Not His Omega To Love by GS Holmes

17Cody

I staredat my computer screen. I’d struggled so long to write even the first sentence of my valedictory speech. Now that I was no longer giving the speech, the words had come easily. To be fair, I’d started it when I was hiding in my bedroom for most of the day, avoiding both Ethan and Reggie.

My stomach fluttered, and I placed a hand on my stomach, where the baby let their existence be known by the gentlest of movements. I was getting bonded. Tomorrow. Sometimes I wanted to cry when I thought of my impending bonding ceremony and loveless nature of it. Although I’d never given much thought to a bonding ceremony before, I’d figured the event would take place with an abundance of friends and family members. That it would be a love match between us.

With a groan, I fell back on the bed, one hand cupping my pregnant belly. My bond was for practical reasons, and I’d better not forget that. I should be grateful to Ethan for coming up with this solution to make my life much better. Bonded omegas were respected, and although I was young, my future bondmate was an admirable alpha with his own business. Not that I expected anything out of this other than his name, but that was enough.

It had to be enough. As soon as I stopped thinking about all the activities bonded couples engaged in, I would feel better. No sex. No sleeping in the same bed together, thus making the bond only partial and easy to break away from in the end. And sure as heck no love between us either.

But at least he cared.

He did care, didn’t he?

My phone rang, startling me out of my musings. I’d been doing that a lot lately since Ethan’s proposal. Or had it been a suggestion I agreed to? It absolutely hadn’t been a fireworks moment.

Sighing, I picked up my phone and smiled at the screen. Piper. Had I done the right thing by telling her about Ethan’s proposal for us to bond? I’d told her the truth but still…

“Hey, Piper, what’s new?”

Since I’d been suspended, she called me every single day to fill me in on what was happening at school. I didn’t care about it much. Not that someone had let all the mice out of their cages in the lab. Not that Tara Jones and Brad Puffet broke up. And definitely not that Jenny Crinkle found a hair in her lunch in the cafeteria. Yuck. But it was nice of her to keep me updated, so I wasn’t left out, and I enjoyed our chats, especially since I’d been avoiding Ethan as much as I could, which wasn’t enough. Yesterday I’d had to endure a whole hour shopping with him just to pick out an outfit to wear to the courthouse.

“Are you decent?” Piper asked, her voice so loud I had to turn down the volume of the phone.

“What do you mean?”

“What do you have on? Is it decent?”

I glanced down at my shorts and T-shirt, which were a bit snug around my tummy. “Why? What’s going on?”

“Because we’re about to kidnap you for your bachelor party.”

“What are you talking about?”

She laughed. “Been out of school for a few days, and you’re already getting slow? I said we’re kidnapping you for your bachelor party. Now get your pregnant butt into some decent clothes. We’re already here.”

“Here where?”

“At your future hubby’s house.”

“Wait, what?” I slid off the bed and hurried over to my bedroom window. Sure enough, Izzy’s car was parked in the driveway, and Piper, Izzy, and Rhett were walking to the front door.

“Piper, I’m going to kill you. What are you doing? You know this isn’t a real relationship.”

“Aren’t you going to the courthouse tomorrow?” she asked in a singsong voice. “Aren’t you going to participate in a bonding ritual before a judge? And aren’t you going to kiss the groom when you’re pronounced bondmates? Because that sounds pretty much like the beginning of a legal bonding ceremony to me.”

“You know what I mean!”

“You have fifteen minutes to get dressed, doll.”

She ended the call at the same time the doorbell rang. I groaned, torn between ignoring them and telling them they were being intrusive and making a big deal over something completely fake. The stuff she’d mentioned might be real, but this wasn’t going to be an ordinary relationship.

Yet the prospect of having a bachelor’s party filled me with excitement. Was it playing too much into my daydream of this relationship being real? Perhaps, but maybe I could have this one thing if I couldn’t have love, kisses, and sleeping in the same bed as Ethan.

I raided my closet and dressed as quickly as I could. Ethan must have answered the door as the bell stopped ringing. Please don’t say anything embarrassing to him. Between Piper’s blunt way with words and Rhett’s crush on my future bondmate, I couldn’t leave them alone with Ethan for long.

And seriously, Rhett needed to get over this stupid crush fast. My cheeks burned at the possessiveness in my chest, but I couldn’t help it. Ethan had been the one person who cared about me since I got pregnant. He took care of me and watched out for me. I had a perfect reason to feel the way I did about the man.

