Dungeon Master by Golden Angel
Chapter Twelve
Leah
She woke up fast and hard, her brain pinging her that something was different. Not wrong, but different. She wasn’t in her own bed, for one, and there was someone else in bed with her.
Simon?
No. Of course not. The little spots of pain all over her body and the feeling of being completely satiated told her that.
She’d had a date with Simon, but she’d ended her night with Gavin. Like the nincompoop she was.
Mistakes… I’ve made a few…
Was it a mistake?
As the events of last night came back to her, like a film reel playing out to her conscious mind now that she was fully awake, she had to admit she wasn’t sure. She’d gone into the Outlands expecting it to be like any other scene from the past decade, thinking in the back of her mind it would be like setting a reset button on how she viewed Gavin.
There’d be pain, pleasure, then they’d end the evening by going their separate ways, the way they always did, and everything would feel the same way it had for years.
Except that wasn’t what happened.
She’d hit a level of submission she hadn’t allowed in years. Subconsciously she hadn’t trusted Gavin enough to give her submission in years, but last night, her subconscious defenses had apparently decided to fuck off, and he got in her head. The pleasure had been greater, but so were the repercussions.
There had been no way she could have driven herself home last night, so instead of driving her there, Gavin had taken her to his condo. It wasn’t the first time she’d been here, they’d occasionally scened here as well, but it was the first time in years she’d slept over.
“The first time in years” was apparently her new mantra, and she wasn’t sure she liked it. Right now, she felt raw, and not just her body parts. Last night, Gavin had done more than make himself vulnerable. He’d exposed all the wounded parts of her she’d kept shielded for so long and touched them.
The urge to get away and hide was so strong, it left her choked up and breathless as if she couldn’t get enough air down her throat and into her lungs. Panic clawing its way up her chest, she squirmed away from the muscled arm around her waist, the hot body pressing into her back.
Who knew getting everything she wanted could be so scary?
Maybe because you don’t know if you’re getting everything you want yet. It just feels like you could. You also know that means risking losing it all over again.
Yeah, that sounded right.
Crap, she needed to get out of here. She needed time and space to process. She also needed to get home to Oliver. Her poor kitty had now been left alone all night twice in the past few weeks. At least she was partially dressed. Somehow, she’d ended up in one of Gavin’s shirts rather than the dress she’d been wearing for her date last night and no underwear. She didn’t want to think about how much she didn’t want to take off Gavin’s shirt.
Why were men’s shirts so much more comfortable than her own? Not ‘men’ as in all men’s clothes, but when something belonged to a specific man, somehow it became softer and more comfortable…
Oh my God, get yourself together and get out of here.
Sliding off the bed, she let out a very soft sigh of relief when she managed it without waking Gavin. Lying on his side, no longer curled around her, he still maintained the position he’d been in when she’d been snuggled up beside him. Thank goodness he was still a deep sleeper. He still looked so good in his sleep. Older than the young man she’d fallen in love with, but when she’d been young and imagining the future, she’d pictured waking up to this every morning.
Something inside her softened yet panicked at the same time. Yeah, she needed to get out of here. The yearning in her heart was becoming a little scary, and she needed to get that under control before she decided her next move.
Thankfully, her phone was on the nightstand. Gavin had driven them here last night since she’d been too out of it to demand to be taken home. Either way, her car would have been at the Outlands, so she would have needed a ride over there. Waking him up to give her a ride… yeah, no.
Most awkward morning after ever.
Quickly shooting off a text to Cyana, she asked if she was up and could pick her up from Gavin’s—wincing slightly at the scolding she was sure would be coming her way, but that’s exactly why she’d texted Cyana. Not only did Esther have kids and Jax to contend with on the weekend mornings, she also tended to be a little more romantic and a little more forgiving. Cyana was the hardass.
She’d be the best at helping Leah decide if she was making a huge mistake. Sugarcoating things was not part of her personality, which was what Leah needed right now—a reality check. Her own judgment couldn’t be trusted. Her judgment had sent her to the Outlands last night, where she’d not only scened with Gavin but had let down her guard against him further than she could countenance, then gone home with him and slept all night in his bed.
Yup. She was not to be trusted. That’s for sure.
Relief and gratitude swept through her when Cyana texted her back almost immediately, saying she was on her way. She’d probably literally dropped everything she was doing after getting the text.
“What are ye doing?”
The thick Scottish brogue rolling Gavin’s ‘r’ seemed even thicker than usual. Leah froze, turning her head to see him blinking at her from the bed.
Shit. Caught.
* * *
Gavin
Even as he asked, Gavin knew the answer. Running. She was running. Again. Just like she had in the past. Hurt and anger rose up, and he barely managed to tamp it down. He always woke up grouchy, and there was a part of him that knew he wasn’t being fair.
He’d talked with Dr. Silverwood about this. He saw it as Leah running and refusing to work things out, but he’d had to acknowledge, Leah had tried to work things out before she left. He just hadn’t known what the stakes were… because she hadn’t told him.
