On His Desk by Mia Faye
Chapter 45
AVA
It’s been two weeks since I stopped working at Hyperion and every waking hour has been a real struggle for me. I don’t know how I’d have survived if Miley hadn’t been with me.
She hasn’t given up her apartment and is using it as her office of sorts until she gets a permanent place near her new home. I’m working temporarily as her assistant and we’re sorting out clothes on racks.
“If you miss Michael so much you ought to do something about it,” Miley says.
I look at her and wonder if pregnancy has interfered with her brain. I’ve explained it to her so many times. I can’t believe that she thinks that going back to Michael is an option.
“He never dumped you. You did the dumping,” she says.
“He was probably cheating on me,” I say and fold my arms across my chest. “And even if he wasn’t, he would have at some point.”
Miley lets out a humorless laugh. “Barry really fucked you up. Are you listening to yourself? You dumped a great guy because he might cheat on you. What sort of twisted logic is that?”
When she puts it like that, it does sound a little ridiculous.
“I was tired of dealing with Paige,” I say weakly.
“You’re the one who let her get to you and that’s what she wanted. You let her win, Ava. And you lost a great guy because you couldn’t bring yourself to trust him.”
Tears fill my eyes. I’m so confused. I’d been so sure when I broke it off with Michael but now, I’m not sure about anything anymore. With the hindsight of time, I can see that Paige was playing games with me. I was like a puppet and she held the strings.
“Don’t ever think about getting married,” Miley says.
“Why?” I hope everything is okay between her and Alec. They seemed fine when I saw them together this morning.
“Because true intimacy requires a hundred percent trust. Ava, you need to learn how to trust someone you love.”
“I trust you.”
She smiles at me as if I’m a child. “I know you do. I mean the opposite sex. Relationships will never work for you until you learn how to trust again.”
“I hate Barry!” I say with feeling and then break out into loud embarrassing sobs.
Miley stops what she’s doing and comes to me. She wraps her arms around me, and I cling to her. I cry so hard, I’m afraid by the time I get myself under control, all her clothes will be wet.
“Look, I know Barry hurt you really badly but you’re letting him win by breaking up an awesome relationship.”
I inhale deeply. I long for Michael with an intensity that frightens me. I want him back so much, but I’m frightened. I miss Elly too. I wonder what she’s coloring now, what books she’s reading, and if she can ride her bicycle comfortably.
“I want him back,” I tell Miley.
“Then go get him,” she says.
The darkness begins to lift. Seeds of hope grow in my heart.
