Don’t Let Me Break by Linda Verji

 

 

CHAPTER 16

 

Marley woke up the next morning.

Her waking up was accompanied by panic because she wasn’t sure whether Hazel had paid Leslie off or not. However, when Kenny welcomed her back with happiness instead of terror because her horrible secret had been revealed, Marley breathed a sigh of relief.

That relief didn’t last for long.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Leslie?” Kenny confronted her as they were having breakfast.

Marley’s heart immediately stuttered in its path. The fork in her hand froze over the scrambled eggs on her plate. “You know about Leslie?”

“Yes, I know about Leslie,” Kenny confirmed. Looking remarkably calm for someone who’d discovered that someone outside their family knew her secret, she added, “Hazel told me.”

Why would Hazel tell Kenny? Didn’t she know that Marley was doing all this to protect Kenny?

“Why didn’t you tell me about Leslie?” Kenny repeated.

“I just-” With trembling fingers, Marley set her fork on the plate. “- I just didn’t want to upset you.”

Kenny stopped eating too to ask, “Why would knowing about her upset me?”

Because she knows you killed dad, Marley thought. However, she didn’t say the words aloud.

“Before you let her try to blackmail you,” Kenny said, “you should’ve told me.”

“I couldn’t,” Marley said, but didn’t elaborate. Instead, she asked, “Did Hazel give her the money?”

“Of course not,” her sister returned vehemently.

“Why not?” Immediate panic rose up Marley’s throat. “She should’ve given her the money. What if she goes and tells everyone that…” Her voice faded into silence.

Her eyes on Marley, Kenny prodded, “That what?”

“That- that-” Marley licked her suddenly dry lips, then plunged headfirst into the topic they’d avoided discussing almost all their lives. “That you killed Dad.”

“What?” Kenny’s eyes widened until it almost seemed like they were about to pop out of their sockets. “You think I killed Dad?”

Well, yeah! Who else could it be? It certainly wasn’t Cynthia because after the murder, she’d been trying to perform CPR on Gary. The freshly fired pistol had been right at Kenny’s feet. Furthermore, Kenny had threatened to ‘stop him’ just minutes before his death.

Confused by the question, Marley asked, “Wasn’t it you?”

“N-” Kenny suddenly stopped talking. Her gaze became more thoughtful, and she canted her head to study Marley. It was almost as if she was mentally doing some difficult mathematical equations.

“Wasn’t it you?” Marley repeated.

Kenny slowly nodded. “You’re right. It was me.”

The reluctant confession bothered Marley. Kenny had obviously killed their dad, so why would she deny it? Did she think that Marley would judge her for it? Suddenly, Marley felt guilty for putting her sister on the spot by bringing up the topic.

Marley reached across the table to squeeze Kenny’s hand. “You know I don’t blame you for it, right?”

“I know.” Kenny smiled, but the smile didn’t quite reach her brown eyes.

“If you hadn’t ki-” Marley paused then rephrased it. “If you hadn’t stopped him, he would’ve eventually killed mom and us. You saved us.”

“Mm.” Kenny nodded then squeezed Marley’s hand.

Eager to put the nasty subject of their father behind them, Marley said, “But we need to pay off Leslie if we don’t want her to tell everyone.”

“No, we can’t pay her off.” Kenny shook her head vehemently. “From what I heard, she’s a junky. If we start giving her money now, she’ll just keep coming back for more.”

Knowing that her sister was right, Marley sighed in frustration. “So how do we deal with her?”

“No, this is not a ‘we’ thing. It’s an ‘I’ thing,” Kenny corrected, emphasizing the ‘I’. “I’ll meet up with her and handle her on my own.”

“No,” Marley protested, “I want to help this time.”

“And I appreciate it.” Her tone hardening, Kenny added, “But this one is on me. Leslie is coming after me, so I should be the one to deal with her.”

“But you’re always dealing with things for me.”

“Because I’m your big sister,” Kenny said, “and my job is to take care of you.”

“You don’t need to take care of me anymore,” Marley protested. “I’m twenty-eight.”

“But I’m still your big sister.” Kenny grinned. “Even when you’re ninety-eight and toddling along on your scooter, I’ll still be two years older.”

“You know that’s not what I mean.” Marley couldn’t keep her frustration from leaking into her voice. “Kenny, you take care of me all the time. Sometimes, I want to take care of you too.”

“And you’ll get your chance.” Kenny added, “Just not today.”

Marley protested, “Kenny.”

“Leslie’s not a normal person. She’s a jailbird and a junkie with no qualms about doing something illegal like blackmail,” Kenny reminded her. “We both know that I’m more suited to dealing with a roach like her. Just let me handle it, okay?”

Kenny was right. She was better at dealing with stuff like this. But still, Marley hated that this was falling on her sister’s shoulder. Again.

Frustration with how helpless and useless she was welled up inside her.

“If you really want to help me, then you can do the dishes while I sleep,” Kenny said as she stood. “I haven’t slept yet because I was watching you all night to make sure Hazel didn’t try to run away.”

