Where the Heart Is by Patricia Keelyn

CHAPTER SIX

From his bedroom doorway, Jon heard the front door close behind Sheriff Banks. He grabbed his phone, scooted back to his bed, and opened a Stephen King novel. The low rumble of the police cruiser starting up outside filtered through the windows, followed by the squeal of tires on wet pavement as the sheriff swung the car around and headed toward town. Jon wondered how long it would take for his dad to deliver the bad news.

When he heard footsteps on the stairs, he pretended to be absorbed in the book.

His dad knocked once before entering the room. “We need to talk.”

Jon looked up, trying to hide his apprehension.

“What are you doing?”

Jon shrugged. “Just reading a book.”

His dad nodded and glanced around the room, leaving Jon to worry about just how much trouble he was in. He knew Sheriff Banks had been upset about Jon lying, but what else could he have done? If he’d told the sheriff who pulled the knife, Jon would be dead meat.

“Sheriff Banks was just here,” his dad said finally. He looked Jon square in the eye—his dad always did that—and it took all Jon’s willpower not to glance away. “He knows who you were fighting with. And who owned the knife.”

Relief washed through Jon, followed by a flicker of fear. Who’d told? It could have been any number of kids. There had been at least a dozen guys watching the fight. Who would be dumb enough to snitch on Roc? Then Jon realized that it didn’t matter. No matter who’d talked to the sheriff, Roc would blame Jon.

His dad rose from the bed, drawing Jon’s attention back to the moment. “You’ve been suspended from school for fighting on school property.”

Jon blinked, unsure of what to say or how to react to being suspended. It seemed like a pretty minor problem compared to dealing with Roc.

“For two weeks.” His dad just stood there, his eyes full of disappointment. “Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?”

For a brief second, Jon wished he could tell his dad everything—the way he used to. He quickly suppressed the urge. His dad wouldn’t understand. He didn’t understand anything anymore. Instead, Jon shrugged and shook his head.

“Under the circumstances, consider yourself grounded, as well. You’re not to leave the house.” His dad stood for a moment longer, then turned away, heading for the door. Just before leaving, he stopped, his back still to Jon. “I’ll run over to the school tomorrow and pick up your work for the week.” Without another word, he left the room.

Jon tossed down the phone and fell back on his bed. What the hell was he going to do now? Missing a couple weeks of school was no big deal. He was acing all his classes, anyway.

Dealing with Roc, however, had just become a whole lot tougher.

Jon had never been more scared than when Roc pulled out that knife. Until then, Jon had thought he had things under control. Sure, Roc was older and bigger, but Jon figured he could take him. If not, he’d get a few cuts and bruises. So what? But he hadn’t counted on a knife—or knives. Just because Sheriff Banks had confiscated Roc’s switchblade didn’t mean there wasn’t another around somewhere, and now that Roc thought Jon had turned him in, there was going to be hell to pay.

As before, Jon considered talking to his dad. He’d grown up in this dumb town. Maybe he could come up with some way out of this mess. But again, Jon dismissed the idea. His dad just didn’t get it. He actually liked it here. The only solution Jon could see was to get out of Felton all together, and his dad wasn’t about to agree to that.

Maddie tried to reach Nick several times during the next couple of weeks. She left several messages with Bette and even one on his answering machine at home. He never returned her calls. She tried not to let it bother her, but it did. For someone who’d been intent on renewing their old friendship, he’d certainly become scarce all of a sudden.

At first, she thought it was because he knew she’d try to pay him for the plants. But after several days, that idea didn’t hold up. Nick was never one to shy away from a friendly argument. So why was he suddenly avoiding her?

Finally, she decided that if she didn’t hear from him soon, she’d corner him at the clinic. Her next appointment with Ted Eagen was on a Thursday. But when she got to the clinic that morning, Bette told her it was Nick’s day out of the office. Maddie shook her head. To hell with him. She had better things to worry about than Nick Ryan and his vanishing act.

Fifteen minutes later, she once again sat wrapped in an oversize paper towel as Ted Eagen checked her blood pressure.

“Fine. Fine.” Ted nodded and removed the blood-pressure cuff from Maddie’s arm. “Everything’s back to where it should be.”

Maddie breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God.”

“Seems coming back to Felton has been good for you.”

“Things were getting a little hectic in Miami.”

Ted smiled and patted her hand before turning around to write on her chart. “How are things with your mother?” he asked without looking at her.

