Sinfully Devoted by Amber Torney
Chapter Fifteen - Logan
Looking out over the grounds of the hospital, I needed to toughen my resolve. I just needed to give her time, make sure I was there to help her get through the mess, and if it came to it, I’d be there helping her bury the bodies. I’d stayed out there on the balcony after letting the others know she was awake. I’d been trying to get my own feelings under control before going back in .
I was angry at so many people, and just watching her as she remembered everything- it took everything I had not to raise unholy hell. My Tiny Dancer and I had lost so much we could never get back. Although these circumstances were different. Knowing the only family you ever had was dead to you changes you. I knew I wasn’t alone.
Things had changed between the guys and me; Stryker and I were almost back to what we’d had before Phee showed up. The only thing that was different was that we now had her to ground us. I was grateful to Damon; he had taken me under his wing, and gave me a place to stay despite the run-ins I’d had with him. I had misjudged him.
“You okay, Logan?” Paige asked, walking up beside me and leaning over the balcony.
“Depends on how you define okay, I guess.” Shrugging my shoulders, I mimicked her stance. “I never want to see that look on her face again. She remembers everything. I need to make this right, Paige.”
“You just need to give her time, Lo’, but be open with her.” I side-eyed her. I could tell that something was eating her up. She was kinda carefree by nature, but now, it was like her mood had done a 180-degree flip. She was tense, with ridged shoulders, and the scowl she wore could kill without trying. “Secrets will kill anything you may have.”
An uncomfortable silence seemed to settle over us for a minute or two. We were both caught up in our own heads. Paige turned to face me as she leaned against the rail. Her mouth opened and shut as she struggled to find the words.
“Just say it, Paige,” I gave her an opening. If she was going to help us, she was right, I needed to be an open book.
“What do you have to make right?” she asked. I guessed Stryker hadn’t told her much about my history with Phee.
“Long story, Paige. One that I don’t feel like talking about.” Well, I didn’t feel like talking to her about it. Paige’s wrath was worse than her bark, and the fact that she was a Lennox didn’t help, either. The chick was psychotic on the best of days; I didn’t need her sneaking into my room at night and chopping my balls off with a rusty butcher’s knife.
“Come on, Logan. You know me.” She stared off into the distance. Taking out a cigarette, she lit up. I knew she was trying to calm herself down, but if I told her everything, I couldn’t be sure if I was signing my own death warrant.
“Yeah, and that’s what I’m afraid of.” Reaching over, I snatched it from her and inhaled. I didn’t normally smoke when sober, but in that moment, I would have done anything to try calming my nerves. I decided to give her a small bone. “Let’s just say that I have a fair bit to atone for. What’s eating at you?”
I hoped she didn’t catch on to the deliberate change of topic, but as long as I didn’t have to speak about myself, I was happy.
“Stryker.” There was something about the way she said his name that had me perked.
“What did he do this time?” The two of them had this tug of war going on constantly. Stryker was so damn protective of his cousin that he had the tendency to suffocate her. They acted more like brother and sister most days, and she’d been through enough that I could understand why he would want to bring Paige into the fold to help Phee.
“The jerkoff thinks he has the right to decide what’s best for Phoenix.” There was disdain in her voice as she spoke, but it wasn’t a surprise. I’d had a feeling he would be just as protective of Phee, if not more so. “I may not have formally met the girl yet, but I do know what keeping her in the dark will do.”
“I kinda agree with him on that, Paige.” It wasn’t as though I was trying to piss her off more, but Stryker had a point. “Listen, I don’t know his reasoning, but she has just woken up, and she needs to heal from the physical injuries before she can deal with the ones that you can’t see.”
“Oh my fucking god, you can’t be fucking serious right now. You’re just as fucked up as my damn cousin.” Clearly, it wasn’t my day with the ladies. I tried reasoning with Paige, and suddenly I’m public enemy number two, the first being Stryker. She was looking at me like I’d pissed in her Cheerios.
“Paige, it’s not like that.” I figured pleading my case was going to be my best bet. “I’ll try to make this a little more black and white. You have both experienced evil, yeah?”
Nodding her reply, I continued. “The only thing different is that she has experienced it twice- at the hands of the same guy. You didn’t see what Stryker and I did, the fear in her eyes. It’s fucking killing me inside. We just want her to heal from the physical injuries first, without the added stress of the knowledge that her attacker is alive and being held captive.”
“You’re only going to make things worse, Logan.” Sighing, Paige pushed off the railing. Walking to the door, she paused for a second, looking back at me. “Don’t do that to her, Logan. If she means as much to you as you say, don’t play a part in keeping her in the dark. You, of all people, should know what it’s like to have that happen, and how it made you feel. What do you think it will do to her when she finds out?”
Damn, Paige was right. The betrayal I’d felt when I found everything out was crushing. So much so, I had been spending the time since either couch surfing, or staying at the hospital. There was no way in hell I was going to do that to her. Someone needed to have her back, and I guessed that someone was gonna be me, even if she didn’t want me to.