Accidental Neighbor by Sharon Woods
Chapter 9
Thomas
“She died.” I swallow the lump that’s formed in my throat. “It’s just me,” I say matter-of-factly.
Jennifer’s brown eyes are wide as she gazes back at me. Her bottom lip drops open, but no words leave her lips.
Those words slipping out allows my body to sigh in relief, giving me the courage to continue. I know she deserves more than those few words; I just don’t know how much I am willing to give right now. I start slow, hoping it will be enough for Jennifer to understand me.
“I'm a widower; my wife died,” I say in a broken whisper, only loud enough for her to hear. My eyes slip to the other room, to check if the girls heard anything, but they are distracted as they sit and watch television. Bringing my gaze back to meet Jennifer's warm, accepting, pity-free eyes makes me feel instantly relieved. There are unshed tears sitting on her lashes, but the way she turns her head and peers at my girls, I know its raw sadness for them. How two little girls have lost their mother to death and now they must grow up without her—it’s the same question I keep asking myself. And I keep blaming myself—why couldn’t it have been me?
My throat constricts, so I grab the drink and sip so I can’t say anything else. My heart is not ready to say anything else right now, at risk of falling apart or exposing myself. I don’t want to do that in front of the girls. I don’t want to upset them or cause confusion; they are too little to understand adult emotions.
“I’m sorry.” Her voice is small and it cracks.
I nod. “Thanks. I…”
The girls come running over. “Biscuits,” Lily sings softly. “Me some,” Rose coos beside her. Lily grips the counter, jumping up and down. Rose is too small to reach, so she bounces on the spot.
A small smile cracks as I peek down at their excited faces, the feelings of sadness zapped at the sight of my girls. “It's almost dinnertime, but you can have one each. No more before dinner.”
“Okay, Daddy.” Handing them each one, they run back to the living room to eat them.
“Well, I better go and let you make dinner and start preparing mine.” She slips off the stool and tucks it back to where it belongs and comes around to my side of the counter. I lower my head as a heaviness hits the center of my chest.
“You can stay for dinner with us. I’m making lasagna and there will be plenty,” I blurt.
A soft gasp escapes her, and she glances down before returning them to mine and answering. “I would love to, but I really have to get going. I need to prepare dinner for the family.” Something in the tone of her voice tells me she doesn’t want to leave either but she has to.
I grin cheekily across at her. “Maybe next time.”
Heat rises to her cheeks, and she bites down on her lip. A deep laugh leaves my chest. I stare at her mouth, my own lips parting, and I have to refrain my thoughts from drifting in a sexual direction.
Why is it that every time I'm near her my common sense disappears? In any other circumstance in another life, I would not think twice about kissing her but now, with the girls, I can’t afford to. I swallow hard and stare at her.
“Next time,” she repeats huskily, then spins on her heels to take her cup to the kitchen sink and deposits it in there.
“Thanks again for letting me come over and use your bathroom. I promise to take the keys with me next time. Lily and Rose, I will see you soon. Bye.” She waves as she passes the living room on her way to the entryway.
The girls wave back, and Lily calls out, “Bye.” They stay seated on the couch as they continue to eat their biscuits.
I start to follow her. “I'll see you out.”
Nodding, she steps to my front door. “This house is gorgeous. Are the girls settled here yet?” We stroll so we can talk a bit before she has to leave.
“Isn’t it? As soon as I saw it, I knew it was ours. The space and the interior, plus the pool is a bonus. The girls have taken the move to this house really well. I think they love the space, but also it’s not that far from where we were, so it wasn’t a big change.”
Her head whips to read my face. “And where were you before this?” she says, surprise in her tone.
“Just on the other side of town. My parents are still there, but it's only an hour drive so it’s not that bad, even if my mother thinks I moved to the country." I chuckle at the thought of my mom. I love her, but her dramatics are comedic.
“Oh, I can only imagine.” Her soft laugh warms me.
“My parents are protective too, so I can understand your pain.” We reach my door, so she stands aside as I lean forward to grab the door handle. My face is just inches from hers, and my body trembles with familiarity. Holding my breath, I yank the wooden door and pull it open.
“Thanks, I'll see you soon.” She pushes the metal door open before I can open it for her, and she steps down and turns to face me.
Standing in the doorway using my shoulder to hold open the metal door, I say, “You’re welcome to come here anytime.” Without thinking I reach out and brush my fingers over her cheek. She leans into my hand, startling me. I breathe out shakily and retract my hand back when I realize what I have done. I take a small step back, needing the distance between us. The pull between us is palpable.
