Daddy’s Nervous Little by Jess Winters
CHAPTER 8
Lawrence
For a moment, I think she will refuse. I can see the battle she’s fighting with herself; I can see it in her eyes. Finally, though, she slowly unbuttons her dress and lets it fall over her shoulders to pool on the floor. She wore nothing beneath the dress and the sight of her naked body might be the most powerful sight I have ever seen. I do all I can to keep the instantaneous arousal I feel from clouding my mind. She says softly, “If you think I need it, Daddy,” she says, “then it’s what I want.”
The submission she offers is beautiful and I stare at her for a long while, taking in the sight of her. She waits patiently and looks a little nervous and a little ashamed, which is only natural I suppose. I step inside and close the door behind me. Now I’m close to her, and the closeness is extraordinary. I make my way forward and past her until I can sit on the couch. She’s finished her internal battle because when she turns around she doesn’t hesitate, but steps up to me and then lays herself over my lap.
Dear God, the feel of her body over me!
Dear God, the sight of her body!
Dear God! Dear God!
I steady myself and then I ask softly, “Are you stupid? You say you’re stupid often. Are you stupid?”
She gulps and she says, “No, Daddy.”
“Are you a failure, little girl?”
“No, Daddy,” she says softly, but not timidly. She’s afraid, but she’s afraid of the spanking, not of her words.
“Are your words important?”
“Yes, Daddy,” she says. I can hear the sobbing in her voice. She’ll be weeping soon. My heart melts and the spanking hasn’t even started. For a moment I’m not sure I should go through with it. I know she needs it, though. I also know I really want to do it, and that’s a problem.
“Do you know why this has to happen?” I ask.
“I’m… I’m self-destructive because for a short while it feels better than facing reality. I need to feel the pain now instead of it being… Because I need to stop doing things that hurt me, Daddy. I need to learn how it hurts me later even if it feels safer now.” She says the last part as though it’s a question and not an answer.
“This isn’t a test, little girl. I need to know you understand it.”
She sighs and says with no trace of doubt at all, “I need to treat myself right, Daddy. I need to stop ruining things that are good for me because I’m afraid I’ll ruin them. I call myself stupid all the time but the only stupid thing I do is screwing up good things because I’m afraid of being stupid later. I need this spanking, Daddy, because I need you, and because I need you be able to hold me accountable.”
Her tone isn’t questioning at all. I marvel at this change in her. It may be the first time I’ve heard her speak with confidence. That turns me on even more. It also makes me realize what I might have lost and the desolation and anger I felt when I got her text returns. I have to take a deep breath before I continue. “You’re right, little girl,” I say. “But I may not be strong enough to spank you right now.”
She lifts herself up and stares at me. “But… but why?”
I take a deep breath. Admitting what I’m about to admit isn’t going to be easy for me. I say softly, “Because I was very hurt when you cut things off the way you did. I think I’ll need to handle this spanking tomorrow. Otherwise I might spank you out of anger, and that would make the spanking about me instead of about you.”
“You…” She’s struggling again but it isn’t an emotional struggle. She’s trying to find the right words. “This… all of this… It’s really about helping me.” Her voice is filled with wonder.
“It’s the only thing that matters to me, little girl,” I say. I mean that, but on the same token it is damn difficult to deny that another thing that matters to me at the moment is the fact that right in front of me is the most beautiful girl on Earth. She’s naked. She’s naked and she’s absolutely perfect.
She says, “Even though I hurt you, the spanking was never about that. I mean, I understood that, but I think I always would have thought somewhere in the back of my mind, at least a little bit, that it was you being angry with me, you being hurt. You… you don’t just talk the talk.”
I don’t know exactly how to respond. I finally manage, “For you, I’ll always walk the walk.” I think it’s a pretty lame thing to say.
Wendy doesn’t.
She rushes forward and straddles me. “Oh God, I need you, Daddy,” she says. I’m surprised and I also can’t figure out if she means she needs the relationship, or if she means she wants sex. When she whispers, “Fuck me, Daddy. God, please! Fuck me,” I figure it out.
