Echoes & Ink: Raven by Emily Rose

Chapter Thirty-One

RAVEN

Ilook at the man in front of me who is saying everything I’ve ever wanted to hear. Looking at me with such emotion that my heart pounds in my chest. Do I trust him? Do I believe him, is the better question? How many people say the words “you can trust me”? How many actually mean them?

Sloan might be a lot of things, but he’s not a liar. An asshole, sure, but not a liar. He’s sat here, listening to me pour out my darkest secret, and he’s still here. He didn’t run screaming. He didn’t look at me in disgust. He just listened. He listened, and he stayed.

Everything in me is screaming to do it. To take that leap and let him catch me. To know he’s not going to let me fall.

“Wildcat,” he says softly, pulling me from my thoughts. “Trust me.”

Two little words, but they mean so much. They’re asking so much. Slowly, I walk to him.

Taking a deep breath, I look at the man who has come to mean more to me than I ever thought possible. A man who has proven that even though he’s an asshole, he’s a good man. The best man. The only man for me.

“I love you, Sloan,” I whisper, the words wrenching from the deepest part of me.

Sloan’s eyes widen at my declaration, but of course, instead of running for the hills, he smiles down at me smugly and says, “It’s about time, Wildcat. What took you so long?”

Then his mouth is over mine, and for the moment, everything is okay.

The kiss is gentle and healing. Piecing me back together in a way that I never thought possible before. A promise, even as he pulls me close and lifts me up so I can wrap myself around him. My legs encase his hips, and I wrap my arms around his neck as I pour everything I have into the kiss.

Sloan gives a soft groan, deepening the kiss until all I can feel is him. His lips moving over mine, his tongue tasting mine, and his hands holding onto me so I know I’m safe. That he won’t let me fall. Won’t hurt me. It’s enough to have me wishing we could stay like this forever. Never coming for air.

Sadly, nothing lasts forever and he pulls away.

I stare into his eyes, those perfect icy blue orbs, and I see the words before he even speaks them. “I love you too, Raven,” he murmurs. “I love your sass, your crazy, and the way you wipe every thought from my mind when you smile at me. Hate to tell you, but you’re stuck with me now.”

“How can I say no to a man with a big cock that knows how to use it?” I reply sassily.

Sloan barks out a laugh. “Sure do, Wildcat,” he rumbles. “And he expects you to remember it regularly. Especially when I’m an asshole and piss you off.”

I snicker. “If that’s your way of trying to say you want a blowjob, we need to work on your delivery,” I tell him dryly.

He chuckles and moves to set me down on my feet. “I’ll do that,” he agrees with a wink. “Now, as much as I hate to bring us back to the topic at hand, we have to get ourselves straightened out and make some calls.”

“To who?” I ask in confusion. “I thought you said you talked to the lawyers already.”

“I did,” he says calmly. “But we need to talk to our family and our friends.”

I balk at the idea immediately. “No,” I say firmly. “I don’t want them to know about my past.”

“It’s going to come out, baby,” he says gently. “And do you really want them to hear that bitch’s version of the story instead of the real one?”

I know he’s right. I do, but everything in me wants to run and hide. “I don’t know if I can,” I whisper. “I don’t want them to hate me. To look at me differently.”

“The only thing that will change is your badass factor. The guys at the shop, my family, the girls, and the MC will be behind you. They will support you. I know they will. Not only do you have to trust me, Wildcat, but you have to trust them, too.”

“What if some of them don’t want anything to do with me after this?” I ask, voice small and vulnerable. A few of them already know I was pregnant, but I never said what happened to the baby. This will definitely change how they think of me.

“Then fuck them. The ones who stay are the people who you want in your life. Anyone who doesn’t stand behind you, who doesn’t see you for who you are, they can fuck off. You don’t need them. We don’t need them.”

“What about Falcon? What if he’s scared of me?”

Sloan shakes his head firmly. “Trust me, he’s not.” He grabs his phone and I see him shoot a text. I’m assuming to Falcon, and I have to fight back the panic. “We’ll tell him together,” Sloan says when he looks back at me. “He needs to know, Raven, and he needs to settle his mind. He’s been through too much to bear this burden too.”

Fucking hell, why does he have to be so damn logical?

I hear Falcon’s door open and my anxiety ratchets up another level. Oh God, I don’t know if I can do this. When I see Falcon’s worried eyes, everything in me freezes. I feel Sloan take my hand and give it a hard squeeze. A reminder he’s here.

I can do this. I will do this.

Falcon comes to stand a few feet away and then sits down when I gesture for him to have a seat. He gives me the sign for, “Ok?” and I blow out a breath. I shake my head and I sit down beside him. The panicked look on his face makes me feel guilty, but I won’t lie to him. I’m not okay, but I will be.

It takes a while, with a lot of texting between the three of us to get it all out, and by the time I’m finished, I’m drained. So utterly drained it’s all I can do not to fall asleep right now.

Falcon looks at me deeply before texting me again.

