Where the Heart Is by Patricia Keelyn

CHAPTER THREE

“Hey, Einstein!”

Jon kept walking, ignoring the boy who hollered at him.

“Johnnie!” whined a second voice. “Hey, Johnnie!” No one but Fatso could squeal like that.

Jon cursed under his breath. He didn’t like the idea of dealing with Roc when he was alone, but with Roc and Fatso together, things could get bad real fast.

Jon kept walking, resisting the urge to change his pace because of the two hicks calling out to him. The best thing to do was ignore them, and maybe they’d find someone else to torment.

Suddenly Roc darted in front of him, and Jon came up sharp to avoid a head-on collision. “Hey, Jon-boy,” sneered Roc, stabbing a finger at Jon’s chest. “We’re talking to you.”

“Give it a rest, Roc.” Jon brushed the other boy’s hand away. “I’m not interested in anything you’ve got to say.”

Jon sidestepped and started to walk around the other boy, but he hadn’t taken two steps before Roc grabbed his arm. “Did ya’ hear that, Fatso? Einstein’s not interested.”

Jerking his arm free, Jon turned to face the other boy. Rick “the Roc” Moran hadn’t gotten his nickname for no reason, but Jon was almost as tall and no weakling. “What do you want, Moran?”

Roc stepped closer, but Jon held his ground, refusing to budge before the other boy. “Hear you’re acing Mr. Dobb’s math class.”

Jon crossed his arms and shrugged. “So what if I am?”

Roc laughed and glanced at Fatso before turning all his attention back to Jon. “So we don’t like that.”

“Am I supposed to care what you like?”

“Yeah, you oughtta care.” Roc stabbed a finger at Jon’s chest. “’Cause we don’t like no city boy coming here trying to make us look bad.”

“Hey, man. I sure am sorry.” Jon kept his cool, at least on the outside. Inside, he wanted to bury his fist in the other boy’s ugly face. “I didn’t mean to make you look bad.” Fatso would be all over Jon from the rear, and Fatso probably outweighed Jon and Roc put together. But, hey, it was worth the risk. Dropping his book bag on the ground, he grinned sheepishly. “But you know, I can’t help it if you haven’t got anything inside your skull but rocks … Roc.”

The insult hit home. “Why you—”

“Hey, Jon!” Startled, all three boys turned at once as a petite blonde hurried up and joined them. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“Not now, Anna,” Jon said, exasperated that she’d picked this moment to show up. The girl was always around when he least wanted her—which was pretty much all the time.

“You heard Jon-boy,” Roc growled. “Get lost, Anna.”

“Why should I?” Anna crossed her arms and lifted her chin defiantly. Despite himself, Jon had to admire the way she stood up to the bully. “Just so you can goad him into a fight. Two on one. Looks like pretty uneven odds to me.”

“Anna …” Jon wanted to shake her. Didn’t the girl have any sense? He didn’t need her standing up for him.

“Ain’t no business of yours,” added Fatso.

“I’m making it my business.”

“You better git, girl,” Roc warned. “Or you could get yourself in a whole mess of trouble.”

“Are you threatening me?” Anna advanced on Roc, and if Jon hadn’t been so angry about her interference, he would have laughed when Roc stumbled backward. “Are you forgetting who my daddy is?” Anna continued. “All I have to do is tell him you put one finger on me, just one dirty finger …” She didn’t need to say more. Not only was Anna’s father the sheriff in Felton, he was over six four, pushing a lean 220 pounds, and everyone knew he adored his oldest daughter. Greg Banks had to be the one man in town that even a bully like Roc wanted to avoid.

It took a moment, but Roc recovered his composure. “I ain’t got no quarrel with you, Anna.” Then he turned his beady eyes back to Jon and added, “But you’re dead meat, city boy. You can’t hide behind her skirts forever.” With that, he and Fatso took off.

“What the hell were you doing?” Jon asked, turning on Anna as soon as the other boys were out of earshot.

Again, she lifted that defiant chin of hers. “I was trying to keep you from getting beat up.”

“I can take care of myself.” He grabbed his bag and swung it over his shoulder. “And another thing. I’m tired of you hanging around me all the time. Why don’t you go find some girls and play dolls or something.” The moment the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them. But it was too late. The damage was already done.

