There With You by Samantha Young
Regan
Arrochar’s house was a midcentury bungalow in a well-kept, well-designed residential area a few blocks from Castle Street. The first time she’d brought me to her house for coffee, I was surprised, expecting her to be living it up in a stylish, modern home like Lachlan and Thane.
I knew (didn’t everyone?) that the middle sibling, Brodan Adair, was a famous Hollywood actor. Not that I’d say this to Robyn, but I thought he was an even better actor than Lachlan. My soon-to-be brother-in-law was great at the action-hero stuff. He really sold it, and he’d been seriously fun to watch beating up bad guys. Brodan, while he’d started out in similar style movies, had branched into more serious roles. And the man could act. Also, he was probably the most classically handsome of the Adair brothers. Lots of people got Brodan Adair mixed up with the guy who played Captain America.
Between the celebrities in the family, Lachlan’s and Thane’s large, contemporary homes, and Ardnoch Castle itself, I kind of got wrapped up in the idea of the Adairs as lairds and lady of the manor.
Arro shot that vibe to hell. In a good way. She was a forest engineer and did not rely on her growing inheritance (thanks to Lachlan’s successful turnaround of their family estate) or their reputation as pillars of Ardnoch society. Low-key, funny, sharp, and kind, Arro was as down-to-earth as they came.
And she loved her family.
That was evident as I walked into her house holding Lewis’s hand while Thane carried Eilidh. The smell of food made my stomach twinge with hunger. A glance in the large dining room revealed a beautifully laid table for the birthday celebrations. We strolled into a living room filled with blue and silver streamers and balloons that made Eilidh antsy with excitement in her father’s arms.
Sitting around the living room were Lachlan, Robyn, Mac, and Eredine. We were the last to arrive because two seconds out the door, Eilidh wanted to change her dress. She decided it wasn’t her prettiest dress and she should wear her prettiest dress for her daddy since it was his birthday party. There were tears. Unable to resist her adorable reasoning, I’d hurried her into the house so we could put her in her favorite dress.
Which was the unicorn dress I’d bought her for Halloween, minus the wings and headband.
Today wasn’t actually either of their birthdays. Lachlan was thirty-nine on Tuesday, and Thane’s thirty-eighth was the following Monday.
“Hi, all,” Thane greeted everyone. “Eilidh, go say an early happy birthday to Uncle Lachlan.” He lowered her to the floor.
Lachlan was sitting in the snuggle armchair with Robyn. It was cozy. Eilidh thought so too. She lunged at them like a bat and landed on her uncle’s chest.
“Oh, f—” He cut off the obvious curse word as he caught her, his eyes closed in pain.
“She hit the family jewels, huh?” Robyn teased, her lips twitching with the urge to laugh.
Amusement bubbled inside me as Lachlan’s eyes popped open and he glared at his fiancée. All the while he cuddled his niece. “Not funny,” he mouthed.
“Uncle Lachlan, I wore my unicorny dress for you,” Eilidh announced as she cupped his face in her hands.
His expression softened. “And you look beautiful, angel.”
“I thought you wore it for me?” her dad teased as he gestured for Lewis to follow him to the end of the sectional.
“I wore it for you, too, Daddy.” Eilidh looked worried he’d think otherwise.
Lewis didn’t let go of my hand.
Thane’s brow furrowed as he lounged down beside Eredine. “Come sit, buddy.”
Instead, Lew looked up at me. I flushed with the awkwardness. While Thane had been in a horrible mood with me all week, he’d been civil in front of the kids. If the kids were there, he at least talked to me. If the kids weren’t there, then I got monosyllabic grunts in lieu of conversation.
Lewis … it was like he sensed something was going on, and he’d gotten a little clingy lately.
“Go sit with your dad, honey.” I led him toward Thane, but he gripped my hand harder, and I stopped.
“Lewis?” Thane asked.
Everyone grew quiet, making it extra awkward.
“There’s no room for Ree-Ree.” Lewis glowered at his dad.
“Oh, I’ll move up.” Eredine smiled sweetly and moved closer to Arro and Mac on the couch.
Avoiding my sister’s questioning gaze, I sat, Lewis nestled between me and Thane. Eilidh became aware two of her favorite people were sitting together on the couch and launched herself off Lachlan and at Mac and Arro.
