Sexy SEALs by Sarwah Creed

9

Iwas heading home, and thinking about writing to Adonis. It seemed to be so natural with him, I just said exactly what was on my mind, and I hoped he was everything that he said that he was and more.

Going home.K

I sentthe message to him and repeated it to Chaz. It felt cheating, copying and sending the same message to both of them, but I didn’t know what else to say to them. I had to pack, and part of me hated myself for being so late at enjoying the college experience. Until four weeks ago, I only had one friend, now I had two.

Four years and two friends. One thing for sure, Nan had been more than generous with my monthly allowance. Sure, I’d never rushed out and bought designer clothes, but if I wanted to then the option was there to buy them; if I reached out to Nan. But, until now, I’d been wearing the same jeans and shirt, since I came to college. It was crazy, that I’d never felt the need to try until now.

I’d bought backless dresses, something that I never thought would suit my body, especially with my big ass. But both Amanda and Lucy convinced me to try something different and I was glad for the first time in a long time that I tried something different. It was as if I was in chains, and at last I’d been set free. Being with the girls made me realize that the only reason I hadn’t socialized all this time, wasn’t because no on had tried to connect with me, but simply because I hadn’t let them.

“I’m loving you in those hot pants,” Lucy said as she whacked my butt as I bent over, trying to pack my stuff together.

“Watch it! I can’t believe that I came here with two suitcases and I need about five right now…”

She laughed, “Yeah, the same clothes. And books. Damn girl, you are obsessed with buying books.”

I slumped on my bed, as I went through them.

“Yeah, but I didn’t go out and buy college books to study. I bought romance books by Sylvia Day, Jenner Kenner, JA Ward… just to name a few of them and I haven’t read one of them.”

“What?” she said as she snatched one of them out of my hand.

“Even me, who had three boyfriends, still had time to read. What were you doing all those nights when you were alone?”

I shrugged as I took it back from her hand.

“Sending emails to the guys.”

She waved her finger. “You only started writing to them three months ago. I’m talking about the last four years.”

“Studying, like all students. Sulking. Mourning. Can we change the subject?”

I asked as I realized, she had touched a nerve, I could tell that she knew it, because instead of trying to tease me, she was kneeling on the ground helping me pack.

“Well, you may not have been wild in the beginning, but you sure made up for it in the end.” I looked at her, and she winked at me. “It’ll be alright when you go back home you know. There’s nothing to worry about.”

I sighed, “I know. Just that whenever I’m there, I’m reminded that dad’s not around and I’m not even going back to my home. The place that I was born and raised. I’m going to this bed-and-breakfast where there’s not one memory of him. Not one memory of us. I try not to be selfish, and move on. He died so long ago, I really shouldn’t be mourning him as if it was only yesterday.”

“That’s not true. You’re his living memory, and you’ll pass it on to your kids, and their kids. His memory doesn’t die, just because you’re not living in the same home that you lived with him.”

I agreed, “You’re right. I need to get going and face the music.”

“Even quicker than we assumed.”

“What?”

I stopped what I was doing because I didn’t have a clue what she was talking about.

“We need to quarantine again. We’d been given three days to stay put or find a place to stay for the next thirty days.”

“Covid? But I thought it was over.”

She sighed, “So, did they. So, did they.”

There was an unspoken silence as we both wrapped our arms around each other. I thought I had another week here, only three days. Two days, because the day was nearly done, and I had a bad feeling that flights were not an option which meant only driving. I had a license, but I wasn’t a keen driver. This wasn’t the time to be fussy, if I couldn’t get a bus or train, then I really had no choice.

Until, four weeks ago, I was looking forward to leaving this place, but now I finally had friends and had enjoyed myself, it was all coming to a dramatic end. There was one time it made me happy at the idea of leaving here.

Now, it just made me feel sad.

* * *

To:Kiara

Subject: Going home

I can’t believethat we’ve been talking for months. It’s been great and uplifting to speak to someone who understands how hard it is to be on the field.

Going home could be even harder.

I hope not.

Stay safe and don’t be a stranger.

Adonis

“Shit!”I screamed out, as my eyes darted across the screen.

“What?” Lucy asked.

I sighed. “Seems Adonis is being dismissed for having PTSD. He said that it could be the case, that he had a meeting or a trial or something and there was some incident and now it seems as if he’s leaving. I can’t ask him. He emailed, not a message via WhatsApp. That’s weird, but why else would he be leaving?”

She nodded in agreement. “Seems like you know the answer to your own question.”

Yeah!

We both sat in silence, after I’d just slumped on her bed. That he would not continue as a SEAL felt wrong in so many ways, I knew how it worked. You had to be in with the higher ranks to get your way, if not then you would be treated as if you were nothing, which just made me feel sad.

“Hey, I’m meeting up with Amanda, but I can stick around?”

I shook my head, remembering that they invited me to come along, but I said that I would pack. Something that I kept saying I would do, and vowed to do it for sure tonight.

“No, you go ahead. I’ll write to him. Not sure what…”

“I’m sure that you’ll think of something. You don’t want me to stick around?”

I shook my head, then I nodded, thinking that it wouldn’t take me all night to pack nor write to Adonis.

“You know what? I’ll write to him, pack and just throw everything in the suitcases and then join you later. I need to get out of here, all I’d been doing was living my dorm room, and never venturing out until it was to eat, or go to class. Now the idea of being stuck in the B&B made me feel on a down-low. I thought I would graduate and be ready to face the world, but I’ll be stuck indoors again. Life’s not fair sometimes!”

I sat on my bed frozen, thinking that time was running out.

“You want to get wasted tonight?”

“Jakes or Brenda’s?”

One of the two bars that we could afford on our tight budget, because I had money until four weeks ago, but with a shopping trip and everything that money was on a tight string and I didn’t want to ask Nan for more.

“Both! Why only go to one.”

She looked at her watch and said, “You have exactly forty-five minutes to pack, and write that email. So hope to it.”

I sprung up, I didn’t have time to respond; she had slammed the door, and I started darting around the room thinking, which one are we going to. We didn’t agree one, but I would hurry and get on with it, then when I was ready to leave ping her to find out which one we were going to get wasted at first.