And the attraction? I couldn’t decide yet if that was a bonus or something that would frustrate me for the duration of our relationship.

When I was dressed, I pocketed my wallet and phone and headed down the stairs. I followed voices to the living room. Four heads turned my way, and whoa, having all that attention on me made me queasy. Especially from the man who I would be bonding with tomorrow.

Had he noticed I’d been avoiding him?

“Here he is.” Piper raised her arms.

“Here I am,” I said awkwardly. How much had my friends told him about why they were here? Worse still, was figuring out if I was supposed to ask his permission to go out or tell him that I was. Oh man, our relationship was so confusing.

“We’re going to wait in the car.” Izzy stood and pulled Piper up from the couch. “It was nice seeing you, Mr. Finch, and thanks for letting us take Cody out. We won’t stay out long.”

“Nice to see you again too, and this is a kind thing you do for Cody.”

“Rhett!” Piper snapped, and the young man reluctantly rose to his feet. “Cody, we’ll be waiting in the car.”

“Nice to meet you,” he said, then followed the two girls out.

Left alone with Ethan, I tried not to squirm. “I’m sorry, but they kind of sprang this on me. I had no idea at all that they wanted to throw me a bachelor party.”

“A bachelor party?” Ethan jerked his head up.

Oh boy. They hadn’t told him?

I scratched the back of my head, my face heating up. “Well, not a bachelor party per se, just hanging out a bit before the big day.”

Please don’t think I’m taking our bonding too seriously.

He chuckled. “They just told me they were having a party, but now it makes sense.”

“It’s a stupid idea.”

“It’s kind of cute they want to throw you a party.”

“But our bonding ceremony tomorrow is…” I shrugged. Fake didn’t sound quite right. As Piper had said, it was very much legally binding.

“Doesn’t matter. You’re already missing out on so much of a real bond. You can have some fun, and your friends seem to want to do this for you. Go and enjoy yourself.”

Not a real bond. Information processed and uploaded. If only my brain would store it.

“All right, then. I guess I should be going.”

“Have fun, and if you need anything, call me.”

My heart melted. He always said that. My brain was already discarding everything about us not having a real ceremony. Well, at least for one night, I could pretend.

“Dude, you get to bond with the man of my dreams,” Rhett complained as soon as I slid into the back seat with him.

“Wait your turn, Rhett. This is Cody’s special night. Our baby is about to turn into a man.”

Rhett rubbed a hand on my stomach. “Seems that the train has already left the station.”

I pushed his hand away. “Cut that out. Besides, you all know already that Ethan and I aren’t going to be bonded in the true sense.” The bonding ritual wouldn’t be complete until he and I had sex, which wasn’t going to happen anyway.

“That’s true. I can still snag him after your divorce.”

My stomach clenched. It was weird going into this with an expiration time already picked out.

“No talk of divorce. We’re celebrating our friend getting bonded, so one last night of debauchery.”

I was worried about the debauchery Piper mentioned. She was so unpredictable at times. Debauchery turned out to be a pretty fun and relaxed evening with my friends, though. Izzy’s omega dad had gone out of town on a business trip, and Piper was spending the weekend until he returned. The house was gorgeous, with a pool in a secluded backyard, fenced off from the neighbors’ property by neatly trimmed hedges. The cool water was exactly what I needed in the rising summer temperatures.

They ordered pizza, which I ate too quickly and ended up almost barfing into the pool. Wearing only my boxers, I lay on the cool tiles of the patio and stared up at the starry sky. Izzy and Piper were in the deeper side of the pool making out, but I was too content to yell at them that it was my night, and they were supposed to give me all their attention.

Rhett lowered himself onto a towel beside me. “So tomorrow, huh?”

“Yeah, tomorrow.” I would be tying the knot with a man who didn’t love me. But you don’t love him either.

“Are you nervous?”

“I should be, but I’m not. Is that weird?”

“Maybe a little.”

I laughed, giving his shoulder a push. “It’s just that Ethan has been great, you know. He treats me well, never complains about me ruining his life by getting knocked up, and he’s always asking me how I am and telling me that if I need anything to call him.”

“Yeah, he sounds great.”