Anna’s big brown eyes instantly filled with tears. “Fine with me,” she said, her brave voice suddenly shaky. “Be that way. What do I care if Roc beats you senseless?” She turned and took off toward the school.

“Anna,” he called, but she didn’t stop. He tossed his bag back down on the ground. “Damn!” Why did he have to go and say that? What a jerk he was. A first-class jerk.

Nick fought the urge to go see Maddie for nearly a week.

Logic told him she probably wanted nothing to do with him. He’d hurt her badly once, destroying their friendship. He’d give anything to undo the foolishness of his youth.

No, that wasn’t true.

He couldn’t wish that his son had never been conceived, that he and Diana had never crawled into the back seat of her car. He loved Jon too much. But he could wish that he hadn’t hurt Maddie in the process. He’d loved her once, too.

And maybe that was why the desire to see her kept at him. If he could explain to her what had happened, tell her the truth about Diana, maybe Maddie would forgive him.

It was his morning out of the office, and he usually spent it working on the house he was building outside of town. But the project had lost its appeal since the last time he and Jon had been out there together. So, without really planning it, he found himself heading toward the opposite side of town. To Maddie’s.

Approaching her house, he spotted her out front. She stood on tiptoe, wielding a large pair of gardening shears, trying to reach the last few upper branches of an overgrown bush. Scattered around her feet and across the yard were various pieces of cut greenery, evidence she’d been pruning most of the morning.

“Here,” Nick said as he walked up beside her. “Let me help you with that.”

Maddie took a step away from him. “Thanks, but I can manage.”

“Come on, Maddie.” Nick gestured toward for the shears. “Let me get the ones you can’t reach.”

She lifted her chin in a stubborn gesture he remembered well. He almost laughed aloud. Instead, he said, “Just the top ones, Mads.”

She hesitated a moment longer, even while her expression began to soften somewhat—maybe at the use of the nickname she’d always claimed to hate—and handed him the shears. “Don’t call me Mads.”

Ignoring her, Nick reached up and easily snipped the last few errant branches. “There,” he said, stepping back from the bush to see if he’d missed anything. “I think that’s it.”

“Thanks.” Maddie retrieved her shears, the ghost of a smile nipping at the corners of her mouth. “There are times when I wish I were a little taller.”

Nick chuckled. “I remember when you used to swear that five eight was too tall for a girl.”

“I guess a lot of things have changed.” She met his gaze for a moment and then turned away. “So, what are you doing here?”

“It’s my morning off.” He paused. “I thought I’d come over and see how you were doing.”

“I’m fine.” After laying the shears down on the front steps, she crossed the yard to a large, plastic-lined trash can and pulled it over to where she could start filling it with debris. “How did you know I was staying here?”

“I ran into Tammy Banks.” Nick followed her example, picking up handfuls of cut greenery. “Though it wouldn’t have been too hard to figure out on my own. I knew you wouldn’t be staying with your mother. And this place has been vacant for the past couple of years.”

“I tried renting it out for a while,” she said offhandedly. “But I couldn’t stand the idea of strangers living in Daddy’s house.”

They worked together quietly for a few minutes, stuffing the can with branches and leaves, pulling out the plastic bag when it was full, replacing it with a new one, then starting the process all over again.

“Maddie,” Nick said, breaking the silence, “Tammy also told me you’re here by yourself.”

“That’s right,” she said, without breaking stride. Although, he caught the momentary faltering of her hands and the slight tightening of her features. Even after sixteen years, he could still read her. And this was something she didn’t want to talk about. He should let it go.

Instead, he asked, “Where’s the baby’s father?”

She stopped and looked at him, her brow furrowed in an expression of total disbelief. “Do you really think that you, of all people, have the right to ask me that?”

No. He had no rights at all where she was concerned. Yet it didn’t stop him from thinking of her, of wanting to know more about her—what she’d done with her life these past sixteen years, who she’d become, who she’d loved.

“You’re right,” he said finally. “It’s none of my business. I’m sorry.” Without waiting for a reply, he resumed picking up the remaining branches littering her lawn.

