Feels Like Love by Jenna Hartley

Chapter Twelve

Iwas waiting for River in the school pickup line when my phone buzzed with a new alert. I glanced at the screen and then tossed my phone back into my purse.

LoveBirds. I rolled my eyes.

I’d waited several days after my last date before even considering going back on the app. After my latest experience, was it any wonder I was gun-shy? The guy had ditched me for his ex mid-date.

But then I’d gone home to Bennett. He’d made me feel beautiful, desired, and for the briefest of moments, I’d been convinced he was going to kiss me. The air had swirled with tension and promise. And my body had yearned for his touch. I’d been so certain it was finally going to happen. Then…nothing.

Ugh. I needed to get over this stupid crush. Especially since Bennett was the one who kept encouraging me to go on dates. Kept telling me he was sure there was someone out there for me. Someone as in…not him.

With a heavy sigh, I pulled out my phone, knowing I just needed to get on with it. Get back on the horse, as Harper suggested. Too bad the horse I wanted to ride was living at my house. He was also off-limits and uninterested.

I opened the app and scrolled through my matches. There was a new message from Ben in the chats. Interesting.

Ben: Hi, Wren. It’s nice to meet you.

Okay. Not earth-shattering, but also not a dick pic either. I’d come back to him.

I scrolled through my new matches, and one caught my eye. I smiled at the guy’s picture—Arlo. He was wearing sunglasses and a big goofy smile that immediately pulled me in. I skimmed his profile. He was originally from Australia—sexy accent was a definite plus. And to top it all off, he was holding a cupcake, though most of the icing had ended up on his face. Fellow baked-good aficionado? That had to be a good omen.

Arlo was twenty-eight years old. Single. Worked for a tech company. And never been married.

Dark-brown hair, boyish grin, bronzed skin as if he’d been surfing. And he had a dog. River would love that.

I clicked on the button to accept the match and returned my attention to my inbox. I was still nervous after what had happened the other night. But because of Bennett, I felt more excited, more confident, than I would have otherwise.

I responded to Ben’s message next. Fortunately, it didn’t look like he was online. Whew. That took some of the pressure off.

Me: Hey. How are you?

Again, not earth-shattering, but it was a start.

A new message popped up in the LoveBirds chat window from Arlo, and I debated tapping on it. Knowing that if I did, I’d have to answer because he would know I’d seen it. Gah! Why was I so awkward at dating?

Arlo: Hiya, Wren! Nice to meet ya.

Light and casual. Keep it easy. Cool. Pretend you’re texting with a friend, with Bennett. At least, that had been his advice.

I had so many questions for Bennett, but I knew I could only push him so far. And I worried that if I kept pushing, he’d freak out and end our coaching sessions.

Me: Hey! Same. I see you’re an Aussie. Always wanted to visit.

Arlo: I am! It’s a beautiful country. California reminds me a lot of home.

Me: Have you lived here long?

Arlo: About five years, though I only recently moved to the Alondra Valley. What about you?

Me: Born and raised here.

Arlo: Wow. A true blue. That’s awesome. Maybe you could show me around some time?

So far, he seemed easy to talk to, but I was hiding behind a screen. Was I prepared to meet him in person? What if…

Stop. If you don’t try, you’ll never know.

Me: I’d love that.

I thought about the cupcake in his profile picture. Immediately, a bakery a few towns over came to mind. It was cute and quirky. And best of all, St. Cecilia was miles away from the curious eyes of Alondra and Fall River. Too bad I didn’t know of any cute bakeries in Blue River Creek, which was even farther away.

Me: Have you been to the 221b Bakery?

Arlo: No, but is that…is that a reference to Sherlock Holmes?

I laughed, pleased he’d understood the reference. Between baking and Sherlock Holmes and Australia, I felt more confident that we’d have enough things to talk about.

Me: It is. But don’t look up the bakery ahead of time. It’ll ruin the surprise.

Arlo: I feel like a bit of a bludger. I should be the one planning our first date.

I laughed, though I got caught on the word “bludger” before realizing it must be Australian slang for slacker. If nothing else, it would be fun to meet an Aussie. And I appreciated his desire to impress me. Or, perhaps, woo me? Whatever. Before I could type out a reply, another chat bubble popped up.

