Becoming His by Mariah Dietz
Saturday morning arrives. It’s moving day.
Abby and I had rented an apartment at the end of May and had gotten all of our furniture and decorations completed by the time summer arrived so she’d have a place to stay since she originally decided she wasn’t going home to Jersey this summer. She had changed her mind after receiving a few calls from her family and friends, but it didn’t affect anything, except making moving a lot easier. All I have to worry about are my clothes and toiletries. Granted, that still requires my car, my mom’s impractical Southern California SUV, and Max’s Jeep.
Abby bounds down the stairs, wrapping her arms around me as she squeals and bounces in place.
“Hey, Abs!” I say with a laugh as I hug her.
“I brought Jesse to help,” she says, looking over her shoulder. I follow her gaze and see Jesse slowly approaching us. I can’t quite get a read on him, and he seems to be looking at me with the same thought.
Abby opens my back door, grabs a pile of clothes still on hangers, and heads for the stairs as Jesse lifts a box from my passenger seat.
“Well, Ace, if there was ever a concern that you weren’t your mother’s daughter, I think it was squashed today,” Dad says, eyeing the mountains of clothes around my room. “Where are they all going to fit?”
I shrug and open a box filled with shoes.
“How many pairs of shoes do you own?” Jameson asks, dropping another box labeled shoes beside me.
“I know you helped Kendall move, so I don’t want to hear anything.”
“Alright, sweetheart, we have to get going. Your father and I are supposed to be attending a charity dinner this evenin’ for the hospital,” my mom says.
“If you think of anything you forgot or need, you just holler.” She stands, straightening her red blouse. “The house is going to feel so empty again,” she says quietly, as a couple of stray tears run down her cheeks.
I stand up and pull her in for a hug. She holds me tightly, running a hand over my hair several times while whispering how much she loves me, as the scent of her sweet, floral perfume, makeup, hairspray, and home linger in my senses, even after she pulls away to go hug Abby. I watch as she releases her and moves onto Jameson and lastly Max.
“You take care of my baby,” she says as Max wraps his large arms around her small frame. “Don’t let her try walking to class when it’s dark. She thinks no one is ever going to bother her. What she doesn’t realize is that everyone notices her. Everyone.”
“I’m only ten feet away, Mom.”
“I promise I’ll watch out for her and keep her safe,” Max assures her.
I roll my eyes, turning to my dad. Even though I’m less than an hour away, saying goodbye to him is the hardest part of being away at college. I’ll miss our morning catch ups and having him around. I take a deep breath, willing myself not to cry, and press my face firmly against his shoulder. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I immerse myself into the safety and warmth of his embrace.
“Time goes too fast,” he says quietly as he holds me close. “I love you, Ace. More than you’ll ever know.” He kisses the top of my head and gives me a final squeeze. “I’ll see you all in a couple of weeks, right?”
I nod and force a smile. “And I’ll call you after Newsroom.”
“You’d better call me more often than that!” He guffaws. “Now that I have texting, instant messaging, and that walkie-talkie thingy you girls put on my phone, I better get updates at least three times a week.”
“Oh, David, she’ll be busy!” Mom exclaims. “What walkie-talkie thing?” She looks up at him.
“You master texting and we’ll discuss upgrading you,” I tease.
My dad laughs, wrapping an arm around my shoulder as I follow them out to the parking lot and watch as they climb back in my mom’s car. I feel Max standing close behind and lean into him as I wave, watching my parents drive away.
“I bet we can find some ice cream,” Max offers, wrapping his arms around me in a comforting hold.
I shake my head. “I’ve got to figure out what to do with all of my clothes.”
“We’ll figure it out,” he says calmly and follows me back up to my apartment.
They don’t fit.
Max sits on my bed, offering assistance as he watches a baseball game, while I resituate things several times in an attempt to get everything inside.
Eventually I concede and fill a box to take back to my parents. Moving onto my shoes, I arrange them by how often they’re worn and color.
Once all of my toiletries are unpacked and Max has taken care of all of the empty boxes, I plop down on my bed and sigh.
“I already miss you being next door.” Max comes over to lie beside me.
“We can do sleepovers now though.” He lifts his eyebrows. My eyes go wide, hearing he’s done with going slow.
