Don’t Let Me Break by Linda Verji

 

 

CHAPTER 20

 

Did I do the wrong thing? Marley spent the rest of the weekend agonizing over her decision to give Sebastian time to think. Sure, it would’ve been selfish of her to take him up on his offer to date immediately. But was being selfish just one time such a bad thing? All her life, she’d had the short end of the stick. She deserved a break like Sebastian.

What about him? The tiny voice in her head demanded. Don’t you care about what happens to him?

Yes, she did care, and that was the problem.

Marley wondered what would’ve happened if Hazel was in her position. What would Hazel do?

The answer was obvious.

Though Hazel also knew that they weren’t in any position to be in a relationship, she would’ve taken Sebastian up on his offer so fast that his head would spin. Caring about others wasn’t her forte, and only her pleasure counted. And for that, Marley envied her. If she were as self-centered as her alter, she’d be in a relationship.

Marley’s gaze slid from the screen of her computer up to the executives’ floor. From her desk, all she could see of Sebastian’s office was his closed door. Was he in there thinking of her too? After dropping her off at home on Saturday evening, they hadn’t talked at all. He hadn’t even called. Did that mean that he’d already made his decision?

“Who are you watching for?” Eugene cut into her thoughts.

Marley immediately turned her head to find her friend watching her over the partition that separated their desks. She stammered, “No one. I’m… I’m watching no one.”

Eugene tilted his head to study her then grinned. “You’re watching for Ben, aren’t you? I heard he’s on the warpath today.”

Immediately latching onto the handy excuse, Marley nodded.

“Good move. Avoid him if you can,” Eugene advised. “He’s picking on everyone.”

“I will,” Marley agreed.

“Hey, Zion told me to give you this.” He took a white box from the top of his desk and held it out to her. “It’s your share of the cake from Quinn’s party.”

“Thank you.” Marley took the box with a smile. She opened to box to find a large piece of black forest cake.

Honestly, she wasn’t a fan of sweet things. But there was no way to return the cake without looking ungrateful. Also, she couldn’t bring herself to throw it in the trash can, not when Quinn had been as kind as to save it for her. The only option was to give it to someone. But to who?

Sebastian. The moment his name came to mind, her muscles tensed up and her senses rejected the name. After the Saturday conversation and his subsequent silence, all she wanted to do was avoid him because she was scared to know what his decision was.

But she couldn’t stay scared forever.

When lunchtime came, she took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, grabbed the cake and headed up to the rooftop.

Sebastian wasn’t there. However, about ten minutes later, the door opened, and he emerged. As usual, he was carrying their lunch. The smile he gave her as he strode to her did little to ease the tension strumming at her nerves. Was he smiling because he didn’t want her to be nervous before he delivered the bad news? Or was he smiling because he was here to make her wish come true?

“Hey,” he greeted as he set the food on the table between them and settled opposite her. “Were you waiting for me?”

The stone in her throat kept her from talking so she nodded.

“Good.” His smile widened. “I was afraid you wouldn’t show up.”

I didn’t want to. She swallowed convulsively then forced herself to speak. “H- here.” She pushed the box of cake towards him. “Q- Quinn brought me- me cake but- but I don’t like it so- so I brought- brought it to you.”

Sebastian’s smile faded and was replaced by concern. “You’re nervous.”

Was it that obvious?

“Why?” He watched her. “Because of Saturday?”

Yes. She lowered her gaze.

He reached across the table to squeeze her closed fist. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

Immediately, she shook her head. “You- you didn’t- you didn’t make me uncomfortable.”

“Obviously, I did.” His tone was as gentle as his hold on her hand. “You can’t even look me in the eye.”

Marley forced herself to meet his gaze. Haltingly, she repeated, “You didn’t- you didn’t make me uncomfortable.”

“Then what is it?” He eased her fist open then interlaced her fingers with his. “Did you decide that you didn’t want to date me?”

“It’s- it’s not my decision to make.”

“Of course it is.” His gaze was firm and determined. “I know what I want. I want to date you. Now, the ball is in your court. It’s up to you to decide what you want so we can take it from there.”

So the weekend break hadn’t changed his mind? He still wanted to date her even after thinking things through? The elation that raced through Marley was indescribable. But that elation was tempered by disbelief.

“Are- are you sure this is what you want?” she asked. “Did you really- really think about everything I said?”

