Don’t Let Me Break by Linda Verji

 

 

CHAPTER 6

 

To Hazel’s surprise and utter delight, she woke up after just three hours, not two or more years later as she expected. Apparently, Marley wasn’t ready to come back yet. Hallelujah!

Predictably, Kenny was upset.

“Go get showered.” Kenny tossed a t-shirt and jeans on Marley’s bed. “I’ve booked an appointment for three p.m. with Dr. Hayward.”

Hazel, who was lying on the bed, didn’t even look up from the game she was playing on Kenny’s phone. “Who is Dr. Hayward?”

“Marley’s therapist.”

Hazel snorted. “I’m not going to see any therapist.”

“You have to,” Kenny insisted. “Otherwise-”

“Otherwise what?” Hazel looked up to meet her sister’s eyes. “Otherwise, Marley won’t come back?”

Kenny didn’t say anything, but it was obvious that that was exactly what she meant.

“You do realize that I’m the last person in the world who would want Marley to come back, right?” Hazel’s lips crooked in a mocking smile. “Why would I screw myself over by visiting someone who can bring her back?”

Panic written in her expression, Kenny said, “The fact that she’s not here means that you’re all sick.”

“Uh uh. It means that she’s sick,” Hazel corrected. “I’m doing fine. Actually, I’m doing great.” She stretched her arms upwards and yawned. “In fact, I feel like a million dollars.”

“Come on, Hazel.” Kenny crossed the room to come and sit at the foot of the bed. “You have to see a therapist.”

Hazel’s eyebrows shot up. “Says who?”

“Haaazel,” Kenny pleaded.

“I won’t see a therapist.” Hazel’s tone was as hard as her expression. “If Marley wants to come back, then she’s going to have to do it the hard way. By herself.”

Kennedy kept pleading, but Hazel was a rock. She was unmoved. If Marley wanted to keep hiding, then good for all of them. Hazel wasn’t going to kick fortune in the face by forcing her out.

Besides, if there was anything Hazel hated more than hospitals, it was therapists. Their understanding expressions and caring voices only hid their true agenda… to get rid of her forever. She may not be the smartest crayon in the box, but she definitely wasn’t dumb enough to walk herself to the abattoir.

In the end, Kenny gave up.

“It’s okay.” Almost talking to herself, Kenny mumbled, “I already called her office and asked for a day off.”

“Aw, why did you do that?” Hazel pouted. “I wanted to see where we work now.”

Kenny sighed. “If Marley doesn’t come back by Monday, you might get to see it.”

Actually, Hazel wasn’t really interested in Marley’s job. She was more interested in seeing Marley’s boss again. Sebastian Levy! Damn, he was fine. Today was Friday. That meant that Hazel had to hang on for at least three more days to see that Sebastian guy again. Hazel doubted she could do it, but she would certainly try her darndest.

Kenny asked, “You still remember how to edit videos, right?”

“Remember? Girl, please!” Hazel guffawed. “May I remind you that I was way, way better than Marley at it. Every assignment I submitted got a ‘genius, original and unique’ comment to go along with the A, while the work your precious Marley submitted was average at best.”

Kenny immediately came to Marley’s defense. “That’s only because she was going through some stuff.”

“Whatever!” Hazel mocked. “I’m still better at her job than she is.”

If Hazel had her choice, they would be in front of the camera right now, not behind it. They’d be singers, actors or maybe even Internet stars. Unfortunately, this body belonged to Marley which meant that she made all the choices.

When Marley was in college, Hazel had appeared more times than in any other period of their life because Marley was going through a serious depressive phase. Kenny had convinced Hazel to attend her classes in exchange for freedom when Marley had no classes. Despite having zero interest in the course and sleeping during most classes, Hazel had discovered that she had an aptitude for editing. If Marley decided to never return, Hazel was confident that she could take over her life perfectly.

“You’ll still have to learn about the people she works with and the projects she’s currently working on.” Kenny moved to the vanity table and grabbed Marley’s laptop. She settled on the bed with it and turned it on. “Marley’s been recording daily vlogs just in case you came back.”

