The Bonds We Break by Becca Steele
FOUR
Icould tell Cassius was lost in thought by the way his eyes went all unfocused. I’d tried to put that night out of my mind, as I had with everything that involved Caiden and Winter… In fact, I’d tried to put everything out of my mind.
Turning to Caiden, I replied to his earlier statement about not wanting me around and not upsetting Winter. I knew his comments were fair. The old me would’ve made a cutting remark, uncaring of what he thought, but that night at the docks had changed me in ways I was only beginning to realise. “I know you don’t want me here, and that’s fair.” Swallowing hard, I forced myself to continue. “I don’t have any intention of hurting Winter, okay?” I flashed her a small smile before I decided to push Caiden, just a tiny bit. “I know you think you’re irresistible to all women, but that ship has sailed. You know that it was mostly our families pushing us together, right?”
He narrowed his eyes at me, his mouth flattening into a thin line, but all he did was respond with a sharp nod. Winter squeezed his leg gently before meeting my gaze.
“Well, I for one don’t hold a grudge. I’m not sure if we’ll ever be friends, but for what it’s worth, I’m sorry about everything that happened.” She gave me a genuine smile. Argh. Why did she have to be so nice? It made me feel even worse about the way I’d treated her.
“Thanks,” I murmured, not sure how else to respond.
Caiden got to his feet, pulling Winter up with him. “I need a beer.” They disappeared in the direction of the house, and I let out a shaky breath. I’d never felt intimidated by him before, by any of them, but I guess I was here at their home, and we didn’t have the buffer of being surrounded by other people like the other times I’d interacted with them. Caiden was throwing off some seriously hostile vibes, and none of them seemed happy that I was there. Again, understandable. Even Cassius…he hadn’t been hostile, but his usual flirty banter wasn’t there.
“Why did you invite me to hang out with you? Why are you being nice to me but acting weird? Why did you set up that group chat with me?” The questions suddenly came pouring out of me in a rush.
He let himself fall backwards onto the grass, flinging a hand over his eyes to shade them from the sun. “I don’t know?”
“Cass.”
A hugely exaggerated sigh came from him, making his chest rise and his muscles come into sharp definition under his T-shirt. Fuck, Cassius Drummond was completely mouth-watering. All dirty-blond hair, bright blue eyes that were always full of humour, an easy grin, and all those gorgeous defined muscles wrapped in skin golden from the sun, his arms decorated with swirling tattoos. And his cock…
I gasped, sitting bolt upright. After the incident at the docks, I’d lost all interest in…well, most things, actually, but sex especially. And now, here I was, admiring Cassius in a very non-platonic way, and thinking of his dick…
My heart beat faster, hope and excitement building inside me. If I could feel like this, maybe it meant I was finally beginning to move on. To be me again. Or whatever this new version of me was.
“Jessa?”
My gaze flew to his to see him staring at me curiously, and I felt my cheeks heat. There was no way I was about to explain what had just happened. “Please, explain,” I said, trying to get the conversation back on track.
He groaned. “I felt bad about what happened to you, okay? I saw what you were like that day I left you. That’s why I set up the chat, and that’s why I invited you to stay today.”
“What about the acting weird thing?”
“I’m not acting weird.”
“You are.” When he shook his head, confused, I tried to explain. “You’re not treating me like you used to. I don’t know, it’s just—wait, you feel bad about what happened? So you feel sorry for me or something, is that it?”
Huffing out a frustrated breath, he ran his hand down his face. “Y-no. I don’t bloody know.”
“Look, I don’t need sympathy. Please don’t treat me any differently. I want to get back to normal, and I want…” My words trailed off. What did I want from him? Nothing, really. He didn’t owe me anything. “Never mind. Just don’t go around feeling sorry for me.”
Rolling onto his side, he stared at me for a minute, tugging his bottom lip between his teeth. “Normal. Right,” he said eventually. There was another long silence, and then he reached out and ran two of his fingers through the lengths of my hair that were falling down the length of my upper arm. “Is this you getting back to normal?” He tugged lightly on my hair, then released it. A weird little shiver went through me, but I brushed it off.
“This was me meeting my brother for lunch and not wanting an interrogation about my appearance, so I made an effort,” I told him honestly. “He’s used to me looking a certain way, and I really didn’t feel like telling him about everything that had happened, especially now it’s all over.”
Or I’d thought it had been over. Dread crept through me again as I was reminded that the source of my nightmares was back in England.
