Puzzle by Nora Phoenix
32
“I’ve decided to accept Branson’s offer to become his roommate,” Ryder said.
After another spectacular round of sex, he’d gone home, where he’d taken a shower and then had hurried over to Dorian. He was now lounging on Dorian’s couch, right next to his friend, while they were enjoying a nice bottle of red wine. That was, Ryder was still sipping his first glass, since he had to drive home, while Dorian was about to finish his second. Amelia was in bed, the baby monitor on the coffee table blissfully quiet.
Dorian’s eyes went wide, and he swallowed before coughing frantically. “Dude, can you wait with saying shit like that until I’m not drinking? I’ll have you know that this wine is intended to be drunk, not snorted out through my nose.”
Ryder grinned. “What, because it’s such high quality?”
“I paid a whole ten bucks for that bottle, asshole. You’d better appreciate it.”
“I do. You know how much I love hanging out with you.”
Dorian let out a sigh. “If you move, you won’t be here that often anymore. It will be like when you were with Paul. I loved having you close.”
He’d spent more and more time with Dorian, eager to escape his parents. They were nothing but nice, but he felt suffocated. “Same. But I promise it won’t be like that. That was because Paul…”
“…didn’t like me,” Dorian filled in the rest.
“Yeah. And I was stupid enough to attach way too much weight to his opinion. You not liking him should’ve been a red flag.”
Dorian put his hand on top of Ryder’s. “It’s okay. You’ll know better next time.”
“Oh, there won’t be a next time.”
“What? You plan on being single for the rest of your life? You’ll end up like a sad fiftysomething who’s still chasing tail, convinced that he’s just as hot as he was thirty years before.”
“Jesus, that’s quite the picture you’re painting there. No, not for the rest of my life. Just for now, for the foreseeable future. At least until I know I’m smart enough not to erase myself for a guy ever again.”
“I understand where you’re coming from, but don’t close yourself off from possibilities, is all I’m saying.”
Ryder frowned. Dorian’s words sounded an awful lot like what Branson had said to him. “Possibilities? What do you mean?”
“Like, I don’t know, maybe the sexual attraction between you and Branson could grow into something more.”
“Branson? Fuck, no.”
“Why? What’s wrong with him?”
“Where do I start? We’re coworkers, so there’s that. Plus, he’s annoying. At least, he used to be. I think he’s changed, or maybe I’ve grown more accustomed to it. And he’s hot and all, and the sex is great, but we have little in common other than that we both work for the CIA. Not exactly a stellar base.”
“Didn’t you say he was easy to talk to? That you had fun conversations with him?”
Ryder waved his hand dismissively. “Sure, but Branson can converse with anyone. He’s super socially gifted.”
“Ah, okay.”
“We’re opposites. He’s an extrovert, whereas I’m an introvert. He’s a people person, while I’m into numbers. He’s good at languages, and I’m a math whiz.”
“Gotcha. In that case, I say go for it.”
Ryder frowned in confusion. “Go for what? I just told you I don’t need any more from him than sex.”
“I meant go for it as roommates. If you’re convinced he’s all wrong for you, there’s no harm in moving in with him, right? If that weren’t the case, you’d have to fear getting sucked into a relationship that you don’t want, but since that’s not the case, you’re all good.”
“Right.” Something about Dorian’s tone was off, but Ryder couldn’t put his finger on it. His friend sounded a tad too…happy? Almost smug, but that didn’t make sense. Nah, he was imagining things. “So you think it’s the right choice to accept his offer?”
“Absolutely. You said his place is nice and tidy, which is important to you, and you have work schedules that are well aligned. Plus, you’re both gay, so no awkwardness or issues there. If either of you decided to have sex with someone else, that wouldn’t be a problem.”
Have sex with someone else? Why would Ryder even want that? Not that he wanted to idolize it, but the sex with Branson had been spectacular, exactly what Ryder craved, so why would he try to find someone else?
Oh, wait. Branson might. They weren’t exclusive. If Branson wanted, he could find someone else and bring him home. That was what Dorian was talking about. That wouldn’t be awkward, since they were both gay, and Ryder didn’t want more with Branson anyway. Then why did the idea of Branson with someone else make Ryder uncomfortable? It had to be because he was too used to thinking in relationship terms, a remnant of the insecurity Paul had caused with his cheating.
“Yes, all that. And it cuts my commute back by forty-five minutes at least, which saves me an hour and a half a day. That’s a big one for me. And I think we’re well suited as roommates. We eat the same kinds of food, and like you said, we both value tidiness and cleanliness.”
“Sounds perfect to me.”