I turned to Eredine. “Hey, I haven’t seen you all week. How you doing?”
My friend shrugged. “It’s been really quiet at the estate. It usually is this time of year and then it picks up again around Christmas.”
That was not really what I asked, but I didn’t expect any other answer. While Eredine was sweet, and a fantastic listener, she was guarded and closed off and most definitely difficult to get to know. Outside of the Adairs, she didn’t seem to have any real friends here in Scotland. Eredine was a giant mystery. Even more so when I realized why she was so familiar.
When I was around seventeen, eighteen, I followed a lot of social media influencers. One of them was a freestyle dancer who posted videos of her solos and sometimes group dances. They did a lot of pop-up performances in public places. Her online name was Cadenza, and she had around two million followers. One day she just stopped posting, I stopped following, and I never thought much about it again.
However, Eredine Willows was Cadenza’s spitting image. I knew it was a coincidence because no one else noted it, and honestly, Eredine was nothing like Cadenza in personality. Cadenza had a cocky confidence that was extremely attractive; Eredine was the opposite. Shy, reserved.
Robyn told me Eredine was always guarded, but the Lucy situation had made her throw up barriers a mile high. I could see that. And I was patient. I was following Robyn’s footsteps and not bulldozing my way into her life. For Eredine, we had to be stealthy. Slow and steady would win that race.
We sat around chatting for a while and then seeing the kids were getting antsy, Arro clapped her hands and announced it was time to eat. Everyone offered to help her in the kitchen, but we waved the guys off since it was their birthdays. The women found themselves alone in the kitchen.
I noted the gender division. “Let’s not make a habit of this, or they might get ideas.”
Robyn snorted. “They know us well enough by now not to make us into the ‘little ladies.’ Lachlan wouldn’t want to, anyway. He likes me—”
“Stop.” Arro put a hand up near her face, and Eredine and I laughed at Robyn’s stunned look. “He is my brother, and as far as I’m concerned, my brothers are as chaste as monks.”
“I wasn’t going to say anything dirty.” Robyn raised an eyebrow as we followed Arro’s lead around the kitchen. “Unlike some people”—she shot me a look—“I am a lady.”
I guffawed. “What did I do?”
“You always provide too much information.”
“Ooh, about who?” Arro asked. “Do you have your eye on someone?”
I wanted to shoot my sister a killing look, but I knew that would be too obvious. “No. Robyn’s talking about past boyfriends.”
“Well, good luck here, anyway.” Arro made a face. “Living in a small village doesn’t exactly make it easy to meet someone. Look at me. Look at Thane.”
She didn’t say look at Eredine, but I knew we were all thinking it.
“Speaking of my brother,” Arro said to me as I followed her into the dining room with the huge bowl of roast potatoes, “is something wrong between you two? I sense a distinct chill.”
I shrugged off her comment like it was nonsense, giving her one of my breezy smiles. “Not at all. We’re great.”
She narrowed her eyes like she didn’t quite believe me. “Guess I was wrong, then.”
Deciding that a week was enough time for this nonsense between me and Thane to have gone on, I knew I’d have to chat with him and clear the air. To be honest, his behavior had put a damper on my feelings. It was illuminating to see how much of an asshole he could be. I was done trying to be understanding about his position in all this.
Despite Thane’s determination to treat me like I didn’t exist, dinner was great fun. Food was involved, so it meant Eilidh sat still throughout the whole thing and enjoyed being the center of attention. Lewis insisted on sitting next to me at the table, so I spent a good part of the meal talking with him about the video game he was playing with his friends online during the hours he was allowed. He was irritated because his friends’ parents let them play longer than he was permitted, and they kept wanting to play this particular game without him. To distract him from his irritation, I asked him to explain the entire game to me.
He did. In detail. And I loved him so I tried not to die of boredom.
At one point, I glanced up from our discussion to find Thane watching us with a furrow between his brows. He looked away as soon as our eyes met.
After dinner, it was gift-giving time, and I experienced a brief flutter of nervousness in my belly. I’d helped the kids pick out their gift to their dad, but I’d bought Thane something just from me a few weeks ago. When we were still friends. I wasn’t sure how I felt about giving it to him now.
Especially in front of everyone.
