Forbidden Romance by Lena Lucas

3

Willow

Ispent the next half hour working on paperwork for the club, but my heart and mind weren’t really in it. I couldn't focus and continuously kept thinking about Colton and how he made me feel, what I wanted with him, and then of course the fear of actually coming clean about my emotions.

My eyes had a mind of their own, and though I was diligently organizing the invoices for some of the club’s legitimate and legal business ventures, I found myself glancing out the huge picture window that let out to the main sitting area of the club.

The clubhouse had originally been a lodge, somewhere you’d see hunters or even skiers go. Nestled away from town and surrounded by wilderness, it gave everyone a chance to have privacy. This part of the clubhouse, which I did all the paperwork in, wasn’t part of the main structure and had been added a couple of years after the MC purchased the place. Hence the large window that let me see into the main part of the clubhouse.

My gaze instantly landed on Colton, who I could see was sitting in one of the chairs in front of the fire. A few of the patches sat around him, Colton leaning forward, his forearms resting on his massive, muscular thighs as he stared into the flames. He held another square glass of whiskey, and whatever the other members told him had the president in deep thought.

But then his shoulders stiffened, and he glanced over at me, as if he felt my gaze on him. I snapped my attention back to the paperwork, my face once again on fire. Damn the fact that I was an open book anyone could read by looking at my blushing face.

I found myself glancing up again, using the long fall of my drying dark hair as a sort of curtain, a shield. The way he looked at me was unrestrained and ravenous… and I knew without a doubt this wasn’t all in my head, wasn’t a fantasy.

He wanted me.

That had my heart racing and my hands shaking. I looked away again, staring at the papers strewn across the scarred and faded wooden table, my mouth suddenly dry. There was no other way for me to wrap my head around this. There was no way I could talk myself out of the reality.

He did want me.

The burning look in his eyes whenever he stared at me.

The possession, the obsession that I felt he had toward me, which I always played off as just being protective.

No… Colton wanted me.

But he’d never said anything. Maybe he felt like it would cross lines, given his position and who my father was? That made the most logical sense, but still, I knew he probably wouldn’t be the one to make the first move. He was old school in things like that, I had to guess.

But the truth was, my father would have wanted me to be happy, even if that was with Colton, who would probably think being with me would be some kind of betrayal.

But I was scared of telling him anything, even after this revelation. What if he wasn’t ready? What if he didn’t want to be with me yet? What if. What if. What if.

Insecurities plagued my mind and stressed me out even more, casting doubt all around me. And then I thought back to how Colton never brought women around, never paid an ounce of attention to any the other members brought by. He never spoke about seeing with someone and was always too engrossed in club business. My heart stung at the thought of Colton looking at any other woman the way he looked at me. But I knew he only had eyes for me. I felt that deep in every part of me.

Because the ferocity at which he gazed at me was irreplaceable. He was obsessed with me, and only me.

That was never clearer than it was right now, when I realized it all.

Had he realized the same truth about my feelings toward him so long ago?

My mind drifted off into a fantasy of him looking at me in that very possessive way of his, using his big, hard body to push me against the wall, his hands on either side of my head as he caged me in and leaned in close. God, his mouth would be so close to mine, an inch away from kissing me.

I actually closed my eyes and let myself get lost in the image that played through my head like a movie reel.

I sensed Colton had a dark, delicious side to him, one that called to the very core of my femininity, one that made me want to submit in his bed and let him do whatever he wanted to me. I felt like he had so many alpha tendencies, so much hardcore passion than he knew what to do with, and I wanted all of it to be focused on me. I felt like he had this feral savage beast lurking inside, one that could never be tamed, never be leashed. I wanted to be the one he let it free on. I wanted to be the one who took that brutal passion in all its intensity.

Colton would never intentionally hurt me, and yet… I wanted him to. God, I wanted to feel how far he’d go, how far I could push him. Would my virginity deter him? I snorted, thinking along the lines that he already wanted me and there was nothing holding him back.

For all I knew, there was a barricade inside him that refused to move to get to me.

I wanted him to use every last inch of me, fill me up so deep, stretch me so wide that my body had to work just to accommodate his massive length. A shiver wracked my body at that thought, at the image that slammed into my head. So… erotic. I wanted Colton to mark me, to leave proof that I was his, so that if anyone looked upon me, they’d know who I was with.

I opened my eyes and blinked a few times before sighing, getting back to the task at hand because having filthy fantasies sure as hell wouldn’t help my situation right now.

I had to tell him how I felt. I couldn’t hold myself back any longer. It was getting painful to be around him with my emotions so strong, suffocating me, because I’d never let them breathe.

Today felt like as good a day as any to tell Colton that I was in love with him.

I didn’t know how things would play out or what his reaction would be, but I knew not telling him would get me absolutely nowhere.

This had the potential to be the most important moment of my life, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to mess it up.