Fractured Trust by L. M. Dalgleish

Chapter 33

Noah’s eyes roamed over the crowd, his entire body throbbing with the cascading beat as he let his drumsticks roll over the toms, the explosive crash of his cymbals ringing in his ears. But he wasn’t feeling the same joy he normally did when he was playing in front of a sell-out crowd. Summer hadn’t responded to his last two messages. He’d sent one a couple of hours before the concert started, and then another fifteen minutes before they went on stage. But there had been no response.

He knew he shouldn’t worry. There could be any number of reasons she hadn’t gotten back to him. But he couldn’t shake the feeling something had changed, and anxiety crawled up his spine.

Was this how Summer had felt when he was on tour? Constantly on edge like this, waiting for everything to fall apart? Was he wrong to put her through it? Was he being selfish? Should he just let her go, the way she’d wanted him to?

No. He had to believe there was a future for them. Because there was no future for him with anyone else. He’d said he was going to fight for her, and he was. He had been. Starting with that first innocuous text message he’d sent her five weeks ago; gripping the phone so hard while he waited for her reply, he was surprised he hadn’t crushed it in his hand.

It wasn’t a lot. But there wasn’t much else he could do while he was still on tour except to show her she was always on his mind. Show her he wasn’t going to walk away that easily.

Keeping it platonic had been hard. Especially after he’d started calling her. Every time he heard her voice, he’d imagine her, curled up on the couch, or stretched out on the bed, and he’d want to push her, to lower his voice and tell her all the things he wanted to do to her. All the things he wanted her to do to him. He’d imagine what she was wearing. Imagine telling her to strip it off and touch herself while he whispered in her ear all the ways he wanted to touch her.

But he hadn’t. He’d made sure to keep it friendly, giving her what she really needed from him. Anything else and he risked scaring her off when he wasn’t there to work through it with her.

So, he was going to keep up the messages and the phone calls until he got home. But guaranteed, his first stop after he got off the bus would be her apartment. Then he was going to make sure she knew that no matter how long it took for her to trust him, he wasn’t going anywhere.

Noah’s gaze swept over the crowd again, his eyes landing on Lexie in front of the pit. They swept past her, then jerked back. What was Eden doing here tonight? She’d only visited last weekend. He hadn’t thought she was planning to visit again before the end of the tour. Then a flash of color caught his attention, and for a second, he thought his eyes were deceiving him. That his desire to see Summer was so strong he’d imagined her into existence, the way he’d used to do after seeing her in Chicago. But it was her, standing there next to Eden, a flicker of a nervous smile on her face.

It was only years of practice that stopped him from dropping a beat when his eyes met hers. His heart stuttered and skipped in his chest, completely out of rhythm. But that didn’t stop the grin spreading across his face as he drank her in. It’d been seven weeks since he’d seen her. Seven weeks of longing for her and wondering if she’d be there when he got back.

But now she was here. Only thirty feet away. And fuck, he couldn’t wait for this damn concert to be over, so he could take her into his arms, so he could tell her he loved her with every inch of his being. He kept his eyes fixed on her for the rest of the set. And as soon as he hit the last beat of the last song, he threw his sticks down, vaulted from the riser, strode to the front of the stage, and leaped down into the secure area in front of the pit—much to the excitement of the crowd and the dismay of the security guards doing their best to hold people back.

He reached her in two long strides and yanked her to him. Without stopping to ask what her being there meant for them, not caring in that moment, he crashed his lips down on hers, his tongue stroking into her mouth, getting drunk on the taste of her. Everything else fell away as his lips moved over hers, as their tongues tangled. She was kissing him back, her hands clutching at his shirt, pulling him closer.

When they finally broke apart, breathless and panting, Noah clasped her shoulders. “Summer, please tell me the fact you’re here means something. Please fucking tell me you want to give us another chance. Because I need you, Sunshine. I’ve always needed you. I’m not whole when you’re not with me. I love you. I loved you when we were teenagers. I love you now, and I will love you when I’m old and fucking gray.”

Summer laughed. “I do want another chance, Noah. I don’t want to keep running away anymore. I love you too; every part of you. And I’m not going to let you go again. I’m going to hold on this time. I promise.”