Marley asked, “Run away to where?”

However, before she could get an answer, her phone rang.

Marley’s heart immediately jumped to her throat when she saw the name on the screen. Mr. Levy.

Kenny saw the name too, and she frowned. “Him again?”

“Again?” Marley frowned. “Did he call while I was gone?”

“He did more than call,” her sister said. “He’s the one who brought Hazel home yesterday.”

“What?” Marley’s eyes bugged out of their sockets. “Why?”

“I don’t know. Pick up the phone.” Kenny sat back down. “I want to hear what he has to say.”

After putting her phone on loudspeaker, Marley answered it. “Hello?”

“Marley?” Sebastian’s deep, melodic voice echoed in the room. “Are you still at home?”

Marley traded looks with Kenny then answered, “Yes, I’m still at home.”

“Great.” It sounded like he was smiling. “I’m about five minutes away from your place. Come down. I’ll give you a ride to work.”

Wait, what? Since when had he started giving her rides to work? And why? So many questions bounced around in her head, but before she could ask them, he ended the call.

“He’s giving you a ride to work?” Kenny was the first to speak. Frowning, she asked, “What’s going on between you two?”

“Nothing.” Marley hadn’t mentioned the lunches with Sebastian to Kenny, and she wasn’t ready to do it yet. “We’re just colleagues.”

“Just colleagues?” Kenny pursed her lips. “He’s taking an awful lot of interest in you for someone who is just a colleague.” She paused then added, “Then again, I guess colleagues is the only thing you two could be, seeing as he’s gay.”

“He’s what?” Marley was shocked.

“He’s gay.”

Sebastian was gay? Since when?

“Didn’t you know?” Kenny offered, “Hazel is the one who told me.”

Marley wanted to call Hazel a liar, but she couldn’t. Not when she didn’t know the extent of her alter’s interaction with Sebastian. Furthermore, despite having been around a lot of gay folk, Marley didn’t have the most reliable gaydar. Who knows? Maybe Sebastian really was gay.

The thought sent disappointment roiling through Marley. Though she’d never dared to acknowledge it, she was attracted to Sebastian. He was nice, thoughtful and a real gentleman. Part of her had hoped that he was spending so much time with her because he was attracted to her too.

What a joke she was!

She should’ve known better. A man like him would never be interested in someone as meek as her. He just spent time with her because he was so nice and pitied her.

 

* * * * *

 

SEBASTIAN WAS ON tenterhooks waiting in his car. Who would emerge today? Marley or Hazel?

When he saw her walk out of the building, relief pulsed through him. It’s Marley. She’s back.

He’d been around her long enough that he could recognize her just by the way she held herself, the way she moved, and even the way she looked around nervously.

Marley looked around the parking lot, trying to find his car. When she found him, she stilled. Even though they were a distance apart, he could’ve sworn that he heard her breath catch in her throat. Her steps as she walked to his car were short and fast, as if she was afraid of making him wait.

“I’m- I’m sorry,” she apologized as soon as she was in the car. “I- I didn’t mean to- to keep you waiting for so long.”

“It’s okay.” He smiled at her. “I didn’t wait for long.”

As soon as he started the car, it beeped in warning.

“Your seatbelt,” he reminded her.

“Oh.” She fumbled to get it across her body. Her hands must’ve been trembling because she had trouble getting the belt into its buckle.

“Let me help you,” Sebastian unbuckled his seatbelt and moved closer to help her.

It was only when he leaned towards Marley that he realized what he’d done. He’d invaded her space. Predictably, she stiffened and her eyes widened. However, what held his attention was his own reaction. His muscles tensed… not in protest, but in anticipation. His senses, having realized just how close he was to her, started to crackle in awareness.

They were so close that her breath whispered against his cheek. What if he turned his head? What if his lips touched hers? How would she react? Would she hold her breath or would she melt into the kiss? What if…

Stop! He gave himself a mental slap. What the hell is wrong with you, Sebastian?

He wasn’t an idiot. He’d already figured out that he was attracted to Marley. However, this wasn’t the time to reveal that attraction. They had more important things to sort out first.

“Sorry,” he mumbled as he hurriedly helped her buckle the seatbelt. After it was done, he quickly moved away from her to keep from doing something stupid.

He revved the car and backed out of the parking lot.

The start of their drive was silent. Though Marley kept sneaking glances at him, she didn’t say anything. Sebastian waited until traffic slowed them down to bring up the issue that had kept him awake all of last night.

Without looking at her, he said, “I met Hazel yesterday.”

Marley’s breath emerged from her lips in a whoosh. “Wha- what?”

“I met Hazel yesterday.” Since traffic was currently at a standstill, he turned to face her completely as he added, “She said she was standing in for you at work because you were sick. Was that true?”

Marley’s lips parted as if she wanted to say something, but no words emerged. From the frantic way she was blinking, he could tell that her brain was racing and trying to figure out what he knew or how much he knew.

Usually, he would try to ease her discomfort by changing the subject. But today, he didn’t. He just waited for her to answer his questions.

