Never by Blue Saffire
Chapter 36
Settling In
Sal
Gutter enters the office he gave me and taps the doorjamb. I look up to find a shy boyish smile on his lips and it hits me how much I miss him. We’ve been in the same apartment together for three days and yet it feels like we’ve been a part for five years.
“Hey, come take a break.”
I narrow my eyes. He’s up to something. I glance at the clock on my computer screen. I’ve done it again. Gotten lost in my work and forgotten to eat.
“Okay,” I murmur and stand. It’s when I walk past him out of the room I notice he looks nervous or something.
I shrug it off as him being cautious around me because I haven’t been talking to him much. When we’re at the club, we don’t even speak. Gutter seems to be spending a lot of time with King, Mix, Brick, and my dad lately. Not sure what that’s about.
When I step out of the hallway into the open living-dining area, I stumble to a stop. Tears well in my eyes and I feel like a total bitch. There’s a reason I fell in love with this man.
I’m completely blown away. Before me is a candlelit table with dinner set for two. It’s the same dining table that arrived yesterday, the one he let me pick out for his place.
When we arrive three days ago, I couldn’t believe how bare the place was. I think his room at the clubhouse has more character. When I say he had the bare necessities, that was all he had. A couch, TV, and in each bedroom a bed. That’s all.
I’d heard him banging around in the kitchen, but I was so engulfed in my work I hadn’t let the scent of food or what he could be doing sink in. As I said, I tend to get lost sometimes when in front of a computer.
All of this says he’s trying. He pulls my chair for me and I can’t help the tremble in my lips. I suck it up and take a seat before he sees my reaction.
“It smells great.”
“Thanks,” he replies.
We both dig in. My mouth waters as I open for the first bite, and it doesn’t disappoint. I moan around the fork and nod my head. It’s delicious.
“This is so good.”
He smiles, I mean, a real smile, and I’m stunned for a moment. It’s so gorgeous. He should smile like this all the time. My God.
I reach for my glass of water and take a sip. I’m forced to look around at the romantic display before me to keep from melting into my seat as I look at him. I don’t think he has come to play with me tonight.
That smile alone is the perfect weapon. I gaze at him again and long to kiss him. What was I so mad about again?
Oh, right… babies. I want them and he doesn’t. My frustration returns. More so with me.
I promised myself to him without knowing him. Now, I’m in love with someone that doesn’t want the things I want.
I push those feelings down and continue to eat. The silence thickens, and not in a good way. After about twenty minutes of quiet, I try to think of something to say to lighten the mood.
Here goes nothing, I think before I speak.
Gutter
Things have been strained between Salalia and me. Ever since the barbeque, she’s closed me out. We’ve been living together in the apartment for three days. It’s suffocating enough in this place without this tension.
I thought making her dinner would help break the ice so we could finally get to the bottom of this. I think I would rather her pick me apart than have to deal with this. This isn’t the comfortable silence we had in the beginning of our relationship. This is my girl closing me out. I need to fix us.
“It’s so romantic.”
Sal smiles as she looks over the dinner table for the millionth time. I’ve noted her surprise from the time she saw the table. I think this was the last thing she was expecting when I asked her to take a break.
“You say that as if you’re surprised,” I murmur, after swallowing a forkful of lasagna.
“Hell, yeah, I’m surprised.” She giggles, and it’s so sweet.
I reach to brush my fingers across her cheek. Her cheeks warm with color. It’s gorgeous on her chocolate skin.
“I promised I would do my best at this.” I wave my fork between us. “I’m trying.”
Salalia’s eyes soften, and her smile grows. “Thank you.”
“I was hoping we could figure things out. You know, fix what went wrong,” I try, feeling completely out of my element.
When she looks away, my heart sinks. We’re back to square one. Yes, her body reacts to my touch. That chemistry is still burning between us, but something is on her mind. Something she won’t spit out and tell me.
“Can we just… Pierson, this night has been perfect so far. Can we just enjoy it and see where things go from there?” she says softly.
I nod my head, frustrated, but willing to do as she asks. We live together, we have to figure this out eventually. I’m not much of a patient man, but for her, I’ll be just about anything.
So, for now, we eat in silence. Cage, King, Brick, and Mix spent hours prepping me for this. I’ll just try another route.
Sal
We finish dinner in silence, and I feel terrible for it. I have so many questions in my head. I just don’t know how to deal with them.
I don’t know where we should go from here, but I don’t think I can bare going separate ways. It’s the reason I don’t want to ruin tonight.
