Hateful Saint by Ivy Blake

Chapter Five

Ava

I was unsure about Ross’s whole ‘beach theme’ party. But as soon as I slipped into my favourite bikini that really allowed me to show off my curves, I cast my worries aside. I took a couple shots as I was getting ready from my secret hip flask that would probably send Mom reeling if she ever found it.

“What time does your party start?” Mom called up the stairs.

“I don’t know, like 7?”

“Ava, it’s past 8!” I rolled my eyes in the mirror. “It’s not good practice to be late to things.”

“It’s a party Mom. Everyone shows up late,” I said.

“Fine, your choice,” she called back before moving away from the staircase. Mom could be so pedantic about these things, it’s not like she’d been a teenager that long ago. My phone buzzed with a text message. I swiped up to see what it said.

Have you told her yet? - H

I cringed and quickly turned the screen off. I wasn’t ready for this right now. I just wanted to have a good night and forget about all the crazy shit that was going on in my own life. Two months ago, I found out something that changed my life. I was still struggling to process it, and with no one to tell, it was getting harder and harder each day to come to terms with. Reluctantly, I turned the phone back on and shot a quick response back. The same one I’d been repeating for the last couple of weeks.

Not yet, it’s not the right time- A

He’d understand, he’d have to. I had other shit on my mind right now and had barely settled back into town. I waited for a response, but was disappointed when none came. I slipped my phone into my bag and took another shot, hoping that the harsh liquid would wash away my guilty feelings and give me some courage for Ross’s party.

Walking down the stairs, I chewed some gum so that Mom wouldn’t smell the alcohol on me.

“I’m off now,” I said to her as I poked my head around the door.

“What on earth are you wearing, Ava?” Mom didn’t sound mad, but genuinely confused.

“It’s a beach theme, so I’m just playing my part,” I said quickly, before she could inspect my attire too closely. I’d put on a sarong to help cover up a bit, but it was practically see through and wasn’t doing much in the way of hiding a lot. It would be dark soon, so I didn’t care. Especially when I looked this hot!

“If you say so,” she said after a moment, returning to her TV show. “Home by 12 latest, you’ve got school tomorrow.” One of things that I loved about my mom was that she wasn’t one of those women that shamed other women for how they dressed. She truly believed in freedom of expression, which was great for me, but frequently got her in disagreements with her parent friends. It was just a shame that she was a massive liar.

“Yes ma’am.”

“Say hi to Ross for me as well. Also, feel free to invite him over to dinner sometime. It would be good to catch up. His parents are free to join as well.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I said as I closed the door behind me. I was already beginning to feel a bit tipsy, but it was manageable. Luckily, Ross only lived like 5 minutes away, meaning that I wouldn’t have to stumble around for too long.

As I neared his house, I could hear loud music wafting into the street. I watched people milling in the front garden while others drifted in, chatting excitedly. One thing that stuck out to me very quickly was the fact that everyone else was wearing normal clothes. I stopped on the pavement just outside Ross’s house and blinked twice just to make sure. Nope, my eyes hadn’t failed me. I was the only one in a bikini, carrying a colourful inflatable with my flip flops on. Fucking fantastic.

“Looking good, Ava,” someone giggled next to me. I looked to my right to see Lacey and Tia from my history class, holding hands and whispering to each other.

“Thanks,” I replied defiantly, my head held high. I wasn’t going to allow myself to be made a fool, especially not by Ross. Any normal person might have turned around and gone home, but that didn’t sound like fun to me. Ross had obviously brought me here to embarrass me, but I bet he didn’t count on the fact that I also liked to play games.

I slid my sunglasses onto my head and strutted into the party, returning all the stares and jeers I received from my classmates with a casual smile, which I knew was the exact opposite of what they were expecting.

“Nice bikini!” a male voice shouted.

“Wanna go for a swim?” said someone else.

“Can I motorboat you?” Honestly, teenage boys were exhausting. I ignored them all and focused on walking in a straight line. The last thing I needed was to fall on my face and embarrass myself even further.

I pushed past throngs of people until I found my way to the kitchen, where I knew the drinks would be. It was much bigger than I had remembered. Ross’s family must have got some work done or something. Still, it looked like it had come straight out of a reality TV show and I couldn’t help feeling a bit jealous. My house was nice, but not as grand as Ross’s. Probably the reason why we’d spent more time at his place when we were kids.