Arlo: I’ll console myself with the fact that I can plan the second one.

I couldn’t help but smile. Confidence was sexy. And I liked that he was already hoping for a second date before we’d had the first. Even so, that didn’t mean I was going to make it easy on him.

Me: What makes you so sure there will be a second date?

Arlo: It’s the accent. You won’t be able to resist me.

I laughed, enjoying his sense of humor. Though I wondered if he used that line with all the women. Was he merely a flirt, or was he actually a player?

Me: Hmm. I watch a lot of British television. I may be immune to it.

Arlo: Then I guess I’ll have to find other ways to charm you.

River emerged from the building, and I quickly typed out another message.

Me: I have to pick up my son from school. This Thursday at 2 p.m. work?

I’d added the part about River intentionally. Though it was clearly stated in my profile that I was a mom, I was done messing around. If Arlo was cool with the fact that I had a son, then he wouldn’t be scared away. And if he was—then I’d be saving us both some time.

Arlo: No worries. I’m looking forward to it.

I smiled. So far, no red flags. It looked like we were good to go.

River opened the door to the back seat, and I glanced at him. “Hey, kiddo! How was school?”

“Fine.” He lifted a shoulder, buckling himself in.

I frowned, watching him in the rearview mirror. Usually, he skipped out to the car and wouldn’t stop talking about his day.

“Riv?” I asked. “Everything okay?”

He shrugged but said nothing, which only deepened my frown. I wasn’t going to force him to talk, but I hated seeing him so upset and not being able to help him. Not even knowing what was wrong.

And no matter what I tried, he was silent the entire drive. When we got home, he went straight to his room and shut the door. I gave him a minute, and then I knocked.

“Hey, Riv? You want a snack?”

I leaned against the door, waiting for any sound.

“I’m fine.” His voice was muffled, and I wondered if he was crying into a pillow. I stood there, debating whether to go in or give him his space. I didn’t want to make it worse, but it was so hard not to just barge in and demand to know what was going on. To try to make him feel better.

I heard the back door open and shut and headed back down the hall to the kitchen. Bennett took one look at me and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know. River’s upset about something, but he won’t talk to me.”

He frowned, setting his bag and coffee thermos on the counter. “Do you think he’ll talk to me?”

“Thanks, but it’s not your problem,” I huffed. “I’m his mom. I’ll figure it out.”

“Wren.” He rounded the counter, coming over to me and rubbing my arms. It felt so good, so nice, to be touched. To have his support. “You are his mom, but you don’t have to do it all alone. Let me help.”

He was right. I knew he was right. So, I nodded. River loved Bennett, trusted him. And I did too.

Crap. Love?

I pushed away the thought. I had a date with Arlo. I was not in love with Bennett. I loved the idea of him.

Bennett walked down the hall to River’s room and knocked gently. He said something, and then River must have told Bennett he could come in because Bennett pushed open the door and went inside. I tiptoed down the hall to listen at the door, careful to keep myself hidden from view. I wasn’t sure whether to be hurt that River had let Bennett in when he hadn’t wanted me or relieved. But as I heard River talking, I knew I was relieved. Definitely relieved.

I’d always known that River would face challenges the older he got. People wouldn’t understand his desire to dress the way he did or enjoy the things he did. But I’d always strived to show him nothing but acceptance and unconditional love. The fact that Bennett seemed to do the same—automatically—well…my heart squeezed in my chest.

“It’s nothing.” River blew out a breath, and I tried to focus on the conversation. “Some of the boys in PE were just messing around.”

I clenched my fists. I should’ve known this was coming. I should’ve prepared him better. But how?

“What did they say?” Bennett asked, his tone surprisingly calm.

“You know…” River paused. “Stupid stuff about how I was girlie and gay.”

“Then what happened?”

“Aiden told them to shut up.” Yeah. Go, Aiden!

“And did they?”

“Yeah.” River blew out a breath.

“Did it bother you?” Bennett asked, treading lightly. “The words they used to describe you?”