He kissed her again; the screams, the camera flashes all fading away, until there was nothing but her.

He still had so much he wanted to ask her, so much to say, and so fucking much he wanted to do. But here wasn’t the place. He picked her up and turned, lifting her onto the stage, then vaulting up after her. Tex and Connor were there, shaking their heads and smirking. But they surprised him by jumping down too and lifting Eden and Lexie up on stage to join them.

“Can’t have you showing us up,” Tex mock-scowled at him as he gave the crowd a wave, lifted Eden, so she could wrap her legs around his waist, and strode off, not even waiting until they were offstage before his mouth was on hers. Connor rolled his eyes, but not to be outdone; he made sure Lexie had her camera secure, then swept her up in his arms and followed Tex.

The screams and catcalls from the crowd at the unexpected show were deafening. Summer pressed her face against Noah’s chest, arms locked around him, obviously overwhelmed by being up on stage in front of thousands of people, but her body was shaking, and she was laughing, and Noah didn’t think he’d ever heard anything more beautiful.

Zac walked past him and gave him a hearty slap on the shoulder. “What the hell are you still standing here for, get her out of here. Don’t worry about the after party, I think you can take a pass on this one.”

Fuck, Zac was right. What the hell was he still doing there when he could be somewhere alone with Summer. After giving the crowd a grin and a two-finger salute, he guided Summer offstage.

“Where are we going?” she asked as he navigated her down several corridors.

“We’ve got four hours before the bus has to leave, so no time to take you to a hotel. But there’s no way I can hold off on touching you, so I hope you don’t mind a relatively spacious bunk for our reunion.” He smiled down at her, loving the flash of heat in her eyes.

“I’m happy anywhere you are, Noah. It’s been too long. We need to talk, but that can wait because right now, I need you too.”

Fuck.He sped up and finally they got to the exit, which led to the secure parking area. He hit the exit door with an outstretched arm, and they burst out, startling the big man standing just to the side to make sure no one tried sneaking out of the venue and onto the bus. Noah gave the man a nod as he pulled Summer past him, ignoring the smirk on his face.

The door of the big black tour bus opened as they got closer and Will came down the stairs, one brow cocked. He was too well-trained to let his expression change, but Noah thought he saw a sparkle in the man’s dark eyes.

Before Noah had a chance to say anything, Will said, “I’ll relieve Ben at the door and send him inside to help with the after party.”

Summer’s head dropped forward, and her hair fell around her face. Noah knew if he swept those rose-gold locks back, her cheeks would be pink, but she had nothing to be embarrassed about. Will knew she was no groupie, and there wasn’t a man in the world that wouldn’t need to be alone with his woman if they were in his situation. But he didn’t say anything, just flashed Will a grateful smile.

As soon as the door closed behind them Noah buried his hands in her hair. His mouth was on hers, his tongue sliding between her lips even as he backed her down the short corridor that led to the living space, then through it to the sleeping area. He breathed in her whimpers as he skated the fingers of one hand over her delicate collarbone down to the swell of her breast. Her nipple was diamond hard against his palm. Fuck. She wasn’t wearing a bra.

He pulled her against his hips, grinding his cock against her while Summer frantically tugged his shirt up, his abs flexing as her knuckles skimmed over them. She reached for his jeans, popped them open, and jerked down his fly.

Noah dragged his lips against the skin of her neck; licked and nipped his way down until he could feel her pulse hammering against his tongue. He had to break away, so he could help her pull his shirt over his head, then discard it to the side. Once it was off, Summer dragged her fingers up his chest, then dug her nails into his shoulders and arched herself up against him.

“Fuck, Summer.” Her breaths were coming in hard pants, her eyes thin rings of pale green around huge black pools. Seeing her like that, as frantic for him as he was for her, sent a rush of heat flaring up his spine. He needed to be deep inside her. Needed to feel her coming undone around him.

He gripped the hem of her dress and dragged it up and off her in one go, leaving her exposed in only her lace panties. Her mouthwatering pink nipples were hard and jutting, and with a groan, he reached for her. His thumb teased a tight peak, stroking and rolling it between his fingers, drawing a low moan from her.