We settled in the living room, Eilidh tucked on Thane’s lap because she was a little sleepy after the food, and Lewis by my side. Lachlan opened his gifts first.
Robyn had given him a photo I’d taken under her direction down on the beach. It was a gorgeous black-and-white headshot of her looking at the water. She’d almost backed out of the gift, thinking it was cheesy and vain, but I’d convinced her to stick with it. Sourcing a frame that matched the interior of his office at work, she added the photo and wrapped it.
I was nervous for her because I could tell by the way she was biting her lip that she still had doubts. When Lachlan opened it, he just stared at it. She shifted uncomfortably in the large armchair beside him.
“It’s … I thought you could put it in your office or something … but it seems stupid now. I—”
“I love it.” He turned to smolder at her, and I felt a mix of happiness and envy. Once again, I couldn’t help but think how amazing it would be to have a guy love me like Lachlan loved Robyn. But deep down, I didn’t believe that would ever happen. A guy might love me … but not like that. Robyn was the kind of woman who inspired that kind of love.
“You do?” She still seemed unsure.
“You’re beautiful.” He stared at the picture. “I love it,” he repeated, and then frowned. “But who took it?”
“Regan.”
He smiled at me with his eyes. “You captured her perfectly.”
I grinned. “I know.”
Lachlan laughed softly and then leaned into Robyn to brush a kiss across her mouth. “Later,” he murmured, but we all heard him.
“Speaking of … I have another gift for you, but—” Robyn smirked at me, mischief in her gaze. “I left it in the bedroom.”
While the adults groaned at the insinuation, I smiled so hard my cheeks hurt. “It doesn’t bother me like it bothers you. But I appreciate the effort.”
“Damn you.” She narrowed her eyes, trying not to laugh.
“I have no idea what’s going on.” Lachlan turned to Thane for answers.
He shrugged. “Don’t look at me.”
“Just sister stuff,” Robyn assured Lachlan.
“So … is there another present in the bedroom?” He raised his eyebrows in expectation.
“Isn’t there every day?”
Lachlan grinned. “Yes. My mistake.”
Robyn gave him a sassy nod. “You know it. But yeah, there is actually another present in the bedroom.”
“Is it a cuddly toy?” Eilidh asked.
Shooting my sister a look for speaking in innuendo in front of the kids, she blanched and smiled apologetically before turning to Eilidh. “Yeah, sweetie. That’s exactly right.”
“I want to see!”
“Some other time, Eils.” Thane cuddled her close. “It’s Uncle Lachlan’s present, remember.”
“Right, well.” Mac stood and handed over a tall, slim gift bag to Lachlan and another to Thane. “What do you get the men who have everything?”
It turned out expensive whisky, which they both were extremely happy about.
More gifts were shared. Lachlan got a tie from me, a sweater from Arro, a kilt pin from Eredine, and new earbuds and an arm strap for his phone from the kids so he could listen to his music while running. It was Lewis’s idea, I informed Lachlan, and his nephew couldn’t look more pleased by how “chuffed” his uncle was.
Lastly, Thane gave his brother a compass.
“It was Dad’s. Do you remember? He said it belonged to our great-great-grandfather. I found it in the attic a few months ago when I was clearing stuff out. A guy in Inverness restored it.”
The gift obviously blew Lachlan away, and the brothers did that guy thing where they were all gruff about their emotions and battered each other on the back when they hugged to lessen the sentimentality of it all.
It was kind of adorable.
And then it was Thane’s turn. He got a matching kilt pin from Eredine (which I thought was cute), a different sweater from Lachlan’s from Arro, a swanky beard grooming kit from Robyn, and a fancy watch from Lachlan.
“For your new start back at work. Turn it over,” his brother said.
Thane did so and read, “NovisInitiis.”
“New beginnings,” Lachlan explained.
As he looked at his brother, Thane’s eyes brightened. Something only they seemed to understand passed between them. “It’s great. Thank you.”
Now my gift seemed weird in comparison. Instead of handing over the entire gift bag, I delved into it and took out the present from the kids. I gave it to Lewis to give to Thane.
“Happy Birthday, Dad.” Lewis hopped off the couch to lean into his dad’s legs. “It was my idea.”
“Mine too!” Eilidh frowned deeper than any human had ever frowned before. She turned to her father with that ferocious scowl. “Mine too, Daddy.”
