Feels Like Love by Jenna Hartley

Chapter Eleven

Iwoke up more refreshed than I had in a long time. As I drove to the clinic, I thought about last night with Wren. The way she’d touched me, listened to me. I’d never had a woman look at me the way she had—with reverence and affection. Adoration, even. But then her phone had buzzed with an alert from that damn dating app, and the spell had been broken.

I parked my car and headed inside the clinic. It was time to get back to reality. At the house, it was easy to get sucked into the fantasy that Wren and I were a couple, and the three of us were a family. But every time she got a notification from LoveBirds or talked about dating, my bubble burst. Yet, foolishly, I kept trying to re-erect it. Trying to pretend that she and River belonged to me just as much as my heart belonged to the two of them.

“Good morning, Dr. Nash,” Stacy said. She staffed the front desk and kept my practice organized and running smoothly.

“Good morning.” I grabbed the stack of mail from her desk and tried to ignore the women checking me out in the waiting room. “What do we have on the schedule for today?”

“A few checkups. A few sick visits. And one surgery.”

“Great. Anything else?” I asked, thinking it all sounded fairly standard.

“Nope. Though, Ms. Marcus is bringing Whisper back. I’m worried about them.” She frowned.

“Hm.” She’d been struggling for a while. “Thanks for letting me know.”

A few hours and a few appointments later, I’d dealt with an angry Rottweiler who wasn’t happy about seeing me. I’d inserted a microchip in a Siamese cat. And checked the stitches on a pug. I glanced at my schedule, and I was immediately filled with dread for my next appointment. I’d done everything to keep Whisper healthy and comfortable, but she was getting up there. More than anything, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to save her. It was one of the hardest parts of my job—saying goodbye to an animal and having to watch the devastation suffered by the owner.

I took a deep breath and forced myself to smile as I entered the exam room. “Ms. Marcus.”

“Hello, Dr. Nash. Always good to see you.” Ms. Marcus smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“You too. What’s going on with Whisper today?” I rubbed just behind her ears the way I knew she liked. But she barely stirred.

Whisper had been diagnosed with kidney failure almost a year ago. Since then, Ms. Marcus had devoted herself to her cat’s care. I’d been seeing them since I’d moved back to the Alondra Valley and started practicing. She had been one of my first patients.

“She seems off. Doesn’t want to eat or drink much. Just lies there.”

“Hmm,” I said, assessing the patient, talking to her in a gentle voice, explaining what I did, even though she might not understand.

“Please tell me she’s going to be okay,” Ms. Marcus said, her voice shaking. “Whisper has been my constant companion. And since my husband died a few years ago, she’s been my everything.”

“I know how much she means to you,” I said as I completed the exam. She’d told me many times how her cat was the only one who kept her going. “And I know how much you love Whisper. But I’m afraid she’s suffering.”

Ms. Marcus started crying then. “I don’t want her to suffer, but I can’t live without her.”

With a heavy sigh, I placed my hand on the cat’s side. Whisper looked up at me, eyes pleading. She was panting, dazed. It wasn’t good. I didn’t want to deliver the news, but I didn’t have a choice.

“Please,” Ms. Marcus pleaded. “Please tell me there’s something, anything, you can do to save her. I don’t care how much it costs. I don’t—”

“I don’t think she’s going to live much longer,” I said, trying to keep the emotion out of my voice. Even though I knew this was part of the job—part of life—it never got any easier. “She can finish out her days at home, with you. Or we can ease her suffering and end it sooner.”

I, of course, knew which option she’d choose, but I had to give them to her anyway. And not surprisingly, she said, “I want to keep Whisper at home with me. I think she’s happiest there.”

I nodded. “If things get worse, you need to call the after-hours line and speak to the doctor on call. If she stops eating completely, won’t drink at all, or can’t keep anything down.”

She swallowed, her expression fraught with destruction. “I understand.”

I gave Whisper a gentle cuddle and handed her to Ms. Marcus but not before saying, “I’m so sorry.”

Ms. Marcus sniffled. “Thank you.”

“Of course. I wish I had better news.”

“It’s not your fault that none of us live forever. I just hoped we’d go at the same time so neither of us would have to be alone.”

Fuck. I swallowed hard. God, this was awful. I was thankful they were my last appointment for the day. Stacy had already left, and I didn’t think I could handle dealing with anyone right now. Whisper may not be gone yet, but we all knew it wouldn’t be much longer. I just hoped her owner wouldn’t follow on her heels.

I drove around for a while with no particular destination in mind. I didn’t want to go back to Wren’s—not when I was in such a melancholy mood. That wouldn’t be fair to her or River. And I knew she’d only try to help.