That’s what they were going to work on and why they were going to Dr. Silverwood this week. Together.
Memory of that triumph soothed the hurt and anger. He let them go. They were a reaction and not a particularly useful one in this instance. Besides, he’d somewhat anticipated this when he’d made the decision to bring her home with him, but he hadn’t been able to help himself. She’d been in no shape to drive her own car, and taking her home and leaving her there by herself had felt impossible. He’d also known she’d be even more upset if he invaded her space, and they woke up together in her bed.
“I, uh…” Her gaze flitted away from his, eyes averting. Cell phone in one hand, her fingers on the other hand, plucking nervously at the hem of his shirt—he did like seeing her wearing his shirt again—she resembled a startled deer. “I need to go.”
“Alright. I’ll take you back to the Outlands.”
“Right… um.” Her grip tightened on her phone. “You don’t have to. I have a ride.”
“Cancel it. There’s no point in someone going out of their way when I can take you straight there.” He was countering with logic, but the truth was, he wasn’t quite ready to let her go yet. Didn’t want her retreating until he was able to have some kind of final say.
“Oh… well, right, that makes sense.” She muttered something under her breath he couldn’t quite hear, but he was pretty sure it was a curse word.
Amused, Gavin got out of bed, pretending he didn’t notice her texting while he got dressed, pretending he didn’t notice the appreciative glances she kept shooting him. He did notice and preened a little. Might not be as young as he once was, but he was proud of the shape he kept himself in.
He knew he was looking back at her the same way. Fuck, but he’d missed seeing her in the mornings, blonde hair mussed and falling in waves around her shoulders, cheeks pink, and he really couldn’t emphasize enough how much he liked seeing her in his shirt again.
“Do you want to change?” he asked casually, hoping the answer was no. “I have some pants you can wear if you don’t want to wear your dress from last night.”
“Pants would be great, thanks.” Her cheeks turned a little pinker, and Gavin grinned as he reached into one of his drawers to get a pair of pants that were a little tight on him after shrinking in the wash. They had a drawstring, so they’d fit her well enough. He could only hope the reason she agreed was she didn’t want to give up his clothes. If he lost a couple items of clothing to her today, he’d be thrilled.
“Do you want breakfast? Coffee?” he asked, handing her the pants. Leah kept avoiding his gaze, and inwardly, he sighed. At least she was taking his clothes. He’d count that as a win.
“Um, no, I’ll eat when I get home. Sorry, I have a lot to do today.”
Liar, liar, the pants he’d just given her were already on fire. Gavin didn’t call her on it. She needed space after last night, and even though it killed him, he knew he needed to give it to her. One step at a time. They’d scened together, she’d slept over at his house, was wearing his clothes home, and going to therapy with him on Wednesday.
Actually, when he thought about it like that, this wasn’t so bad. Feeling slightly cheered, he finished getting dressed. By the time he was done, Leah was fidgeting, frowning slightly at whatever thoughts were running through her busy brain.
The frown was something he could do without.
“How’s your arse,” he asked, coming up alongside her and cupping the anatomy in question.
Squeaking, Leah slapped at his hand, shifting away. Her cheeks were even hotter. “It’s fine!”
Chuckling, Gavin stepped away. Well, at least she wasn’t frowning anymore. Blushing, but also hiding a smile. Much better.
* * *
Leah
The car ride back to the Outlands was thankfully short and not nearly as awkward as she’d worried it would be. Gavin put the radio on and didn’t try to make conversation; he hummed along with the songs instead. Leah shifted in her seat, only a little uncomfortable. Last night’s spanking lingered, and her nipples were still sore, both things a lot more noticeable now that she wasn’t focused on trying to sneak out the door without waking Gavin.
She hadn’t expected him to be flirtatiously good-humored this morning. He was grouchy in the morning at the best of times, and after waking up and catching her on her way out the door, she figured there’d be a blow-up.
Instead, he had her as off-kilter as he had the night before.
Dammit. She really could have used Cyana’s reality check.
Pulling up alongside her car, Gavin smiled at her with a smugness that made her itch to smack him. He knew he’d gotten under her skin, and it was making her feel extra defensive—both the fact he’d gotten under her skin and that he knew it. The big jerk.
“I’ll see you on Wednesday then?”
Crap. Right. Wednesday, when she’d agreed to go to therapy with him. The small space inside the car felt as if it was getting smaller. She was walking down a road she wasn’t sure she wanted to travel again, but she couldn’t seem to find a good offramp, but she’d agreed.
She did want to know what a therapist had to say. Maybe she’d finally be able to vent everything and let all her emotions go.
“Yes, text me the details,” she said, nodding and getting out of the car before he could do anything like lean in and try to kiss her.
So why was she so disappointed when he waved his hand and drove off as soon as she was in her own car?