Where We Found Our Home by Natasha Bishop

 

Ciara

I’ve been packing for the last hour, but it’s taking longer than it should because I can’t see past my stupid tears.

I can’t believe I allowed this to happen. I knew it wasn’t smart. I knew I should’ve kept my distance from these people, but I let them capture my heart anyway, and now I’m even more lost than I was when I first got here. When Sasha called me frantic that Nevaeh was missing, my heart sank imagining her trapped in a trunk or worse just because Eddie wanted to fuck with me. Every tear that fell down Sasha’s face cut me deeply until I emotionally bled out. He’s escalating because I had the audacity to live my life. He wants my attention. He’s got it. I can’t let this go any further.

I don’t even know how he found me, but it doesn’t matter. He’ll find me again, and this time I want him to. I want him to find me as far away as possible from Lincoln and everyone else I love.

I promised Simone that I wouldn’t keep her and the girls out of the loop anymore, so I pick up my phone and start a video chat.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Have you been crying?” Brittany immediately asks.

“He found me.”

“What?” Sarah shrieks.

“Tell us what happened,” Simone demands.

I fill them in on the situation with Nevaeh yesterday and how I’ve decided to move again.

“Wait. Why would you leave? You’re safest there with them.” All of their eyes are wide with a mix of concern and anger, but I didn’t call to get their opinion. I called to say goodbye.

“Yeah, and they’re safest without me.”

“We’re back to this shit? Fine, then come home.” I don’t have the heart to tell her that Baltimore hasn’t been my home since this shit began.

“I’m not coming back, Simone. I’m sorry.”

“Ciara! You can’t go off on your own. He’ll find you again and he’ll…” Brittany can’t even bring herself to finish that sentence.

“Where are you going to go?” Sarah cries.

“I don’t know yet. I’ll figure it out on the way. I love you guys.”

“Don’t you dare hang up!” I hang up and block their numbers. I hate myself for it. But by the time they hop on a plane and come here, I’ll be long gone. I want to say goodbye to Nina and Sasha, but I’m too much of a coward to call them because they could actually get to me before I take off, so I settle for a text.

Me: I love you guys. Just wanted to say that

Sasha doesn’t respond, but Nina responds right away.

Nina: I knew it!

Nina: Lol love you too girl. You okay?

No.

Me: I will be

I see Nina is typing another message, but I exit out of the conversation and call my mom.

“Hi, sweetie.”

“Hi, Mom.” I choke on the last word but I hope she doesn’t notice.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing, Mom, I just wanted to call and say hi and I love you.”

“I love you more. How’s everything? How’s Lincoln?”

I clear my throat, but my mouth is dry and I feel like I’m swallowing rocks.

“He’s fine.”

She’s quiet for a moment. “That sounds like bullshit.” I let out what I hope is a convincing laugh.

“Really, he’s fine. We’re fine. Everyone’s fine. I’m just really tired and needed to hear your voice.”

“You know, I really am so proud of you. I don’t know if I tell you that enough.”

I am hanging on by a fucking thread. I can’t get into this with her right now. “You tell me all the time, Mom.”

“But do you hear me and receive what I’m saying?”

Fuck. Me. “I hear you.”

“You are so strong, baby. Oh hey, Brittany is calling me.”

Fuck. She’s calling to tell her what I said.

“Okay, well, I have to go anyway. Tell her I said hi. I love you, Mom. Thank you for all you’ve done for me.”

“Umm, okay, baby. I love you more. I’ll call you back soon?”

“Sure.” I hang up and block her number too. Fuck, I’m now on the run from my mom too, because when she realizes I didn’t tell her what was going on AND that I blocked her number, there will be hell to pay. Look at me finding the bright side to running. I can almost smile about it. I roll my eyes at my own blatant lie and go back to packing.

My phone rings, and it’s Lincoln. I almost don’t answer, but I owe him this.

“Hi.”

“Hi, Angel. I gave us the night to feel all of our emotions, but we need to really talk about this now.” I love this man more than I ever thought possible. He listens to me. He doesn’t dismiss how I’m feeling. I know he would do anything for me. This is just not something I’m comfortable asking him to do.

“Yeah. Listen, Linc. You of all people should understand my need to make sacrifices for the greater good.”

“Ciara,” he says on a sigh. “I do understand that. But do you honestly think this is for the greater good? Do you think the world would be better off without you in it? Because I’ll tell you it won’t. Your light shines brighter than all the stars in the sky. I can guarantee that my life, my family’s lives, are infinitely better because you’re in it. Do you know why I call you Angel?”

No, and I have a feeling I don’t want to hear it because it may break me.

“No,” I croak.

“Because your very existence is proof that angels exist. I knew the moment I laid eyes on you that my life had forever changed. For the better. I didn’t recognize it at first. I tried to fight it. I tried to keep my heart locked up, but your beauty, your compassion, your strength, your smart-ass mouth, and your love were stronger than any chain I could wrap around it. This guy, whose name I won’t even say because he’s not worth the time, wants to snuff that out. He wants to take all the magic that is you and deprive the world of it. Don’t let him.” So as I said, I didn’t want to hear this. I try to stop the sob from escaping my lips, but it’s too late. “Angel.”

I cut him off. I really can’t handle this. I can’t. I can’t even hear that nickname right now after what he just told me. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“I will call out.”

“No, please don’t. I can’t have anything else on my conscience right now.”

“I can’t just leave this like this.”

“Just please go to work. Call me tomorrow and we can talk about it face-to-face. I can’t promise I’ll change my mind, but we can talk.”

“You promise?”

Shit. “Yes.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“I love you too, Lincoln.” We hang up and I hate myself even more. I hope he can forgive me for lying to him. I hope he can forget me eventually. I’ll never forget him for as long as I live, but that’s my penance to pay. He deserves better than that.

My phone rings again but I don’t have the emotional capacity to handle another fucking phone call. It’s Sasha. Shit. I can’t ignore Sasha’s call. After everything that happened with Nevaeh, I owe her one last call. I steel my voice because I can’t risk her seeing right through me.

“Sasha, hey.”

“Hello there, old friend.” My blood runs cold at the sound of that voice.

“What the fuck do you want? Why do you have her phone?”

“Oh, I’m just making friends. You seem to be so good at it. I thought I’d give it a try.”

I hate him. I hate him with every fiber of my being. “What do you want me to do, Eddie? Whatever you want, I’ll do it. Just don’t hurt her.”

“How amenable of you. I think it’s time we have a talk face-to-face. What do you think? Why don’t you come join your friend and me at this coffee shop of hers, and I’ll consider letting her live.”

There’s a beast inside me, begging to come out. I’m ready for whatever comes next. “I’m on my way.”

“Good. And Ciara?”

“Yes?”

“I would advise you to come alone. Don’t call the police or anyone else. If you want her to survive, that is.”

He hangs up on me. Hang on, Sasha. I’m coming. It’s time to end this once and for all.

I run out my door, but at the last moment I leave it slightly cracked. Even though Lincoln is at work, I’m ninety-nine percent sure he’s going to send one of the guys to check on me. I’m hoping my door being open will let them know something is wrong, and they’ll get in touch with him.

Please catch my meaning, Linc. Your sister needs you.