“For instance, the day I got suspended, he brought me six different flavors of ice cream because he wasn’t sure which one to get me and didn’t want to disappoint me. That’s sweet, isn’t it?”

Rhett rolled over onto his side and eyed me. “Wow, Cody. Are you sure you don’t want this relationship to work?”

Giggles reached us, and I glanced over at the pool to check the girls weren’t too close. I hated keeping things from Piper, but how could I explain my conflicting emotions?

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I don’t think I’d be unhappy having a real relationship with him, you know?”

“With sex and everything?”

I covered my eyes with my hands. “Yes, everything, but you can’t tell Piper.”

“Deal. But do you mind if I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Do you love him?” I sucked in a deep breath. “Because just now when you talked about him, I’d say that you do.”

“I-I don’t know that either. I think I could be falling for him.”

“And you didn’t sock me in the mouth for drooling over your soon-to-be bondmate? I’m shocked.”

I snickered. “I know you didn’t mean anything by it.”

He groaned. “I did mean it. He’s really hot. Like super hot.”

“I get it. Shut up already!”

We laughed, and the girls swam over to the edge of the pool where we were.

“I can’t believe your parents agreed to have you both spend the weekend alone.”

Piper grinned at me. “Mom doesn’t know Izzy’s dad won’t be home.”

“At least Izzy can’t get you knocked up.”

“Exactly.” Izzy hauled herself out of the pool. “Aren’t you scared about giving birth?”

I shook my head. “I don’t even think about it. I figure when it’s time, I’ll do what the nurse and doctor say.”

“That’s one way of looking at it,” Piper said.

“The only way to look at it without panicking that I’ll be pushing a baby out of me.” I winced. I’d read the baby books but skipped that part for now. I would worry about it later.

“We got you something.” Piper swam to the steps and climbed out of the water.

“What?”

“Help me get the stuff, Rhett.”

Rhett got to his feet, and while they headed inside the house, I took my time sitting up. There was no hiding my bump now, even with the bigger clothes I owned.

“Are you going to find out what their sex is?”

I shook my head. “I decided I don’t want to know the sex nor the classification. I’ll be surprised at birth.”

“But do you have a preference?”

“Only to have a healthy baby. Sometimes I worry that the baby will take after me and be sickly like I was when I was born.”

“I’m sure it won’t. What do your screenings show?”

“That everything’s fine.”

“See? Perfectly fine.”

Rhett and Piper returned to the poolside, two huge gift bags in their hands.

“Oh my god! Is all this for me?”

“Unless you want to offer me one,” Rhett said.

“What’s inside?”

“Go ahead and look.”

I sat on the lounge to sit and unwrapped the first gift. A ladybug night light that ran on batteries.

“That one’s from Vanessa.”

“Vanessa?” I frowned at her.

“Yeah, from the debate club. A lot of the students were pissed at what the principal did, and they brought me stuff they wanted to give you for the baby.

Tears rushed to my eyes, and I sniffled. “That’s so sweet.”

“And check this out. Mrs. Baker sent this one.”

I opened all the gifts, and by the time I was done, I was sobbing at everyone’s generosity. I hadn’t started to buy anything for the baby yet, but now I had blankets, socks, washcloths, little booties, a pretty knit yellow shawl, and a baby reading book.

“I can’t believe you all organized this,” I murmured. “Thank you.”

“But there’s one more.” Rhett retrieved the gift from behind his back.

“Rhett, I thought we agreed not to give him this one.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. We bought it already anyway.”

I took the flat present and carefully peeled back the gorgeous wrapping paper of white lace pattern and double wedding bands amid gold flowers. When I removed the cover, I gasped.

“Whose idea was this?” Gingerly, I lifted the red silk shorts and camisole set. But that wasn’t all. Underneath was a silk jockstrap and…a medium-sized dildo.

“We all thought it was something you could use for the year you’ll be stuck in a sexless relationship,” Piper said. “What do you think? You like it?”

I fingered the silk. It wasn’t something I would ever have bought for myself, but it was so sexy.

“My butt won’t be able to fit in this for long, so I better wear it soon.”

What did it matter if I would be the only one to see it? Piper was right. I might not get to share Ethan’s bed, but I didn’t have to remain miserable and unfulfilled. I could take care of my needs myself.

“I love it.” I smiled at my friends. “I’ll never forget this. My first dildo. My parents would be scandalized.”