“You want me to watch her daily vlogs?” Hazel was horrified. “That’s two years worth of vlogs. That’s over six hundred videos. I can’t watch them all.”

“You won’t have to,” Kenny soothed even as she typed in the laptop’s password. “Every six months, she does a summary of everything you need to know. Her most recent summary was just a week ago. So you just need to watch those five summary vlogs plus the ones she did this week.”

What Kenny didn’t say was that each summary vlog was about thirty minutes long, and the daily ones would take another half hour to watch. That meant that Hazel would have to spend three hours watching a breakdown of Marley’s life… the world’s most boring movie.

Eyeing Kenny with disbelief, Hazel complained, “You know this is a lot of work, right?”

“I know.” Kenny pleaded, “But you’ll do it, right?”

“On one condition.” Hazel proposed. “If I watch this, then I get the rest of the afternoon and the evening to myself,”

Instant suspicion filled Kenny’s expression. “To do what?”

Hazel grinned. “That’s for me to know and for you to worry about.”

Kenny scoffed. “Then no deal.”

“Okay. Your choice.” Hazel handed back the laptop. “But on Monday when I go to work for Marley, I won’t know anyone or anything. I’ll end up making a fool of Marley, and everyone will know that she’s crazy.”

Kenny scowled. “Are you threatening me?”

“Isn’t that obvious?” Hazel guffawed. “Of course I’m threatening you.”

It was clear that Kenny didn’t want to give in to Hazel’s demands, but the helpless look in her eye said that she knew she had no choice.

Feeling a little sorry for her sister, Hazel added, “Don’t worry. I won’t do anything crazy. Just a little window-shopping, maybe ice-cream then I might visit a club or two. I’ll be back in the house by midnight… Cinderella-style.”

“Then I’ll go with you,” Kenny quickly offered.

“Today is Friday. It’s your busiest day,” Hazel reminded her. “I promise, I’ll be really good.”

If they were younger, Kenny would’ve refused. But Hazel had matured over the years and become more responsible.

With a sigh, Kenny nodded. “Fine, if you watch all those, you can have the rest of the day to yourself.”

“Great!” Hazel immediately navigated to the first video. The sooner she watched Marley’s crap, the earlier she could get out of the house. To her sister, she ordered, “Go get me some popcorn and wine.”

Instead of leaving, Kenny asked, “Will you visit Grandma while you’re out?”

Instantly, Hazel’s insides curled into a tight knot and fury raced through her. Her voice tight, she asked, “Why would I visit that old bat?”

“Don’t call her an old bat,” Kenny scolded. However, there was no real acrimony in her tone because even she knew that Hazel had a reason to be angry with their grandmother, Cece Carter. Her voice soft, Kenny added, “Just in case you want to visit her, I’ll leave her address on the coffee-table in the living room before I go to work.”

“Don’t waste your time,” Hazel retorted. Still glowering, she pressed play on the first vlog.

 

* * * * *

 

ABOUT AN HOUR later, Kenny left for work. However, before leaving she made sure to give Hazel the password to Marley’s phone and some pocket money to spend while out.

The moment Hazel was done with Marley’s vlogs, she gleefully raided Kenny’s closet. Unlike Marley, Kenny was stylish, and her clothes were a fashion connoisseur’s fantasy. Hazel picked out a black, body-con dress that stopped mid-thigh and red, fringed stilettos. By Marley’s standards, it was a scandalous outfit. Hazel grinned. Well, she’d definitely find something scandalous to do in it.

Instead of immediately wearing the outfit, Hazel stuffed it into a leather tote. She put on one of Marley’s boring t-shirts, a pair of jeans, and sneakers. She had no idea why she did that. It just happened. However an hour later, it became clear that her subconscious (or Marley) had tricked her.

Despite her intentions to never see their grandmother again for the rest of her life, Hazel found herself at the gates of Vincent Carson Senior Living Community. She stood there for quite a while, asking herself what the hell she was even doing here. She tried to turn back and leave but somehow her feet dragged her right into the estate.