Thane kissed her forehead. “I know, Eilidh-Bug. Now let’s have a look and see what it is.”
“It’s LEGO,” Eilidh announced, squirming excitedly, and we all couldn’t help but chuckle. “Can I play with it too?”
Desperately trying not to laugh, Thane nodded as he ripped open the wrapping. “Of course.” He studied it, his eyebrows lifting. “It might be a wee bit difficult.” He looked at Lewis. “I didn’t even know LEGO did this stuff.”
It was adult LEGO. A complicated set with plans for a contemporary, all-white architect’s studio. “I thought it would look great in your office once it’s built. And it’s supposed to be a stress reliever.”
Thane flicked me a look. “Right.”
“Ree-Ree might have helped with the idea too,” Lewis admitted.
Their dad gave me a vague look of thanks.
I tucked his gift from me behind my legs.
* * *
Thane and Lachlan swapped stories about their misdemeanors as teenagers; Lewis and Eilidh were in Arrochar’s TV room watching a movie because they’d gotten bored with the adults. Mac helped Arro clean up the kitchen. Even Eredine joined the warm conversation between my sister and the brothers.
I wasn’t really in the mood. Abandoning my spot on the sofa, I thought I’d go check on the kids and passed through the hallway to do it. A glance in the kitchen, however, stopped me in my tracks. Arro and Mac were standing near the sink, side by side, but they were pressed together, heads turned to each other, murmuring in conversation. Mac stared down at Arro with such tenderness, I felt like I was intruding upon something.
Their body language was not the body language of two friends.
Oh my God.
How the hell had I missed that?
Probably because you’re obsessed with your asshole boss.
Hurrying away before they caught me watching them, I tucked this revelation away and considered asking Robyn about it later. Or maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe no one else knew. Maybe I was making something out of nothing.
Peeking into the den, I found Lewis sitting cross-legged in front of the TV, engrossed in a Marvel movie while Eilidh slept on the sofa. Not wanting to disturb them, I closed the door softly and pondered my next move. I couldn’t go into the kitchen to help Arro and Mac because it definitely seemed like I’d be interrupting. And I didn’t want to return to the sitting room because Thane’s insistence on making me feel like I didn’t exist was …
Well, it was horrible.
Looking down the hallway, I noted the side entrance that probably led to the backyard. It was cold out, but it was dry.
And I could do with some fresh air.
* * *
THANE
Regan disappeared fifteen minutes ago and hadn’t come back. At first, he’d thought she’d gone to the kitchen to help Mac and Arro, but they’d returned with drinks for everyone and she wasn’t with them.
He noted Robyn frowning at her empty spot on the couch, more specifically at the floor. Thane peered around Mac’s legs and noted the gift bag.
When he looked up, Robyn stared intensely at him.
He squirmed with guilt.
“Where’s Regan?” Eredine asked, cutting through Lachlan and Mac’s conversation about security plans for the Hogmanay ceilidh at Ardnoch Castle.
“I don’t know.” Robyn moved to push up off the large armchair she shared with Lachlan. “I’d better check.”
“Let me.” Thane stood. “I need to look in on the kids, anyway.”
Regan was probably with them.
A muscle ticked in Robyn’s jaw, but she nodded and lowered beside Lachlan.
Robyn’s strange intensity worried him. Had Regan told her sister about … the incident? Damn it. It was nothing. Something that shouldn’t have happened.
Or maybe she’s just picking up on the fact that you’re being an absolute bastard to her sister.
Guilt rode Thane’s every step. Once he’d put up his guard with Regan, he hadn’t known how to stop for fear he might cross the line with her again. And it was more than that. That man’s appearance last week had put Thane in the foulest of moods. Had he taken it out on Regan?
Remorse sharpened in his chest.
He’d been so lost in his concerns about that man and Eilidh that he hadn’t been paying attention to what he was doing to Regan.
Forced to socialize with her now, it was glaringly obvious that beyond the teasing between her and her sister, Regan had lost her sparkle. She didn’t want to sit around and laugh with them, and that was out of character. Regan was an optimistic, happy person who lit up any room she was in.
Had he dimmed her light with his behavior?