He quickly shakes his head. “We’re waiting five more weeks.”
I try to hide my disappointment. “So are you staying here tonight?”
“Do you want me to stay here tonight?”
“Do you want me to want you to stay the night?” I raise my eyebrows and my lips curve into a smile.
He chuckles, pulling me to him so I’m lying atop his chest. “Yes! Tell me you want me to stay!”
“Please stay,” I beg, slightly pouting my lips and playing along. He grabs my lower lip between his teeth, gently nipping at it, as he pulls my hips down to meet his. My breath instantly quickens as his hips lift ever so slightly off of the mattress, pressing further against me.
“That’s cheating.” I grumble and press my hand on his chest, sliding forward so I sit above his waist.
“Kendall asked me to go get some pizzas with her. They’re having a small ‘get together’ at their apartment tonight,” I say, climbing over him and off the bed. Max grabs my hand as I begin stepping away and pulls me back.
“Where are you going? And what exactly is a get together?”
“With those two, probably a party. I need to invoke the three-foot rule,” I explain, running a hand through my hair and looking at his eyes still heavy with lust.
My phone chimes from the nightstand and I sigh, reaching over to grab it.
Kendall:U ready?
Me:Coming
Kendall:Gross, TMI
I roll my eyes, not bothering to respond to her, as I offer Max the option to come with me.
I grab my purse and head to meet Kendall as Max finishes a call with Wes. I head down the metal stairs, looking down at my phone as it buzzes again, notifying me of another text message. As I open it, I see Kendall’s name and the beginning of her message scroll across my screen as I crash into someone.
I grip the banister and watch my keys crash to the cement landing and instantly feel horrified at my negligence.
“I’m so sorry!” I cry in apology, bending down to retrieve my keys.
“Baby Bosse?” My spine snaps hearing the familiar voice, and I come face to face with Nathan Hudson and inwardly groan.
“You’re my neighbor?” he asks, his eyes alight as I avoid stating the obvious. The soft, echoing thud of someone jogging down the steps has me turning to see Max approaching us, his strides slow as he gets closer and his eyes look from me to Nate. I follow his gaze.
Nate smiles as he looks to Max. “What’s up, Miller? What are you doing here?”
“Nate’s my neighbor.” Max’s eyebrows lift at my explanation.
“I think it’s fate for us,” Nate says with a wink.
Max’s body stills, his fists clenching. “Fate?” Max repeats the word like it just slapped him, and Nate turns to look back at him, his smile sliding.
“Don’t tell me,” Nate says, looking between Max and me. “No shit, you and baby Bosse, huh?” he asks, looking at me another moment, “That really surprises me. Aren’t you guys like neighbors or something? I think I heard Clay mention how he liked to come over to catch Ace in her bikini.” He laughs without any trace of humor.
Ignoring Nate, I shift my body so I’m closer to Max, but also angling myself so I’m between the two of them, hopefully making it more difficult for Max to kill him.
“Miller,” Nate repeats, shaking his head as if he can’t quite understand the word.
“Don’t be an asshole, Nate,” I feel my phone buzz again inside my purse and tug on Max’s hand. His body slowly relaxes and follows me as I edge my way around Nate.
“I’m just surprised after being cheated on with Eric, you choose him.” Max pulls his hand from mine and turns so fast I don’t think I’ve even blinked in the time it takes him to launch his body forward.
“Max!” I cry as he corners Nate, hovering over him in a threatening stance.
“I swear, Hudson, you stay the hell away from her. She isn’t interested in you. If you touch her, you talk to her, you even fucking look at her, I will rip your throat out. Got it?”
A menacing smile spreads across Nate’s face as he looks at Max. “What are you worried about, Miller? That she’s going to come borrow a cup of sugar from me?”
I turn, hearing shoes hitting the stairs and see Jameson and Kendall approaching, wearing matching expressions of confusion.
“Hey, dude, everything okay?” Jameson asks calmly.
“Everything is great,” Nate replies, straightening himself. “Just getting acquainted with my new favorite neighbor.” He looks over Max’s shoulder and winks at me.