“Help me with the dishes.” Gutter breaks through my thoughts. I get ready to offer to do them, but the grin on his face says he just wants me to tag along.
As I enter the kitchen, he lifts me onto the countertop. He brushes my bare thighs with his hands as he pulls away. After my request to just enjoy dinner, something changed. He’s been placing subtle touches to every bare surface that’s exposed by my short sundress.
I’ve been in a constant blaze of fire from the inside out. Every place he has touched aches for a repeat. I know I’ll break down soon.
He licks his lips, and it’s as if he has licked my pussy lips as well. I cross my legs and squeeze. I can’t bear being this close to him.
I can’t breathe. I just feel. I feel him everywhere.
I have to have him before I lose my mind, but I bite my lip. I’ll wait, waiting will make this so much better.
We haven’t touched since we moved into this apartment. I see the hungry stares he gives me. I’ve been processing it all. Gutter hit me with a heavy blow the other night.
Yet, my body doesn’t care about any of that. It wants the man standing before me with those hungry, piercing blue-gray eyes. Yes, this wait will be worth it, and my brain is sure to short circuit.
As if reading my mind, he says, “When I finally take you, you will lose your sanity. Don’t worry. I promise.” His rough voice washes over me.
I’m stunned as I watch him move away from me to the sink. I blink rapidly, trying to get my brain to restart. He’s giving off that vibe from that day in the clearing. That side of him that exudes sex and power.
I’m no match for that side of him. The smart side of my brain tells me to run, get to safety. The side of my brain that craves this man in ways I never thought I’d be able to, keeps screaming for me to strip down and make his job easy.
My gaze travels over him as I take in his profile. He moves to the other side of the room and I drop my eyes to his tight ass in his low-hanging jeans. When he turns back for the sink, he catches me drooling over him.
Instead of heading for the sink, he walks straight to me. Placing one hand on either side of me, he leans in until we are face to face. Heat rolls off of him.
“We can fuck and talk this out or we can talk this out and then fuck. Those are your two options,” he breathes against my lips.
I want to kick myself for panting. I miss his touch so much. I miss the bond we’ve built together, but if he doesn’t want children, we shouldn’t be fucking anyway. I’m overdue for my birth control shot.
I’ve been busy trying to get some things done for King and the club’s books. I think King is about to do a major turnover. The details and changes he’s asked me for are all red flags he’s up to something. He just hasn’t told me what, just that he needs it all done as soon as possible.
That was the reason I’ve been working round the clock. All of this drama has been a little bit of a setback. I need to get through—
“Shut that pretty brain of yours down, baby girl,” Gutter growls into my neck, then places a kiss on my sensitive spot.
I giggle and heat everywhere, unable to stop either. My arms go around his neck of their own accord. Gutter pulls my legs around his waist, slowly, carefully as he connects our eyes, seeming to connect our souls.
“Gutter,” I start, but he shakes his head.
“Pick one, talk and fuck or fuck and talk,” he commands.
I lick my lips and scoot my butt forward. The words feel dirty leaving my mouth, but they feel safe with him. It’s then I decide everything will work itself out. Gutter always makes sure I’m safe.
I know I can trust him to make safe decisions when it comes to me. We can figure the rest out. I know we can. I let go of the restraint I’ve been creating on my propensity to do.
If he wants to fix this, if he wants to talk, we can talk. However, there’s something I need to handle first. I glide my hands up into his hair, tugging his head down toward me.
“Fuck, then talk,” I moan against his full lips, just before he captures mine like a man starved for far too long.
A low rumble comes from his chest as he devours and savors me. I tighten my legs around his waist, clawing at his back. He begins to drag kisses down my neck to my collarbone.
“I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you.” He flicks his tongue out and mutters.
“Please,” I plea. He’s awakening the fire he’s been setting all night.
In a single motion, he plucks me from the countertop and moves into the living room area. His long legs eat up the distance swiftly. Still holding me tight, he snatches one of the pillows from the couch and tosses it onto the floor in front of it, followed by another.
Gently, I’m lowered to the couch. I look into his heat-filled eyes and feel like I’m about to go up in flames. Gutter pulls his shirt over his head as he stands before me. My gaze follows the ripples of his ripped chest and abs. I move forward, unable to stop myself from needing to lick my way over his tattoos.
He groans while cupping the back of my head in his big hands. I revel in the fact that this man will only ever want and receive my touch. No other woman has ever turned him on.
This I know and this I can use to fortify my resolve in sticking to our relationship. When I look up at him through my lashes, the desire I see there in his eyes nearly makes me weep. I continue my trail over his well-honed canvas.
