Tarnished Love by Bianca Borell
FILIP
“How do I get her back?”
“Filip, I have work to do, and every second I talk to you it’s one I don’t spend with Bria.”
“Damien, I swear I’ll drive you crazy.”
“You won’t give up, will you?”
“No, so you better give me some tips.”
He drags in a lungful of air, but I have him, and I breathe a sigh of relief. I have to get her back. I can’t focus, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat.
“Chloe has trust problems.”
“I know that.”
“You slept with her best friend.”
“If someone says that one more time, I am going to snap.”
“She will hold on to that.”
“How do I stop that?”
“Not all women are like us, to fuck for fuck’s sake, for some of them sex means something more.”
“You’re not helping.”
“Why are you asking me? I fucked up so much it’s a wonder your sister accepted me back.”
“She loves you.”
“There you have it, if she loves you, she’ll take you back.”
“You are not helping.”
I hang up and call Soph.
“How do I get her back?”
“You slept with her best friend.”
I end the phone call and shout. My assistant darts inside my office to see what’s happening.
“Get out.”
I call my sister.
“Hi, sis. How do I get her back?”
Please don’t say it.
“Give her something she can hold on to instead.” I breathe and put her words through my thought filter.
“How do I do that?”
“Filip, you know her best, so deep down you search for what she needs. Start with that.”
“Thank you. How are you?”
“I want this wedding over, these two drive me crazy.”
I chuckle, it’s so good to have her back.
When I hang up it hits me. I search for Anabelle and drive to the hotel she manages. When she sees me, a certain caution flashes in her eyes.
“I come in peace.”
“Come on, let’s have a coffee.” I am fucking relieved I was too smashed to fuck her, because there is something about her, a certain appeal and I like her. She has been there for Chloe.
“I want her back.”
“Good for you.”
“Is this awkward?”
“Filip, I hope for her sake you can get it up normally.”
“Come on, I was hammered, and it’s not like you weren’t.” She laughs, and I add, “My pride is on the verge of diving off a cliff, and I can’t prove it to you otherwise, so.”
“You deserve that.”
“I thought she cheated on me.”
“Still.”
“I know. Now please help me out.”
“I guess remind her why she fell in love with you. She has abandonment issues, and her parents are awful. I hate them so much.”
“Then why was she there?”
“She stopped calling them, and I guess she tried one more time, so maybe there is still a chance for you.”
“Thank you, Anna.”
“Filip, just make her happy.”
“If she will have me back, I’ll live for that.”
I ponder for three days and decide to give her the entire arsenal. One love poem from the book of poems I read to her during our time in the mountains along with a dozen peonies will be delivered to her every day.
The first day, nothing, but by the third she sends me one smiley emoticon text. Sweet progress. By Sunday she types my name. And this is why I am here knocking on her door, on a Monday evening, ready to pour my heart out. She opens the door, and my heart pounds in my chest with the knowledge I can’t live without her.
“Come in.” The relief soaks into my skin as I step inside. In every corner sets a vase heavy with the flowers from me. She kept them, it must be a good sign.
“Give me one week. You said you don’t want this, but one week, please, I promise if you say it’s over, I swear I will let you go.”
“You want an answer on Bria and Damien’s wedding day?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.” The quickness of her answer startles me. If she thinks I will make it easy for her to say no afterwards, a surprise awaits her.
“So,” she says and sits on the couch, pointing at the armchair in front of her. “What do you have in mind?”
“One week, at my place or yours, better yet, at the chalet.”
“Filip.”
“You want me out of your life, I want you badly in mine. One week, it’s a fair bargain.”
“The chalet.”
Only she can tear at my emotions and stitch them back together.
“Then pack.”
“What, now?”
“Of course now, I have a week, and I am not wasting any time.”
She rises to her feet but halts.
“We won’t fuck, and you can’t touch me or kiss me.”
“What if you want to?”
“Especially if I want to.”
“Is this a test?”
“You have a week to do your best, but if we sleep together, it will forever be tarnished.”
“I’ll leave my balls in your bag, happy?”
If she thinks I will fuck up this one chance I still have, then she is in for a rude awakening. One week. I have wanted her for years, what’s a week in comparison? She appears in the doorway dangling two thongs, she’s evil. I gulp while she tantalizes me further.
“I’ll take them both, no bras since it will just be us anyway.”
“Fuck my life,” I grunt, and she giggles. She’s happy, that’s all that matters. Keep her happy, make her forget what you did. Actually, this is not a good strategy, maybe just show her you love her. It has to be enough for her to clutch at something other than my mistake.
Calmness descends as I stare at her in the jet. She peers at me through her lashes and plays with her fingers.
“Why are you looking like me?”
“You’re beautiful, and I can’t get enough.”
“Corny.”
“As long as it is the truth.”
She tilts her head to the side, staring out where the stars light up the sky. We reach the wood and brick chalet, and I can barely keep my eyes open.
“I don’t want to lose you, Chloe.”
Sleep finds me, and I give in, she’s here and for a while longer she will continue to be.