“She’s the same.” Maddie hesitated. Before coming here today, she’d planned on telling him what she thought of his revealing her medical problems to Adelia. But Maddie hadn’t been able to work up the nerve. It wasn’t easy being an adult with the man who’d doctored you since birth. “Dr. Eagen, I don’t mean to criticize, but I wish you wouldn’t speak to my mother about my condition.”

He lifted his head and met her gaze. “I see.”

“I know you meant well, but …”

“You’re right, of course.” Nodding, Ted swiveled on his stool to face her and slipped his hands into the pockets of his lab coat. “Sometimes it’s hard for us old-timers to remember that our patients have grown up. And as a parent myself …” He paused, pressing his lips together as if deciding whether to continue. Then he said, “I just didn’t want you and your mother to miss this time together.”

“I appreciate the thought, Dr. Eagen. Really—”

“No, no. My fault. I apologize.” He turned back to his charts. “Being an old man is no excuse.”

Maddie lowered her gaze, feeling about two inches tall for even bringing up the subject. He’d meant well. She knew that he’d always treated his patients like family. And now that his only daughter was gone … “I never told you how sorry I was to hear about Diana,” she said.

He smiled tightly and continued making notes on her chart. “Thank you.”

“I know it must be hard. On all of you.”

Ted closed her file and spent a few seconds arranging things neatly on the counter. “Especially Jon.”

“I know what he’s going through. I see a little of myself in him.”

“I suppose you do.” Ted turned to look at her, and now his smile was sad. “Too bad Diana wasn’t more like you.”

Maddie didn’t know what to say. Diana had been everything Maddie wasn’t in high school—pretty and popular. And she’d ended up with Nick.

“Don’t get me wrong,” he added. “I loved my daughter. Maybe too much.” He pursed his lips and looked away. “But she always was a bit spoiled. My fault, I guess. I made sure she had everything she ever wanted.”

Maddie remained silent, distinctly uncomfortable with Ted’s words. He continued almost as if he’d forgotten her presence. “I’d just like to see her husband and son have a chance at happiness.” He lifted his gaze back to Maddie. “They deserve that, don’t they?”

Maddie nodded, unable to do anything else.

Ted smiled sheepishly. “Well, listen to me. I’m going on like an old man again. You’re doing fine. Keep up with the diet and exercise, and I’ll see you again in two weeks.”

After Ted left the examining room, Maddie considered his words. His comment about Nick and Jon deserving happiness stuck in her mind. He’d confirmed her earlier suspicions that the two were having serious difficulties. As she dressed, the thought continued to tug at her, pulling out her old feelings for Nick. Maybe by being his friend again, she could help him through this difficult time. After all, she knew what it was like to lose a parent. Maybe she could help Nick understand his son.

“Bette, got any clues where I can find Nick today?” she asked when she was back out in the reception area.

Bette smiled. “I’ve got more than a clue. I can give you directions.”

According to Bette, Nick was building a house in the hills north of town. Maddie had no problem following the other woman’s unconventional instructions. Of course, it helped that she was familiar with all the local landmarks. Otherwise, she might have become hopelessly lost.

It was about three miles outside of town, and for most of that distance, Maddie considered turning around and going back. Part of her, the rational part, knew seeking out Nick was a mistake. He was in pain, and she wasn’t in the best shape emotionally, either. Roger’s behavior still weighed heavily on her heart, and she had the baby to think about.

But the other side of her, the side that had once loved a troubled boy from the wrong side of the river, wasn’t listening to reason. She wanted to help Nick if she could. He’d meant everything to her once, and she couldn’t forget that.

As she pulled into the building site, the beauty of the surroundings struck her. The skeleton of a house sat on the edge of the clearing with the mountains rising at its back, overlooking layers of tree-covered valleys. It reminded her of the spot she and Nick had frequented when they were kids.

A truck sat in the yard, but there was no sign of Nick. Getting out of her car, she heard the sound of hammering echoing among the tall evergreens.

“Nick!” she called, following the sound. “Nick! It’s Maddie.”

The hammering stopped, and the mountain stillness almost unnerved her. Then Nick strode out onto the front porch wearing only dust-covered jeans. Something quickened within her. When had he developed a physique that looked like he belonged here, building a house, rather than closed up in a clinic all day? As she remembered, he’d been a well-put-together young man. But this was something else again. Something very adult male.

“Maddie?” His voice snapped her out of her thoughts and pulled her eyes upward to meet his cool gaze. He didn’t look exactly pleased to see her. “What are you doing here?”

Sarcasm seemed her only defense. “It’s good to see you, too, Nick.” She crossed her arms and gave him what she hoped was a disquieting glare. “I was beginning to wonder if you’d left town.”

