Fractured Trust by L. M. Dalgleish
Chapter 27
“So, Noah, you’re preparing to head out on tour with Fractured for the first time in two years; how are you feeling about getting back on the road with those guys?” The male radio announcer eyed him over the top of the audio panel, while his female counterpart made no effort to hide her flirtatious smile and the way her eyes roamed over Noah’s chest.
“I’m feeling good. It’s been a long time coming, and there’s nothing like stepping out onto that stage with your friends and hearing the roar of the crowd.” Noah’s knee was jiggling and his right hand, hidden from view by the panel between him and the announcers, tapped restlessly on his thigh. He was here alone today. Usually, he and the other guys did interviews together. But occasionally scheduling conflicts happened and rather than canceling, one of them would make the effort to turn up.
Today it was his turn, and he was trying to be engaged and enthusiastic, but it was proving difficult. For the first time in his life, he wasn’t excited about going on tour. Talking about it just hammered home the fact that in a week’s time, he’d be getting on a tour bus and driving away from the only woman he’d ever loved. And there was a good chance she wouldn’t be waiting for him when he got back.
Time was running out, and he should be spending these last few days convincing Summer beyond a shadow of a doubt that she belonged with him, not stuck in this radio studio answering the same questions he’d answered a hundred times before.
“You’ve recently finished a tour with Crossfire. How do you think this tour is going to compare?” The female announcer leaned forward as she spoke, staring intently into his eyes and playing with her hair.
“Well, they’re two different beasts. Crossfire is still getting established, there’s that energy you get from a crowd when they don’t really know what they’re going to get. It’s kind of an adrenaline rush when you have to prove yourself to new fans. With Fractured, our fans know us, they know what to expect from us on stage, the energy and love directed at us from the crowd is phenomenal. It’s a high like no other. This tour is going to be slightly different though, smaller venues, more intimate crowds. If you can call ten thousand people intimate.” Both announcers laughed. “Going back on the road with the guys, reconnecting with our fans, will be like going home.”
“You’re not performing any stadium concerts this tour. Why is that?”
“Stadium concerts are amazing; looking out at a sea of fifty thousand plus fans will blow your mind, every time. But there’s a downside. There’s less of a connection, and we wanted this tour to have more intimacy. Hurt to Love is a very emotional album, probably the most emotional album we’ve ever produced, and we wanted to share that emotion with our fans. It’s far harder to project that kind of intensely intimate feeling to people sitting all the way at the back of a stadium. We want to connect with every person who comes along to one of our shows, not just those closest to the front.”
“I’m sure there’ll be more than a few fans who’d be happy to connect intimately with you.” The female announcer’s lips curled up flirtatiously and Noah tensed, not only at the innuendo, but at the fact she hadn’t even bothered to comment on what he’d just said about the album and tour.
The male announcer jumped in then. “No denying you’re very popular with the ladies, Noah. Although there are rumors you’ve been seen out and about with the same woman a few times recently. What do you say you give us the scoop and confirm right here and now whether you’re finally off the market?”
“And if that means you’re going to be leaving your many female fans disappointed this tour?” The female host pouted at him, leaving him in no doubt she considered herself one of those who’d be disappointed if he said he was in a relationship.
Noah ground his teeth together. Where the fuck did these people get off, talking about this shit? It wasn’t like he had a harem of women spread out over the country. Yes, he’d indulged over the years, as they all had—as did almost all single rock stars, and unfortunately, some not-so single. But fuck, he didn’t want to talk about that part of his life. It was over. Now there was Summer, and she was the only woman he needed. The only woman he’d ever need.
He hoped she wasn’t listening in right now; he didn’t want her getting scared and running. He still hadn’t broached the topic of making this thing between them permanent. It was going to be a tough conversation, and he didn’t want her thrown before he’d even had the chance to tell her how he felt about her. He could just announce right now on public radio that he had a girlfriend, but he didn’t know how Summer would feel about him saying that.
“When it comes to our concerts, we’ve never left any of our fans disappointed. We don’t plan on doing it this time.”
The female announcer looked put out that he’d brushed off the question, while the male announcer laughed. “Well, not quite what we meant; but that’s fine, we get the hint. Let’s move on then.”
Noah gave them a curt nod and a tight smile. Damn fucking right they could move on.
A few minutes later he was out of there, and after stopping to sign autographs for a few of the station crew, he was in his car and heading home. As he drove, his fingers tap-tap-tapped on the steering wheel, his mind going back over the interview. He thought he’d handled the question well enough; he wasn’t sure what else he could have said without risking upsetting Summer. But it reinforced his need to lock her down. She was still a flight risk at the moment, and he didn’t want her to freak out because interviewers were asking him stupid questions like that.
Urgency thrummed in his veins. He really didn’t want to wait any longer. The uncertainty was killing him. But she was coming over to his place tonight, and he was just going to sit her down, lay his heart and all his hopes and dreams out on the table, and pray to God he’d done enough to convince her she’d always be safe with him.
* * *When Noah’s doorbell rang that evening, his pulse rate skyrocketed. He took a deep, steadying breath before opening the door, his eyes raking her up and down, as always, sucker-punched by the knowledge she was part of his life again.
But the sober expression on her face wasn’t what he was hoping to see. His heart sank. Had she heard his interview today, or was there some other reason for the shadow in her eyes?
He reached for her hand and tugged her toward him. Before he’d even had a chance to push the door shut behind her, she was weaving her arms around his neck and tipping her head back for a kiss. The tightness in his chest eased a little. Whatever had caused that expression, at least she didn’t seem to be upset with him. He brushed his lips against hers teasingly, before deepening the kiss, his tongue slipping into her mouth and twining with hers.
