The Anti-Crush by Harper West
2
Elizabeth
"Guess what?"McKenzie's loud, boisterous voice bellowed, echoing through our tiny dorm apartment.
I nearly leaped out of my skin as my glasses tumbled down my nose and fell onto the textbook in front of me.
After that horrid date, I'd found even more reason to bury myself in books and had nearly lost touch with reality—which was my goal. I didn’t need any more Nathan Philips in my life. Two hours at dinner subtly reminding him of what a douchebag he had been in high school didn’t appear to faze him one bit. In fact, he seemed to conveniently forget how heinous his behavior was back then.
And with his obvious lack of self-awareness, that dinner was about all the Nathan Phillips I could stomach for at least another five years.
"Guess what," she repeated. I groaned. If she were asking, it wasn't good news.
"What?" I asked, staring up at the beautiful mess that was McKenzie.
“So…” she said, dragging out the O sound for several seconds as if she were contemplating how to drop a bomb on me as gently as possible. Coming from Kenzie, it would be atomic level and she’d drop it like it was nothing.
I raised my brow. She appeared absolutely delighted, and I was certain she was preparing to tell me something that would disrupt my study plans.
"So...?" I asked hesitantly as I looked up at her, giving her my full attention. "What now?"
"It's my third date with Tanner and we're going to the movies tonight." She spun around and giggled, unable to restrain how ecstatic she was. Oddly, this was part of the story I had written for the two of them while I’d sat in the booth at the beginning of our date. I should have just stuck to writing short stories and people watching that night, it was far more entertaining. "He's so sweet, Eli. Every time I'm around him, it's just like...wow," she gushed, her voice becoming sort of quiet and reverent, a rarity for her.
I smiled at her warmly, genuinely glad to see her so happy. "That's wonderful, Kenz, but what on earth does that have to do with me?" I asked, puzzled.
She giggled mischievously in response, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to muzzle her or run. Here we go, I thought. This was the part where she would drag me along on some adventure that I hated at first, but would eventually grow to love. At least most of the time, that was how it ended up working out.
"Just bear with me, okay? You're going to have fun. I promise!" If she had to go as far promising fun, then it meant there was a high probability that I wouldn’t have any.
The bigger the pitch from Kenz, the harder the sell for me.
"Get to the point, Kenz."
"So Tanner is bringing his friend, and I thought it would be just super fun and exciting to maybe set you up on another date with him!" she blurted.
I sighed and rubbed my forehead exasperatedly. McKenzie and Tanner had been in another world entirely at dinner that night if she thought another evening with Nathan would be fun for me. Had she even looked at me for a second, she would have caught the digs. There would have been no way she would have missed the references to the pranks he and his friends pulled on me in high school, the names they’d called me, and the ways they’d tortured me. She also would have picked up on his total denial that any of it had ever taken place and the tidbits he did “admit” to, he almost made them sound cute and innocent—jerk.
"McKenzie… I don’t know." I didn't bother to remind her of any of the details she’d missed on the date. I didn't want to dampen her good mood by telling her my depressing high school story. And the truth was, it was embarrassing and wasn’t something I cared to relive. Even the casual innuendo I’d tossed out to Nathan here and there at dinner was more than I really wanted to rehash. So I took the easy way out. "Look, I have a lot of homework to do. I need to study for this exam, and—"
"Oh, but he's super, super hot and sweet and smart, and I think you two would actually get along really well once you spent more time together," she argued.
I raised my brow. “You barely know him, Kenz.”
"Neither do you,” she quipped back, and it took everything in me to keep my mouth shut. “Look, just trust me on this one. When have I ever led you astray?"
"Uh, I could think of a few times, actually.”
"It was a rhetorical question," she responded, placing her hands on her narrow hips. "Okay, okay, I know, not all my ideas pan out perfectly, but this is for real. You've been talking about how lonely you are and how none of those stupid dating apps have ever worked out for you, so why not try something different?" she pleaded. "Give Nathan a chance."
“I’m not lonely, I’m busy.” It was a lie, and we both knew it.
“Life is about connecting, Eli. What’s the point of creating an amazing life if you don’t have anyone to share it with?”
Ugh. I hated when she had a good point. If I were honest, Nathan was really good-looking, and when I’d shut my mouth long enough to listen when he spoke to me, he was funny and seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say. Maybe he had changed?
And maybe hell had frozen over.
Either way, my BFF needed me, and I was never one to shirk my duties. Plus, I’d get a free popcorn and soda out of it. Oh, and M&M’s—can’t forget those. That had to count as a win, right?
There was also another reason to go. The one I conveniently kept telling myself didn’t matter. A reason that was beneath me.
See, there was a part of me that wanted to see him again.
Why? Because I wanted to shove the new me in his face. To let him see that all the shit he’d put me through hadn’t ruined me. That seeing him again didn’t intimidate me. That the hold he had on me was gone.
Fuck, high school really did a number on some of us, didn’t it?
"Fine. I'll do it,” I said. "But if things go to shit, I’m out of there in a heartbeat. Got it?”
"Of course!" she cheered excitedly. "But it won’t, because this is going to be awesome.” Kenzie bounced on the balls of her feet when she clapped her hands together. “I have one of my feelings." Her feelings usually led to one or both of us drunk with a hula hoop on a bar top— which, thankfully, didn’t happen often. But when Kenzie got a feeling, she got a feeling.
