Fractured Trust by L. M. Dalgleish

Chapter 34

“I can’t bear it Eden, how are you so calm?” Summer asked, her eyes on the clock hanging on the wall between their desks.

“What you’re mistaking for calmness is actually my ‘I can’t let even a little bit of how excited I am that Tex is back tonight show, because I’ll be bouncing off the walls and completely useless for the next three hours’ expression.”

Summer laughed, her eyes darting back to the clock again. She and Noah had spoken every night since she’d gone to see him, but even hearing his voice every day wasn’t enough. She was desperate to see him, to wrap her arms around him, to press her lips to his and feel his scruff against her cheeks. To feel it everywhere… She shivered. She’d have to give the poor guy a few hours after he got back to decompress before she jumped him.

Her smile faded. It had been hard, these two weeks; hard putting her heart back on the line. Knowing this time, she was risking Noah’s heart too. She’d scheduled an extra session with Dr. Jameson each week just to talk through everything. But as difficult as it had been, it wasn’t as bad as she remembered from when she was younger. She didn’t know if it was the therapy, the fact she was more mature, or that maybe time had worked its magic—or Noah had worked his magic—and trust was finally growing. Either way, she was going to take it as a win. Evidence that she could do this, that she could be the person she’d always wanted to be. That she and Noah could have the future they’d once dreamed of.

Exhaling heavily, she shook her head. She just had to get through the next three hours, and she’d be in his arms again. Luckily, she received a few phone calls in a row, which kept her busy and distracted. When Eden looked over at her, smile bright and excited, Summer checked the clock, then smiled back, nerves making her pulse pound.

Eden stood up. “Come on, let’s go.”

Summer jumped up, grabbed her purse, and followed Eden out the door. She drove her own car, so she could take Noah straight home afterward. Now that they were officially in a relationship, she wasn’t sure how things were going to work. She didn’t know if he’d want her to stay the night, or if he’d like some time on his own after being crammed into a tour bus with three other guys for two months. So she was going to let him lead and tell her what he needed and do her best to be happy either way. Right now, she was just overjoyed to have him home.

They pulled into the parking lot at the depot where the tour convoy was due to arrive. After locking their cars, Summer and Eden walked over to stand in the shade of the building while they waited. Noah had messaged Summer earlier to let her know they were running on time, so it would only be a few minutes before she saw him again.

Summer did her best to chat normally to Eden, but considering they were both as distracted as each other, their conversation was less than scintillating. By the time the security guard hit the button that set the big gate to rattling open and the first bus turned into the parking lot, Summer could barely breathe with excitement and nerves.

Bus after bus pulled into the lot, filling the air with heat and the pungent smell of diesel. By the time the big black one with the blue writing on the side pulled in, crew members had started piling off the others, unloading luggage and equipment. Shouts and laughter surrounded her as people milled around, but Summer’s gaze was fixed on the band’s bus as it drew to a stop not too far from where she and Summer were standing. The sound of the compression brakes was quickly followed by the door whooshing open.

Without conscious volition, Summer’s feet were moving, relief and happiness singing through her veins when Noah was first to step off the bus. Her feet stuttered to a stop when their eyes met, the intensity of Noah’s gaze freezing her in place. He dropped the bag he was carrying, took two long strides forward, and buried his hands in her hair. Then his lips were on hers, hot and insistent. She whimpered, joy, and lust, and love bubbling up in her chest, about ready to explode from her at being with him with again.

He pulled back just far enough to whisper, “You’re here. Eleven years later and you’re here.”

Understanding hit Summer and emotion choked her. Eleven years ago, she’d stood and watched him leave on his first tour, but she hadn’t been waiting for him when he got back. And now here they were. Together. Finally.

She pressed her mouth to his again. A soft kiss this time. One full of promise.

Eventually, they broke apart, and Noah cupped her cheek. “I’ve missed you so fucking much, Summer.”

“I’ve missed you too. So much.”

He scanned the parking lot. “Do you have your car?”

“Yeah, Eden and I drove over separately.”

“Perfect, let’s go.”

“Oh, shouldn’t I say hello to the other gu—”

“Nope, you can say hi tomorrow, or the next day, or whenever I let you come up for air.”

She laughed at the urgency in his voice. “Okay, let’s go.”