Instead of answering her, he chuckled.

She frowned. “What’s funny?”

“This is a first for me.” His eyes twinkled with amusement. “I’ve never met a woman who tried to get me out of dating them.”

She lowered her eyes to the table. “That’s because you’ve never dated a woman like me.”

With a sigh, Sebastian let go of her hand. He stood and circled the table to settle in the spot right next to her. The moment she felt his body heat, her senses crackled in awareness and her breath caught in her throat. His arm came around her waist. “I really hate that you’re doing this.”

Despite her intense awareness of his touch, she met his eyes. “Doing- doing what?”

“Why is it so hard for you to believe that I want to be with you? You make it seem like being with you will hurt me. But it won’t.” He brought his hand up to massage the back of her neck, sending shards of electricity through her. “Yeah, you have what you have, but you’re also kind, intelligent, pretty, and thoughtful. Any man would be lucky to be with you. I would be lucky to be with you.”

She started, “But what if-”

“No,” he cut her off with a firm shake of his head. “Let’s not think about the ‘what ifs’. Let’s focus on now and what we feel. How do you feel about me? Do you like me?”

“I already told you I did.”

“Then let’s concentrate on that,” he proposed. “Don’t be so caught up in all the things that might go wrong if we date. Give us a chance first then we’ll deal with whatever comes next.”

His pleading gaze, the tender note in his voice, and his touch on her nape melted her. It went straight to her heart to cut at all the reasons she had to stop him from dating her.

“Can you do that?” Desperation tinged his tone. “Can you give us a chance?”

Marley didn’t answer immediately. Worrying her bottom lip with her teeth, she watched him for a long minute as she thought over his proposal. Maybe he was right. Maybe she was over-thinking things. If he wasn’t afraid of the complications that came with being with her, then what was there to stop them?

Okay, then. Let’s do this. She took a breath and nodded.

Sebastian smiled. “Does that mean you’ll date me?”

She nodded again.

His smile bloomed into a full-on grin. “I need to hear the words, Marley.”

“I- I will.” She found her voice. “I’ll date you.”

“Good.” He laughed then seconds later, swooped down to cover her mouth with his.

His kiss was soft and tender, causing her to melt into it. She sighed softly, parting her lips for him. As his tongue met hers and stroked, all her doubts slowly melted until what seemed like a mountain just minutes before transformed into a mole-hill.

He was right. There was no point in fussing about the future. The present was more important. It was time to stop thinking and just feel.

She turned her upper body so that they were almost facing each other, then brought her hand up to his cheek. His light beard tickled her palm, sending fresh heat through her. As the kiss deepened, she kissed him back fervently, silently saying all she couldn’t with words. With her lips she told him just how much she wanted him too and how grateful she was that he hadn’t walked away like she’d asked him to.

Sebastian answered her passion with his. His kisses got more desperate by the second. His mouth devoured hers like he was trying to draw her into himself. His hold on her waist tightened as if he was trying to shackle her to his body. Only the need to breathe forced him to end the kiss.

“Thank you.” He punctuated the whispered words with soft pecks to her lips. “Thank you.”

What was he thanking her for? She should be the one thanking him. But thrill and disbelief that this was really happening held her throat tightly closed so she couldn’t say anything. All she did was cup his neck and bring him back to her for another kiss.

When they pulled away from each other, they were both smiling dazedly.

“I feel like I should’ve brought some wine to celebrate,” Sebastian said with a laugh. His arm was now around her shoulders, holding her in a side hug.

“We’re at work.” Marley smiled back. “It would’ve been odd if you showed up with wine.”

“You’re right.” He kissed her temple. “Then again, I wasn’t really planning to do this here but I was afraid you’d run away if I gave you too much time to think-”

A sudden growl cut into his words. The growl had come from Marley’s stomach.

She immediately pressed an arm to her tummy as mortification flushed through her. This was so embarrassing.

Sebastian grinned. “Okay, Marley. I hear you. You’re hungry.”

“No, I’m not,” she denied. Her stomach promptly rumbled again.

His grin turned into a laugh. However, after seeing her obvious embarrassment, he bent his head and pressed a kiss to her lips. His eyes still twinkling with amusement, he reached for the bag that held their food.

They set up the table and began to eat. Instead of starting with the tacos, Sebastian reached for the white box.

“You’re starting with cake?” Marley asked.