Max shuffles forward and thankfully Jameson leaps in front of him, placing a hand on his chest to keep him back. Nate smirks and turns, heading up the stairs and out of sight without another word.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Max mutters, running a hand over his short hair and turning to look at me. “You can’t live here.”
I ignore his comment and start back down the stairs, hearing the others footsteps on the metal stairs as they trail me.
“I’m serious,” Max says once we’re all seated in the car. I glance at him in the passenger seat of my car, staring at me intently.
“Max, I’m not going to move because of Nate.”
“You said yourself that you don’t like him. He freaks you out.” Max’s voice rises as his intensity grows.
“I don’t like Nate. Nothing is going to happen with him. But I’m not moving.” I stare at Max to ensure he understands just how serious I am. “This is where I live, Max. He’s just trying to piss you off and be an ass.”
Max shakes his head and leans back into the seat, looking up at the roof of the car as I head to Antonio’s Pizza House.
“Does this remind you of the hot springs with Pedro?” Kendall asks from the backseat. My muscles clench as I watch Max’s head snap and feel him glaring at me. I glance in my rearview mirror to shoot Kendall a look of warning, knowing that this is not going to help.
“Pedro Rodriguez?” Max’s voice cuts with accusation. “You dated Pedro Rodriguez?”
I swallow the urge to get defensive and keep my eyes focused on the road. “Briefly. Like four years ago.”
“That’s why you guys were dancing together at Dante’s.” His words come out like a revelation, making anger course through me as I recall that night and how I had been trying so hard to understand where we were at that point.
“Pedro and I are just friends,” I say adamantly.
“Kendall, does Pedro like her?”
“I hardly see how that’s relevant. I was just thinking out loud. Forget what I said. It was a long time ago.”
“Since you’re evading the question, I take that as a yes.”
“She isn’t playing some game with you, Max. If she doesn’t like you she isn’t going to just keep you around to spare your feelings, so stop creating a reason!”
“Yeah, because she was so in love with Eric all summer, right?” he says, making my jaw drop as I pull into the parking lot.
“Ace is in the car with us in case you both somehow forgot. And this sorta sounds like a conversation you may want her input on,” Jameson adds from the backseat.
I watch him in my rearview mirror as he slowly turns his head to each of them. Even though he can’t see Max, he stares at the back of his seat in silence, as if he’s trying to share a thought through telekinesis.
Max obviously doesn’t receive his message. Instead, he turns his head to look out the passenger window and defiantly mutters, “I’ve never known Pedro to date a girl and not sleep with them.”
“Are you seriously calling me a liar? Call him,” I challenge, unlatching my seat belt. “Go ahead call him.”
Max doesn’t turn to look at me.
I shake my head in frustration, fighting the desire to spew the angry words forming on my tongue. Leaving my keys in the ignition I grab my purse, stalk across the parking lot, not bothering to look back as I hear Kendall’s irritated tone.
Antonio’s Pizza House is located in a strip mall with a dozen other stores, and I head into a small boutique.
I send a message to Kendall telling her to drive my car back, and that I’ll be leaving with Abby. I turn my phone off before she can respond and see Abby pull up. I climb into the passenger seat, still avoiding eye contact with my car.
Abby drives us to the movies when I tell her I’m not ready to go back home. She allows me time to work through my thoughts in silence as we sit through the previews. This is one of the many reasons I love Abby so much: She doesn’t push me when she knows I need some time to simply process.
The movie serves as a lousy distraction. By the time it’s over I’ve concluded that I’m being childish and have likely destroyed my relationship with the first person I’ve ever had this strong of emotions for with my infamous running. Then I flip to the complete opposite end of the spectrum, justifying my actions, convincing myself I haven’t done anything wrong. I dance between each possible reality half a dozen times at least.
“So do you want to talk about it?” Abby asks as we stand to leave.
“I met one of our neighbors this afternoon,” I say with a heavy sigh. She looks at me blankly. “I know him. He went to school with us. When we were leaving, he was just getting home and fired off some inappropriate comments that pissed Max off. Then Kendall decided to take a play from Captain Stupid and decided it would be a good idea to bring up a situation with Pedro. Max got all jealous and weird and accused me of sleeping with Pedro.”
“Pedro from Dante’s?” I nod and watch as she absorbs the information.