Curling an arm around her waist, he ran his hand down between her thighs, his fingers pressing against the already-soaked fabric of her panties. He made a guttural noise deep in his throat. “You’re killing me, Sunshine.”

He pressed the heel of his palm against her clit.

“Noah,” she gasped. “Please. I need you so much.”

He stroked his fingers over her, and she shuddered. “I can’t tell you how often I’ve thought about this while I’ve been away. My fingers deep inside you, my cock filling you. It’s been driving me crazy.”

He pushed aside the wet material between her legs and traced his finger around her entrance, holding her immobile against him as he pressed one finger deep inside her. She moaned, her face pressed to his chest, the sound vibrating through him. “That’s what you want, isn’t it?” he growled.

She made an incoherent noise of agreement, then inhaled sharply as he pressed another finger into her. He would have liked to keep her there, his fingers sliding in and out of her until she fell apart in his arms, but he was too impatient. Instead, he maneuvered her backward and onto his bunk, then crawled on top of her, still wearing the jeans he hadn’t had a chance to remove yet.

Noah licked a trail over the swell of her breast, then circled her hard nipple with the tip of his tongue, before drawing it into his mouth. Summer writhed, trapped under him as he continued stroking his fingers inside her, his thumb pulsing against her clit.

When he nipped at her, she gasped and bucked up against him. “Noah. Oh, God.” And then, in a rush, she was coming, her hips jolting, body clenching around his fingers as her nails dug into his back.

Noah groaned long and deep. “I’ve been dying to feel you come again. I needed it. I need you, Summer. I fucking need you.”

She cried out again as he withdrew his fingers, lying there dazed and panting as he quickly stripped off his jeans and underwear. Then he gripped the sides of her panties and dragged them down her long, smooth legs.

Laid out on his bunk, with her hair a halo around her head and cheeks stained pink, Summer looked like every man’s wet dream. Noah had to take his cock in his fist and give himself a couple of rough strokes to try to ease the desperate, heated tension building inside him.

He positioned himself between her thighs, then notched himself against her entrance. Pushing one of her knees back to make more room for himself he surged forward, only getting halfway in before he had to stop. He bit back a groan as her body tightened around him. “You need to relax for me, Sunshine.”

She whimpered, then took a few uneven breaths as she clutched at his biceps. He was sure she could feel them shaking from the effort he was expending to not just slam his way home, to fuck her hard the way his body was demanding. But it had been weeks, and the last thing he wanted was to hurt her in his rush to get inside her again. When she relaxed, the clutch of her body finally loosening around him, he pushed in deeper. Then again, and again until he’d buried himself inside her.

Noah gritted his teeth. “Do you have any idea how good you feel?”

Summer propped herself up on her elbows, so she could look down at where they were joined, causing her to flex around him. His cock pulsed, and he knew he wasn’t going to last long.

Noah withdrew, a long excruciatingly slow movement that had flames licking across his skin. Summer let her head fall back, her hips rolling up against him. “More, Noah. I need more,” she panted.

Noah huffed out a pained laugh. “You don’t know what you’re asking. It’ll be over before it’s begun.”

In response, she squeezed around him so tightly he hissed. “Fuck, you’re going to be the death of me.” But he did what she asked, pulling out and then slamming back into her. Summer dropped back down flat on the mattress, raising her other leg, and hooking it around his hips. Her heel pressed into him and he lost all restraint. His strokes took on a fast, driving rhythm. Summer cried out, her voice growing louder as he held her on the edge of release until she was almost sobbing.

Tension built low and deep inside Noah, heat spreading fast through his body. His fingers dug into her hip. “I need you to come for me, Summer.”

Noah bent down and swirled his tongue around her nipple before drawing it deep. He pumped into her until her body went as taut as a bow beneath him, then he raked his teeth over the hard peak, and she shattered. Her internal muscles spasmed around him, and he drove into her even faster, until with a curse, he jerked his hips forward, slamming into her as he erupted, molten pleasure scorching through his veins in what felt like a never-ending wave.

