Fractured Trust by L. M. Dalgleish
Chapter 26
There was only a week left before Noah had to leave for the Fractured tour and Summer was unbearably twitchy. Had she really thought she’d get to this point and just be able to calmly decide whether or not she should let go of Noah? Had she honestly thought that would happen? No, she wasn’t that stupid. She’d just been desperate. Desperate to have him again, even if it wasn’t going to be forever. Her worry was increasing every day, and she was having trouble sleeping as her mind went over and over what she should do.
Was she going to turn up and watch him climb on that tour bus, then just wave goodbye and go back to the way things had been before? Could she consider asking for more? Could she handle it? Was there any way she could ask him to take that risk with her?
It seemed impossible, that she could hold on to this happiness while he was away for two months. She knew how her mind worked; she’d gone through this once already, the constant stress, the worrying. Could she put herself through that again? Could she put him through that?
Summer groaned and rubbed her tired, gritty eyes, realizing she’d been staring unblinkingly at her computer screen for who knows how long as her mind churned over the situation.
“You okay over there?”
Summer looked over at Eden’s desk, meeting her friend’s concerned blue eyes. She really needed to talk to someone, but talking to Noah’s sister about whether she thought it would be better to break it off with him now, or potentially break it off halfway through his tour if it turned out she couldn’t handle it, didn’t seem like the best idea.
“I’m assuming it’s this thing between you and Noah,” Eden said before Summer could think of something else to tell her.
She gave a mirthless laugh. “How did you guess?”
“Before you and Noah got back together, that frown would show up on your face every time I mentioned his name.”
Since Eden pretty much already knew what was going on in her head, Summer decided to take the risk of confiding in her. She turned fully to face Eden. “I’m not sure what to do. We agreed that we’d just keep it casual, and then play it by ear when the tour gets here, but I’ve got so many conflicting feelings right now, I can’t figure out what I should do.”
Eden studied her appraisingly. “Do you want to grab a coffee and talk about it?”
Summer blew out a breath. “Yes, thank you. I’d like that.”
They gathered their purses, and Eden locked the office door behind them. There was a lovely little café two blocks away, so they made their way there. Luckily at that time of day, it was mostly empty. They ordered their coffees and sat down at a corner table, away from the only other customer.
Eden took a sip of her coffee and Summer followed suit. Then, when they’d both put their cups down Eden looked at her. “So, I can’t promise to be completely unbiased, but I’ll do my best, okay?”
That was all Summer could ask for. She exhaled. “Being with Noah over these last few weeks has been… amazing. I thought it would be obvious what I should do by the time it came for him to leave, but… it’s not.”
“Did you ever actually believe it would be that easy?” Eden asked.
Summer rubbed her temples. “I guess I was hopeful. Or maybe I just deluded myself into thinking it would be, so I’d have an excuse to let myself be with him. But Noah, he’s been…” She shook her head, throat tightening. “God, I have so many feelings that I thought had died years ago. But I honestly don’t know if I can do it all again. And I don’t want to hurt Noah either.” She stopped and rasped out a laugh. “And of course, all of this is entirely dependent on whether he even wants anything more than this.”
A smile tugged at Eden’s lips. “I would bet on a lot of very precious things that Noah wants more. I don’t even have to ask him, I’ve seen the look on his face when he’s with you. The last time I saw that look was about eleven years ago when he held you in his arms before climbing on that tour bus for the first time. Like all his dreams had come true. Like there was no luckier man in the world than him right at that moment.”
“He was on his way to fulfilling his dream of being a rock star. He pretty much was one of the luckiest men in the world.”
Eden’s smile faded. “You shouldn’t be willfully ignorant, Summer, not when it comes to my brother. You know that’s not what I’m talking about. Or not just what I’m talking about. Yes, drumming was always part of his dream, but you were the other part. And then you were gone, and drumming was all he had left.” She reached out and grabbed Summer’s hand, her expression pleading. “Don’t do that to him again. Please? You must know him well enough to know he’d never do anything to hurt you.”
Summer’s chest pulled tight. “I know he wouldn’t do anything deliberately. But things happen. When there’s so much temptation, people make mistakes…” She shook her head in frustration that Eden didn’t understand where she was coming from. “Haven’t you ever worried? I mean, women go crazy over Tex just like they do over Noah.” She bit her lip, wondering how to phrase it. “Don’t you ever get frightened that he’ll… I don’t know, slip up?” God, that was a loaded question. She was basically asking Eden if she’d ever considered whether Tex would cheat on her.
To her credit, Eden didn’t look annoyed. She considered Summer’s question carefully before answering. “I know I don’t have the same background as you, Summer. My parents are still together, and still crazy about each other. Neither of them would ever be unfaithful. They were our role models for a healthy relationship growing up, so, I’m not prone to expecting the worst. But I’ve also had someone cheat on me before, so I can’t say I wasn’t nervous about it at the start. I’ve seen what it can be like. I know there are some women who would do almost anything just to have one night in his bed. But I also know Tex. I know his heart. I know his soul. Maybe with someone else I’d worry more, but with Tex, I honestly believe it would be unbearable to him to do something like that—something he knew would break me.”
Summer smiled at Eden, her heart aching. God, she wondered what it would be like to have that depth of faith in someone. Her smile faltered. If anyone deserved that it was Noah.
Eden reached out and squeezed Summer’s hand. “But Summer, I truly believe Noah feels the same way about you.”
“I don’t know how he feels about me, to be honest.”
“Don’t you? It’s obvious to me. To everyone. I wish you could just open your eyes and see what’s in front of you.”
Eden made it sound so simple. She knew Noah cared for her. She knew he was a good man. So why did that final step in trusting him seem to elude her?
Eden sighed. “Look, I’m going to say one last thing and then I’m going to drop it. And this might sound bitchy, but I really don’t mean it that way, okay?”
Summer eyed her warily. “Okay.”
Eden looked her straight in the eye. “Between the two of you, only one has broken the other’s heart. And it wasn’t Noah.”
Summer opened her mouth to protest, then shut it again. Because she couldn’t argue with that. Noah had never done anything to hurt her, she’d done it all herself, and broken his heart in the process. If there was anyone untrustworthy in this relationship, all signs pointed to it being her.
She looked at Eden, at the sympathy clouding her eyes, and mustered a watery smile. “You’re right. I guess I’m the villain in this story.”
“No, that’s not what I meant. No one’s the villain here.” Her lips tilted up slightly. “But maybe the anti-hero?” Summer laughed, then Eden continued. “Just think about what you’ll miss out on if you give him up. All the love, all the fun, maybe one day having me as a sister-in-law.” She gave Summer a cheeky grin. Then her voice softened. “Noah as a father…”
Summer’s breath caught in her throat, a vision of Noah with a little blonde boy or girl riding on his shoulders or sitting on his lap while he showed them how to hit a drum. Tears pricked the backs of her eyes. God, she wanted that.
And maybe, maybe if she could be brave enough, there was a chance she could have it.