“I did think Pedro liked you.” She glances at me nervously as I groan.
“It doesn’t matter! We’re just friends! And more importantly, I didn’t sleep with him!”
“He knows you didn’t. He’s just jealous. I’m sure he was recalling the way Pedro checked you out at Dante’s and with this guy saying inappropriate things, he just overreacted.” She gently shoves me with her elbow as we step outside. “Don’t chicken out now. You like him. You like him a lot. You said yourself love is all about feeling extreme emotions, what is it? Big gesture, stalking, crazy-jealous, life-sacrificing … I’m missing one.”
I shake my head and climb into the passenger seat, feeling nervous at the prospect of discussing things with Max.
“Craving!” she yells, shutting her car door, “Craving! That’s the one!” She looks over at me with a smile. “So are you craving to go and get things settled between you two love birds?”
“Abby, he wants me to move because Nate lives there.” She looks taken aback.
“What in the hell did this guy do?” she asks.
“Nothing, he was just trying to get a reaction.”
“Well, first things first, let’s get you to Max so you guys can talk.” My fingers absently fidget with the hem of my shorts as I consider what Max’s reaction to me will be. “Hey,” Abby says, taking my hand in hers. I glance up at her big brown eyes as she scans over my face. “Harper, he’s crazy about you. Don’t worry. This is just normal couple stuff. It will be water under the bridge.”
I pray she’s right.
When we arrive back to our apartment my eyes scan the parking lot and quickly locate my car parked beside Max’s Jeep. Noticing that both are empty, I fish out my phone and impatiently wait for it to power on. When it finally comes to life, it informs me that I have twelve text messages and four new voicemails. My chest is tight with nerves, not certain that I want to read or hear any of them. Abby stands beside me, encouraging me with a tight squeeze to my left hand.
I open the texts, and pull up Jameson’s first.
Jameson:Y didnt u take me with u????!!!!
I grin, grateful for a comedic introduction. Next I open Kendall’s.
Kendall:I cnt believe U ran away, wut is this-middle school?
That one hurts a little.
Kendall:UR going to screw things up.
That one hurts a little more.
Kendall:Im sry, Ace, I shouldnt hve mentioned Pedro.
Kendall: I luv u 2, the boys will b at my apt, plz C us when U get home. LOVE U 2!
Max’s are next.
Max: Im sorry for being an ass, can we plz talk?
Max: Im trying to respect ur space, but we need 2 talk.
Max: Dammit, Ace, will u plz talk to me?
Max: I’m going to be at Kendall’s, we need to talk.
I silently groan, looking up at the night sky and reciting another prayer that Abby is right. I catch sight of the full moon, which glows full and bright, almost taunting me as it says, “Yes, I do have this kind of power.”
I don’t bother with the voicemails.
Assuring Abby that I’ll be fine so she doesn’t feel guilty for leaving me to visit Jesse, I head over to Kendall’s apartment with my heart thrumming as though I’ve spent the last hour sprinting.
I enter the apartment without knocking when I hear music seeping from the door and look around to see several familiar faces and many more that aren’t as I try to find Kendall or Max. I finally catch sight of Max standing casually by the kitchen table, holding a drink in his hand, looking completely relaxed, surrounded by three girls. I quickly notice one of them, an attractive blonde, has her hand on his arm, awakening my insecurities.
I turn back to the front door and am engulfed in a tight hug. My face swims in long, dark hair that smells like it was saturated in musky vanilla perfume. I hate the smell of vanilla perfumes. The scent’s permanently ruined for me when I’d witnessed too many girls from high school trying to get a guy’s attention by bathing in vanilla.
I pull back to see who my squealing hugger is: Kristy Barton. Kristy’s a nice girl, but she’s a chameleon; anytime she’s around someone new she changes. She also speaks with her voice a few octaves higher than my ears appreciate and wears clothes that don’t leave much to the imagination.
“Oh my gosh, it’s so great to see you, Harper! You look amazing!” I’m not sure if she’s being sarcastic or not as I look down at my gray V-cut blouse and maroon shorts and then to her sequin dress.
“Thanks, so do you. I forgot they were having party,” I fiddle with the hem of my shorts.