For several moments, she remained silent, watching him. Then she said, “Nick, you don’t have to do my yard work for me.” Her voice had lost its angry edge, and Nick stopped to look at her again.

It was almost his undoing.

He felt the pull of her, of the gentle silver in her eyes and the soft sad smile on her lips. “Maddie—” he took a step toward her, but stopped just short of touching her “—can we talk?” When she didn’t say anything, he added, “We used to be good at talking.”

Still, she didn’t answer, her eyes reflecting thoughts dark as a winter night. When she spoke, her voice was almost a whisper. “That was a long time ago.” She turned away, grabbed one of the full bags, and headed toward the curb. “Besides, there’s nothing to talk about.”

Nick caught up to her and took the bag. “But there is.”

Maddie sighed and turned to face him. “We were kids, Nick. Let’s not dredge it up.”

Standing there looking at her, Nick realized the fine line he walked. If she sent him away, he might never have another chance to explain. And somehow, he had to make Maddie understand what happened sixteen years ago. Then he said, “Okay, I’ll leave it alone.”

“Good.” Maddie turned and started toward another of the bags.

“That is, if you’ll agree to join me for lunch.”

“I can’t.” Her answer was automatic. “I still need to fertilize and put down fresh mulch.”

“I’ll help you later. After we eat.” Nick closed the distance between them, taking a plastic bag from her hands. “We’ll walk down to the Bee-Bop and talk about old times.”

“Nick—”

“Please, Maddie.” He reached out and brushed a smudge of dirt from her cheek, liking the feel of her skin against his fingertips. It was as soft and smooth as he remembered. “I just want to talk.”

She took a step back, away from his outstretched hand. “The Bee-Bop’s still there?”

“Yeah.” Nick grinned, recalling the hours they’d spent in the old diner. “But it’s a little different now.”

“Different?” Maddie arched her eyebrows.

“I’m afraid it attracts a slightly older set now.”

A smile crept across her lips. “Don’t tell me it’s no longer the teenage hot spot.”

“Someone bought out old Mr. Salle a few years back, and they’ve changed it somewhat. You need to see it to understand.”

Maddie hesitated a moment longer and then nodded. “Okay. But just because you’ve got me curious.” Motioning toward the bags they’d filled, she added, “If you’ll carry the rest of these out to the curb for me, I’ll go get cleaned up.”

Nick smiled. “Deal.”

He breathed a sigh of relief as Maddie disappeared into the house. On his way over, he’d told himself he just wanted to explain about Diana and apologize to Maddie for hurting her years ago. He’d been lying to himself and hadn’t even realized it until she’d almost refused his invitation to lunch. What he really needed was to see her smile. To be friends again. Maybe to laugh and remember old times. To be forgiven.

Maddie took only a few minutes. But when she stepped back outside, Nick nearly forgot all thoughts of friendship. She’d changed into a pair of black jeans and a lightweight sweater that matched the gray of her eyes. She looked at him and smiled. The sun captured streaks of satin in her dark hair, and her eyes tempted him, daring him to think of her as anything but a woman. A very desirable woman.

Nick moved to the edge of the steps. “You look nice.”

For a moment, Maddie stood on the porch, fighting the urge to turn around and run back into the house. While she’d been inside, she’d told herself she was crazy to accept Nick’s invitation. She was asking for trouble. She’d put him behind her a long time ago and didn’t want anything more to do with him.

Still, she’d been stuck working on the house all week. Except for a few excursions downtown to pick up groceries and a couple of conversations with Tammy, Maddie hadn’t spoken to another soul. Not even Adelia had bothered to call—of course, that wasn’t exactly surprising. Maddie was going stir-crazy. She was used to being around people, and this solitary life-style was a shock to her system.

Then she’d stepped back outside and realized her mistake.

Nick stood smiling at her from the porch steps, and she felt a familiar tightening in her chest. He was too handsome for his own good. No man with such wickedly dark hair and skin should have eyes the color of a summer sky. And though it had been a fascinating contrast on the boy, it was utterly dangerous on the man. Pulling her gaze away, she moved down the steps. After so many years, he shouldn’t affect her this way. He shouldn’t affect her at all.

