sarah? Come on.”
Sarah shot a glance at Reece, and then followed Michelle toward the house. There was no graceful way out of it. She couldn’t very well refuse to accompany the woman.
Once they were away from the barn, Michelle said, “Actually, I’m glad we have a few minutes to ourselves. I really wanted to talk to you.”
Sarah glanced sideways at Michelle. “About what?”
“Drew, mainly.”
Sarah had a hard time believing that Michelle had engineered this time alone so they could talk about Drew. “Really, Miss Hawthorne, I don’t see—”
“Michelle, please.”
Sarah nodded. “Okay. Michelle.”
“How is he doing with his schoolwork?”
Sarah hesitated to say anything. Yet she detected no subterfuge in the other woman. Michelle seemed honestly interested in Drew. Maybe the only one here with a hidden agenda was Sarah herself. But then, why would Michelle Hawthorne need to hide anything? She was Senator Robert Hawthorne’s daughter and Reece Colby’s fiancée. Michelle certainly had nothing to fear from the likes of Sarah.
“We’ve only been working together for a week,” Sarah said at last. “But he’s doing well.”
“Is he going to pass?”
“It’s too early to say for sure. But if he keeps up the way he has, I think so.”
“And his other problem?”
Sarah looked at the other woman, wondering how much Michelle knew. Obviously, she knew about Drew’s tendency to forget his insulin and his regular mealtimes. But did she know that Sarah and Reece had been married? That Drew was her son? Except for Millie, no one else on the ranch seemed to know.
“I don’t think I should discuss this without his father present,” Sarah said finally.
Michelle stopped, and Sarah did the same. “I’m going to be his stepmother.” She paused, glancing back toward the barn where they’d left Reece and Drew. “And I’m concerned about him. After you’re gone, I’ll be the one taking care of him.” She let the statement stand alone for a moment, letting it sink in.
Sarah felt it deep inside. The truth of it. And it hurt.
Then Michelle added, “I have a right to know how he’s doing.”
Sarah started back toward the house. The late-afternoon air chilled her through the wet clothing. “Yes, you do.” Though it nearly killed her to admit it. “But you’ll have to get the information from his father.”
Michelle didn’t budge. “I don’t agree with the way Reece is keeping you a secret, Sarah.”
The words stopped Sarah cold. Taking a deep breath, she turned back to face Michelle. “What did you say?”
“I think Drew has a right to know who you really are. I told Reece that before you came here. We argued about it.” She took a step closer. “So you see, I’m on your side.”
Sarah shook her head and started to back away. “Really, I can’t talk about this.”
“Won’t? Or can’t?”
“That really doesn’t matter, does it? I won’t talk about it.” Sarah turned, and without looking back, crossed the remaining few yards to the house. Whatever Michelle Hawthorne wanted from her, whether her intentions were good or bad, Sarah couldn’t supply it. Already, there were too many secrets, too many lies in her life. She couldn’t enter into another with Reece’s fiancée.
The moment she walked through the kitchen door, Millie confronted her. “Do the other two look as bad as you?” she asked, taking in Sarah’s wet clothes and soggy boots.
Sarah fought the grin and lost. Millie had a talent for lightening any mood. “At least.”
“Anybody ever explain that you’re supposed to take your clothes off before you go swimming?”
“It’s a long story.” And not one Sarah wanted to go into right now, especially since Michelle had just followed her into the kitchen. “Ask Drew. I’m sure he’ll be glad to explain it in great detail.”
“Humph.” Then to Michelle, Millie said, “You staying for dinner, Miss Hawthorne?”
Again, Michelle smiled that megawatt smile. “If it’s no trouble, Millie.”
“No trouble at all. Go on, Sarah, get out of those wet clothes.”
Sarah made her escape, glad to leave Michelle in Millie’s capable hands.
Upstairs, she shed her wet clothes and headed for the shower. The hot water was heaven. Funny how she hadn’t felt cold until they’d gotten back to the ranch. She’d been fine out by the creek and all the way home. But for the past few minutes, she hadn’t been able to contain her shivers.
