Beautiful Outlaw by Emily Minton
Mistakes and Pain
Shay
I stare out the window as the kitten does her best to climb my jeans covered legs. Guilt slams into me as I think of the danger I’ve put everyone in. I wonder if Marcus will really hurt them, but the answer is that he already has. He hurt my family by keeping me away from them. He hurt me by forcing me to be someone else. He has never physically hurt someone, but he would’ve let my mother die. Death means nothing to him. A tear trickles down my cheek as I reach down to pick Butters up. Holding her close to me, I walk to the bed. After crawling onto it, I let the kitten go. I watch as she curls into a ball at my feet.
Within seconds, she is lost in dreamland. I wish I could join her, go to sleep and forget everything that is happening around me. As I close my eyes, visions of the people I love being hurt fills my mind- Nina, Rachel, Tag, Tin, and most importantly Bowie; they’re all at risk because of me. I can’t believe I brought this to their doorstep. A nearly silent knock on the door startles me, bringing my attention back to the here and now.
I climb from the bed, doing my best not to disturb Butters, and walk to the door. When I open it, I’m shocked to see Red. That must mean he got Lila from her doctor’s appointment. My first thought is of how scared her children will be, forced to stay at the clubhouse. Again, guilt fills me. “Are Lila and the girls here?”
His eyes shift toward the hallway then back to me. “Uhm… yeah.”
“I want to see them if it’s okay” I need to tell her how sorry I am to put her and her children through this mess.
“Maybe later.” His voice is frigid. I can tell he doesn’t want me anywhere near his family, and I can’t blame him.
“I’m sorry I put you all in danger,” I say, hoping he can hear how sincere I am.
He shrugs a shoulder, letting me know that my apology is wasted on him. “Bowie wants to talk to you.”
His words send a wave of forbearing through me. “Is something wrong?” I ask stupidly. Of course something is wrong; my crazy husband is coming after me and willing to hurt anyone in his path. If Bowie needs me, that can only mean something else has happened.
“I don’t know. I just came to get you when he told me to,” he explains with an edge to his voice.
A tingle of unease runs down my spine. Something about his request feels off. Something just isn’t right. My pulse quickens, my hands getting clammy. “Bowie told me to stay in here and wait for him.”
“I guess he changed his mind,” he says, reaching in to grab my arm to pull me into the hall. I instinctively try to pull away and head toward the front room, knowing that Bowie is probably there. Before I can take a step away, Red’s hand tightens around my forearm. “He’s out back.”
Turning me around, he pulls me along with him. As we walk toward the other end of the darkened hallway, my fear starts to grow. I’m not sure what is going on, but I know something is happening and that something isn’t good. “What does Bowie want?”
Not answering, he continues to pull me down the hall. Pushing the large metal door at the end of the hall open, a door I hadn’t even realized was there, he pulls me outside. For a second, the bright sun blinds me. After blinking the black spots from my eyes, I see a midnight blue corvette only a few feet from where I am standing. When I get a look at the driver, I know coming with Red was a mistake.
A nasty smirk covers Tag’s mother’s face as she rolls down the driver’s window of her car. “That took you too damn long. We’re supposed to meet Cash in ten minutes. Hurry up and get her in here. ”
Immediately, I try to pull away from Red. His hand tightens on my arm, not letting me go. “Don’t fight me, Shay. Make this easy on yourself.” His voice sounds almost sympathetic.
“Why are you doing this?” My question comes out in a rush as I attempt to jerk my arm from his grasp.
The woman shouts from the car, obviously hearing my question. “He couldn’t keep his hands out of the cookie jar. Now he’s gotta pay up. Since he ain’t got the money to cover it, you’ll be paying for him.”
I ignore her and focus on Red. “Don’t do this. Please, don’t do this.”
He looks into my eyes, still not letting me go. “I fucked up. It’s too late to change things now.”
“Please, let me go,” I beg as his nails cut into my arm.
“I can’t,” he says with a shake of his head, then barks out. “Just get in the fucking car.”
I ignore his order and start to struggle, using my hands, nails, feet, anything to get away from him. He ignores my attempt to escape for a second, before sending his fist into my face. Pain explodes in my head, but I shake it away and keep fighting. He strikes out again, his fist landing on my temple. This time, the pain is excruciating. My body goes into shut down mode, and I crumble to the ground.
As I fight the urge to close my eyes, I hear a shuffle and see Tag step out of the clubhouse. I try to tell him to go back inside, but nothing more than a nearly silent moan comes out. I watch as he runs toward me, screaming for Red to leave me alone. In retaliation of the order, Red sends a booted foot into my side. I instinctively curl into a ball, hoping to block any further kicks, but it doesn’t work. This time, the boot lands on my lower back, causing my whole body to shudder. A second later, the sound of a gunshot fills the air. Just before the darkness takes me under, I watch Tag’s body slump to the ground.