“I met your boyfriend! He’s ridiculously hot! If he has any friends, I’m interested!” Had he introduced himself as my boyfriend? Or had Kendall?
“Yeah, I was just coming to talk to him,” I lie. “Nice to see you, Kristy.” I run a hand through my hair, hoping to add some volume to it, and walk over to where Max stands with his entourage of girls that has grown by two in the few minutes I was talking to Kristy..
“So how do you know Kendall?” A nasally brunette purrs, placing a hand on Max’s chest.
I stop, waiting for his reaction. Max looks down at her hand and then to her face, “She’s my girlfriend’s sister,” He responds, taking a step back and bringing his drink to his lips.
My lips lift into a smile. Moving to stand directly behind him, I wrap my arms around his waist. Max’s torso twists around and his bright blue eyes relax as he sees me. His mouth slowly curls into a smile as he pulls me into an embrace and bends down to kiss me. I’m not a big PDA person, however some possessive impulse flares inside of me, and I push myself closer to his body and deepen the kiss.
We reluctantly pull apart and I notice that the fan group has disintegrated much to my satisfaction. Max leans down and softly kisses my temple and gives my hip another gentle squeeze.
“I’m sorry, Ace. I was just, I don’t know …” he says, letting out a long breath through his nose. “Insanely jealous. I know you haven’t lied, and I’m sorry about the accusation. I was an ass.” I take his palm and press it to my lips.
“I appreciate that, and I’m sorry for my escape. It was childish and not the right way to resolve things.”
“But …”
“You know Nathan Hudson means absolutely nothing to me. Nothing,” I repeat to add emphasis. Max nods and runs a hand over his hair. “I don’t want someone to be the reason we fail before we’ve hardly begun, especially not him, because I really like kissing you, Max.”
“I really hate that son of a bitch.”
“And you really like kissing me too,” I say, pushing up on my toes to kiss him again. I feel the smile on his lips before he kisses me back with more force.
I turn as Kendall slaps me on my ass. Her chin tilts and her blue eyes connect with mine, and just like that we’re okay. Growing up with as many arguments as we did, we’re both quick to forgive and forget, and usually smart enough to know when to be mad and when to let things go.
Heading back to my apartment, I’m feeling the effects of not eating enough and drinking two shots and a beer that was promised wouldn’t taste like beer, but did. I’m feeling silly and giggling about absolutely nothing.
Abby’s still out and I reckon she will be all night when I see her message on our dry erase board hanging on the fridge:
Good luck! Love you, be safe tonight! XOXOXO Abs.
I make my way over to our small living room and drop onto the couch, thoroughly amused by the simple act, and the sound that accompanies my graceless maneuver. “Let’s go!” I proclaim slapping both sides of the couch as Max wanders around the kitchen.
“Where do you want to go?” he asks, opening several cupboards before retrieving a glass.
“I want to do something crazy!” I stand, and go to the fridge where he’s filling the glass with water.
“Something crazy?” he asks, smiling, “Like being crazy and drinking some water so you don’t have a hangover tomorrow? The crazy being that you’re being amazingly responsible?”
I frown at him, making him laugh. “What kind of crazy do you want to do?” He sets the glass on the counter and wraps me in his arms.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “Remember, I don’t do crazy very often. You’re going to have to help me out.”
“Let’s get you a jacket,” Max leads me to my room.
“What are we going to do?” I cry, bounding over to where he stands in front of my overly stuffed closet.
“You’ll see,” he replies, looking lost.
I smile and grab a black, light weight jacket and turn, pressing my lips firmly to his. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and dig my fingers into his shirt as my entire body melts into him. “I really enjoy kissing you, Max. Like really, really enjoy it.” I take his hand in mine and drop back to my heels with a small sigh. “Okay, show me crazy!”
Max pauses, a small smile playing on his full lips red and swollen from our kiss. His cobalt blue eyes are full of light as he looks down at me. He wraps his arm around my back, once again pulling me to him, and kisses me hard on the lips then looks at me with a satisfied grin.
Max drives a little over thirty minutes while we talk and laugh about every random thought that enters my slightly inebriated mind. Finally we pull up to a small brick building that I can tell is a bar by the beer bottle-shaped neon lights adorning the windows. A dingy sign informs me we’re at O’Tooles.