Vincent Carson looked more like a country estate than a nursing home. The long driveway was flanked by perfectly manicured lawns, flower beds and fountains. White benches were scattered everywhere where there was a tree. Most of these benches were occupied by the residents and their nurses and/or guardians.

Up ahead was a two-storey English-style manor complete with limestone walls, steepled roof, several chimneys, and large picture windows. The large sign-board above its front door declared as the administration block. Surrounding the manor were several smaller buildings and cottages that were obviously meant to house the residents.

Hazel made her way to the administration block. Once she identified herself as Cece Carter’s granddaughter, Marley, the nurse made a call. Soon their grandmother’s caregiver, Vivica, came downstairs to meet her.

Vivica was a middle-aged, hefty, black woman with big hair and an even bigger personality. She was bubbly… very bubbly. She filled their walk to Cece’s room with empty chatter. Normally, Hazel would’ve been just as chatty. However, she could only give one-word answers because of the weird lump blocking her throat. As they got closer to Cece’s room, Hazel got even quieter. The dread bubbling in the pit of her stomach intensified.

“We’re here,” Vivica announced when they got to Cece’s room. She knocked on the door once then opened it.

The room they entered seemed more like someone’s bedroom rather than a room in a nursing home. The pretty sage green gingham drapes that covered the sole window in the room were the perfect complement to the white comforter atop the queen-sized bed and the gray sheepskin rug beside the bed.

The light gray walls were filled with artwork and pictures of Cece’s family including Kenny, Marley, their mother and their father. Adjacent to the bed was a small sitting area with a couch and a TV. Cece was seated on that couch, watching a sermon by a popular televangelist.

Even at eighty-seven, Cece Carter was a striking woman who took care of herself. Hair turned gray by time but still perfectly coifed, dark skin wrinkled but still shiny and sinuous, eyebrows perfectly arched, a faint touch of lipstick, clip-on earrings, slim petite figure, purple and black dress that stopped just below her knees, kitten heels... perfection. She looked like someone who was on her way to Sunday service. And that was how she’d always looked.

Hazel couldn’t remember a time when her grandmother wasn’t perfectly coiffed. Even during Gary’s funeral, she’d been unemotional and totally composed. She never even shed a tear. At first, Hazel had thought that it was because she knew that her son was trash and didn’t deserve anyone’s tears. But over the years, it had become clear that that’s just who Cece was. She was always cool, calm and collected. Being composed was the façade she’d built to make the world believe that she had a normal family when all of them were anything but normal.

“Cece!” Vivica called as they stepped into the room. “You have a guest.”

“Who?” Cece immediately turned from the TV. When she saw Hazel, she smiled. “Cynthia, you finally came.”

Oops! Hazel immediately realized that her grandmother was having one of her ‘moments’. Five years ago, Cece had been diagnosed with dementia. Obviously, the disease still had her firmly in its grasp.

“I’m not Cynthia,” Hazel corrected. “She’s my mom. I’m Marley.”

“Marley?” Dazed confusion filled the older woman’s eyes. “But Marley’s just five-years-old. You’re Cynthia.”

Hazel started, “No, I’m-”

“Don’t.” Vivica grabbed her wrist to stop her from talking. “It’s better to just go along with it when she’s like this. Otherwise, she gets agitated.”

Frankly, Hazel didn’t give a damn whether Cece got agitated or not. The only reason Hazel could even bear to be around the woman was because some part of her was still attached to the idea that Cece was family. But that didn’t mean that she’d forgiven Cece for how she’d treated her. Dementia and a little agitation was just a fragment of the punishment that the woman deserved.

Still, Hazel hadn’t come here for drama. So reluctantly, she agreed, “Okay, I guess I’m Cynthia then.”

“You look tired, Cynthia.” Cece patted the spot beside her. “Come and sit down.”

Hazel shuffled over to the couch and sat down with her bag on her lap. Meanwhile, Vivica gave a wave and a short, “I’ll just be outside if you need anything,” before dashing out the door.

“Isn’t it too late for you to be here?” Cece asked Hazel. “Gary will get very angry at you if you don’t cook for him on time.”