He crushed his mouth to hers, his tongue thrusting deep as she trembled around him. When his pulse finally slowed from its frantic pounding, he pulled back to look at her. His lips curved up at the sight of her shining, heavy-lidded eyes. Still half-hard, he gave a couple of leisurely pumps, groaning long and deep as she reflexively tightened around him. Then he leaned down and whispered against her lips. “We’re only getting started.”

* * *

“I have to get dressed, Noah. I have to leave soon to catch my flight,” Summer sighed.

Noah grumbled and cinched his arm tighter around her. “Can’t you stay with me? There’s only two weeks of the tour left; you can come with us. Connor and Lexie have the bedroom at the back of the bus, but the bunk isn’t too bad. We can make it work.”

Summer ran her fingers through his hair. “Believe me, I’d love to spend the next two weeks with you, but I need to get back to work. Eden and I only flew in for this one night, just so I could talk to you in person, and she wanted to see Tex again, too.”

He propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at her, his eyes roaming over her face, suppressing the urge to grin smugly at her sated expression. “Not that I’m complaining, but why did you change your mind? My whole plan was to just make sure you knew I was still with you until I could get back to L.A. and pursue you relentlessly.” He smiled, brushing his thumb over her lower lip, swollen from his kisses. Then he grew more serious. “And are you sure you’re going to be okay with everything? Because what I said before stands. If you need me to leave this behind, I will. I’ll walk away and I won’t regret it because I’ll have you.” He dropped his hand, so he could trace patterns over the soft skin of her breasts, his finger circling closer and closer to her tightening nipple as he waited to hear her reply.

She turned her eyes toward him and reached up to touch his face. “I will never take this away from you, Noah. I couldn’t live with myself.” She paused. “And I’ve been seeing a therapist. About my… issues. My insecurities aren’t gone; I’m not sure they’ll ever be completely gone. But I’m working on it, every day, to make sure I don’t make the same mistakes again. I hurt you, and I hurt myself, and we lost eleven years, because of me.”

She took a deep, shuddery breath. “Now I need to learn to trust myself again, too. But I’m going to. And I’m going to fight every day to hold on to you. I don’t want to get to the end of my life regretting the chances I didn’t take. I have too many regrets as it is. I want to know that I gave my heart without reservation. I want to know that I loved with everything I had—without fear. And the only man I want to do that with is you.”

He pressed his lips to hers, his tongue sweeping into her mouth, stroking against hers. Then he pulled back, one corner of his mouth hooking up. “So does that mean you’re officially my girlfriend again?”

She fluttered her lashes at him. “Are you asking me to go steady with you, Noah Taylor?”

His grin grew wider. “I’m asking you to be mine. For as long as you can put up with me.”

“I’ve always been yours,” she said, a soft vulnerability in her eyes.

Noah brushed his thumb along her jaw, then drifted it over her lower lip. “That’s good to hear, Sunshine. Because you own me. You have since the first time we met.” Her eyes went glossy, and he cupped the back of her head and brought her to him for a long, searing kiss. Then gathering her close, he buried his nose in the crook of her neck and breathed her in. Fuck, he didn’t want her to go. He hated the thought that he was going to have to wait another two weeks to see her again.

Sooner than he hoped, she was sighing and pulling away. She climbed out of the bunk and gathered her clothes, then dressed quickly. He climbed out after her and pulled on his jeans. Just in time too because there was a loud thumping on the side of the bus and a few seconds later, the door opened and Connor, Zac, Tex, Lexie, and Eden piled in. Connor winked at him. “Thought we should give you some warning,”

“We appreciate it.” Noah grinned as he finished pulling his shirt over his head.

His sister wandered over to him and wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her back. “Thanks for bringing her, short stuff.”

She looked up at him, blue eyes sparkling. “My pleasure. I’m just glad it all worked out for the best. You two are meant for each other.”

He looked over at where Summer was chatting to Connor and Lexie and couldn’t stop the frisson of nerves that shuddered through him. “I just hope she’s really going to be okay with this. I’m terrified that between now and me getting back from the tour, she’ll change her mind. I did offer to quit, but she didn’t want me to.”

Eden’s brows shot skyward. “You offered to give up drumming?”