He’d acted like a typical fuck boy, flirting with her for weeks, touching her … and then icing her out. He hadn’t been a dick like that to women even in the arrogance of youth. It was appalling he’d do it now.
Was that why Lewis had clung to Regan so much this past week? He sensed Regan’s unhappiness?
Was his boy worried she didn’t want to be with them anymore?
What if she doesn’t?
Who would want to stick around for a boss who treated her like a mere servant?
If any other man did that to a woman he cared about, he’d have more than a few strong words for him.
The idea of Regan returning to the States made his pulse race with panic. Eilidh and Lewis needed her. Their lives were running so much smoother with her here, and she made them happy. Robyn had mentioned something about an ancestry visa a few weeks back, and it had given him hope perhaps Regan might stay on as their nanny for longer than six months. They were already in month three of her stay, almost halfway through.
A quick look in the TV room told him Regan wasn’t in there with the kids. The downstairs bathroom door was open, and she wasn’t in there either. As he stepped into the kitchen, he bumped into Robyn.
She held up the gift bag that had been lying on the floor.
Bemused, Thane took it and looked inside to see a book-shaped gift inside.
Robyn gave him that stony stare of hers. “Regan’s gift to you.”
He frowned. Why hadn’t she given it to him during the present opening?
“She’s sitting out in the backyard in the cold because she’d rather do that than sit in a room with you,” Robyn said bluntly. “Fix that, please.”
It was a command.
Ashamed of his behavior, he nodded like a scolded schoolboy and made his way to the French doors that led out into the back garden.
And there she was.
Her red hair gleamed gold in the autumn sunlight as she sat on one of Arrochar’s garden chairs, staring out into the woodland behind his sister’s house. Thane noted the protective way Regan sat with her knees drawn to her chest.
Sensing movement behind her, she glanced over her shoulder and tensed.
Only weeks ago she would have turned and given him her glamorous smile and those appealing dimples.
“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath and walked around her to sit down on her chair’s twin. “Hi.”
Regan drew her knees in even tighter. “Hey.” Her eyes dropped to the bag in his hand, and she stiffened.
“Robyn said this is from you to me.”
She tucked her hair behind her ear. “It’s just silly …”
Wanting to put her out of her obvious misery, and also intrigued by what the gift could be, Thane took the object out of the bag. It was thick and soft. Unwrapping it revealed a dark leather journal with an inscription on it. “Loyal Au Mort.”
“I … um … I noticed you have all these loose papers and sticky notes lying around the office, and a lot of them seem to be your thoughts on the same project.” She gestured to the journal as he opened the soft leather binding to reveal the lined paper inside. “It might be better for you to put all your ideas in one place so you don’t lose them.”
It was incredibly considerate, and he felt even more of a shit than before.
“Lachlan told me this is the Adair Clan motto.”
“Loyal Au Mort.” He traced the words embossed on the front. “Faithful unto Death.”
“I like it. It speaks to who you guys are. But … I don’t know.” She shifted uncomfortably again. “It seems stupid now.”
Because she saw him differently now?
Why did that prick his pride more than he liked?
“It’s not stupid,” he replied gruffly, his pulse thundering in his ears. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”
When she wouldn’t meet his gaze, he knew he had to do major damage control, or he was going to mess up things between them for good.
“I’m sorry I’ve been such a bastard to you. You don’t deserve that.”
Regan shrugged and gave him a wide smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “It’s fine.”
She was lying.
Hiding how he’d hurt her.
Not wanting to be vulnerable with him.
And who could bloody blame her?
“Last week, the man my wife cheated on me with suddenly approached me at work,” he shocked himself by blurting out.
Regan’s reaction was physical. Her knees fell away from her chest as if her strings had been cut. “What?”
“No one knows. About any of it. Not even Lachlan.”
Eyes wide, she shook her head. “Thane, I won’t tell anyone.”
He sat back in the chair, the cold air nipping at his cheeks. And it all just spilled out, like he couldn’t contain it any longer. “It was before Eilidh was born. I didn’t suspect a thing. Nothing had changed between us. Not our family dynamic, not our relationship. There had been a rough patch before it. Fran seemed discontent and I couldn’t work out why. But soon enough, I thought something had clicked into place for her because she seemed happier than ever. I just assumed she was finally growing into family life,” he grunted, remembering the brutal wound of discovering the truth. “I wanted to surprise her at work for Valentine’s Day. She had been working late a lot at school, and I thought she deserved a wee break. So I packed a hamper with nibbles and champagne to take to her. Arro was babysitting Lewis.
