Not His Omega To Love by GS Holmes

19Cody

“By the powersthat are invested in me by the state, you may now seal your bond with a kiss.”

Throughout the entire ceremony, I’d hardly been able to focus. It hadn’t taken more than twenty minutes. I’d thought we would have more time before we got to this part, but here I was, bonded to my new alpha, in a way that would never be fully sealed. And a kiss everyone was waiting for.

My heart thudded hard in my chest as I raised my eyes and met Ethan’s gaze. I’d avoided looking directly at him for most of the ceremony. Hopefully, no one had thought it odd I couldn’t look my alpha in the face. Now, as our gaze collided, he smiled at me, and my mouth went dry.

Oh man, we should’ve talked about this kiss.

Was a peck good enough? Was he expecting some tongue action like Reggie? Everyone in attendance already knew the relationship was atypical, so we didn’t even have to kiss, right? But it was customary, so…

Ethan cupped my cheek, and my skin grew warm. Oh gosh, his hand felt so nice. My stomach fluttered. He shook up my entire insides with just that single touch, but that kiss… I hated kissing.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Don’t gag. Don’t flinch. It’s just a couple of seconds.

Ethan’s lips settled over mine, a gentle whisper, so soft my eyes fluttered open. His lashes were lowered, but his eyes weren’t fully closed, and the look of raw hunger in them stunned me. Ethan… wanted me? He pulled back, but I wasn’t ready for the connection to end yet. I tilted my head forward and captured his lips with mine. So good. Oh my god, kissing him was even better than sex. How in the world is this happening right now?

I placed a hand on his shoulder and stepped closer to him, wanting more. His tongue tentatively entered my mouth, and my nipples ached, tightening up. My nostrils flared, my arousal taking me by surprise.

Clapping pulled me back to the present, where it wasn’t just Ethan and me in the room. As if he realized only then too, he dropped his hand from my face, but I couldn’t stop staring at him.

I loved kissing Ethan.

“Alpha and Omega Finch,” the judge declared, and I turned to my friends. Ethan had agreed that they could be present, and now they’d witnessed me… doing what? Enjoying kissing my husband?

“And just like that, it’s over,” Ethan said and with a hand at my waist, helped me to step down from the platform where we’d stood for our vows. “You were great through the entire ceremony.”

I smiled weakly at him. All I wanted to do was find a corner and make out with my alpha—eek, my alpha— some more. How strange. I never liked the idea of sucking face before, but I needed more of Ethan’s kisses.

“Yay!” Piper rushed up to me and hugged me. Her excitement was so contagious, I laughed. Did no one remember this ceremony was only to help me find a better place in a world where a single pregnant omega was bound to get into trouble?

“Does it feel any different?” Rhett asked.

“Why would it?” Reggie came up to us. “It’s not a real ceremony anyway.”

“Come on, guys.” I pleaded with my eyes not to make this weird. Ethan was talking to his friend and assistant, who had been our witnesses. “Don’t make this weird.”

“Fine. But what now?” Piper asked. “Are you going on a honeymoon?”

“Of course not. I have school on Monday.”

“Thank fuck. I was getting bored without you.”

“Hey.” Ethan joined us, and my stomach somersaulted. Oh god, why did everything about this man have to be such a turn-on? Not only was he devastatingly good-looking, but he was also a protective and kind alpha. “Sal’s wife prepared a surprise meal for us at their place. You’re all invited.”

“Sorry, I’m going to pass,” Reggie said. “I’m going back to the house to change, then meet up with a couple of guys from the school.”

Ethan nodded. “All right. Be safe.” When Reggie walked away, Ethan turned his attention back to us. “Well, let’s go. They have other ceremonies to perform.”

My friends drove together, and I longed to go with them to avoid having to make conversation with Ethan. Would he want to talk about the kiss? To tell me not to expect any more?

“You’re not tired, are you?” Ethan asked in the car.

“No, I’m fine. It didn’t take long.”

“We don’t have to stay long at Sal’s. We’ll have an hour’s drive ahead of us.”

“An hour? Where?”

“Our hotel.”

I gaped at him. “Hotel?”

“Yes, I booked us a hotel for the weekend. I hope that’s okay.”

A hotel? As in a real honeymoon? But bonded couples went on honeymoon for sex. Did Ethan truly want the same things I did?

“It’s fine,” I croaked. So fine. Maybe this marriage would become something more after all. The future looked a whole lot better. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized how much I’d dreaded being in a platonic relationship with a man I wanted but who didn’t want me back.

The surprise meal at Sal’s house turned out to be a small reception. They even decorated with a congratulations banner, balloons, and everything. I was glad. I’d been worried about how his friends, who knew the circumstances under which we were legally bonded, would react to the idea of us. Of me.

Sal’s alpha mate, Jill, was charming as she congratulated both Ethan and me, then directed us to the head of the table to sit.

“Jill, you shouldn’t have gone to all this trouble,” Ethan told her.

She brushed him off and chucked my chin in a way that had affection pooling into my stomach. She was such a nice alpha. Just like Sal was an amazing omega, a true friend. Where had they been all my life?

“It was absolutely no trouble.” She smiled at me. “And this isn’t for you, Ethan. It’s for your omega because every omega deserves a little fun on their bonding day, regardless of the circumstances.”

“This is way more extravagant than I’d thought.” Ethan squeezed my thigh under the table. “I hope it’s not too much?”

“It’s perfect. I think it’s great you have friends who want to do this for you.”

“For me? Didn’t you hear her? This is for you.”

“But they don’t know me.”

“It doesn’t matter. They’re good people who will always be kind to you. I hope you know now that they’re no longer just my friends but yours as well. You can trust them. If you need anything and for some reason, you don’t feel that you can ask me, you can reach out to them.”