Noah rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, that’s what caused her to break it off before I left. I still would, in a heartbeat, if that’s what she needs.”

Eden shook her head. “Wow,” she breathed. “I get where she’s coming from. Not the bit where she broke your heart. But not wanting you to quit; I’m with her one hundred percent. Summer knows as well as I do that drumming is who you are. If you gave it up, she’d have to live with the knowledge that being with her meant you had to lose part of what makes you who you are. Do you actually think that would ever make a person like Summer happy?”

“I just want her to know she’s safe with me. I thought if I’m not going out on the road, she’d feel better about us.”

“Noah, you can’t give up what you love to assuage her fears. The only thing you can do is be there for her. To show her that no matter what else is happening in your life, she’s your priority. And yes, you guys have it even harder than Connor and Lexie and me and Tex because you’re touring with Fractured and Crossfire. But look at her.” She pointed across the length of the living area to where Summer was saying goodbye to the others. “She’s here, she knows who you are and what that means for her, and she’s here anyway, fighting for what she wants; even if the only person she has to fight is herself.”

Noah watched Summer give Lexie a hug, a warm smile on her face, and his heart missed a beat. Eden was right; giving up drumming wasn’t the answer. He was a drummer, the rhythm and the beat were a part of him, baked into his bones. But Summer was his heart, the blood that flowed through his veins, the air that filled his lungs. If she didn’t want him to give up drumming, he wouldn’t. But he knew exactly what he did need to do—what he wanted to do.

When Summer turned to look for him, he met her gaze and smiled, pulling an answering smile from her. She came toward him just as Drew walked in and announced the car was outside, ready to take her and Eden to the airport.

Noah nodded at Drew in acknowledgment before wrapping Summer in his arms. “Two weeks, Sunshine. Two weeks and then I’m going to show you again exactly how happy I am that you’re mine.”

Her lips parted under his, and she dug her nails into the muscles of his back. He groaned and then broke away. “Okay. Let’s get you into the car, so I can come back, crash, and be one night closer to getting home to you.”

She laughed, went up on her tiptoes to press her lips to his, then turned and walked in front of him out of the bus. Eden, Tex, and the others followed behind them. A black limo waited next to the bus, and with one final too-short kiss, Summer and Eden were in the car, and it was pulling away from him.

The taillights disappeared out of the parking lot, and Noah sighed and followed the others back onto the bus. After entering the living area, Noah made a beeline to where Zac had just sat down at the small kitchen table. Noah slid into the seat opposite him, and Zac looked up from his phone.

“Hey, man,” Noah started, and a flash of what might have been resignation tightened Zac’s features. The expression smoothed away so quickly Noah wasn’t even sure it had been there to start with. “We need to talk.”

Zac leaned back in his seat and contemplated him. “You’re out, aren’t you?”

Noah blinked. “Uh, yeah. How did you…”

Zac shrugged. “You want more time with Summer, I get it. Being in two bands works when you’ve got no one waiting at home for you. A bit harder when you’re touring twice as much and missing someone every day.”

Noah blew a breath out, relieved that Zac understood. “You know I’ve loved being in Crossfire, building it from the ground up with you, hanging with Beau and Devon, it’s been awesome. But it’s not my priority like it is for you. Not like Fractured, and definitely not like Summer. I want to make up for the years she and I have missed out on, and I can’t do that if I’m never home.”

A faint smile curved Zac’s lips. “I can’t say I’m not going to miss having you with us. And I don’t have a fucking clue who we’re going to replace you with, but we’ll work it out. I’m just glad you two are finally on the same page.” His smile turned into a full-on smirk. “You were fucking unbearable for a while there.”

Noah pointed at himself with fake affront. “Moi? I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m always a delight to be around.”

They both laughed, but Noah’s expression turned serious. “I appreciate you being so calm about this. And I’m not going to leave you in the lurch. I’ll stick around until we find Crossfire another drummer. I mean, whoever it is won’t be as good as me, obviously. But we’ll get you someone as close as possible.”

“We’ll need to break the news to Devon and Beau when we get back. I think Devon actually mentioned having a friend who’s a drummer. We’re going to have to figure out a way to announce it to the fans though.”