He nodded. “I prefer to start sweet and finish spicy.”

Though the statement sounded innocent, Marley could’ve sworn that there was a double-entendre in there. Sebastian’s smirk as he pushed his fork into the cake left no doubt that she was right. Blushing, she turned her attention to her own food.

“This tastes funny,” Sebastian brought her attention back to him and the cake. He was chewing with a frown.

“It does?”

“It’s sweet but bitter.” He stuck his fork in again. “I don’t know how to explain.”

As if to test his hypothesis, he took another bite.

“Then stop eating it,” she suggested.

“But you brought it for me.” He smiled. “It’s your first gift to me.”

Nope! Marley didn’t want this cake to count as her first gift to him. One, because it had come from someone else. Two, because his expression as he took another bite said that he wasn’t enjoying it all.

“Stop.” She closed the box on him then pushed it away. “Please.”

But he’d already taken too many bites. Ten, maybe fifteen, minutes later, his whole expression changed. He became paler, sweat broke on his forehead and he began to swallow convulsively. He did not look well.

Concerned, Marley turned to him. “What’s wrong?”

“I-” He pressed a hand to his throat then coughed repeatedly. Sounding chocked, he said, “I don’t kn-” His words were cut off by a sudden heave as if he wanted to vomit.

Her worry multiplying, she grabbed his upper arm. “Come on. Let’s go see the doctor.”

She stood. Sebastian tried to stand too but he only rose halfway before collapsing back on the bench. Turning away from her, he heaved again. As if to keep from vomiting, he pressed the back of his hand to his mouth. “I- I- don’t feel good.”

Marley’s brain immediately went to panic mode. What should I do? What should I do? In an instant, she felt dizzy and nauseous. What should I do?

Let Hazel handle this, you idiot! The voice in her head said.

Normally, Marley would’ve listened to that voice. But this was Sebastian. She couldn’t abandon him now. She shook her head to clear it. I need to call the doctor. I need to call the doctor. I need to save Sebastian.

She grabbed her phone. With trembling fingers, she scrolled through her phone book. It was hard to see because her eyes were cloudy and itching to close, but she forced herself to see past the haze. Finally, she found the in-house doctor’s number. He picked on the first ring.

“Dr. Hill?” Her voice shook with her panic.

Sebastian was now sitting with his hands on his thighs, his head bent and his eyes closed as if he was willing himself not to throw up.

“Yes, this is Dr. Hill,” the doctor responded calmly.

“Could you come up to the rooftop?” She sat back down and stroked Sebastian’s back with her free hand. “There’s an emergency.”

“What kind of emergency,” the doctor asked. From the shuffling in the background, she could tell that he was already on the move.

“It’s Mr- Mr. Levy.” Haltingly, she explained his symptoms and his condition.

A few minutes later, the door to the rooftop opened and Dr. Hill and his assistant, Cherry appeared. Everything happened in a flash from that second on. The doctor and Cherry administering first aid to Sebastian, Marley calling nine-one-one while fighting her need to fade….

Less than ten minutes, the sounds of an ambulance rang below and soon paramedics stormed into the scene. Their arrival had attracted attention and several of the company’s employees followed them up to the rooftop.

If it were any other time, Marley would’ve been intensely aware of all those people. Their questions about what was happening would’ve driven her closer to collapsing and letting her alter take her place. But today all she could focus on was Sebastian. His eyes were closed tightly as they loaded him onto the stretcher, and he was so grayishly pale that it almost looked like he was on his deathbed.

Marley followed the paramedics as they took him down the stairs. At the lobby, several people were gathered. Through the side of her eye, Marley saw Leslie among the crowd. If it were another day, the woman’s presence would’ve sent her into an immediate panic. But it was different today. Within a second of seeing the woman, Marley erased her from her thoughts. Only Sebastian mattered.

The paramedics rushed outside and loaded him into the ambulance.

If she were her normal self, Marley would’ve just watched silently as the ambulance drove away with him. But today, she found herself edging towards the paramedics.

She offered, “Can I- Can I come- come with you?”

“Who are you?” One of the medics asked impatiently.

Girlfriend? She couldn’t say that with all their coworkers watching. Frantically, she searched for a good excuse then said, “I- I was with him when it- it started. I can- I can- give information.”

The paramedics traded looks then one of them nodded. “Get in.”