When they finally broke apart, he smiled down at her as he tucked a tendril of rose gold hair behind her ear. But that shadow was still in her eyes, and tension filled him again.
“Is everything okay?” he asked, gaze searching hers.
Summer licked her lips. “I think we need to talk.”
Noah’s gut clenched, and he swallowed. Hard. Fuck, did anything good ever come from a conversation that started with ‘we need to talk’? He did his best not to let his concern show, though. “Okay, let’s go sit down. Do you want something to drink?”
Summer shook her head, then turned and led the way to the living room that was located just off the entrance foyer. She sat on the couch, angling herself toward him when he sat down next to her.
Still trying to keep his tone light, he asked, “What do you want to talk about, Sunshine?”
Summer caught her lower lip between her teeth for a second, then released it. “So, it’s only a week before your tour and I think we need to discuss what comes next.” The tremble in her voice belied the calmness of her words.
“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that too.”
Her gaze jumped between his eyes. “Oh, well, do you want to go first?”
He nodded. He sure as fuck wanted to go first. She was either going to tell him she wanted to take a chance on them, in which case she’d be more than happy to hear what he had to say. Or she was going to tell him she thought they needed to end it, in which case he was going to convince her she was wrong before she had a chance to say it.
“Summer, I’ve loved every second of being with you these last weeks. It feels like a part of my life—a part of my heart—that’s been missing for the last decade is back. I know you weren’t sure where you wanted this to go, but you need to know, I want you in my life. Now. While I’m on tour. And for however long you’ll let me keep you.”
Summer’s eyes had widened, her lips parting slightly. She looked stunned. “Noah,” she breathed.
He gripped the back of his neck. “Fuck, Summer. Please tell me you were going to say the same thing.”
She blinked at him, a smile blossoming across her face. “Well, kind of. I was just going to say that I haven’t been this happy in a long time, and I don’t know exactly what we should do next. I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about not… not going our separate ways when you go on tour. But Noah, I don’t know how I’m going to do with it. I heard your interview today.”
Noah winced. “It was a stupid question, Summer. Stupid comments. That’s not how it’s going to be, okay.”
She shook her head. “I know it was stupid. But I still panicked when she said it. And I’m worried, I’m so worried I’m going to screw this up. For both of us. Because the way I react to these things is screwed up.”
Noah pulled her into his arms, but that still wasn’t close enough. He dragged her over him until she was straddling his thighs. He stared into her beautiful eyes. “We can just take it one day at a time, Sunshine, okay? I know it’s not going to be easy, but we can work on it. You and me together. I need you, Summer. I don’t feel whole when you’re not with me.” He brushed his lips against hers, pressed harder, deepening the kiss, licking into her mouth, and groaning when she responded. When he finally pulled back, he rested his forehead against hers, his eyes closed. “And fuck it, I’ve had a good run with drumming. If it gets too hard for you, then I can always retire.” He smiled as he said it, but even as the words were coming out of his mouth, he knew the truth of them. He had more money than he needed, an incredible career to look back on. The one thing he didn’t have was Summer, and she belonged with him. They belonged together.
But Summer stiffened in his arms and pulled away. Confused, he looked down at her stunned expression, her eyes wide and face pale.
“What?” he asked, his brows drawing together at the fear in her eyes. “Summer, what is it?”
“Noah… Please tell me that was a joke.”
Quitting drumming? He rubbed the back of his neck. “No, I’m serious. I don’t want to do this without you anymore. But that’s a good thing, right? You’re more important to me than drumming.”
Summer shook her head wildly. “No, Noah, that’s not good. That’s not good at all. I— I don’t want that. You love playing the drums. It’s your life. It’s who you are. I don’t want to be responsible for taking that away from you.”
She pushed herself off him and stood in a rush, waves of anxiety rolling off her. Noah jolted up off the couch and reached for her arm. An answering tension gripped his spine, sending a dull ache through his skull. He’d screwed this up somehow, and he had to make it right. “Summer, don’t worry about that. We just need to concentrate on making this work.”
But she shook her head again, her hands fisted at the hem of her shirt. “No Noah, this is a bad idea. I don’t want to risk your career; I couldn’t bear it. I think… I think maybe we should just stop this. Now. Before we get in any deeper.”
Ice flooded his veins. “Fuck no. We both want this, Summer. You’re being irrational right now.”
Her eyes flashed back up to meet his, wide and anguished. He realized that he’d said the wrong thing. Again. “I’m sure I probably am. But that’s the problem, Noah. I am irrational about this. I don’t trust myself to make the right decisions when it comes to you. Not after what happened last time. And I can’t handle the pressure of your career riding on my ability to deal with something I’ve already proven that I can’t.”
“You had Deacon fucking whispering in your ear the whole time. This time, you’ll have Eden and Lexie to help. And you’ll have me. I won’t drop the ball like I did last time. I’ll be there for you every day while I’m away.”
But she just kept shaking her head again, mouth trembling, eyes shuttering. He knew he was losing her. Adrenaline pumped through him, and he thought he might fucking scream at how this had somehow gotten away from him. “Summer, for fuck’s sake. You came here to tell me you wanted to try to make this work. Forget what I said. I take it back, okay?”
Her wide, green eyes met his, and the resolution in them sent ice skating down his spine. She tugged herself out of his grip.
“I’m sorry, Noah. I need to go.”