Noah nodded, but his mind was already back on Summer. On how he was getting a second chance with her. On how it was funny the way things worked out. How he’d used to think that the two of them were meant to be. Fated somehow. He’d lost faith in that idea over the last eleven years, but maybe he’d been right all along. Maybe his fate had been set in stone from the very moment he’d first spoken to her. He remembered the moment like it was yesterday.

She was walking across the campus, long strawberry blonde hair swirling around her shoulders in the light breeze. It wasn’t the first time he’d noticed her, but it was the first time he could do something about it; he’d broken up with his last girlfriend a month ago.

Leaving the friends he’d been walking with behind, he broke into a jog. “Hey, wait up!” he called out.

She turned, uncertainty flashing across her face. She looked around as if she weren’t sure he was talking to her, and he grinned as he came to a stop in front of her. “Yes, I’m talking to you.”

She blinked, her eyes big. “Uh…” Man, she was even more fucking adorable up close.

He grinned wider. “So, I just wanted to say hi, and introduce myself. I’m Noah.” It was obvious from the way her throat bobbed she knew who he was. “You’re Summer, right?”

The faintest of flushes warmed the skin of her cheeks. “Yes?” she answered.

He laughed at the question in her voice, his eyes dropping to her lips. He wondered what she’d taste like when he finally got to kiss her. Was it too soon to be thinking about that? “You don’t sound so sure,” he said.

She visibly pulled herself together. “Hi. Yes, I’m Summer. Um, do you need something?”

Damn, she was gorgeous. Nervous and flushed, but doing her best not to show it. His eyes went to her hair, and he fought the urge to reach out and slide his fingers through it, to see whether it was as soft and silky as it looked. The color reminded him of a summer sunset when the sky blazed with pinks and golds. He shook his head at himself. He needed to get a grip. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to frighten the other guys in the band by attempting to write a song with all this lyrical shit running through his head. “You know, your name really suits you,” he blurted out instead of answering her question.

She cocked her head at him. “It does?”

Noah just nodded. He’d look like an idiot if he opened his mouth and let his thoughts on the color of her hair spill out now. “Yeah. Maybe I’ll tell you why I think so after we’ve been dating for a while.”

Her lips parted in surprise. “W-what?”

But the certainty had hit him just then. He didn’t know how he knew, but he did; this girl was going to be his. He’d never been in love, had no idea what it might feel like when it happened. But watching her now, seeing the emotions playing over her delicate features, he could sense something. Something big waiting to take him over, to pull him apart and put him back together again in a completely different way. As if, after this one conversation, his life might never be the same. As ifhe might never be the same.

He kept his shrug casual, though; not wanting to scare her off. But he did want to make sure she knew he was serious about dating her. “I mean, okay, we haven’t had our first date yet, but I can already feel it’s going to go well. So yeah, I’ll tell you why after we’ve been dating for a while.”

She closed her mouth with a snap, her eyes searching his. She must have seen something she liked because the faintest of smiles curled her lips, even as her flush deepened. “Okay, Noah Taylor. I’ll look forward to hearing why. That is, if you ever get around to actually asking me on a date.” She looked up at him through her long lashes and bit her plump bottom lip as if she were trying to hold in an even bigger smile. And he was done for.

“I… uh, I…” Dammit, he’d never been lost for words in front of a girl before.

The smile she’d been holding in came bursting through, and she laughed with an almost shocked delight—as if she couldn’t believe his reaction. He stared at her, entranced.

“Well, let me know when you’re ready to ask me. I’d really like to know about my name,” she said, before turning on her heel, shooting him another smile over her shoulder, this one an intoxicating mix of shyness and newfound confidence at the knowledge she’d rendered him speechless.

He let his head tip back, stared up at the blue sky, and groaned. This girl was going to drive him crazy; he could feel it already. And he thought he just might love it.

Blowing out a breath, he looked back down and called out to her retreating back. “Wait! Summer, wait!”

Noah leaned back in his chair as the bus rumbled into life beneath him, a rueful smile pulling at his lips. He’d been right, back then. He’d never been the same after that.