“Y- y- yes,” Marley stammered. “I had- had a stomach b- bug, so she- she went to work for me.”

Traffic had moved a little. As Sebastian inched the car forward, he said, “She said she’s your twin sister.”

“Yes. Yes. Yes. She-” Marley’s tone was rushed and tinged with desperation. “-She’s my twin.”

He didn’t say anything for a few minutes after that. The light had turned green, and cars on their lane were moving faster now. However, as he drove, he raked through his thoughts, making sure that all the conclusions he’d come to yesterday after meeting Hazel were logical.

Meanwhile, Marley sat stiffly in her seat, clutching her purse tightly. She kept glancing at him then at the window, as if she was contemplating jumping out of the car just so she could get away from him. Guilt racked Sebastian. He hated to see her so anxious.

For a second, he considered dropping the topic completely. However, he knew that putting off this talk would only lead to future misunderstandings. For their sake of the friendship, or whatever more it was, it was better to set the truth on the table and deal with it.

He waited until their lane slowed down again before turning back to Marley. “Marley, Hazel isn’t your twin sister, is she?”

Marley gasped sharply. Her already wide gaze widened until it almost seemed like her eyes were about to pop out of their sockets.

“You don’t have to answer,” Sebastian said softly. “I’m sure she isn’t.”

Yesterday, after dropping her home, he’d been mired in confusion. He had no idea what he was dealing with. Asking her ‘who are you’ had been a mere shot in the dark, and he hadn’t expected to get the otherworldly response she’d given.

Of course, he didn’t believe the ‘twin sisters’ story. It didn’t make sense. Too many things didn’t add up, and he couldn’t hypnotize himself into ignoring all the discrepancies in that story.

“I would’ve believed that she’s your twin sister if I wasn’t the one who took you to the hospital,” he continued. “But I did. And I saw you faint then her appear. The same thing happened when you came to my house. She was there first, and in the morning it was you. No twins can do that. You and Hazel aren’t twins. You’re the same person.”

His words were like lightning. They struck Marley and left her dumbstruck. All she could do was stare at him in terror. But now that Sebastian was on the roll, he couldn’t stop talking.

His tone thoughtful, he continued, “Which begs the question, if you’re the same person, then why would you lie about being twins?” He frowned. “I thought about it all of last night, and realized that it only means one thing. That you’re...”

His brain stuttered in its path and his words faded into silence. He couldn’t think of a way to tell her that he knew that she had a mental disorder without sounding offensive.

“That I’m – I’m sick,” Marley finished for him even as tears jumped to her eyes. As a tear rolled down her cheek, she lowered her gaze to her purse. “You’re- you’re right.”

Now that she’d acknowledged it, the next step should’ve been to ask her what she had. But she was now crying. The sudden stuffiness in Sebastian’s chest because of her obvious sadness forced him to reach over and stroke her hair.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Instead of soothing her, his words seemed to worsen everything. Her tears turned to silent sobs. Sebastian wanted to take his seatbelt off so he could hug her, but traffic was moving again. As he drove, he lowered his free hand down her arm to grab her fingers. His chest heavy as if someone was sitting on him, he squeezed her fingers.

Marley’s heartbreaking sniffles were the only sounds that filled the small space. Sebastian could only watch silently and helplessly as she cried. Now, he regretted bringing the subject up while they were in the car. Maybe they should have talked over dinner, or at least somewhere where he could console her like he wanted to and for as long as he wanted.

She calmed down some minutes later, but by then they were already driving into their company’s parking lot. Thankfully, his car had tinted windows and curios eyes couldn’t see what was going on inside.

As soon as he brought the car to a stop, he took off his seatbelt then helped her with hers. But neither of them got out of the car. He set his palm on her neck, stroking her warm skin as he watched her gather herself. Though her eyes were red and still a bit teary, she was still as pretty as ever.

“Are you- are you-” She asked, “Are you going t- to tell them?”

“Tell who?” He ran his thumb over her skin. “The company?”

Her eyes still lowered, she nodded.

“No,” he assured. “You don’t have to worry about me telling anyone else. This is just between you and me.”

Her shoulder rose and fell slowly in obvious relief.

“Are you okay to work?” He mentally kicked himself for not factoring in her state of mind. He should’ve known that talking about something like this would affect her ability to concentrate at work. He should’ve waited for evening to talk to her instead of confronting her just as she was going to work.

Guilt gnawing at him, he offered, “Should I authorize a day off for you?”

“N- no.” Marley shook her head. “I’m okay to work.”

“Are you sure?” Worry creased his brow.

She nodded then reached for the door handle. “Th- thank you for the ride.”

Before she could leave, he stopped her by grabbing her wrist. When she turned to him, he said, “I’m sorry.”

He didn’t even quite know what he was apologizing for. For asking her about her illness when it was quite clear she didn’t want to talk about it? For making her cry? For ruining the rest of her day?

God, he was an ass!

Marley didn’t say anything. With another nod, she got out of the car.