Beautiful Outlaw by Emily Minton

Lock-Down

Shay

I’m looking out the window when Bowie walks into the room.  Tin-Man steps in behind him and motions for Nina and Rachel to follow.  “Come on, Mamá.  You and Priss can sleep in my room.”

Before leaving, Nina comes over and gives me a hug.  “Everything will be all right.  My boys will make sure of it.”

I merely nod then watch her and Priss follow Tin-Man from the room.  As soon as they’re gone, Bowie looks to Tag, who’s stretched out on the bed. “Go on out and grab something to eat. The Old Ladies laid out a spread on the bar.  When you’re done, find yourself a spot to sleep.  Don’t go too far, though.  I might need you later on.”

Tag gets up from the bed, cutting his eyes to me.  “If you need anything, just let me know.” With a quick tilt of his chin to Bowie, he exits the room. 

I stay quiet until the door shuts, then ask, “What’s going on?  I know Marcus is here, or on his way here, but what does that have to do with your dad?”

“That’s club business, not yours.”

I tried to talk to him before we left the house, but he wasn’t in the mood to discuss anything.  Now, I think I’ve waited long enough.  I’m gonna keep on until he gives me the answers I need.  “I understand that you can’t tell me some things, but you have to tell me something. Anything.  I can’t be kept in the dark.  The not knowing is killing me, Bowie.”

“I took the gavel from Cash. He’s looking for a little revenge,” he says as he walks to me and pulls me into his body. 

Sometimes I feel as if he talks in code.  “I don’t even understand what that means.  What gavel?”

He lifts a hand to tap the patch on his cut.  For the first time, I notice the word vice is missing. “I took his patch.”

“You’re President of the club now?”

He doesn’t answer, just simply nods. Bowie doesn’t talk a lot about the club, but he says enough that I know his dad has been president of the Savage Outlaws since his grandpa died.   “What does that mean for your dad?” 

“It means he’s shit out of luck.  He could’ve kept his cut, been part of the club, but he blew that shit.  Now, he’s a dead man.”

His words are so cold that they send a shiver down my spine.  “You can’t kill your own father, Bowie.”

His arms tighten around me, so tight they steal my breath away.  “He knew that one of us was gonna die as soon as he started this shit.  It’s either me or him, and I don’t plan on dying any time soon.” 

Guilt fills my body as I close my eyes and lean my head against his chest.  I can feel the tears building in my eyes when I say, “I’m so sorry I came here.  I should’ve just stayed with Marcus, and then none of this would be happening.”

“Stop that shit,” Bowie says, raising a hand to my face.  He waits for my eyes to open then uses his thumb to brush a stray tear away.  “This was gonna happen one way or the other.  It’s not your fault. This would’ve happened with or without your ex showing up.”

“I don’t even understand how Cash knew about Marcus.” I’m sure Bowie wouldn’t have told him, and no one else really knows my whole story.  I may have told Nina a lot, but I never even told her where I was from.

“Me neither,” he replies then asks a question.  “Have you told anyone but Nina?”

I shake my head.  “No, I didn’t even tell Rachel.  I think she knows that I’ve been hiding from something, but she doesn’t know what.”

“Tin knows it all.  Rollo knows you’re running from something but not what.” He hesitates for a second before going on.  “I had Red watching over you when I was in Alabama.  I told him a little, but I never went into detail, just enough to know he needed to keep his eyes out for any trouble. None of them would have said a word.”

When he says Red’s name, I remember my conversations with Lila. I’m about to tell him about talking to her when he cuts me off.  “Doesn’t matter.  This shit was gonna happen sooner or later.  At least, this way, I get you out of the deal. Having you in my bed every night makes everything worth it.”

“That doesn’t sound like a fair trade to me.” To have me, he has to kill his father. There’s nothing fair about that. 

“Believe me, it is.” His words are so sincere, they wash away all the cold in my veins and replace it with a delicious warmth. 

“Bowie, I don’t want to be the reason that you and your father…” I’m not sure how to finish my sentence.  How do you tell someone that you don’t want to be the reason he has to kill his father?  Worse yet, be the reason his father kills him? 

He leans his head down to run his lips over mine.  “This shit with Cash has been coming for years.  It has nothing to do with you.  I promise.”

“But...”

“No buts, Shay.  None of this is your fault.  Not one damn thing.  Even if it was, it wouldn’t change a damn thing.  You’d still be my woman at the end of the day.”

“I love you,” I say, hoping to hear the words back.  Instead, a knock interrupts us. 

Bowie looks toward the door and shouts, “What?”

A voice I recognize as Rollo’s shouts back, “I got some news you’re gonna want to hear.”

Bowie doesn’t respond to him, just leans down and places a soft kiss on my lips.  “Be back as soon as I can.  Make sure you stay in this room.” With that, he pulls away.  A second later, he walks out of the room without ever saying the words I want to hear.