He frowned and shifted uncomfortably. “I’ve been busy.”

“Too busy to return a phone call?” She didn’t even attempt to keep the irritation from her voice. “Actually, it was several calls. In fact, Bette and I have gotten to know each other very well.”

“Sorry. As I said, I’ve been busy.”

She considered letting it go. After all, she hadn’t come out here to rake Nick over the coals for not returning her calls. But she did want to know why he’d sent her plants and then decided to avoid her. “I thought at least you’d come by to see how the flowers and bushes looked once they were planted.”

Nick folded his arms and for a moment remained stubbornly silent. When he finally spoke, she heard an unexpected edge of emotion in his voice. “I saw them the other day. On my way to the office.”

That surprised her. Her house wasn’t on the route between Nick’s place and town. He’d obviously gone out of his way to pass by. The realization reinforced her resolve to make him tell her why he’d decided to ignore her. “And?”

He met her gaze again, his eyes a slightly warmer shade than they’d been a few moments earlier. “They’re nice.”

“I want to pay you for them. And for Bobby Fieldman’s time.”

Nick shook his head. “Forget it.”

“Really, Nick.”

“I said, forget it.”

Maddie knew she wasn’t going to win this battle, and it didn’t really matter. She hadn’t sought him out to discuss the plants. “So what is it, Nick?” she asked, remembering the direct approach had always worked best with him. “Why have you been avoiding me?”

He sighed. “Let it be, Maddie.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but then thought better of it. What now? She considered getting back into her car and driving away, consoling herself with the knowledge that she’d at least tried to be his friend. Instead, she motioned toward the panoramic view. “You’ve picked a beautiful site for your house.”

Nick scanned the surroundings. “Yeah, it’s pretty special here.”

She let a moment slip by and then said, “I thought you might argue about the plants, so I thought I’d even the score by bringing you lunch.” She lifted the bags she’d brought from the car. “That is, unless you don’t like Dell’s subs anymore.”

For a moment he just stood there, apparently struggling with some internal battle.

“Come on, Nick,” she said. “Even musclebound carpenters need to eat.”

Another moment passed, and then he smiled, not easily, but enough to acknowledge her effort. “Musclebound?”

Maddie shrugged and grinned.

His smile grew. “What kind of subs?”

“The big ones, with double everything.”

“What a memory.” This time, his smile reached his eyes, and she breathed a sigh of gratitude. “Let me go clean up.”

“Okay.” Maddie set the bags containing the sandwiches on the front steps. “I have sodas in the car.” She went to retrieve the small cooler, and by the time she had everything spread out on the porch, Nick had returned to sit next to her on the steps.

He’d found a shirt and put it on without bothering to button it. At first, she was grateful for the removal of that distracting male chest from her line of vision. But the brief glimpses she caught every time he moved tantalized her even more. She wondered what was wrong with her that she should be so distracted by the sight of a well-developed set of male pecs. It must be hormones, she decided. Maybe pregnant women were more susceptible to gorgeous men.

She handed him a sandwich and soda, and for a few minutes, they ate in silence. Finally, she couldn’t stand the quiet any longer. “So tell me about this place you’re building.”

“It’s a house.”

“Very good, Nick. I never would have figured that out myself.”

Nick sighed. “What do you want to know?”

Maddie ignored his obvious reluctance to discuss the subject. “Oh, I guess, first of all, where did you learn to build houses?”

“I worked construction while in college.” Nick kept his eyes focused on his sandwich. “I like working with wood, the feeling of creating something.”

“Very admirable.”

“It’s an outlet. And when Diana died …” His voice seemed to catch, and Maddie felt a twinge of jealousy she didn’t dare explore. “I thought this would be a good way for Jon and me to spend time together.”

She considered following that line of thought, but decided against it. Something in Nick’s expression told her they were treading on dangerous ground. “Are you planning to live out here when it’s done?”

“No.” He paused, and then added, “Actually I don’t know. It started out as a vacation house. Look, Maddie—” Nick scrunched the sandwich wrapper and shoved it back into the bag “—I’m afraid I’m not very good company today.”

“I’ve noticed.” She handed him her wrapper, and he stuffed it into the bag with his. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Talk about what?” He kept his eyes focused straight ahead while his hands worked the paper bag into a rough ball.

“Whatever’s got you in such a snit.”

He shifted to look at her. “A snit?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m not in a snit.”

“Believe me, Nick—” she looked him straight in the eye and dared him to tell her she was wrong “—I know a snit when I see one.”