“The school was near empty when I got there. Her door was open. No one was in the classroom. But I could hear muffled noises coming from within her supply cupboard.”
“Oh, Thane.” Regan dropped her head in sympathy.
He gave her an unhappy smirk. “Opened the door and found her colleague Sean McClintock fucking her up against the shelves.”
Regan squeezed her eyes closed as if she felt his pain. “I’m so sorry.”
“We had the prick and his wife over for goddamn dinner. He’d held my son in his arms. And it turned out for six months, they’d been cheating on us.”
Regan shook her head. “But you forgave her?”
Remembering the months of emotional wreckage Fran had wrought, Thane confessed quietly, “It wasn’t that easy. McClintock took off. Didn’t want to lose his wife, so he left for a school in Moray. I was still trying to figure out what I wanted, and Fran was desperately trying to convince me she loved me.”
“Then why cheat on you?”
“She said it wasn’t about not loving me. It was the thrill. After we had Lewis, she’d felt old. Said she was worried she’d missed out since she’d only ever been with me.”
“What the hell?”
“I know.” Fran’s confession had hurt like hell. True, she was a virgin when they met, and he had been with other girls before her, but few. And never had he thought he’d missed out by settling down with Fran. “But she said the idea of losing me woke her up. That she wanted only me. I was still deciding whether to give her another chance when she told me she was pregnant with Eilidh.”
“Thane?” Regan sat forward on the chair, reaching to grip his wrist as realization dawned on her. “No. I … see you in Eilidh. No way. She’s yours.”
“I know she’s mine.” His heart banged in his chest at the very idea of someone trying to take her from him.
Regan relaxed. “You did a test?”
“No.” He yanked his arm out from under hers. “I don’t need a bloody test. No test needs to tell me what I already know in my gut. Eilidh is my daughter.”
She seemed to process that, and whatever conclusion she drew made her expression soften to pure tenderness. The tightness in his chest eased, and he had the seductive thought that it might be fantastic to pull her into his arms and bury all his worries and frustration in her.
But he couldn’t.
Not this woman.
“I’m telling you this because McClintock approached, like I said. He was drunk, and Eilidh was the reason he’d come to me. I quickly shut him down, but it put me in a bear of a mood. I’m sorry. You don’t deserve to take the brunt of it.”
Concerned, she sat forward, her elbows to knees. “Did he threaten to take action about this?”
“I’ve worried all week that’s where the conversation was heading, but I think I scared the shit out of him. Haven’t heard from him since.”
“Why now?”
“I don’t know. I don’t care. It’s not happening.”
At his dark tone, Regan gave him a grim nod. “Agreed. I’m glad you scared him off.”
Seeing her reaction, her genuine fondness for his family, made him feel even worse about his treatment of her. “Do you accept my apology, then?”
She cocked her head and her hair spilled down her shoulders, the copper glinting brilliantly in the low afternoon sun. In the shadows, her eyes often looked dark brown, but today their color was a warm, glossy chestnut with red and gold tones to match her hair.
They’d been dull only a short time ago. The light was back.
Thank God.
“I won’t put up with it again. I’m nobody’s punching bag, Thane.”
He winced slightly. “I know that. It won’t happen again. I’m ashamed it even did.”
Her expression softened and then turned quizzical. “Does that mean you weren’t treating me like that because of … the hands on my ass thing?”
Flushing, Thane rubbed the back of his neck. How did he explain this tactfully without hurting her feelings even further? Deciding she deserved his honesty instead of his avoidance, he leaned toward her. “That can’t happen between us, Regan. Ever.”
Her brow puckered. “You’re attracted to me too. I felt it. In more ways than one.”
At her mischievous comment, he threw her a quelling look.
She grinned wickedly and goddamn it, all his blood rushed south.
“Regan,” he warned. “I’m serious. There’s no point in denying that I think you’re beautiful. I’d have to be half dead not to react to you pressed up against me.” He quickly threw the memory out. “But I’m your boss, and you’re too young for me. It could never be anything but sex between us, and that’s not happening.”