She’d been so angry at Reece when he’d decided to go with her and Drew today—even angrier than she’d been about last night. She’d asked him to leave her alone, and he’d ignored her request. Yet the afternoon had turned magical, giving them all a moment’s respite from the pressures of their situation. Of course, that’s all it was. A momentary lull. Nothing had really changed between the three of them. She was still only the tutor, Drew her student, and Reece, her employer. The appearance of Michelle Hawthorne had brought all of that home to Sarah with a vengeance.
But Sarah couldn’t blame Michelle. Even though she was everything Sarah could never hope to be. Wealthy. Beautiful. White …
Sarah pushed that last thought aside.
She’d never been ashamed of her Shoshone heritage. It had been her mother’s people who’d made her feel like she belonged somewhere. Her mother’s mother who’d taken her in and raised her after her parents’ death. She hardly knew her father’s parents; they’d wanted nothing to do with their half-breed granddaughter. No, Sarah was proud of the Shoshone blood that ran through her veins. But she also knew that was one of the reasons she wasn’t the right woman for Reece Colby. Michelle Hawthorne suited him in ways that Sarah never had or could. Michelle was the type of woman he should have married twelve years ago.
As Sarah climbed out of the shower and wrapped herself in her robe, she could hear Drew downstairs. He was telling Millie all about the Appaloosa sending Reece for a dunking and the ensuing water fight. His boyish laughter echoed through the house, warming her in a way the hot shower couldn’t.
She’d been wrong earlier when she’d thought nothing had changed. Drew had changed. He’d become a child again. If nothing else, she could be proud that she’d given that back to him.
Reece put off heading back to the house as long as he could. He knew what Michelle wanted to talk about. The campaign. He’d asked her for two weeks with Drew; she’d barely given him one. If he’d been honest with himself, he should have realized she couldn’t wait the fourteen days. The word ambitious described her perfectly, and the only surprise was that she hadn’t stopped by sooner.
What he couldn’t have seen coming was her wanting to talk to Sarah alone. The very thought disturbed him, and he’d have loved to be a fly on somebody’s shoulder to hear that particular conversation. He couldn’t imagine what the two of them had to say to each other. They were worlds apart. If he didn’t know Michelle better, he’d have sworn there’d been some jealousy in her display by the corral.
Still, she deserved better treatment than being put on hold while he tried to straighten out his life. It was too much to ask of anyone, especially the woman he intended to marry. So he figured he deserved whatever reprimands she doled out. Although, knowing Michelle, she’d do nothing of the sort.
When he walked into the house, he found her busily setting the dinner table, while Millie fussed over the stove. Neither Sarah nor Drew were anywhere around. Before he could say a word, Millie took over.
“Miss Hawthorne’s staying for dinner,” she said. “Go on up now, and get out of those wet clothes. Dinner’ll be ready in fifteen minutes.”
Knowing better than to argue with Millie, Reece headed upstairs.
The last time Reece had eaten dinner in the house had been the night before Elizabeth left for the East Coast. He dreaded another meal like that one.
To his surprise, however, things were subdued. For one thing, Michelle was too gracious to pick and prod at Sarah the way his mother had. Although she did ask a polite question or two. Other than that, no one had much to say. Everyone—especially Drew—seemed too worn out to talk.
“I guess we’re all pretty tired,” Reece said at one point after a long stretch of silence.
“It has been a busy day,” Sarah agreed.
“Especially with all of you getting soaked,” Michelle added.
Drew stifled a yawn and sat a little straighter in his chair. “I’m not tired.”
“I can see that.” Reece smiled at his son and then caught Sarah’s eye as she, too, smiled knowingly. Lord, she was beautiful when she smiled. Her entire face lit up, her eyes turning a warmer, softer brown than usual, her lips gently curving upward—
“You should make it an early night, Drew,” Millie said, interrupting Reece’s thoughts.