The mention of their father was enough to send fury rushing through Hazel, and she curtly retorted, “Then let him get angry.”

“No.” Cece slapped her arm. “You know how he gets when he’s angry.”

Hazel snorted. “Oh, you mean how he gets violent and beats me.”

The harsh words made Cece pause. She was silent for quite some time before she softly said, “You know, he really loves you, right?”

Hazel snapped. “That’s a load of crap and you know it!”

“No, no. He really loves you,” Cece insisted. “He just doesn’t know how to show it in the right way. His father was like that too.”

Hazel could only snort at that. Age and disease hadn’t changed Cece. She was still the same woman who had a defense for every vile act that her husband and only child committed. After Cece had taken custody of the kids, she’d done everything to convince them that their father was a good man with a few flaws here and there, and that their mother was an evil seductress. It didn’t work, but she certainly tried.

Cece continued, “Actually, Gary was here the other day.”

“Was he?” Hazel almost rolled her eyes. Clearly, the dementia was in full control today.

“I told him to stop being so mean to you-” Cece leaned closer to whisper. “- or you and the girls will kill him again.”

Again? Hazel frowned. Was Cece mixing up the past and the present?

Sudden panic filled Cece’s expression, and she grabbed Hazel’s wrist tightly. “You won’t kill him again, will you?”

Despite her age, the older woman’s grip was pretty strong. Her nails dug into Hazel’s skin painfully. Wincing, Hazel twisted her arm around to get it out of Cece’s grasp. “No, I won’t.”

“Good. Good.” Relieved, Cece let go of Hazel’s wrist. Now smiling again, she asked, “How are the girl’s anyway?”

“How do you think they are?” Still smarting from the pain of having her wrist grabbed and squeezed, Hazel mocked, “They have to live with that psycho son of yours.”

The acerbic response flew right over Cece’s head. The older woman continued, “I talked to Reverend Samson about Marley. He said to bring her over after Sunday service. He’ll get that devil out of her.”

The fury that immediately shot through Hazel was indescribable. She saw red as memories of her childhood tumbled in.

Hazel had been born just before Marley turned five. Predictably, no one understood what was going on with Marley. Worse, therapy was a no-no in the Carter household because they weren’t dumb enough to let the kid spill any of the Carters’ horrid secrets to an outsider. So Cece went with the obvious. Marley was possessed.

Gary wasn’t a religious or superstitious person so he’d rejected that hypothesis. To him, Hazel was fake, and Marley was just putting on a show to rebel against him. He hadn’t done anything other than try to beat Hazel into turning back to Marley. However, after his death and Cynthia’s incarceration, Cece had a license to deal with Hazel as she wished.

At first it was prayers and attempted exorcisms by pastors, reverends, priests… even an imam. When the conventional route didn’t work, Cece dived headfirst into the occult. The number of mumblings, whippings and curses that Hazel endured courtesy of Cece’s witch-doctors and bootleg traditional priests were innumerable. If it wasn’t for Kenny finally standing up to the grandmother and insisting on psychiatric treatment, Hazel would still be on that awful rollercoaster.

Yes, Hazel knew that their grandmother had only done all that because of ignorance and a misguided attempt at treating them. However, she still couldn’t find it in her heart to forgive the old woman. She still remembered the horror and fear that shadowed her every time she had to visit their caverns too clearly. She still remembered the rage that eclipsed her every time they called her a demon and demanded that she disappear.

That fury forced her to her feet. “I’m leaving.”

“Already? But you haven’t even stayed for long.” Cece rose to her feet. “I’ll make you some tea.”

“Save it.” Without even looking back, Hazel started for the door.

It had been a mistake to come here, she thought as she angrily marched out of the building. Why in the world had she wanted to see that old heifer when all she’d ever done was treat her like a demon? What a waste of a good afternoon.

Thankfully, she still had the evening to make up for that shitty afternoon. Hiking the tote-bag that held her scandalous outfit higher up her shoulder, she headed out of the estate. She was about to paint the city hazel.