Her mouth perks in one corner and she waves her hand in the air. “Bye, Tom.”
Watching her every step back to her house until she is out of my line of sight, I then release the breath I was holding. “Bye,” I whisper, knowing she won’t hear.
As I step back inside my house, my head is spinning, my heart beating rapidly. Feeling like I'm in a daze, I walk into the kitchen and begin cooking dinner. I bathe the girls before I feed them, and then I finally tuck them in bed relatively smoothly.
Once they are fast asleep in bed, I pick up my phone to dial James. My head is still trying to figure out what to do with Jennifer. I know he will be able to listen. Even if his advice regarding women is not to my taste, I just need to talk.
Sitting in my living room with my feet resting on the coffee table, I scroll the names until I see James and press it. It only rings a few times before he answers. “Tom, what's up?” I can tell with his relaxed attitude that he is in the office alone.
“Still working?”
“Yeah, bud. Are you okay? You sound… off?”
Chuckling at his comment, I ask, “How do you know?”
“How long have we known each other, Tom? The only sound I don’t know is when you come but I like a little mystery,” he teases.
“I'm happy you don’t know those finer details. I think you know enough, by the sounds of it.” I chuckle.
“How about I come over for a beer? I can drive over now. I just gotta pack up here.” I can hear his fingers typing away on his keyboard a million miles an hour. He is probably behind on his own work from helping me out with the move.
“No, I'll be fine. It’s just, my head is spinning… Women are confusing.” I sigh loudly.
I can hear a few taps and his keys tinkle. “You and women in one sentence, that definitely requires a beer in person. I'm heading over. Do I need to grab some on my way?”
I roll my eyes at his urgency, knowing he can't see me right now. “No, I have beer here.”
“See you soon.” I hear the disconnect tone in my ear. I remove the phone from my ear with a soft shake of my head. He may be a billionaire, but it doesn't stop him dropping his life for me in an instant.
Opening Safari on my phone, I google a local pizza place. I order two large pizzas for delivery. It is the least I can do as I am sure he hasn’t eaten.
His office is in the city, so he won’t take long to get here. I don’t want the girls woken up by anyone, so I watch for lights to flash in the drive for either James or the pizza delivery.
The pizza arrives first so I jump up from the couch and rush toward the door. As I’m taking the pizza boxes from the delivery guy and handing over money, James’ black Bugatti pulls up in my driveway. It is sleek and sporty. Totally screams money and sex, which is fitting for James.
The car door swings open, and I see his large frame exit the car, He’s wearing a black suit and a crisp white shirt and black tie. His brown hair is still swept to the side in perfect arrangement. He is intimidating as hell, even to me, one of his oldest friends.
I whistle a sexy tune and he chuckles, shaking his head with a wicked grin on his face. He struts toward my house, holding his briefcase in one hand and his phone in the other, pure power and sin. He doesn’t have any issues with the ladies because he doesn't keep the same woman twice.
“Fuck off.” His shit-eating grin lights up his face.
Holding the pizza boxes in one hand and holding the metal door open for him with my foot, he stalks up to me, pats my back, and I embrace him with a pat in return.
“Thanks for coming; you really didn’t have to. You could have stayed in the office and chatted on the phone.”
Closing the doors behind us, we walk to the kitchen.
“I know but when do you ever call me with women troubles?” His eyebrow rises in question.
I sigh. “Right, well, it’s not like I have much experience.”
“So you called the expert,” he mocks with a wink. Placing his briefcase on my counter, he arranges his phone on top.
I roll my eyes and grab the beers from the fridge, handing him one, then we go to the living room so we don’t wake the girls. “If that’s what you want to be known as, then sure.”
I turn on the television which is larger than the other living room, perfect for sports with the boys and movies with the girls. I set my beer down on the black glass coffee table in the middle and the pizza boxes next to it. I flick the television to football and take a large pull of my beer, then I take a piece of cheesy pizza and bite into it.
I groan at the taste of hot sweet cheese hitting my tongue. James chugs his beer and grabs a slice before sitting back in the black recliner. Between chews, he asks, “This is a good pizza… Now, are you going to tell me what’s going on? You know you are killing me.”
After I eat the slice of pizza, I hold my beer and pick at the label. Clearing my throat, I say, “I have a crush I guess you can call it.”
James twists in his chair to face me, causing me to tilt my head. “And who is she?” His eyebrow quirks.
I glance back down at my beer because they teased me about her the first night I met her.
“Well, you know the night at the bar? The girl that didn’t come back?”