And if she looked at me the way she had last night…

I clenched the wheel and released a deep breath. Living with Wren was torture. Spending every evening with her. Getting this glimpse into her and River’s lives. Being allowed in, only to know that I was going to leave.

Wren had been right—River was getting attached. But I was afraid of how much I was beginning to enjoy coming home to the two of them.

It’s not your home.

My house was still a few weeks away from being done, but I needed to see the progress, check in with the crew. Remind myself that I would be moving out again soon. Leaving Wren and River.

My phone buzzed with a text.

Wren: Hope you had a good day. I’m picking up pizza for dinner. I’ll grab you a Giada, unless you text me something else.

It was as if she’d known I was thinking about her. Honestly, she was never far from my mind. And as hard as I tried to stay away, as much as I knew I should, I couldn’t.

I told myself it was because pizza sounded good. She’d ordered my favorite after all. But I knew it was about more than pizza. I wanted to see her at the end of the day, especially a hard one. I wanted to hug River and read him stories. I wanted to watch TV with Wren, even if it took everything in me not to touch her. Even if we’d never be anything more than friends.

So, I typed out my response.

Me: Thank you. See you soon.

I drove back to her house. When I trudged up the stairs to the back door, I stilled at the sound of…was that music? I opened the door, and a catchy pop tune had me wondering what was going on.

Wren and River were dancing around the living room. I leaned against the wall and watched them with a smile. River was standing on the coffee table, singing along in sync with the woman’s voice. He wore a hot-pink tutu and these giant, star-shaped sunglasses. Wren was shaking her ass, tossing her head from side to side as she danced around River.

She really was the best mom. Loving and patient, but also fun. My parents had never been ones for fun. They were happy for us to play, but they rarely got on the floor or dug in the mud with us. Even more importantly, though, Wren was accepting. She loved River exactly as he was, and I knew she’d never try to change him.

I’d have four more kids with her.

I jerked my head back. Wait. What?

I’d always wanted kids, but five? That was insane.

I tried to take it back, but I couldn’t. I knew in my gut that it was true. If only she’d look at me that way. If only Liam wouldn’t cut my balls off, making it impossible to have children.

Still, he wasn’t here now. And she was undeniably sexy, moving, undulating. She was having so much fun, and the way I was looking at her… It was indecent.

As if sensing my eyes on her, Wren turned, pausing when she spotted me. A smile lit up her face, and it felt as if I could power an entire city with the way she was looking at me.

“Butter Butter!” River called, pushing his hair away from his face. “Dance with us.”

I didn’t want to intrude on their moment, but when Wren crooked her finger and made a come-hither motion, I was powerless to resist.

River cupped his hands to his mouth. “Reel him in, Mom!” he called over the music. “Reel him in.”

I laughed as Wren did just that, miming the act of fishing and then reeling me in. I played along, allowing her to lure me in. Pull me closer. She’d already caught me, and she didn’t even know it.

River jumped into my arms, and I caught him with an oomph. I spun around, both of us laughing. It was all so silly and awesome, and we were laughing and smiling like crazy.

He returned to the coffee table, and Wren grabbed my hands, spinning me around the room. And in that moment, looking into her eyes as we smiled at each other, I realized that I was just like Ms. Marcus. Trying to hang on to something as long as I could, even though I knew it wouldn’t last. Even knowing it might end up hurting me more in the end.

* * *

I nearly swallowedmy tongue at the sight of Wren. She was wearing a deep-plum–colored dress that clung to her curves and heels and had me biting my knuckles so I wouldn’t sink my teeth into her ass. Damn. She was sexy. And I wanted to strip it off her.

“What?” she asked, hands on hips. She seemed angry, but I didn’t understand why. At least not unless her date had bombed. I shouldn’t be as happy about that as I was.

“Bad date?” I asked, instead of telling her how amazing she looked. She seemed like she wanted to rip something apart, not have her clothes ripped off by me.

“Oh no. It was fine.” It clearly wasn’t, judging from her tone.

“What happened?” I asked in a gentle voice.

“My date…” She shook her head. “His ex showed up about halfway through. Not long after, he made some excuse to leave.”

Oh, hell no. I was going to log in to that stupid app and find out who that motherfu—

“And then, I ran into Kade’s parents. And they decided to tell me what a horrible job I’m doing as a parent.”

I clenched my fists. “The fuck?”

“Apparently,” she seethed. “They think it’s inappropriate that I allow him to wear the things he does. To take dance classes. To…well, whatever.” She threw her hands in the air.

I stood, ready to punish them for how they’d treated Wren. How their son had treated her. It was a good thing Kade had left town years ago. As far as I knew, he never visited, and for that, I was glad. But for his parents to say what they had… To think they had any right to anything when it came to River…

“That’s bullshit. And they had no right to say that.”