Thane waited impatiently for her reaction. She studied him for what seemed like a very long time, and he worried about her being out in this bloody cold garden with no coat. Finally, she threw a glance over her shoulder at the house, then turned to lean into him. Her voice low, husky, heat in those gorgeous eyes, she asked, “Who said it had to be anything serious? We want each other, and we’re both adults. Why can’t we just satisfy those urges without making a big deal out of it?”
The blood was definitely rushing out of his brain because there was a part of him that wanted to give in, to say screw it, and crawl into her bed that night to bury his loneliness inside her.
Shaking his head at the selfish thought, Thane stood, putting distance between them. He clutched the journal in his hand and gestured with it. “Thank you again for the thoughtful gift, Regan. But I’m going to say this one more time: it can’t happen between us. Now either we agree to put it behind us, or we’ll need to reassess your position as the children’s nanny.”
“Thane.” She stood with a huff of anger and tried to reach for him. He pulled away from her and ignored her hurt expression. “I don’t get how you can be so great one minute and then so cold the next.”
“Probably because every time I’m myself with you, you cross the line,” he snapped. She was pushing him to lose control. He wanted to, and he hated himself for it. “I’m trying to be a good man. A good father. I don’t need to make village gossip the truth and turn this into something sordid. For the last time, I’m asking you to act professionally toward me from now on, to treat me as you treated the other fathers who employed you, unless, of course, you get off on harassing older, unavailable men.”
He regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth.
Regan jerked back as if he’d physically hit her, and he clenched the hand not holding her gift to stop himself from reaching for her.
“Message received loud and clear. I’m sorry if my behavior came across as harassment. It won’t happen again.” She strode away from him, her spine stiff, and disappeared inside.
Feeling a burn in his chest, Thane turned his back to the house to gather himself. Trying to be a good man, he’d said. To everyone but her, it would seem.
“Thane!”
Taking a deep breath, he turned to the house to see Mac standing at the French doors. “Regan isn’t feeling well, and Eilidh’s still asleep in the den, so I offered to take Regan home. Just wanted to say bye before I left.”
Thane tried not to react to the news that he’d chased her out of Arro’s house. “Right. Okay, then. Thanks, Mac. And thanks again for the whisky.”
“No problem. Hopefully see you before your birthday, but if I don’t, have a good one.”
“Thanks.” He waved his friend off and braced himself for returning indoors.
He couldn’t look at Robyn, but he could sense her watching him. Judging him, probably. Pondering the many ways she could unman him with her martial arts skills.
And he’d deserve it.
Lewis grew stonily quiet at the news Regan had gone home without them. Eilidh woke up as he put her into the back of the car, and the first person she asked for was Ree-Ree. She cried, reminding him how little she was, when he didn’t produce her nanny (and to be frank, her best friend) immediately.
His daughter thankfully fell back asleep as they made the short drive back to Caelmore. Lewis gave him one-word answers to his questions, so he stopped asking.
The silence gave his thoughts time to wander.
And it suddenly occurred to him he’d confessed Fran’s betrayal to Regan. She was the only person he’d trusted with it. Why? And then why insult her afterward?
He sighed heavily. He was a mess.
Maybe he wasn’t protecting himself from Regan by pushing her away. Maybe he was protecting her.
Sounds like a shitty excuse, a voice that sounded an awful lot like Regan’s said in his head.
As he pulled up to the house, an overwhelming sense of remorse and melancholy filled him at the sight of the lights on in her annex. Thane decided the fact that the woman had him so tied in knots was a sign that he should keep his distance.
Lewis got out of the car before Thane had even taken off his seat belt, and he watched his son stare toward the annex as he walked to their front door. Thane saw to Eilidh, lifting her from her seat. Her little arms circled his neck, and she pressed her cheek to his.
His chest expanded with emotion. “Come on, little love,” he whispered. “Time for bed.”
“Will Ree-Ree be there too?” she whispered sleepily.
He winced. “Regan’s already asleep, Eilidh-Bug. But I’ve got you.”
She snuggled deeper into him, apparently too tired to argue. Thank God.
Flicking one last look in the annex’s direction, Thane decided he’d have to fix things again with Regan. He could be civil and kind and friendly toward her without giving her hope of more.
And there was one surefire way to get the message across without treating her so undeservedly.