"Give me a few minutes to get ready." I headed over to my room to change into a slightly more appropriate outfit than pajama pants and an oversized T-shirt. As I started to undress and change into some sensible jeans and a blouse, McKenzie piped up again.
"Oh, we're meeting them at a restaurant down the street from the theater first. It's nothing fancy. I figured we'd grab a quick bite to eat, and then we'd head over to the movies and see what's playing when we get there!" she said. I nodded begrudgingly.
Everything about McKenzie was spontaneous, and right now, I kind of despised it. I didn't want to ruin her third date, so I was going to have to suck it up and spend the evening with Nathan Phillips. If I were honest, there had been moments that were tolerable—like when he’d talked about his niece and his dog. Things that made him seem less… terrible. And more human. Maybe I could get him to tell me about them again.
I quickly changed clothes and walked into our shared bathroom. I never was one for wearing much makeup or using a lot of hair products. The two sides of the sink couldn't possibly be any different. On her side, it looked like a Sephora store had exploded, leaving behind dozens of high-end palettes, creams, pencils, and powders, while mine had a few basic products arranged neatly in a semicircle. Pretty much just a concealer and a neutral eyeshadow palette that I had owned for years. I touched up my face a bit and applied a light coat of brown mascara.
"Eli, let's go," McKenzie shouted as I put the cap back onto the tube. For someone who wanted my company so bad, she sure didn’t want to give me much time to make myself presentable.
"I'm coming, I'm coming," I said and jogged after her. She was already on her way toward the car and was sliding into the driver's seat as I reached her.
"Aw, don't you look cute," she said as she put the car into drive.
Cute wasn't exactly what I was going for. Invisible would be preferable to cute, but I guess if I had to do the double date thing again, I’d rather be cute than the myriad of names Nathan had called me in high school. Cute would certainly be an improvement over Chunk.
"You're really quiet," she said after we'd driven for a few minutes.
I shrugged. I didn’t have anything to say.
McKenzie pouted a little, her bottom lip jutting out as she frowned. Keeping her eyes on the road, she asked, "What's wrong?"
I hesitated, not wanting to cause an issue, but I knew the longer I resisted, the more irritated she would become. "We weren't friends in high school. Nathan and I, I mean.”
"Well, I figured that much, but why is that a bad thing? Now could be your time to connect. You need to give him a chance," she said as she slowed to a stop at a red light.
I huffed in annoyance. "Our junior year, I had English with him," I started to explain as we were stopped at the traffic light.
She briefly took her attention off the road to turn to me and listen to my story.
"He drove me absolutely nuts asking for help on every single assignment. He constantly flirted with this girl who sat next to him, and the two of them were always so obnoxious together, yammering on behind me about all kinds of random crap."
"That's all? He was a little annoying? It's been years, Elizabeth. He's changed a lot since then!" she replied. The light changed to green, and she turned her attention back to the road and her GPS's directions. We were about five minutes away from the restaurant.
"I'm not finished," I continued. "Well, one time, I wasn't able to help him because we were taking an exam. I guess for some reason, he thought it would be a great idea to try to cheat off my answers and our teacher caught him for it almost immediately. He was humiliated. He failed the test and probably would have been kicked out of the class too, if it weren't for how insanely charismatic he was and how much the teacher liked him. He begged and begged her for another chance."
"Oh, wow. I didn't know it was like that," she said sheepishly. "What did the teacher say?" she asked.
"You are approaching your destination,"the GPS mounted on the dashboard chirped.
"Well, he got another chance to prove himself, but his friends were total jerks to me after that...for no reason! Like, it was my fault he failed the test. They would laugh at me any time I would answer questions in class. His best friend tripped me once when I was carrying my books to my seat. All of Nate’s friends spread rumors about me and basically made the high school experience miserable. And Nate didn't do anything to discourage them. It was awful." I kept the really bad stuff to myself. I couldn’t bring myself to relive the more painful things Nathan had been a part of that had made my high school experience miserable
McKenzie looked genuinely regretful as she pulled into a parking space in front of the restaurant. She stared down at her lap and bit her lip. "Elizabeth, I’m so, so sorry. We can bail if you want," she said. "I mean, I think he’s changed and matured a lot, but you don't have to go through with this if you really don't want to."
I shrugged and opened the passenger side door. "No, it's okay. It's your date, too. I want you to have fun with Tanner. He really seems to like you." And maybe in the process, Nathan could prove that he really had changed. Or get a dose of much needed humility from the new me.
"Are you sure?" she asked, hesitantly, climbing out of the car and pressing the lock button on her key fob. "Gosh, Elizabeth, I really didn't know." Had she been even remotely aware of what was going on around her on date number one, she would be keenly aware of my animosity toward Nathan, but I wouldn’t begrudge her being preoccupied with Tanner. Somehow, I’d deal with Nathan, even if it killed me.
"It's fine, seriously. We're already here, and we might as well go through with it, right?"
"Well...if you say so," Her trademark smile returned to her face. "If you start feeling uncomfortable, just...I don't know, signal that to me somehow, and we'll get out of here, okay?"
I smiled back at her as we entered the restaurant. "It's all good. And anyway, it’s just a few hours. How bad could it be?"
As I followed behind McKenzie, I hoped that my last words hadn’t jinxed the whole damn night.