Falcon: I’m sorry about Melody. I know you didn’t hurt her on purpose. I just wish I didn’t have to find out about her this way. Do you have any pictures of her?

How did a boy that came from two of the most soulless people become such a good kid?

Me: I have a couple. I’ll go get what I have.

Standing, I walk away, heading for my bedroom. I walk straight to my closet and find the secret box I hide away. Buried in the very back corner of the drawer where I wouldn’t endlessly stare at it. The box is a soft pale pink, and not very big, but it holds so much. So much that I need to finally let free.

To finally allow myself to remember.

Taking a deep breath, I walk back out into the living room. Sloan and Falcon watch me, and when I reach them, Sloan immediately pulls me down into his lap. I give him a small smile and then look at Falcon. He’s looking at the box and I can see his curiosity. And his anxiety.

I tremble as I touch the top, but Sloan whispers softly in my ear, “I’ve got you, Wildcat. Let us see her. Let us help you remember the good.”

I lift the top and set it aside. I look inside and shudder out a breath. Inside is her blanket, the teddy bear, the few pictures I have of her, and a small urn with her ashes. So very small. Tears fall down my cheeks as I pull everything out.

“This is her blanket,” I say, careful to keep my mouth towards Falcon so he can read what I’m saying. “And her teddy bear.” I hand them both to Falcon and he takes them carefully, looking at them closely. When he looks back at me, I give a small smile. “I only have four pictures of her. Three of them are just of her, and one is of the two of us.”

I pull them out and bite back a sob as I stare at my little girl’s face. Sloan takes them and gives two of them to Falcon.

Sloan is quiet as he looks at them. “She’s beautiful, Wildcat,” he finally says softly. “She looks just like you.” I look at the picture of Melody laying on the blanket the nurse gave me. I remember when it was taken. The nurse insisted on taking a picture of her, with a baby announcement beside her, giving her date and time of birth, gender, and name. Melody had stared right at the camera, perfectly happy and content, her belly full and her diaper freshly changed.

“Yeah, she did,” I say softly. He flips to the next picture and I gently trace the outline of her little face. The picture is of her and I the day we were going to leave the hospital. In her little outfit, a simple pink onesie a nurse found for her, and wrapped up in her blanket. I was smiling, my eyes tired but so happy, and her bright eyes looking up at me like I was the only thing that mattered. I guess I was, seeing as I was the one who was feeding her, I think wryly.

Falcon touches my hand and holds out the other two photos, indicating he wants to switch. Sloan trades and then I look at the pictures. One was when she was only hours old, resting on my chest as I dozed. I was exhausted, but didn’t want to let her go. The last one is one I took when we were finally home. I had laid her down on my bed, and she looked up at me with what I took as a smile, but was probably gas.

The sunlight beamed in from the window, lighting up the room, and making her almost glow. It was the one picture of her that I cherished more than the rest. Where she was so happy, so content, and perfect.

“I miss her,” I whisper, so sad. “I miss her so much.”

“I know, Wildcat,” Sloan whispers back. “I know.” He folds me into his arms and lets me cry. I hear Falcon moving, but don’t look until he moves back towards us. I force myself to look at him and then I see her things are gone. I panic for a second before I realize he’s pointing across the room.

I slowly look over and see he put her things up on the mantel. Her baby blanket is neatly folded in half, just a bit of the edge overhanging. Her little urn sits in the center, and around it are most of the pictures. Balanced against the front of the urn is my favorite one. I stare at it for a moment before I finally look back at Falcon.

He takes his phone and types out a message before turning the phone back to me to read.

Falcon: No more hiding her in a box. She deserves to be out here and be remembered.

I get up from Sloan’s lap and haul him against me. I hug him so tight I know I’m probably crushing him, but I don’t care. When I finally pull away, I smile softly at him and sign back “thank you”, before nodding.

I look back at Sloan and he stands, smiling at us. He looks at Falcon and nods at him before texting him something. Whatever he says makes Falcon flush and shrug uncomfortably. Falcon looks at me and signs “bedroom”, and I nod. I think that’s enough heavy stuff for him for one day.

When he’s gone, I look at Sloan. “What did you say to him?”

“That I was fucking proud of him,” Sloan answers gruffly. “That kid might have shit parents, but he’s just as badass as you.”

I nod and look back at the mantel. Seeing her there, it’s not going to be easy, but it looks so right. Like she was meant to be there.

“She can be your guiding light, Wildcat,” Sloan says softly. “And she’s going to be the reason you’re going to fight that bitch and win.”

Resolve rushes through me. A determination I’ve only felt a few times in my life. That bitch is going down, and she’s not ready for the shit storm that’s coming.

I look up at Sloan and say fiercely, “Yeah, you’re right. So let's get planning, because that bitch is done. She thinks I’m crazy now, she’s ain’t seen nothing yet.”

Sloan smiles slowly at me. “I don’t know why it’s always the crazy ones that do me in,” he teases. “Pretty sure I have a semi just at the thought.”

I snicker. “Then be prepared to walk around with a full Johnson for the foreseeable future, Lincoln, because I’m just getting warmed up.”