Never by Blue Saffire

Chapter 38

Box Opened

Gutter

The room was so dark. I could hear the moans and groans of both women and men. I moved forward and in the corner, two guys sucked each other off.

“You’re worthless.You couldn’t even stay beautiful like my other pet,” she hisses at me.

My skin crawled. I hated the sound of her voice. It grated my nerves. I spun around, looking for Terry. When I found him, he was across the room being held down.

“No,” I yelled and took off to help him.

The more I ran, the farther across the room he was. I pushed my legs harder, but I couldn’t get there. Suddenly, I could see him, but no one was holding him down.

He was in a bathtub full of blood. She’s there beside him, stroking his hair. “My pretty one. Come fellas, you can all have a taste,” Melody purred.

“No, get away from him. I’ll kill you all,” I bellowed.

Someone grabbed me by the shoulders, restraining me. I go into survival mode. This wasn’t going to happen again.

Sal

I blink my eyes open, groggy and disoriented at first. Whimpers fill the room, and the bed is rocking. I turn my head to see Gutter tossing and turning in his sleep. He’s soaked, sweat is dripping from his face and covers his chest.

He was so agitated after the call I found him on. It had taken him a while to fall asleep. I followed shortly after. He’d looked so peaceful then. Now, he looks like he is literally being tormented.

I reach for him and shake his shoulder. “Pierson, babe—”

I’m pinned flat on my back, he straddles my body with his big one with his hands around my throat. I can’t breathe as he chokes me, crushing my windpipe. His eyes are unfocused, and a snarl is on his face.

“Gutter,” I spatter, trying to get through to him. Tears leak out the corners of my eyes. “Gutter.”

I see the moment his eyes clear. Panic replaces rage. He releases my neck and shoves his hands into his hair. He pulls at his damp strands.

I sit up, rubbing my neck. He jumps up from the bed and backs away from me. He shakes his head as if to clear it. Pulling his hands from his hair, he looks down at them as if they belong to another.

“Fuck, fuck,” he roars. “I’m so sorry. I knew this shit would happen. I’m so sorry, baby.”

“I’m fine,” I say in a raspy voice.

His eyes widen. He starts to move closer to the bed, but stops. He closes his eyes and beats a hand across his chest as if doing so to punish himself. When he does it twice more, I jump from the bed to run to him.

I grab his hand in mine, needing both hands to match his strength. “Please, Pierson. Stop it, I’m fine.” My voice still comes out raw.

A sob rips from his chest and he buries his face in my hair. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry,” he sobs.

He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me in tightly to him. His entire body shakes against me as he breaks down. I try to wrap my arms around him, but he slides down to his knees, burying his face in my belly.

“I’m so sorry,” he says again, sounding like a wounded animal.

It breaks my heart to see my big, strong man falling apart at my feet. It’s like I’m getting a glimpse of the frightened boy he once was. The anguish in his voice tears at my soul.

“You had a bad dream. You didn’t mean it,” I say softly, hoping to soothe his ache.

“I could’ve hurt you. I could’ve killed you,” he groans.

“I’d say we’re even,” I try to joke.

He looks up at me, tears swimming in his beautiful eyes. My humor is lost in the moment. He grabs the backs of my thighs, squeezing tightly.

“You mean everything to me. I can’t ever put you at risk like that again,” he says in all seriousness.

“What?” I snort. “So, we’re sleeping in separate beds for the rest of our lives?”

He turns his head away from me. I gasp. He’s seriously considering this. I drop to my own knees and cup his face. He won’t turn to me at first. I duck my head to search for his eyes.

“Pierson,” I say gently.

He turns and locks gazes with me. “You and I are so fucked up. We’re going to have times like this. Maybe we can go see someone together, but what we’re not going to do, is let this come between us. We have enough shit going on as it is,” I say with determination.

“Don’t worry about it.” He kisses my forehead. “I won’t make it back to sleep tonight. Go to bed. I’m going for a ride.”

I get ready to protest, but he silences me with a kiss on the lips. When he breaks the kiss, he pecks my forehead. Lifting to his feet, he reaches out his hand to help me up.

I stand and stare at him for a few moments. When I don’t move toward the bed, he leads me to it. I reluctantly climb in, watching in silence as he gets dressed and heads out.

Boy, we’re a fucked-up pair. Even my thoughts sigh at that truth.

Gutter

I feel like less than a man. My job is to keep Salalia safe and I’m now the one I need to keep her safe from. I can’t get her face out of my head. The fear, the panic, the pleading in her eyes for me to let go.

I would never put my hands on a woman. To wake up and comprehend that I had my hands around Sal’s neck tore a hole through me. Even riding my bike isn’t able to keep my demons at bay tonight. They’re nipping on my heels.

I stomp my way into my office and stop in surprise to find Diggs in the waiting area. There’s a gallon of Jack sitting on the coffee table before him. He looks up through his lashes and I can see the damaged soul staring back at me.

“I told them I wanted to be left alone,” he says through a clenched jaw.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about. Got my own shit I’m standing in,” I grunt back.

He closes his eyes and nods. I can’t help but wonder if Sugar has taken a turn for the worse. Last I heard, she hadn’t woken yet. I’m not about to pry. It ain’t my business.

“I don’t know if I want to drown myself in this bottle or ride so far away from here it all becomes a distant memory,” he says, almost to himself.

I feel him on that one. Only, I wouldn’t get far. My heart and soul are tethered to that woman sleeping in my bed. I know I wouldn’t make it to my next breath if I tried to leave her.

“You ain’t ran from shit since I’ve met you.” I amble over and flop down on the other side of the couch.

Diggs blows out a breath and looks up at the ceiling. “I need to get my mind off this shit. I need to get out of here,” he says, scrubbing his hands down his face.

I rub my own jaw, contemplating my next move. I had planned to come here and get some work done. Diggs has been after me about signing some papers.

I figured if I’m here first thing in the morning, I could pull together a small crew to ride with me to get Terry the fuck out of the mess he’s in. I talked to King about it, after I hung up and calmed the fuck down earlier.

He offered Terry the Lost Souls’ protection without even asking for more information. When I said it was my cousin, there was nothing more to be said. I could just wake some of the guys now and take off.

“Hey, you want to ride out with me? I have that shit to deal with.” I’d sent him a brief text earlier, too.

His face brightens at the prospect of a distraction. “You said it’s a family thing, right? Why wait, when we can do?” He shrugs.

“I put in some calls,” I huff. “Rossi isn’t going to make this easy.”

“What’s your plans for him? You know you’re going to have to put him to ground.” Diggs lifts a brow.

“So be it.” I shrug. “Elbows deep, Terry and I have some bad history, but he’s all the family I have left.”

My thoughts turn to Sal. I need to do this, but I don’t want to leave her unguarded. If I’m honest, she’s my family. I just need to put distance between my fucked-up head and her, for now.

“Vault can stay behind at your place. King doesn’t need him. That way, we can take our guys,” Diggs offers up as if I’d spoken my thoughts aloud.

I nod. That’s a good plan. If I have to leave Sal with anyone not in my crew, it would be a Squad member. Vault is smart and lethal. He thinks fast on his feet.

From what I’ve learned, Vault is also fond of the younger girls around the club. They’re all like little sisters to him. The girls feel the same about him. I think Sal will be comfortable with him.

“Sounds like a plan.” I nod and start to set things in motion.