“Miss Ava, jeez girl!” I looked up to see Callum holding a drink up to me, a wide grin spread across his face.

“Hey,” I replied. I poured myself a strong whiskey and Coke. “You good?”

“I’m even better now you’re here.” Callum looked me up and down and licked his lips enthusiastically like he was a dog or something. I rolled my eyes at him. He was always this way with girls. It was nothing new. He’d been the boy that had made everyone play kiss chase in elementary school. So I definitely wasn’t surprised that his behaviour had stayed consistent.

“Of course you are,” I said coyly, taking a sip of my drink. It was strong alright, and I’d probably regret it in the morning, but for the time being… free booze!

“Why’d you come back after all this time?” Callum slung his arm around my shoulder.

“Stuff and things,” I said.I couldn’t be bothered to explain shit again. Besides, he didn’t care. I could just tell that he thought he had a chance of getting lucky with me. Which he absolutely did not.

“Always so mysterious, you,” Callum said, squeezing my inflatable ring. “Can I wear this?”

“Sure.” I handed it over to him and watched him put it over his head and around his waist.

“You liked it and you put a ring on it, right?” Callum said, and I cringed. “C’mon, that was a good one!” he exclaimed.

“Actually, it wasn’t,” I said hotly. I looked around the room, but there was still no sight of Ross. Where was that guy lurking?

“Playing hard to get just makes me try harder, Ava-”

“You can keep trying,” I said, patting Callum on the chest. “I’ve gotta do something.”

Callum started protesting, but I was already out the door before I could hear the rest of it. I decided to check out the garden and see what was going on there.

As expected, there were people making out, chatting, playing beer pong, the whole shebang. In the corner there was a swing seat, and Austin and Megan were seated on it together, chatting away. I considered joining them. Maybe Megan would be easier to talk to after a few drinks. She definitely looked calmer than she she had been this morning. Before I could move, a hand grabbed my wrist and spun me around.

“Ross,” I said calmly, looking up at him. He was wearing a tight fitting shirt that showed off his athletic build and begged to be ripped off. The smirk on his face gave away the fact that he thought he had succeeded in embarrassing me.

“You look stupid,” Ross spat, like he had poison in his mouth.

“Is that why you’re staring at my tits?” I shot back. Ross’s eyes flashed. I’d caught him in the act. He growled and pulled me into the corner, away from everyone else.

“You know exactly what you’re doing, having them out like that,” he hissed, his eyes flitting to my cleavage again.

“Oh yeah, so what exactly is it that I’m doing?” I asked coyly. I fluttered my eyelashes at him and stuck my chest out, amused at the fact that he was getting so riled up. I could see how this was soon to become my favourite hobby- pissing Ross off. He’d started it, after all. I could feel the air tingling between us and fought to ignore the heat spreading through my body as Ross stared at me. He’d backed me into a corner and there was nowhere to go but past him. That was if he let me, of course, which didn’t seem likely right now.

“You’re trying to attract as much attention to you as possible,” Ross hissed.

“Wrong, you’re the one who’s doing that,” I said hotly, my arms now folded over my chest. Ross clenched his jaw and by the way that his eyes bored into mine, I couldn’t tell if he wanted to hurt me or fuck me. I hated to admit it, but it was kinda hot. I blame it on the alcohol.

“You’re so fucking annoying,” he growled.

“You invited me here!”

“Why the fuck did you come back?” I knew from the tone of his voice that Ross wasn’t talking about his house. He still couldn’t get over the fact that I’d moved back here. I never would have expected that he’d be the person who was the least enthusiastic about my return.

“Mom’s job,” I said. I made to move past him, but Ross shoved me back against the wall, causing the back of my head to hit the bricks.

“Ow!” I cried out. I rubbed the tender spot and glared at him. Ross clearly couldn’t care less. “A sorry would be appreciated,” I said pointedly.

Ross scoffed. “That’s rich coming from you.”

“What is your fucking problem? Just spit it out!” Ross’s lips parted and for a moment I thought he was finally going to clear the air and explain his feelings. No one could have prepared me for the words that came out of his mouth.