“Nah. They’re dumb and boring. They have zero sense of style.”

I smiled at that.

“I agree. And they shouldn’t talk to you like that. But if it happens again, you’ll tell me or your mom, right?” Bennett was handling this like a pro.

I’d watched River blossom with Bennett’s presence and attention. River deserved to have a dad. A man who would help him navigate life’s challenges. Not that I couldn’t help him. But I knew some things carried more weight coming from a guy.

I hoped River’s silence meant he was nodding. I hated that he was going through this, but I was thankful he had Bennett. Had River opened up to Bennett because Bennett was a man or because he was who he was? I had a feeling it was the latter.

“You’re the coolest kid I know,” Bennett said, and my nose stung. “I love you, Butter Bean.”

“I love you too, Butter Butter. And you’re the coolest guy I know. Though, don’t tell Uncle Liam I said that.”

I laughed into my hand, though a tear fell down my cheek. These two.

“I won’t.” I could hear the grin in Bennett’s tone, and it made me smile.

I backed away from the door so they wouldn’t know I’d been eavesdropping and continued down the hall to the kitchen. When they emerged from the bedroom, River seemed as if a weight had been lifted. Bennett smiled at me, but his jaw was clenched tight. I understood the feeling. Relief for River mingled with outrage toward the kids who had bullied him. And where had the teachers been when it happened? Why hadn’t they done anything?

We didn’t speak of it again, moving on with our evening as usual. That night, after River went to bed, Bennett and I sat on the couch, drinking wine and watching TV.

“Thank you.” I swallowed, tucking my hair behind my ear. “For helping with River earlier. I know it meant a lot to him, and you handled it really well.”

“Thanks. I tried to think of what you’d say.”

“Really?” I tilted my head.

“Yeah.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Why do you seem so surprised?”

“I don’t know. I guess sometimes I worry that I don’t know what to say or how to be the parent River needs.”

“That’s not true.” He grabbed my hand and gave it a quick squeeze before releasing me. “You’re an amazing mom. And thank you for giving me the opportunity to help today.”

I smiled. “You know…one day, you’ll be an amazing dad.”

“I hope you’re right.” His eyes were focused on the screen, and his expression was unreadable. “I love River, and I would do anything for him.”

I placed my hand on his, his comment endearing him more to me than he could ever imagine. “I know. And he knows that too.”

“Good. He should. Because if those punk-ass kids so much as breathe in his direction again…” He shook his head, nostrils flaring. “I will make them pay.”

Why was that so sexy? The idea that Bennett would defend my son and me? Even so, I reminded myself that this was temporary. And as much as I loved having him here, Bennett had his own home. His own life.

In a few weeks, he’d move back to his house. And it would just be River and me again. Sure, we could call Bennett or invite him over, but it wouldn’t be the same. It honestly sounded kind of lonely. Did he feel it too?

“Never a dull moment around here.” I set my wineglass on the coffee table. “I’m sure you’ll be ready to go home when your house is done. It’ll be nice and quiet.”

“Mm,” he grunted. “Too quiet.”

“What?” I grinned. “Don’t tell me you’ll miss our dance parties?”

“Are you kidding?” he teased. “I live for dance parties.” He grabbed my hand, pulling me up off the couch.

Before I even realized what was happening, he was spinning me around. Then spinning me back into his arms. His front was pressed to my back, his arms pinning me to his body. My breath caught in my chest, and I wondered if he could feel my heart beating against his forearm. We stayed that way for a while, swaying until I turned in his arms, linking my hands behind his neck.

He peered down at me then pulled me closer so my ear was resting against his chest. I didn’t know how it was possible to feel both incredibly turned on and completely relaxed all at the same time. But somehow Bennett managed what no other man had.

“This is nice.” His voice rumbled in his chest, vibrating through my ear.

I nodded against him, trying not to be obvious about the fact that I was breathing him in. Inhaling him like a drug. And as we stood there, swaying in the middle of my living room, I let myself relax in his arms. Accept what he was offering, even while I wanted more. So much more, that my body yearned for him, my heart going into overdrive anytime he was near.

When he moved out, I was going to miss a lot more than just the dance parties.