“Millie’s right,” Reece said, realizing that the last thing he needed to be thinking about was Sarah’s lips. “Right after dinner, hit the sack, young man.”
“Aw, Dad.” But it was a token protest at best.
Everyone finished eating shortly after that, and as Millie cleared the table, Sarah ushered Drew off to bed. It was the first chance Reece had to talk to Michelle alone.
He led her into the living room, and as soon as he’d closed the double paneled doors, she said, “Things seem to be going very well between Sarah and Drew.”
“They get along.” Reece headed for the wet bar and pulled a tumbler and wineglass from the rack. “Glass of wine?”
“No, thanks. But you go ahead.”
Reece nodded and poured three fingers of scotch into the tumbler, as Michelle settled onto the couch.
“Actually,” she said, “I think they’re more than just getting along. It’s obvious she’s crazy about him.”
He didn’t answer, but reached into the small refrigerator under the bar and pulled out a few ice cubes. He knew Michelle was leading up to something. Though it wasn’t like her to take the long way around things.
“Sarah says that Drew’s making progress with his schoolwork,” she continued. “Though she wouldn’t tell me anything about how he’s doing with his eating and medication. Have there been any more incidents?”
“Michelle,” he crossed the room and sat in the chair beside her, “it’s not like you to ramble.”
She hesitated, looking away for a moment, before turning to look at him with troubled blue eyes. “I thought you’d at least call me.”
Reece fought the guilt her simple statement aroused. She was right. He should have called. “I’ve been very busy,” he said.
“Yes. I can see that.”
Resentment rushed through him, although he couldn’t have said exactly why. He deserted his chair and moved to stand by the front windows. “For God’s sake, Michelle, aren’t I allowed to spend an afternoon with my son?”
“Of course you are.”
For once, her rational manner and calm voice failed to soothe him. He wanted her to snap at him, yell. Tell him to go to hell.
Instead, she said, “What’s wrong with you, Reece? I’ve never seen you like this.”
He sighed and turned to look at her. His irrational anger evaporated as quickly as it had surfaced—as soon as he’d realized where it had come from. Guilt. He’d spent the afternoon with Sarah, as well as Drew, and he’d enjoyed himself immensely. It should have been Michelle, his fiancée, with him and Drew this afternoon. Not his ex-wife. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I should have called.”
For a moment, she remained quiet, then said, “Have you made a decision about the campaign?”
“Yes, I have.” Actually, he’d hardly thought about it until this afternoon. He crossed the room and sat down again in the chair beside her. “I’ve decided to withdraw.”
“I see.” Michelle straightened a little, her hands folded neatly in her lap. “Is this decision final? Or can we talk about it?”
“There’s really not much to talk about.” He took a sip of his drink, thinking about the best way to handle this. He wanted her to understand. “The last few days with Drew have been … well, let’s just say I’ve discovered I have a son I hardly know. I want to spend time with him.” That wasn’t all of it, he admitted to himself. There was the ranch, too. He’d missed running it. But he didn’t think Michelle wanted to hear that.
She leaned forward in her chair. “Why can’t you do both? Run for office and spend time with Drew?”
“You know why.” Unable to sit still, he again deserted his chair and returned to the windows. Outside, the day hovered between darkness and light, as his ranch wound down for the evening.
Facing Michelle again, he said, “We’ve just begun this campaign, and look how much time I’ve already spent. It’s taken me away from the ranch and from Drew. And it’s only going to get worse. You know that.” Reece ran a hand through his hair. “He’s starting to come around. Did you hear him laughing tonight? I’ve never known him to laugh like that before.”
Michelle remained silent for several minutes. Then she said, “Well, you have to do what’s best for you and Drew.”
It was a typical Michelle comment. Cool. Pleasant. Undisturbed. Yet he knew this had to be upsetting for her, and he wondered what was really going on in her head. It was something he never knew with Michelle. He could never see beyond her composed exterior. “What about you?” he asked. “What about us?”
“That’s up to you.” She rose from her chair. “Is there still an ‘us’?”