They set off toward town, and even without looking at him, Maddie felt the strain of his closeness. Too much history lay between them, too many things that had been left unsaid years ago. The next time she felt lonely, Maddie decided, she’d stay home and give Tammy a call. She certainly wouldn’t make the mistake of going off with Nick Ryan again.

Searching for something to break the awkward silence, she said, “I heard about your father, Nick. I’m sorry.”

Nick glanced at her. “Thank you. But it was ten years ago, and he did it to himself.”

“Tammy said you’d managed to put him into a nursing home.”

“When I went away to school. There was no other way. He couldn’t take care of himself.” Nick shook his head. “Not that it did any good. He still managed to drink himself to death.” He paused and then casually draped an arm around her shoulders. “Enough about my old man. How’s the Ice Queen?”

Maddie laughed lightly. “Talk about people who never change.”

“I don’t know. Adelia’s not that bad.”

“Ha! You don’t know her.”

Nick shot Maddie a look but didn’t say anything more.

They’d just passed the old Baptist church, separating the residential area of town from the business district, when Maddie spotted the newspaper office where she’d once worked. She’d been meaning to stop in for days. “Does Carl Katz still run the Felton Finder?” she asked, nodding toward the one-story building across the street.

Nick glanced in the direction she indicated. “Who else would have the job?”

“Come on.” Maddie started off across the street, motioning for him to follow. “I want to say hello.” She’d worked at the Felton Finder during her last two years of high school. It had started off as an occasional afternoon or Saturday spent helping Mr. Katz. After a while though, her attitude toward the job changed. She grew to love everything about it—the smell of print, Carl Katz’s gruff manner, the stain of ink on her fingers, and especially the writing. Eventually, she spent most of her free afternoons at the paper and half days on Saturday. Stepping inside the door felt more like coming home than anything else since her return to Felton.

Carl Katz sat at a desk behind the counter, pecking away on an old manual typewriter. “Just leave the mail on the counter, Jeb,” he said without raising his head. “I’ll look at it later.”

Maddie shot Nick a conspiratorial smile before leaning against the ink-stained counter. “I would think you’d have figured out how to use a computer by now.”

Carl looked up, squinting through his bifocals. “Well, I’ll be. Can it really be Maddie Aims?”

Maddie grinned. “In the flesh.”

His gaze shifted to Nick and then settled back on Maddie. “I see you’re still hanging around with that no-account boy from across the river.”

Maddie suppressed her laughter. It had been one of their favorite arguments. “He’s still the best-looking guy in town.”

“So you keep saying.” Carl shook his head, though his eyes gleamed with delight. “Heard he wants to be a doctor. It’ll never happen.”

Maddie turned and smiled at Nick, who looked at her and Carl as if they’d lost it. “Oh, I don’t know about that,” she said, not taking her eyes off Nick. “I think he has potential.”

“Humph.” Carl glared at her for a moment longer and then broke into a huge smile. Leaving his desk, he came around the counter and gave her a fierce hug before taking her hands in his. “So what took you so long to come back, girlie?”

Maddie shrugged and returned his smile. “I’ve been busy.”

“Too busy to come back and see old friends?”

Maddie shifted uneasily, a sliver of guilt worming its way beneath her skin. He was right. She’d let her problems with her mother keep her away from Felton and the people in it.

“I haven’t seen your byline anywhere,” Carl went on, interrupting her thoughts. “And I’ve been looking.”

She shook her head a little sadly. What was done was done. “I never finished my degree in journalism.”

“Never finished?” Carl tightened his hold on her hands, a look of concern on his face. “I thought your mama told me you graduated top of your class.”

“Mother told you that?” Maddie would have laid odds that Adelia never spoke of her to anybody—especially someone like Carl Katz.

The old newspaperman nodded. “Sure did.”

“Well, I did graduate in the top five of my class, but both my degrees are in business.” She glanced at Nick, who had moved up next to her.

“Degrees?” Carl’s voice pulled her attention back to him.

“I have an MBA from Northwestern,” she said. Carl didn’t look impressed, so she added, “I work for an international consulting firm in Miami. I’m their marketing expert.”