Nick scowled at her for a moment and then broke down and smiled, shaking his head. Only Maddie. He’d never had any defense against her. Diana would have begged and pleaded or used some roundabout way to get what she wanted. She never confronted him directly the way Maddie did. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed that until this moment.

“Tell me about Jon.” Her voice brought him out of his reverie.

“Jon.” Nick ran a hand through his hair. Just thinking about the boy frustrated him. “He hates living in Felton. Just like his mother did.” And he blames me for her death.

Maddie turned sideways on the porch, resting her back against the railing. “Diana didn’t like Felton?”

“She hated it, wanted out as badly as we did when we were young.”

“So why did you come back?”

“Ted had a heart attack.”

Maddie shook her head. “I didn’t know.”

“He’s better now. But he was laid up for months. He needed me to take care of his practice for him.” Nick sighed. “It was supposed to be temporary.”

“So what happened?”

“Even after he got better, Ted didn’t want us to leave. Diana and Jon were his only family.” He sighed again and decided to tell her something he hadn’t admitted to anyone else. Even Diana. “I guess I wasn’t in a hurry to move back to Atlanta, either. It’s funny. After all those years when I couldn’t wait to get out of Felton, now I’ve grown to love it here.”

“And Diana?”

“She got depressed and started drinking. And I …” I hardly noticed. “I guess I didn’t realize how serious it had become.” He hesitated, afraid to say more, yet needing to talk to somebody who’d understand. This thing about Diana had been festering inside him for nearly two years, and he needed to get it out in the open. “The night of her accident, I was delivering a baby. She wasn’t too happy about being left by herself, so she hit the bottle.”

“Nick, she knew what she was getting into when she married you. She was a doctor’s daughter.”

“Oh, she had no trouble being a doctor’s wife.” Nick let out a short laugh and shook his head. “Not in Atlanta, anyway, where she had her friends and the club. But here in Felton? That was a different story.”

“I’m sorry, Nick.”

“Yes, so am I.”

“Nick …” He heard the hesitation in her voice. “Nick, you can’t blame yourself for her death.”

“Why not?” Jon does. “Who else should I blame?”

“It was an accident.”

He met Maddie’s gaze, wishing he could believe her. “Was it?”

“Yes.” Maddie leaned forward, her eyes flashing like silver in the afternoon light. She’d always stood up to him. And for him. He was grateful that some things hadn’t changed. “If you must blame somebody,” she continued, “blame Diana.”

“Diana?”

“You didn’t force her to drink that night.”

“I might as well have.”

Maddie seemed out of words. He could see the frustration in her eyes. But this time he couldn’t let her defend him. This time she couldn’t make things better.

“So why didn’t you return my calls?”

“I thought it best.” Resting his elbows on his knees, Nick clasped his hands in front of him. “We should leave the past alone.”

“That’s what I thought. But as I remember, you were the one who wanted to talk about old times.” There was no accusation in her voice, only bewilderment.

“I was wrong.”

“Does this have something to do with Jon?”

He glanced sideways at her, surprised at her perception. Although he shouldn’t have been. Maddie always could see right through him. She’d known what he was thinking, sometimes before he knew it himself.

“Well, things are a little touchy between us right now.”

“The way I see it,” she said, “we could both use a friend. I’m expecting a baby without a husband. And you—” she reached across the distance between them and took his hand “—you’ve lost your wife. Plus, you have a son who is hurt and angry. What harm could it do to spend a little time together, talk about old times, maybe even groan a little about the current sorry state of our affairs?”

“Maddie—” he turned his hand and wove his fingers through hers “—I wish …” There was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to tell her. But he couldn’t. He’d hurt her enough already. Shaking his head, he separated their fingers and set her hand back on her knee.

“Okay.” She pressed her lips together and stood, the sting of his rejection visible in her eyes. Her strength reminded him of that night sixteen years ago when he’d told her that he and Diana were married. She’d been silent then, too. Silent. And angry. Proud. And hurt.

Nick knew he couldn’t let her leave like this. Not again. “Hey, Mads.”

She stopped and turned around.

“Did you ever learn to cook?”

“Me?” She shook her head. “Never. You?”

“Nope.” He rose from the porch step and took a stab at brushing the dust from his jeans. “But I grill a mean steak.”

“Yeah?” A slow smile spread across her face, bringing the light back into her eyes. And into his heart.

Nick returned her smile and tucked his hands into the waistband of his jeans. He felt like a teenager again, asking for a date. “How about Friday night?”

“I don’t know.” Her eyes sparkled with mischief. “I might be busy.”