“Yeah…”
“She is the same person who fell outside my house and is now my new neighbor.” I rush the words out before he can interrupt.
James thrusts upright in his chair. “No fucking way. She is young and brunette?” he questions.
“I know. I’m not going to pursue her; what would she want with me? I’m a single, old dad. I need to focus on the girls.” I don’t like him comparing Jennifer to my dead wife, and he had to mention young, cementing the fact of why I shouldn’t have feelings for her and how I shouldn’t want to kiss her or have her in my bed. I wish I wasn’t so damn attracted to her. And it doesn’t help that her dad is over checking on me and the girls. And here I am wanting his daughter. I don’t want to be causing issues with my new neighbors.
“I think that’s her choice; you shouldn’t make a decision for her. I’m sure if she was to pursue you back, she would understand your situation.”
I let his words sink in, knowing he is right, but the other part of me feels guilty. I don’t deserve to be happy. Victoria doesn’t get that same opportunity. And I should be focusing solely on the girls, not fantasizing about Jennifer.
“Yeah, I guess… I have seen her twice since the accident outside.”
“When? Come on, spit it out, bud. I can't help with these shitty details.”
Taking a large pull of my beer, I start. “I'm due to start with Josh on Monday so I need a new childcare center for Rose. I had booked a tour into the one just around the corner. When I arrived at the appointed time, guess who conducted the tour?” I wait for a beat before saying, “Jennifer.”
“Hot name.” I side-eye him at his comment. He ignores me and takes a pull of his beer and reaches for another piece of pizza while I continue with the story.
“During the tour she was so kind and good to Rose, who hid in my neck the whole time, but Jen managed to get her to open up with teddies, and Lily, of course, says the most awkward sentences but loves her too.” I smile, telling him about the visit.
“Jen? Nicknames already,” he says with a knowing smirk, his eyebrows raised.
“You’re a dick.” I chuckle.
He does not say anything else, just keeps eating pizza.
“Anyway, this afternoon she knocked on my door because she locked herself out of her house, so she came in to use the bathroom and then stayed for a drink. I was making them when I caught her looking at my ring finger, but she didn’t say anything.” I point at my bare finger.
I took the ring off a few months ago when people would ask me about my wife all the time. It was too hard to explain. At first it was strange and I didn’t like not having it on but now I’m adjusting.
“Did you tell her about Victoria?” he asks.
“No, I freaked the fuck out; I told her she is dead.” I close my eyes and screw up my face from the memory.
“Oh, shit, and how did she take that?”
Peeling my eyes open to look at him, I say, “Really good. She felt sad for the girls but there was no pity. You know how much I hate it when people pity me.”
He nods but does not say anything, his fingers tapping the leather, waiting for me to finish the story.
“And then she left, but when I said goodbye at the door, I touched her face. I have no idea why I did it. But I feel so fucking stupid. What is wrong with me? I need my head checked.” I shake my head, trying to remove my embarrassment, my inability to resist my urges.
I hear deep laughter leave his lips. “You got it bad!”
I groan and take the rest of the beer in one long pull. Then I say, “What the hell do I do? I have never dated anyone other than Victoria, and we both know Victoria was a spitfire… Jen is shy. I don’t know what to do. They are totally opposite. Help me. I need to turn these feelings off!”
“I don’t understand feelings; you called the wrong person for that. I really don’t see why you can’t get with her. I’m sorry, I just don’t… Just hook up with her.”
My eyes widen, and my mouth hangs open. “Are you serious? I don’t just fuck around, Jay. I'm not you; I can’t do one night of no strings attached.”
He shrugs his shoulders, unfazed. “Your loss… It's actually fun; you should try it.”
“No chance, and you’re not helping at all!” I huff, shaking my head. “No, but in all seriousness, I just need to be the adult and resist the urges. I just need some space because I am weak when she is around. But she is young, and I have the girls to worry about.”
“Yes, but you still deserve to be happy.”
I stand up, unable to answer him and take the empty pizza boxes and beers to the bin. I pause a minute. Do I deserve to be happy? People keep telling me I do, but why don’t I believe them? A heavy ache in my chest starts as I think of Victoria. I bring back a new beer for each of us. Handing a cold beer to him, he leans in and takes it.
“Cheers. Thanks for coming here and listening to my shit when you could have been working or out.”
I leaned forward and hit my bottle neck on his before settling back into my leather chair, laying my head back, my mind not able to focus on the TV. Instead, I drift off to think about the previous year and how numb I was, but how Jennifer has ignited a spark, causing me to feel again.
“I’m here for you, anytime. You always get me whenever you need me. You're my family.”