Almost before she’d finished talking, he was picking up his bag and tugging her by the hand toward where she’d parked her car. She waved at Eden and Tex, who barely acknowledged them they were so involved in their own enthusiastic reunion. Lexie smiled and waved, and Connor even spared her a smile as Noah towed her behind him. Zac was standing talking to Drew and gave her a nod of farewell. Before she knew it, Noah was opening the passenger side door of her car for her.

“It’s my car, shouldn’t I be driving?”

“I drive faster,” he said.

Laughing, she slid inside, and he dumped his bag in the back before rounding the car and climbing into the driver’s seat.

The trip home was quick. Maintaining a conversation was more difficult than it should have been because she was so keyed up. By the time they pulled into his driveway, she was almost shaking with anticipation.

Before she had a chance to open her own door, he was out and around to her side, opening it for her. He grabbed her hand and tugged her out, taking her mouth in another deep, intoxicating kiss. Then he hustled her up the stairs, only pulling himself away from her long enough to key in the entry code.

“Noah,” she laughed. “What about your bag?”

“I’ll get it later. I need to be inside you. Now.”

Well, she wasn’t going to argue with that. He pulled her through the big wooden door, kicking it shut behind them. Then he was pushing her back against it. His mouth was on hers again, his hands weaving through her hair, his hard body pressed up against her. Summer slid her arms around his chest and arched up into him.

This right here was all she’d ever wanted. She prayed that this time she was strong enough to deal with what it meant, because she never wanted to be without him again. But, as his hand tugged down the neckline of her dress, then her bra, and his mouth descended, all her thoughts flew out the window and the only thing she could focus on was him.

* * *

An hour later and Summer was wrung out in the best possible way. She was lying draped over Noah on the big couch in his living room. They hadn’t even made it to the bedroom. He’d taken her right there against the door, then again on the couch before he’d relaxed enough to slow down.

Now he was finally still. Everything except his fingertips, which were trailing languidly up and down her back.

She was completely still too, her mind quiet, just enjoying having his body underneath her, relishing the closeness. He’d been lying with his eyes closed, but when she looked up at his face again, her eyes met his. She sucked in a shuddery breath. They were so warm, so full of love that she almost couldn’t bear it. God, what if she hurt him again, what if—

Summer stopped herself, remembering what she’d learned from her therapy. Concentrate on where you are right now and forget about the what-ifs. Focus on what’s in front of you today, you can worry about the future some other time. And what was in front of her was Noah. The man she loved. The man who loved her. Right here and right now, it was just them, just the warmth of his skin against hers, just the strength of his arms around her, just the heat in his eyes.

The tension eased from Summer’s muscles and Noah reached up to cup her jaw, his thumb stroking her cheek. He’d kept his gaze on her the whole time, and he must have seen the turmoil in her eyes, but he hadn’t jumped in to interrogate her about what she was thinking. He’d given her time to work through it on her own, the way she needed to. But now he spoke.

“You and I can get through anything as long as we’re together, Summer. As long as we make sure to always be honest with each other about how we feel, okay?”

She swallowed, her heart swelling even more in her chest. “Okay.”

“Just remember, I love you, and I’ll do anything you need me to do.” His eyes searched hers. “Would it help if I went to your therapy sessions?”

Her throat tightened. God, what had she ever done to deserve him? “Maybe one day. Thank you for offering, Noah. It means a lot to me.”

He nodded, then ran his fingers through her hair. He studied her, and she thought he looked a little nervous. “So, I need to talk to you about something,” he said.

“Okay, what is it?”

“After you came to see me on tour, I made a decision. Before I tell you though, I need you to know that this was about me, not you, all right?”

An echo of nervousness rang through her, but she only nodded and kept her eyes fixed on his.

He exhaled. “So, I know you don’t want me to give up drumming, which I get, and I appreciate, because you’re right, I love it. Not as much as I love you, but yeah, it’s a big part of who I am.”

She watched him carefully. Where was he going with this?

“It was something that Eden said, actually. She mentioned how it would be harder for you and me since I’d be touring twice as much because of Crossfire. And I realized I didn’t want that. The thought of being away from you just touring with Fractured is hard enough; being away from you even more because of Crossfire is too much. I can’t and won’t do that. So, I told Zac I was quitting Crossfire.”