“Jon and I could use a little feminine company.”

She hesitated a moment longer and then said, “Okay. But on one condition.”

“Name it.”

“I supply dessert.”

Nick groaned aloud. “Not gooey-butter cake.”

“Hey, is it a deal or what?”

Nick laughed and crossed his arms. “Okay. It’s a deal.”

The silence spread between them, slow and easy. The way it used to when they were young.

“About seven?” Nick asked, suddenly unsure of his own voice.

“Yeah. That’s fine.” Maddie wiggled her fingers at him and turned to leave. “See you.”

“Yeah. See you.”

On the way back to town, Maddie’s mood brightened considerably. The sun shone in the clear blue sky, and the air coming through her open window brushed against her face, fresh and clean. All around her, winter had given way to spring. She threw back her head, loving the feel of the air whipping through her hair, and joined the singer on the radio as he sang about eternal love.

Despite all her earlier reservations, she was looking forward to having dinner with Nick and Jon. Felton had been good for her health, but she’d been lonely. Her decision to reestablish her friendship with Nick was looking better and better all the time.

Once in town, she decided to make one last stop before heading home. The Felton Finder. She’d been thinking about it since the day she and Nick had stopped in last week. She needed something to do, and from the looks of things at the newspaper, Carl Katz could use an extra set of hands.

When she walked through the door, Carl sat in his usual spot, pecking away at his antiquated typewriter. “I knew you’d be back,” he said without looking up.

“Then you knew more than I did.”

“Once the paper gets in your blood, it doesn’t go away.”

“I managed for sixteen years.”

“But you’re back.” He looked at her then, a wicked smile on his face. “And I could use a good writer.”

Maddie sighed and walked around the counter to prop herself on the edge of his desk. “It’s been a long time since I’ve done any writing, Carl.”

“No problem, girlie. With a little help, it’ll come back. It’s like riding a bicycle.”

“Well, I don’t know about that.” Maddie grinned and crossed her arms. “But I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take a stab at it, if you let me help out in other ways, too.”

“I don’t need any other help.”

“Look, Carl, I’ve got an MBA from one of the best business schools in the country.” Maddie pointedly glanced around at the sorry-looking office. “I’m sure I could find some way to help out around here.”

Carl obviously caught her unspoken message. “There’s nothing wrong with this place.”

“Nothing that a little modernization wouldn’t cure.”

“I can’t afford to modernize.”

“You can’t afford not to. If you give me a hand with my writing, I’ll show you how to bring this place into the twenty-first century.”

Carl seemed to consider her offer. “Can’t pay much.”

“I don’t need much. In fact, for the next five months or so, we’ll consider it an even trade. Your skills for mine.”

“And after that?”

“Let’s just take this one step at a time, shall we?” Smiling, Maddie got off the desk and started to leave.

Carl’s voice stopped her before she reached the door. “What happened, Maddie?”

She stopped and turned. “What happened?”

Carl rose from his desk and removed his glasses. “Why did you quit writing?”

Maddie sighed and let her gaze wander around the familiar office. “I’m not sure, Carl. I gave up on a lot of my dreams all at the same time. Working for a newspaper, writing.” Nick.

After a moment Carl said, “Well, maybe things worked out for the best then.”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe you needed to come home to rediscover your dreams.”

Her conversation with Carl played through her mind as Maddie made her way home. When she got there, she headed for the stairs that led to the attic, where she’d stored the last of her father’s papers, along with her own memorabilia.

Fifteen minutes later, under a stack of dusty old boxes, she found the trunk filled with her things. Opening the lid, she stared at her collection of odd keepsakes, mementos of her high school years. On top lay a framed photograph of her and Nick at the senior prom. Her hand trembled as she reached down to pick it up. Sitting on the edge of the trunk, she smiled at the memory of that night.

Nick had been so handsome, despite his ill-fitting rented tux. He’d gone to please her, and Maddie had been proud to be with him. Some of the other boys had snickered at him behind his back—very few of the kids from across the river ever attended school functions. But none of the girls had laughed. Maddie had been the envy of every female there.

How things had changed for him.

Setting the picture carefully on the floor, Maddie turned back to the trunk and spotted a stack of notebooks. She pulled them out, grateful now that she’d carefully marked each with the date and contents. There were five journals covering her high school years, plus several notebooks filled with her attempts at fiction.

Maybe Carl was right.

She put the photo back in the trunk but kept the notebooks out. Standing, she closed the lid. Maybe it was time for her to rediscover some of her old dreams.