“They underestimate me. Which is fine—everyone does.”

I frowned. “What does that mean?”

She lifted a shoulder. “Nothing. Forget it.”

“Wren,” I growled. I couldn’t help it. “Explain.”

“I’m tired. It’s nothing.” She shook her head and turned for the hall. “I have another early shoot tomorrow. Good night, Bennett.”

My feet were moving before my mind could catch up. “Wren.” I was careful to keep my voice low so I wouldn’t wake River. I placed a hand on her shoulder and spun her so her back was against the wall and my arms were caging her in. “Talk to me.”

She blew out a breath. “I’m so sick and tired of everyone seeing me a certain way.”

“What way is that?” I asked, unable to keep myself from studying the dark sweep of her eyelashes, the slope of her nose, the scar near her eyebrow that somehow made her even more beautiful.

She glanced down at the floor, at the wall behind me, anywhere but at me. Where was all the sass? Where was the Wren I knew and loved?

“Wren?” I placed my hand on her collarbone, covering her port-wine stain birthmark with my palm. My tone was gentle, coaxing, the same way I’d speak to one of the animals I worked with.

“I’m just so sick of being seen as ‘sweet’ or ‘cute’ or, worse still, naïve. I’m the one raising River. I’m his mom. They have no right to say what he can wear. Let alone who he should or shouldn’t be.” She had tears in her eyes, but I knew they were from anger.

She’d always been that way. If she got really upset, she often cried. And she was right; people in the past had underestimated her, perceiving her emotions as a weakness. I thought she was strong. It took strength to be vulnerable. It was something I was still working on.

“Why does it bother you so much?” I asked, smoothing my hand up her neck. “Other people’s opinions don’t matter. Least of all that asshole’s parents.” I knew that was easier said than done, but it was something I’d been working on for years.

“Because they’re not the only ones. I know how some people in this town talk about my son and me.”

“Fuck ’em. Fuck all of them.”

She scoffed. “Easy for you to say.”

I frowned. “What does that mean?”

“Have you looked in the mirror?”

My brow rose. Color me intrigued. And while I knew I should’ve shut that shit right down, did I?

No.

No. Instead, I heard myself asking, “You think I’m hot?”

She rolled her eyes, and I wanted to laugh because it reminded me of all the times she’d done that as a little kid. I was her older brother’s best friend. To Liam, Wren was the annoying little sister. But I’d never viewed her that way. She’d always been sweet and sassy, making me laugh like no one else could.

“I’m just saying—you’re Bennett Nash. You’re strong and kind. You heal animals. All you have to do is look at a woman and her panties melt.” I was still trying to process her words, while simultaneously committing them to memory, when she said, “And then there’s me…” She scoffed. “Well, I couldn’t get a guy to touch me with a ten-foot pole even if I paid him.”

“That’s not true,” I said. Though it pained me that she believed it.

“It’s not?”

I cupped her cheeks, forcing her to meet my gaze. I couldn’t say the words, but I shook my head slowly, wanting her to see the truth of it in my eyes.

“You are so beautiful.”

“You’re only saying that to make me feel better.”

“Come on,” I tsked. “You know me better than that, Wren.”

I used my thumbs to wipe her tears. She was so gorgeous it made my chest ache. I leaned in, resting my forehead against hers. I wanted to kiss her so badly. I was so close, but she was tired and vulnerable. And my best friend’s sister.

Which was why I released her and said, “There’s a guy out there for you. Someone who will cherish you and love you and River the way you both deserve.”

Her breath was shaky. “I wish I shared your certainty.”

“It’s not like that guy was your only match on LoveBirds. And even if he were, there are other ways of meeting people.”

“You’re right. I know you’re right,” she sighed. “Just the other night, I matched with this guy who seemed really promising.”

“I sense a ‘but’ in there…”

“But he hasn’t even messaged me.”

“You could message him,” I offered.

“I guess.” Her shoulders slumped. “I’ll think about it. Not tonight, though. I’ve faced enough rejection for one evening.”

I clenched my fists, wishing I could pummel the ass she’d gone out with tonight. But what would that accomplish? Wren needed me.

“Everything will look better in the morning,” I said, steering her toward her bedroom. “Come on.”

When we reached the threshold, she turned back to me. “Thank you, Bennett.” Then she pressed up on her toes and kissed my cheek. Her lips were pillowy soft, and I closed my eyes, inhaling her sweet, floral scent.

“Anything for you.” I brushed my nose against hers, so tempted to give in and kiss her.

“You’re the best, Bennett. You make everything better. You always have.”

I inhaled slowly, letting it out even slower. “So do you, Wren. So do you.”

With great restraint, I forced myself to turn and head for my room. I was doing my best here, but I honestly didn’t know how much more I could take.