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that, girl.” Carl released her hands and moved back behind his counter. “You had a lot of potential as a writer.”

Maddie forced a smile. She wasn’t used to someone dismissing her job. Most people were impressed by what she did. Evidently, Carl Katz was the exception. He acted like she’d settled for second best. She glanced at Nick, who stood silently watching her, but she couldn’t read the expression on his face.

“I’m good at what I do,” she said, turning back to Carl. “I travel all over the world.” Almost as an afterthought, she said, “And I really like it.”

“Good.” Carl nodded, but his expression didn’t change. “That’s good, at least.”

Suddenly Maddie felt very uncomfortable, not knowing what else to say. She’d come in here to say hello to an old friend and ended up feeling as if she’d let him down.

“Well,” Nick said, stepping in to fill the silence. “We need to be going.”

“It was good seeing you, girlie.” Carl nodded and returned to his typewriter. Then he added, “Don’t be a stranger.”

“I won’t,” Maddie managed, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to come back. The memory of the dreams she’d let go were too strong here. Nick took her arm and they started to leave.

“Doc.”

Carl’s voice stopped them, and Nick turned, his hand on the door. “Yes?”

The old man pursed his lips and nodded. “I was real sorry to hear about Diana.”

For a moment, Nick didn’t respond, though Maddie could feel the tension in the hand that held her arm. Then he nodded, acknowledging the other man’s condolences. “Thank you, Mr. Katz.” Opening the door, he let Maddie go first before following her outside.

Walking beside him, Maddie felt the weight of Nick’s grief. She could see his misery in the grim set of his features, sense his sorrow in the air surrounding him. She didn’t want to be aware of it, but the bond they’d formed as children still existed—whether she wanted it to or not. And his suffering chipped away at the barrier she’d built around her heart.

“Nick,” she began, unable to look at him. “I’m really sorry about Diana, too.”

He nodded but remained silent.

She wanted to let it go. She didn’t want to offer more than any other concerned acquaintance might offer. But she couldn’t. He’d been her best friend once, and his pain touched her in a way she couldn’t explain or dismiss. “Are you okay?” she asked. “I don’t mean just now. I mean, in general. Are you all right?”

For several moments, she thought he wouldn’t speak—and that would have been her answer. Then he said, “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Maddie chewed her bottom lip, tormented by the strong desire to offer something of herself to him. “If you want to talk about it,” she said, “I’m here.”

Again, Nick hesitated before answering, and Maddie knew he was considering her offer. “Maybe sometime,” he finally said. “But not today.” He lifted his face to the sun, then turned to her and smiled, though it didn’t extend to his eyes. “It’s too nice out. And I just want to enjoy spending a little time with you. It’s been too long.”

Maddie nodded and smiled, too, feeling as though she’d just made a narrow escape. But from what, she couldn’t say.

A few minutes later, Nick escorted her through the door of their favorite teenage haunt, and Maddie couldn’t believe the change. The only thing the same about the Bee-Bop was its name.

When they were kids, the place had been a popular soda-and-sandwich shop, complete with blaring jukebox, torn vinyl booths, and squeaky counter stools. During the day, it had served a decent breakfast and lunch, and local adults patronized the premises. But by unspoken consensus, at three o’clock every afternoon, the kids took over.

The new owners had attempted to redecorate in a style reminiscent of the past, but the result was an overly bright restaurant that looked exactly like what it was—an updated version of a fifties’ diner. Everything was new, from the shiny black-and-white tiles to the crisp, fifties-style uniforms on the staff. The effect was startling and a bit garish.

“Despite the decor,” Nick said, obviously reading Maddie’s thoughts, “the food’s still pretty good.”

Maddie let out a short laugh. “It better be.”

A girl in her late teens approached them with menus in hand. “Hi, Dr. Ryan.” She gave him a smile that offered more than food. “Table for two?”

“Thanks, Bridgette.” Nick answered her smile with one of his own, and Maddie thought the girl was going to collapse on the spot.

Rolling her eyes, Maddie followed Bridgette to their table. But once they were seated, she couldn’t hold back any longer. “I guess some things never change.”

Nick looked at her, an expression of innocence on his face. “What?”