I reach for his belt and release it. Unfastening his pants, I push them down his hips, until what I want springs free. I look down to see the precum dripping from the tip and lick my lips.
Just his scent alone makes me want a taste. It’s a mix of his natural musk, citrus, and a freshness all his own. I reach for him, wrapping my fingers around him in awe.
He’s so silky smooth to the touch, but hard as a rock. I give a gentle squeeze and more precum leaks forward. I can’t deny myself another minute.
I dip my head and flick my tongue right through it. I hum as his sweet, salty taste hits my tongue. It’s like having my favorite caramel invade my senses.
“That good?” He chuckles.
The sound warms my chest. It’s been too long since he has sounded so carefree. That sexy bravado is oozing from him.
“Mmm, hmm,” I hum around him, starting to swallow as much of him as I can.
“Fuck,” he groans. I look up to find his head thrown back. It is such a stunning sight.
I did that, I’m doing that. Most of all, I want to do this as much for me as I do for him. I have the power here.
I smile around him and go into overdrive to bring him to his knees. Not because I can, but because he’s allowing me to. For us, there’s that difference. That’s what makes this special, makes us special.
I make sure he’s soaked and wet, not caring about the excess drool dripping down my chin. His groans and grunts are my fuel to keep going. I dig my fingers into his thighs for support as I twist my head to the side, shifting the angle in which he’s entering my mouth.
“Aargh,” he moans, pulling from my mouth. His lips are tight when he commands. “Turn for me.”
I want to finish, but I obey his command. I turn on my knees, facing the back of the couch. Gutter reaches for the hem of my dress to pull it over my head.
My breasts bounce free, having no other restraints on them. I gasp when he rips right through my panties. He’s right at my ear, keeping me in our safe place as he does this.
“You with me, baby?”
“Yes,” I pant.
“Good, I’m going to eat this pussy. I’ve wanted to taste you every night you’ve been in my bed. You tap out on me; you make sure you mean it. If I can’t have my mouth on you, I’m going to be in you.”
My pussy clenches with his words. He waits for no reply. I hear more than see him drop to his knees on the leather cushions he dropped on the floor.
It feels so good, I reach back with both hands and open for him. I press my face into the back of the couch. Gutter growls in response and shoves his face deeper. He covers my hands with his big ones, holding me open to his assault, not that I had plans to let go.
My eyes cross. I’m close to going over, but it’s so strong I want to tap out. I just refuse to. I choose to go up in flames.
I accept it in all its glory, cresting and crashing hard. I’m drunk as Gutter gently lifts my body, bringing me down to the floor with him. The heat coming off of him is surprisingly welcome to my own heated flesh.
“Put your hands and head on the pillows,” he orders.
Dazed, I mindlessly do as he says, placing both hands on either side of the pillow and planting my head on the cushions. The smell of leather and my essence fill my nostrils. It’s like being welcomed home.
Gutter lifts my hips to meet his, bringing me into a standing position. He lines up with my entrance and starts to push forward slowly. He rocks into me gently a few times. Going deeper with each pass.
It’s the most amazing feeling of my life. A long moan escapes my lips, followed by me crying out while he slams home into me. I feel breathless, I can almost taste his desire as it comes off of him.
The punishing pace he sets proves he’s not here to play. He meant it when he said we were fucking. This isn’t the lovemaking I know from him. This is something more raw and downright nasty. I like it and I don’t feel ashamed that I like it, surprising myself and bringing tears to my eyes.
“Don’t.” He slaps my ass. “Don’t you dare overthink this. You have a right to be fucked by your man and like it.”
I have no words. It makes me wonder how he doesn’t get that what he said the other night is a problem. I push that thought aside with the others to just enjoy this feeling. It takes no time to get lost.
“Fuck,” he hisses. “You’re going to tell me what I’m doing wrong and I’m going to deal with it.”
His words aren’t a command, but more of a demanding plea. I don’t respond. Instead, I begin to give as good as I’m getting. I root my hands into the cushion and push my ass back as best I can.
His grip tightens on my waist. “You’re mine. You promised. I won’t lose you,” he says huskily. “Fuck, yeah, keep coming on me.”
I do just that. One orgasm turning into another, then another. It happens so fast I lose my stride and my legs start to buckle. He doesn’t stop pounding, not until his warm seed spills inside me.
He collapses against the couch, keeping his weight off of me. His strong arms go around me, guiding me down into his lap as he twists to sit. His warm lips meet my temple.
“Give me a minute, I’ll carry us in the room. Then we talk.”