“Glad you agree. I’m hoping to move in tomorrow afternoon. I love my folks, but my mom gave me the third degree about where I had spent the night. The sooner I get out of there, the better. Any chance you could help? I’ll rent a small van for a couple of hours.”
“Shouldn’t be an issue, providing my parents can babysit Amelia. Let me text my mom.”
While Dorian texted his mom, Ryder went over what he’d need to buy in his head. His parents had said he could bring the queen bed he had in his bedroom at their house. They wouldn’t have a place for it in their much smaller home anyway, so he was all set there. The room in Branson’s apartment had a closet that would be large enough for Ryder’s clothes. He didn’t have that many.
His books, that was the biggest issue. He’d packed them up in boxes that were still in his parents’ garage, but he’d have to find another place for them. The bookcases in Branson’s living room had been full, so maybe he’d have to buy another two Billy bookcases. His room should be able to accommodate that, though he also liked the idea of putting them in the living room, next to Branson’s. It would complement the whole look, and the living room was spacious enough for two more. He’d have to ask him.
“My mom is happy to babysit, so I can help tomorrow. What time do you want me to be at your parents’?”
“Maybe around three? I’ll make sure everything is packed so we can load it.”
“Sure, no problem.”
Ryder put his glass down and dropped sideways against Dorian, who put his arm around him and pulled him close. “I promise I won’t ignore you like before. I’ll drive up here at least once a week to hang out with you.”
“Yes, please…and bring Branson sometime. I’d like to meet him.”
“You want to meet Branson?” Ryder turned around and rested his head on Dorian’s thigh, facing him. “Why?”
“Because you’ll be spending a lot of time with him, whether in bed or otherwise, and I want to see the man who you talk about so much.”
“I don’t talk about him that much.”
“More than about anyone else, let me put it that way.”
A strange sadness filled Ryder. “That’s because I have no friends other than you. Who else am I going to talk about? Paul?”
Dorian shuddered. “Please, let’s leave Dr. Dick out of this. And I know what you mean. All I can talk about is Amelia…and you if it’s to someone other than you.”
“When did we turn into these sad guys whose social circle is nonexistent? For me, that was all Paul. Thanks to him, I lost contact with most of my friends over the last few years. That’s something I’ll never do again, I swear.”
Dorian squeezed his shoulder. “Maybe you can reach out to some of them and explain. I’m sure they’ll understand.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“That doesn’t sound like you plan to.”
“Not anytime soon, no. Work is crazy at the moment. I can’t tell you what I’m working on, but it’s big, and it’s taking up all my time.”
“Is Branson working on the same project?”
“He is. We work well together. He’s very intuitive, thinking out of the box, and I’m super structured and linear, so we complement each other well.” His cheeks grew warm when he remembered. “Heeder, the director of the CIA, complimented me last week, telling me I’d done a great job. Proud moment.”
Dorian’s eyes lit up. “That’s amazing, Ry! Wow, high praise from the director himself. That alone should tell you how important your job is, regardless of what Dr. Dick thought.”
“Thank you. It’s highly fulfilling.”
They chatted for a while, but the whole time, Ryder’s mind kept returning to Dorian’s reaction about Branson. Why had his words felt off, as if he’d said one thing but had meant something else? Dorian wouldn’t lie to him, that much Ryder knew for a fact, but what had he picked up on, then?
He had to bring it up. If he didn’t, it would bug him for days. “Did you mean what you said about me moving in with Branson being a good idea?”
When Dorian didn’t answer, he sat up straight.
“Why do you ask?” Dorian said eventually, looking guilty.
“There was subtext, and it’s driving me crazy because I don’t understand what you were trying to say.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frustrate you.”
“So I was right. There was subtext.”
“Ry…” Dorian reached for his hand. “Sometimes I struggle if I should tell you something or if you need to figure it out for yourself. When you were talking about Branson and your decision to move in, I picked up on something, but I don’t know if you’re ready to hear it or not. And I realize how cryptic this sounds, but it’s the best I can do.”
“Was it something good? Something that would make me happy?”
Dorian smiled. “To hear? Not at the moment, I think. But if I’m right, yes.”
Ryder took a deep breath. “Then I’ll figure it out myself. You wouldn’t keep something crucial from me, like something that would hurt me not to know.”
“Never,” Dorian swore.
“Thank you for giving me the space to discover whatever it is at my own pace.”
“You’re welcome. Now, go home and get a good night’s sleep so you’re all rested for moving day tomorrow. I’m counting on the two of you fucking like bunnies in the beginning, and since I’m living vicariously through you, I want every sexy detail.”
Ryder laughed so hard it hurt.