“You’re my fucking problem, Ava.” A pained look flashed across Ross’s face, but was quickly replaced with venom once more. His gaze trailed from my chest to my lips and then back up to my eyes. I watched Ross swallowed hard and held my breath. I was his problem? If anyone was being problematic, it was him.

“Go home.” He said after a moment. My chest tightened at his words.

“You can’t be fucking serious! What are you not telling me, Ross?” I spat out as I tried my best to read his mind. The thoughts in my own mind were jumbled by the alcohol, but that didn’t stop the anger from surfacing. I couldn’t believe that he had brought me here to reject me.

“Get the fuck out of here before I make you,” he growled, his voice full of menace. I wanted to slap some sense into him, but wasn’t about to be dragged outside like a rabid animal.

“Fuck you,” I hissed at Ross. I purposely knocked into him as I walked away. Even though I knew he was stronger than me, it was the message that counted.

“Hey, Ava, you wanna join us?” I looked to see where the voice was coming from and it was Megan, waving me over from the swing. Part of me wanted to stay to piss Ross off, especially if I was hanging around with the people he considered friends. The other part of me, the stronger part, just wanted to get out of his space as soon as possible.

“I promised I’d help my mom with something,” I lied. “I’ll see you tomorrow though!”

“No worries, I’ll pick you up at the same time,” Megan called back. She and Austin shared a look, which made me wonder if they knew something about Ross’s behaviour. I didn’t stick around long enough to figure it out, barging by the other students as I left Ross’s house. I even let Callum keep my inflatable- a small price to pay for freedom.

I walked down the street, my flip-flops slapping away in the quiet night. I swear Ross’s words had sobered me up because suddenly I could feel the chilly breeze attacking my skin. All this shit about ‘a hoe never gets cold’ only worked when you were nearing blackout drunk. I no longer felt hot and confident in my costume, just stupid and alone. I’d so badly wanted this party to be a moment for Ross and I to reconnect. For some reason, he was pissed at me and I struggled to think of why.

I pushed open the front door and was surprised to see Mom still awake and in the lounge.

“Hey you’re back super early,” she said, pausing the TV. “You okay?”

I plastered a smile on my face. Where would I even begin? I could start with Ross and all the weird shit going on with him or I could get super messy and tell her the reason why I’d been hiding my phone away and jumping at it any time I got a text or call.

It didn’t feel like the right time to delve into the truth, so I settled for a simple lie instead.

“I’m fine, I’m just tired.” I faked a yawn. “Socialising is exhausting. Why are you still up?”

“New season of This is Us, duh.” Interesting, a show about family drama. How coincidental.

“Well, you enjoy that. I’m off to bed. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Ava,” said Mom before she pressed play on the remote.

I dragged myself upstairs and forced myself to get into the shower. I’d had one in the morning, but I felt like I needed another one to wash off all the gunk- physical and metaphorical- from the party. I finished my shower, dried my hair and threw on an oversized t-shirt. I made sure to fill up my water bottle and put it beside my bed. I wasn’t going to be hungover tomorrow. I’d gone to school hungover once, and that was the worst experience of my life.

I got into bed and was instantly comforted by my soft blankets, which I tightly wrapped around myself. After Ross’s weird behaviour and continuous rejections, I went through a new game plan in my head. I was done with trying to rekindle whatever it was we’d had. Maybe I’d been delusional to think our friendship had been that strong. We had been kids to be fair, and people changed. Ross was just showing me an extreme version of that. I wasn’t going to let Ross ruin school for me or let him get to me. It was my senior year and I was here to have a good time, even if I’d started later in the year than everyone else.

As I shut my eyes tight and willed myself to go to sleep, I fought against the image of Ross towering over me and pushing me against the wall with his big arms. This time, instead of shouting at me and telling me to fuck off, he wrapped his hand around my throat, pinning me to the wall as he lowered his lips to kiss me. The mind worked in mysterious and fucked up ways. I couldn’t explain or rationalise why I was finding it so difficult to shake my mind of that scenario. I forced myself to replay his cruel words, reminding myself of the cold tone he’d spoken to me in and the way he’d glared at me.

It was like he hated me.

I hoped that I wouldn’t see him at school tomorrow. If he turned up in any of my classes, there would be hell.