Maddie shook her head, not buying his act. “You’re still turning every female head around and loving every minute of it.”

“Who? Bridgette?” Nick glanced in the direction of the hostess. “She’s a kid.”

“A kid who’s old enough to be out of school and working.” Maddie crossed her arms and rested them on the table. “I bet she’s almost—” she flicked her wrist “—nineteen.”

“That’s what I said. A kid.”

It was Maddie’s turn to don an innocent look. “Why are you so defensive? All I said was that you’re still knocking them dead.”

Nick gave her a speculative grin. “You’re jealous.”

“Ha!” Maddie leaned back in the booth, keeping her arms crossed. “Of what? A mere child with perfect teeth and twenty-year-old thighs? Not me.”

Nick laughed and shook his head. The sunshine was back in his eyes and Maddie let the warmth flow over her. Nothing was quite as exhilarating as being with Nick. Time hadn’t changed that. And it scared her.

“Shall we order?” she asked, thinking she understood Bridgette’s dilemma perfectly.

To Maddie’s surprise, the food really was good. They ordered fajita salads that turned out to be every bit as fancy as the ones she got in Miami. While they ate, their conversation revolved around the baby.

Nick turned out to be a surprisingly good listener, even as she rattled on about things only an expectant mother would care about. Subjects like baby furniture and which formula to use, whether cloth or paper diapers were better and whether to breast- or bottle-feed. She’d just about wound down as the waitress cleared their plates and refreshed their drinks.

“You’ve been amazingly patient, Dr. Ryan,” she said, taking a sip of her tea.

“I like hearing your plans for the baby.” Nick’s expression softened. “I enjoy listening to you.” For a moment, he held her gaze, his eyes a deeper blue than usual.

Maddie felt the pull of him—there was something incredibly seductive about this man, something compelling. But that was the danger, wasn’t it? Falling for Nick again. Letting him sweep her away with his charm and devastating looks. Letting him make her feel special. Believing in him.

With an effort, she lowered her gaze and studied the cup in her hand. She wouldn’t let herself want something from Nick—not even the close friendship they’d once shared.

“Have you thought of any names?” he asked, breaking into her thoughts.

Maddie looked up, relieved that he seemed unaware of her thoughts. “I haven’t thought of a boy’s name yet. But if it’s a girl, I’m going to call her Lily.”

“Lily.” He seemed to test the name, rolling it around on his tongue as if to get a feel for it. “I like it. A bit old-fashioned, but I like it.”

“Me, too.”

Just then, Nick’s cell phone buzzed. He pulled it from his pocket and glanced at the screen. “Sorry,” he said. “It’s the office, I need to take it.” With an apologetic smile, he slipped from the booth and headed toward the front door and out of earshot.

Maddie watched him cross the restaurant. He still wore a pair of jeans better than any man she’d ever known. The denim molded itself sinfully to his long legs and bottom, and there was something achingly masculine in his movements. Something almost … decadent.

He kept his back to the room as he spoke on the phone, and Maddie let her gaze drift upward, over his trim waist to the dark hair teasing the collar of his shirt. He needed a haircut. But then, he’d always needed a haircut, she remembered. The shoulders, however, were definitely broader, stronger. But even as she admired the expanse of muscle pulling at the seams of his shirt, she saw the sudden tension in them, and she knew something was wrong.

When he returned, his face was set in grim lines. “I’m sorry, Maddie. I need to go.”

“Emergency?”

“It’s my son, Jon.” Nick shook his head, a look of helplessness on his face. “He got in a fight at school. The other kid had a knife.”

Fear for Nick and his son coiled in her stomach. “How bad is he hurt?” She started to rise, but Nick stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

“I don’t know.” He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and dropped a couple of bills on the table. “They’ve taken him to the office. Ted’s with him, but Bette wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t serious. I’ve got to go.”

Maddie slipped out of the booth. “I’ll come with you.”

“No, that’s not necessary.” His eyes were haunted. “Stay.” He motioned toward the table. “Enjoy your tea.”

Maddie grabbed his arm, forcing him to look at her. Whether either of them wanted it or not, he needed someone right now, and she was going to be there for him. “I’m going with you.”