Warmth spread through me, and I had to glance away so I didn’t tear up. He’d brought so much to my life. A new home. The possibility to keep my baby. The chance to still pursue my career goals. Now new friends. Love…

I loved him. I loved him so much, and it was nothing at all like I’d felt toward Reggie. Piper had been right that I never loved Reggie. I’d been with him just because. Because he was the popular guy who showed an interest in me. I was a nobody, and it had felt good to be noticed. And the sex had been good too. It had. How much better would it be with Ethan, considering I loved him?

Dinner was a wonderful fare that I could fully enjoy now that my morning sickness had disappeared. Still, I picked at a few things only, not wanting to overeat. There was so much deliciousness. And cake, an actual cake that was brought over on a small, wheeled table. Somehow, everything sank in at the sight of the cake. I was bonded. I was no longer a single omega.

“They’ve completely gone overboard,” Ethan groaned.

I grinned at him, caught up in the mood now. “Come on. It’ll be fun.”

He helped me to my feet, and the others watched and cheered as we cut our cake.

“Might as well go all the way.” Ethan smiled at me as he held a small piece up to my lips.

I opened my mouth and chewed but didn’t register anything about the taste or texture. I had only eyes for Ethan. I returned the favor, apologizing profusely when I got cake on his shirt, then had to grab a napkin to wipe it away. His chest felt so solid under my hand.

What would it be like to touch his naked body? To kiss him all over?

“Cake for everyone,” Sal boomed, and I jerked my hand away, avoiding Ethan’s eyes. “While our newlybonds entertain us with their first dance.”

“What? No,” Ethan protested.

“All right, I’ll have the first dance with your omega, then.” Sal stretched a hand out to me.

“Like hell, you will,” Ethan growled at his friend.

I gasped when he took my hand and tugged me toward the center of the room. Sal beamed, too satisfied with himself. Music had been playing in the background throughout dinner, but now someone turned up the volume. A gentle rhythm filled the room.

“May I have this dance?” Ethan asked.

I nodded, my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. He took one of my hands and placed it on his shoulder, claiming the other in a clasp, then moved. I swayed along with him.

None of this was supposed to have happened. The plan had been to have a clinical ceremony that would depict the clinical nature of our relationship: a bonding of convenience. But then the kiss happened…and this celebration, the cake, the dance. It was not what I’d ever dreamed of for a bonding ceremony. But the most important part was having a groom who looked at me the way Ethan did.

Little by little, everything around us fell away until all that was left was me dancing with Ethan. We must have moved closer at some point because my head was practically resting on his chest, and he held me close to him, the heavy thudding of his heartbeat matching mine. He had to feel it too. It couldn’t be my imagination that he also felt attracted to me.

His lips touched my temple, and I shuddered. It was as soft as a feather, and no one else had probably noticed, but it rocked my very core.

“All right, that’s enough hogging the newlywed omega.” Sal clapped Ethan on the shoulder. Ethan growled, and I wanted to throttle the other man for interrupting. Didn’t he see we were having a moment? “But we need turns dancing with your lovely mate, Ethan. Go dance with Jill. She’s been waiting to get her hands on you.”

Ethan held on tightly. Then his grip eased, and he let me go. “Just for a bit.” He glanced at his watch. “We really should get going so the drive isn’t too tiring for Cody.”

“Just one dance.”

And that was how I ended up dancing awkwardly with Sal, who I didn’t know anything about, except that he was good friends with Ethan. I so wanted to make a good impression. Friends talked to each other. Mine gave me unsolicited advice all the time. What if Sal didn’t like me? He might warn Ethan about me, tell him it would be a bad idea to fall in love with me or something.

“Relax. I’m not going to bite,” Sal said. “I can feel all the tension in you.”

“I’m sorry. I’ve never been much of a dancer.”

“But you do it so effortlessly with Ethan.”

I fell silent. What did he want me to say? That I’d grown so comfortable with Ethan over the past weeks that being with him was easy?

“I wanted you to know that I support this relationship,” he said. “And if you ever want to talk, I’m here.”

“Oh, thank you.”

His smile was kind, and his eyes were soft. “I’m serious. When and if you want to talk about how you truly feel about Ethan, I’m here.” He prodded me. “Keep dancing. Ethan’s frowning, and I wouldn’t want him to think I’m hurting his delicate little omega.”

“I’m not delicate.” But I shuffled my feet. Ethan was shooting us furtive glances as he talked to Sal’s wife. Piper and Izzy were dancing with Rhett, which was good. He wouldn’t feel left out.

“Your alpha sure seems to think so.” He chuckled softly. “I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. In reality, it’s the opposite. I haven’t seen Ethan look at anyone like that. Ever.”

“But he was bonded before.”

“I stand by what I said.”

His words sank in, and I sucked in a deep breath. “Oh.”

“He watches you, his instinct to first ensure that you’re fine.”

“He’s a good man.”

Sal laughed, throwing his head back. “I’m pretty sure this has nothing to do with his goodness, though he has that in spades. You’ll figure it out in time, but just so you know, if you want more out of this relationship, I believe you can have it all. You don’t have to hold back because it started as a way to protect you and your baby. Things can change.”

My breath came out in a shudder. “He won’t go for someone like me.”

“I think you already have him in the palms of your tiny hands. But, Cody, it’s good to know that Ethan will never make the first move. As you said, he’s a good man, and he won’t want to take advantage.”

I glanced over to Ethan, who was watching me. “What do you mean?” I asked Sal.

“The ball is in your court. If you feel what I think you’re feeling for Ethan, you should make the next move.”

But how could I? I was an omega and a young one at that. Ethan had so much more experience than me. I’d never gone after anything like this before in my life. How was I supposed to tell this man how I felt about him and that I wanted to be fully bonded to him?