Tarnished Love by Bianca Borell

 

 

FILIP

 

As the board meeting progresses, Bria and Damien try to keep ahead of discussion of the many unresolved issues. I wonder why she returned. Probably for Damien. A headache throbs behind my eyes. I should go home and try to sleep, but I can’t.

When Bria hugs me, for one moment I stiffen and then relax and wrap my arms around her. I am still mad at her, but she’s here, and if she gives me something to hold on to, I’ll try. As long as no surprises find me, I’ll be fine.

“She’s different,” Sophia whispers as she accompanies me to the car. “Go get some sleep, you look pale,” she chastises, and I rub my eyes. I nod and slide into the driver’s seat. I start the engine while she and Alexander share a moment. I have never shared so many talks and beers with anyone else. He understands heartbreak. Alex is not a bad guy, and on a certain level I like him even more as a human being, but he will always love my sister and put her first. Sophia is a spoiled princess who wants someone’s all and will eventually come to realize she deserves more. We all break hearts because our own are broken.

You should learn to love first if you don’t want to hurt the person you love. The question remains, after how many trials can you say you know how?

 

***

 

“What happened here? What’s wrong?” I ask but my mom and Rebecca share a look that gives nothing away but obviously something big happened. When I dart through the summer kitchen back outside to the porch, I greet my dad, Andrew, Sophia, and Alex and halt when I spot Bria and Damien sitting next to each other. I guess they are trying to be civil again. Good.

But with every passing moment, the realization dawns on me that they’re back together. My head throbs with a headache and anger ripples through me. I can’t explain why, but it consumes me. I am about to explode, but Sophia interlinks our fingers, squeezing to calm me. When Bria tells her story, a story I thought I was aware of all facets, my emotions claw at me as a bear with his prey. My chest pounds with the hurt of her lies. She stared us in the eye and lied to us.

“I need to go.” She rushes to me, but I can’t do this, not now. My gaze lands on my parents, I need to blame someone, anyone, but they knew nothing either.

The next day, I move back to London to distance myself from everyone. I need time to process.

At the bar, a sense of deja vu hits me.

“Anna.”

“Filip.” We stare at each other. It was just one woman I slept with, and it wasn’t worth it. Chloe was with someone else too, but why does it feel like my betrayal topped everything. Oh, right, I love to be on top.

“I regret that night, and we didn’t even actually do it.” The knowledge eases something in me.

“I am sure.”

“She is my best friend.”

“You didn’t know.”

“Did you?”

“Does it matter?”

“I wanted a one-night stand, not almost losing my best friend.”

Don’t ask. I even take two sips of whiskey, but the question spills out.

“How is she?”

“Hurt, closed off. You don’t seem like a bad guy, so why?”

“I was too drunk to put it all together.”

“You should talk to her, just . . .”

“No.” I squeeze my eyes shut and slam the glass on the bar.

“Why?”

“She started this.”

She sips from her beer while I take some cash and pay for both of us.

“No.” I can’t argue anymore, missing her exhausts me, and I hate her more for missing her. I fucked up all right, but why did she cheat on me? Why not say it to my face?

 

***

 

Anger and excitement buzz inside me knowing I will see Chloe again tonight. And when she steps inside, my mouth waters, my heart aches, my hands itch. In a plunging neckline, metallic black jumpsuit, her shoulders high, her lips painted red, she holds my attention captive. Her smile slips off her face when she finds me, her eyes stab me, and chills roll down my spine, turning to an anger that blinds me. All I see is her wrapped around the old dick and wonder how many after him. She taps me on my shoulder, I yank my arm away and grit my teeth. In her most saccharine voice, she asks me to bring her a glass.

Everyone stares at us, soon they’ll know we almost happened, no we did happen, we just ended without having really started. I down my glass, and in the car, the tension rises between us. I snap and silence and gasps follow. Now everyone thinks I cheated with her best friend and on purpose. I could set this straight. I don’t, her hurt and pain the only evidence she must have felt something for me.

She looks beautiful and sexy as fuck. No one compares to her. For me, there is no other woman. I miss the fuck out of her.

“You hurt her,” Damien says while Bria and Chloe disappear into the bathroom.

“You are the last person to lecture me on this.” He winces while he shoots me a look filled with venom. Yes, he still didn’t forgive me, but I didn’t know the entire truth either.

“I warned you.”

“It’s too late anyway, ask her.”

“Dumbass, she is amazing. Why would you mess with that?”

I gulp my drink, the warmth sliding down my throat. When she returns, those long legs, those eyes framed between thick, curled lashes, and I take another gulp.

“Why did you cheat on her?” Bria asks.

“Did she tell you she cheated on me first?”

“No.”

I scroll through my phone and show her the infamous picture while she analyses it, before snatching my phone and shows it to Chloe whose eyes widen. Got you!

“Filip, you idiot,” Damien mumbles and consoles Chloe. “It’s her dad.”

She heads to the dance floor and moves on the beats, more like riding them, and when a guy places his hands around her, I bolt to them and punch him in the face. And then Chloe gasps and shoves at my chest.

It’s a rush how we leave the club. I am so mad at myself I would punch myself if I could. I peek at her while she curses my name. I deserve it, and I’ll take whatever she throws at me. Please forgive me. I don’t say it out loud though. First, I have to sleep this drunkenness off and then get her back. When she stumbles from the car, her words pierce me.

“I only let one man inside, it was you, and you wrecked me.”

Fuck the fix this when we’re sober, we can fix this drunk as well. I tumble from the car and wobble toward her when she slaps me.

“Go away.”

“No.”

“Fine, what do I care?” she cries and passes by me.

On the stairs she stumbles, and I catch her, but we trip and I end up with my back hitting the edge of the stair, and I hiss. Fuck, that hurt, but she’s on top of me, and everything else is forgotten. Her eyes glisten, my love for her pushing me to act. I missed her. I cage her face in my trembling hands, and she remains still, so still, but her breaths are ragged. She’s as affected as I am. I kiss her, and my entire body clicks into the “on” position.

“Let me in.”

We end up crashing on her bed, forgetting everything else except us, again entwined in each other. I lose myself in her body, making her come, while she whispers my name in the night, as if I am a sin she can’t stop committing. I don’t care, I just want her. As I spill inside her, I tell her that. She’ll be my everything, but first she’ll give me what I want—her. I drift off to sleep, ease settling inside me.