Summer jerked upright, alarm billowing through her. “Noah, you love Crossfire. You told me how good it was putting the band together with Zac.”

Noah pushed himself up too, and grabbed her hands, holding them tightly. “Yeah, I did—I do—love Crossfire. But you have to understand, Summer. Crossfire was there when I needed it. When Fractured went on hiatus, I understood why. It’d been an intense few years, and the guys needed a break. But I didn’t. Or at least, I didn’t want one. I’d spent the last eleven years trying to fill every spare moment with something, anything, to distract me. To convince me that my life was perfect just the way it was and there wasn’t anything, or anyone, missing from it. The thought of being on hiatus and having nothing to do scared the hell out of me. So, I jumped at the chance to back up Zac. And it was great, finding Beau and Devon, developing our sound, the thrill of starting off small again, having to prove ourselves to the fans. It was a lot of fun. But that’s all it was. I enjoyed it, but Fractured will always be my priority. It’s where my heart lies.

“And now I have you again and suddenly I don’t need to be distracted. I don’t need to fill every spare moment, because I want to fill those moments with you. I don’t want to be traipsing around the country when I can be here. I don’t want to be at practice or extra PR events. I’ve lived this life for a long time without you by my side. I didn’t want that back then and I don’t want it now. I want to experience it with you. And I can’t do that if I’m never here. So, I meant it when I said I made this decision for me, not you. Not because I think you can’t handle it, but because I can’t.”

“Noah,” she whispered, tears welling up and overflowing. She couldn’t express to him everything she wanted to say, so instead of babbling helplessly, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.

Noah let go of her hands and cradled her head, slanting his mouth to kiss her deeper. When he hardened beneath her, she reached down and, without taking her mouth from his, raised herself up and positioned him at her entrance, then slid down onto him.

She swallowed Noah’s groan, her hips rocking against his as she showed him exactly how much she loved him.

Afterward, when she was cuddled up to him again, she asked, “Was Zac upset?”

Noah hesitated. “I’m not sure, to be honest. He seemed to take it well; kind of like he expected it. He probably did, actually. He’s always known Crossfire was a bit of fun for me. It was his dream, not mine.”

“You mean being frontman?”

“Yeah.”

“What do you think he’d do if he ever had to choose between Crossfire and Fractured?”

Noah winced, then sighed. “I don’t know. And I can’t say that doesn’t worry me.”

“Well, I’m assuming they’re planning to replace you as drummer. If Zac left Fractured, would you replace him?”

Noah’s expression was thoughtful, but he shook his head slowly. “I don’t think so. I mean I can’t speak for the others, but I can’t imagine continuing Fractured with someone else. It just wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t feel the same.”

Summer stroked her hand over his shoulder. “I’m sure it won’t come to that anyway,” she said.

The tightness in his jaw and the way his fingers began tapping on her thigh proved he wasn’t convinced. She cupped his cheek, and when his eyes met hers, she smiled. “Don’t worry about what-ifs,” she told him, repeating the lesson she was trying very hard to learn.

He rewarded her with a slow, sexy smile, the tension leaving his face. “You’re right. Why worry about something that might never happen when I’ve got you, naked in my arms.”

Her eyes widened at the suddenly very obvious sign of his arousal. “Surely you can’t…”

He laughed. “You seriously underestimate me when it comes to you, Summer. But, now that I’m home, we’ve got all the time in the world. Come on, let’s get you to bed. That way you can be nice and rested for tomorrow.”

“Why, what’s happening tomorrow?”

He just looked at her, then took her hand and placed it on his erection. “This. This is happening tomorrow. A lot of this.”

Summer’s laugh turned into a shriek as Noah stood quickly, then bent down to sweep her up in his arms. He grinned down at her as he walked them both naked through the house and up the stairs to his bedroom. She giggled the whole way. But his expression turned serious as he laid her on the bed. “I love you, Sunshine. You are the only woman I want, the only woman I’ll ever want. Please tell me you believe me?”

She studied his brilliant blue eyes, the angles and planes of his face, his seductive lips, and nodded. “I believe you, Noah, and I love you, too. It’s always been you in my heart. No one else, only you.”

And as he smiled and slid under the covers with her, wrapping her up in his strong arms, she knew this time she was ready to love him—and be loved by him—the way they both deserved.

Without fear.