“I should’ve asked you this, but do you have a fake ID?”
“Fake ID, huh?” I pluck a card from my wallet and hand it to Max.
“You took Kendall’s license?” he asks quietly, as we approach the door.
I shake my head, grinning. “She told them she lost it.” I wink as I pass him and walk into the small, slightly dilapidated building that reminds me a bit too much of the tattoo parlor.
No one bothers carding either of us, and looking around I’m not surprised. The place is a hole-in-the-wall. Granted, it’s a really packed hole-in-the-wall.
I stay close to Max as he leads us to one of the only vacant tables located near the center of the room. There’s a large stage at the front of the bar where a man is brutally mutilating “Cry” by Aerosmith.
I look from the stage to Max.
“Is this the crazy you had in mind?” he asks with a smile.
“Is the crazy part listening or singing?” Max laughs and I smile, watching the ease and beauty behind his joy.
“Have you ever sang karaoke?” he asks.
“I’m tone deaf,” I say, pointing to my right ear. “I don’t even sing in the shower, let alone in front of …” I look around at the crowded room cheering as the guy hits a note that has me flinching. “This is crazy,” I whisper to myself, taking it all in.
“You said you wanted crazy.” His voice holds a note of a challenge that makes my eyes grow at the prospect of really doing this.
“Alright, if you go with me! I’m going to get us a couple of shots. I need some more liquid courage!”
I get back to the table as Max is returning from the stage, grinning as he reaches for the tray crowded with four shots and two beers.
“I thought you didn’t like beer?”
“This is a hard cider,” I answer with a shrug. “I figure in case I need to nurse something, I can drink it. Otherwise, you can.” I take a seat and lean forward so I can talk over the noise. “I know you like whiskey, but I just learned there’s big difference between the different kinds, so I got us each a whiskey sour and a malt. I heard you tell my dad you like lager beers, which I also had to ask the bartender to explain, and he guaranteed me you’ll like this!”
When Max doesn’t reply, I look up to ensure he’s able to hear me. He’s staring at me, his eyes warm, yet guarded, like he’s waiting for me to tell him the bad side of things. I open my mouth to say something, I’m not even quite sure what, when he grabs my arms and pulls me out of my seat and into his chest and roughly kisses me.
“Thank you!” he says, looking at me with his intense blue eyes. I smile before I lean forward, kissing him again.
The night passes too fast as we laugh and sing along with others on stage. We chat with another couple that briefly joins our table when the place is too packed for any empty tables, and we kiss. We kiss a lot.
By the time we get home we’re both exhausted and I’ve had too much to drink to not start sleeping soon. Max leads me to my room before heading back into the kitchen. I brush my teeth and shuffle into my room where I peel off my clothes and change before Max appears with two glasses of water. I drink them both and lay my head on the cool cotton of my pillow as my ears ring in the quietness of my apartment.
“Where are you going?” I mumble, hearing the quiet swish of fabric. I look up to see Max standing in my doorway with his back to me.
“The couch.”
I shake my head and pat the bed beside me. “Come on, you can sleep above the sheet if you don’t trust me,” I say, sticking out my bottom lip.
“That pout could make world leaders sign peace treaties.” He sighs in defeat and pulls off his T-shirt. The sight of him unbuckling his jeans has me swallowing. Maybe this was a bad idea. Max stands before me in his boxer briefs.
I’ve seen him in his bathing suit dozens of times, this is no different, I repeat to myself as I pull the blankets down. “Don’t worry, I’m too tipsy to try much. I feel like I’m about to sleep for twelve days.”
“I’m worried about my self-control, not yours,” Max admits. He hesitates another beat before I see the resolve cross his face, and he slides under the covers.
I snuggle myself close to him and shiver, feeling the warmth of his skin radiating against mine. Max reaches over and pulls me closer, wrapping an arm under my neck so my head rests on his shoulder. He then hitches my leg so it lies between his thighs, my foot between his knees. I drape my right arm across his chest, and take deep breaths of Max as his hand lightly combs through my hair.
“Thank you. That was the best crazy I’ve ever had,” I whisper, closing my heavy eyes as sleep pulls me under.