Reece closed the distance between them and gently gripped her upper arms. “Michelle, come over to the ranch more often. Spend some time with Drew and me. Get to know my son, too.”
She shook her head and looked away. “I don’t think so, Reece.”
“Why not?” He took her chin in his hand and turned her head so that she had to look at him. “After all, we’re going to be a family soon.”
She shifted from under his hands and stepped back. “Are we?”
“Of course.” He moved toward her again but stopped when she raised her hands as if to ward him off.
“A couple of weeks ago,” she said, “I would’ve agreed with you. But now I’m not so sure. I’m not sure we want the same things anymore.”
“All because I’ve dropped out of this campaign to spend time with my son?” His resentment stirred. “That hardly makes sense.”
“Doesn’t it? You forget why we decided to get married to begin with.”
“I haven’t forgotten.”
“We were going to use our family names and money to change things for Wyoming. To make this a better place for the people who live here.”
“I don’t see how that’s changed. This is only one election, Michelle. There’ll be others.”
“Will there?”
“Of course. Let me just get through this time with Drew.”
For a few moments, she didn’t say anything. Then she went to pick up her purse on a nearby table. “I think you have a lot of thinking to do, Reece. You have decisions to make that have nothing to do with whether you’re ever going to run for office again.” She moved across the room but stopped and turned at the door. “And the biggest of those decisions is whether or not you’re still in love with your ex-wife.”
Then she turned and left him alone.
Reece didn’t move for several minutes. He heard the front door open and close and the purr of the engine as she started her car. He shifted to look out the window. The last of the day’s light had given way to darkness. He should go after her, stop her from leaving, but his feet remained anchored to the floor.
She was right.
He no longer knew how he felt about Sarah—not the woman she’d become, anyway. He’d once loved her, the reserved proud girl he’d married. This new Sarah, this woman, was an entirely different matter, however. He looked at her and saw fragments of the girl, but there was so much more. He also perceived sadness and regret, compassion and patience.
In some ways, she’d already captured him again. He wanted her. He’d admitted that days ago. But it was more than that. She stirred feelings in him he’d hadn’t expected to experience again. He’d vowed years ago never to trust someone with his heart, never to be that vulnerable. Yet here he was, questioning what he felt toward the very woman who’d once torn his heart to shreds.
He didn’t love her. He couldn’t. Even though this afternoon, while he watched her with Drew, something inside him had come alive. Something other than lust.
He moved away from the window as Michelle’s car became two red taillights heading away from the Crooked C. Sinking into one of the armchairs, he picked up the scotch and took a long swallow.
The safest course of action would be to send Sarah away. Before she did more damage, before she totally burrowed her way into his heart as she had thirteen years ago.
Then he remembered Drew’s laughter.
That was Sarah’s doing. Somehow, in one short week, she’d worked wonders on his son. He didn’t know how she’d done it, but he couldn’t risk undoing it by sending her away. He couldn’t trade Drew’s happiness for his own peace of mind. Even if it meant risking his own heart once again.
Sarah waited until she heard Michelle’s car drive away before heading down the back stairs and out the kitchen door. As she made her way toward the barn, she drank in the fresh night air and the myriad stars overhead. The day had been filled with so many conflicting emotions, she needed this time alone with her thoughts.
She stopped first at the corral where the Appaloosa paced. She didn’t even have to call to him anymore. He was already at the fence waiting impatiently for her, as she stepped onto the bottom rail to feed him the carrots she’d brought from the kitchen. It had become their ritual, and Sarah figured she looked forward to it as much as he did. Then, after patting him on the neck, she walked over to the pen where Tod had left one of the pregnant mares for the night. Sarah climbed up to sit on the top railing, and the little mare pranced shyly over to collect her share of the goodies.
It was a glorious night, clear and cool, scented with the pungent smells of the ranch. She realized she felt good tonight, despite the roller coaster of emotions the day had produced. It was wonderful to see her son happy. She could handle anything if at the end of each day she could hear his laughter.
“May I join you?”
She started at Reece’s voice and nearly lost her balance.
“I’m sorry,” he said as she turned, ready to chastise him for once again startling her. “I have to learn to walk louder.”
Sarah shook her head, unable to stop her slight smile. He sounded sincerely contrite this time. “You could try issuing a warning call from twenty feet or something.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” He pushed his hat to the back of his head and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Do you mind if I join you for a few minutes?”
She hesitated and then said, “It’s your place, Reece.” She wasn’t at all sure she wanted company. Especially his. In one way or another, he always managed to disturb her, splintering whatever peace she’d found in this crazy situation.
He acknowledged her comment with a nod and moved to lean against the fence. The mare ambled over, checking to see if he had anything better to offer than Sarah did.
He stroked the horse’s muzzle and said, “Whatcha looking for, girl?” She nudged his shoulder. Laughing softly, he reached into his shirt pocket and produced a sugar cube. “Here you go, you big baby. How’s that?”
“You’re a soft touch,” Sarah said.
“Yeah, well, she’s expecting.” He looked up at Sarah, his expression all but invisible in the dim light. “And I’ve always had a weakness for pregnant females.”
Again, Sarah almost lost her seat on the railing. Confused, she looked away. He was doing it again. Finding another way to throw her off-balance. What a strange thing for him to say. All day, he’d behaved differently from the man who’d hired her to tutor his son, less angry and more like the boy she’d once loved. He’d actually seemed like a different person. It frightened her. Because this Reece was infinitely more disturbing.
“I can’t believe the changes in Drew,” Reece said finally. “You’ve worked wonders on him.”
Again, his words surprised her. First because he’d said them, and second because he couldn’t see what had precipitated the change in Drew.
“It’s not me,” she said.
“You’re being modest.”
“No. It’s you. The time you’re spending with him.”
“I don’t think so.”
“As far as Drew’s concerned, I’m just a tutor.” She reached out to stroke the mare. “You’re his father. He wants to be with you.”
Reece looked at her with skepticism.
He didn’t get it, she realized. He didn’t grasp the truth when it was right in front of him. But she saw it. Drew was beginning to open up because of the time Reece spent with him: the evenings Reece checked Drew’s work, the hours they spent together with the horses, and the days, like today, when Reece roughhoused with Drew in a chilly mountain stream. To her, it had been clear from the beginning what Drew’s problem was: he needed a full-time father.
“Whatever the cause,” Reece said after a few moments of silence, “I want you to know I appreciate it. Also, in case you’re right about Drew, I think you should know I’m pulling out of the campaign.”
They’d never talked about his political aspirations. She’d considered it none of her business. But now, she couldn’t keep the surprise out of her voice. “But why, Reece? I thought you wanted that seat. That it was only a first step for you.”
He met her gaze steadily. “It’s not worth losing Drew over.”
A rush of warmth filled her, momentarily silencing her. Reece planned to give up his political career for Drew. For his son. Suddenly, she thought of Lyssa, and Sarah realized how selfish she’d been. Reece had a right to know he had a daughter, and Lyssa deserved to know she had a father.
But she couldn’t tell him. Not yet, anyway. She was still afraid of his reaction, still afraid he might demand custody of Lyssa and send her, Sarah, away. And she needed more time with Drew. But she realized she couldn’t wait forever. Eventually, she’d have to tell him about his daughter.
“Don’t worry,” he said, obviously misinterpreting her silence. “I’ll be taking back the reins of the ranch, so I’ll be keeping busy. I’ll stay out of your way while you’re working with Drew.” He paused. “And other times, as well.”
Sarah took a deep breath. Reece was offering to stay away from her for the remainder of her stay at the Crooked C. This time, she realized, he meant it. He’d let her work with Drew without interference, without watching over her shoulder every step of the way. But was that what she really wanted? To have Reece avoid her? As few as ten hours ago, she’d have sworn to it. Now she didn’t know.
“Thank you,” she said finally, as she fought the strong sense of loss that settled over her.