“You’re looking very good, Jessa.” Cassius’ voice lowered, taking on a husky tone, and my eyes widened, all thoughts of Petr Ivanov disappearing in an instant. His fingers trailed down my arm, setting off a chain of goosebumps wherever he touched. “Your dress looks a bit uncomfortable. Why don’t you let me help you take it off?”
It took me a couple of seconds to realise what he’d said, and then I shoved at him, sending him onto his back. “You’re a dickhead sometimes.” An unwilling smile appeared on my face.
“You wanted normal, babe. Don’t blame me for giving you what you asked for.” He spoke through his laughter, and I shoved at him again, partly irritated but mostly relieved. I didn’t want to be treated like I was fragile.
Gripping my arms, he yanked me into him. “You’re gonna pay for pushing me. Twice.” Then he dug his fingers into my sides and began tickling me.
A scream tore from my throat. “Stop! Please! You’re torturing me!” I managed to get out, laughing breathlessly, trying to scramble away from his fingers. Instead of releasing me, he spun us so that I was lying on my back in the grass, and he had me pinned under him, still tickling me mercilessly through fits of laughter. “I’ll do anything!” I cried, not even able to attempt to throw him off me. The tickling had made me too weak. It was pure torture.
“Anything?” Finally stilling his fingers but keeping his grip on me, he raised his head to meet my gaze, his blue eyes sparkling with humour.
“Anything. Just stop this torture.”
His thumbs stroked over my sides, and then he dipped down, placing a lightning-quick, completely unexpected kiss to my lips. I froze for a second, but then with a shake of his head and his trademark grin, the moment passed. “How’s that for normal?” He climbed off me, taking a seat on the grass next to me again.
Taking a moment to catch my breath and compose myself, I cleared my throat, staring at the tree line in front of me that marked the boundary of the Four’s outside space. “I could do without the tickling. But…thanks, I suppose.”
“I aim to please.”
His smile died away at the approach of Zayde. Zayde didn’t look at me, focusing his attention on Cassius.
“He’s back.”
At Zayde’s words, my stomach churned, and I dragged my knees up, curling my body over them and resting my head on my arms. This was ridiculous. Why was I acting this way, when the likelihood of me actually running into Petr was miniscule? I could stay away from London. Maybe Austin would have something to say if I cancelled what we’d agreed would become semi-regular lunch dates, but he could always come to Alstone for a change if he could drag himself away from the city.
“Creed couldn’t get involved before since the Strelichevos had ties to the Volkovs, but now it seems like he might’ve gone rogue.”
Nothing Zayde was saying made any sense to me, except for the final part of his sentence.
It seems like he might’ve gone rogue.
All my senses were on high alert. Those premonitions that you sometimes get, that you really shouldn’t ignore? That’s what I was having, right then. A very strong premonition, a sense that I was in danger, even though it made no sense. Why would I be targeted, anyway? The docks incident had been a case of mistaken identity, and I’d just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.
A tiny whimper escaped me before I clamped my lips shut, but it was too late. Both Cassius’ and Zayde’s heads turned in my direction.
Cassius pursed his lips, looking back at Zayde. “We’ll talk about this more later.” Then he turned back to me. “Do you want to go home?”
I nodded, even though everything inside of me was screaming that I didn’t want to be left alone. But these people weren’t really my friends. They didn’t owe me anything. Cassius had gone above and beyond already, all things considered.
“Try not to worry,” he said as I opened my car door with a shaking hand. “We’ll find out what we can, but there’s no reason why he would come here. You’re safe. He has no reason to come after you.”
Those were almost the same words that I’d told myself earlier, but hearing them from Cassius didn’t make them any more believable.
* * *
When I was back in my flat, I locked the door and pulled the deadbolt across, closing all the curtains and blinds and flipping all the lights on. Turning the TV up to a slightly higher volume than normal, I collapsed onto my sofa with a glass of water, trying to lose myself in reality TV.
When a loud knock came at the door, I startled, knocking my glass of water over, the contents spreading across the floor. My heart pounding, I stayed completely still until the knock sounded again.
I forced my suddenly shaking legs to cooperate, creeping over to the door and looking through the peephole. Relief left me breathless as I saw the familiar figure of James Granville standing in the corridor. He lived in my apartment building and was also one of my fellow students.
Undoing the deadbolt and the lock, I opened the door a crack and attempted a smile. “James. How can I help you?”
He scrutinised me closely, concern in his gaze. “Are you okay?”
“Fine.”
There was silence for a moment, but then he eventually shrugged. “Okay.” He lifted his hand, passing me a small brown envelope. “Here. This has your name on it, but it got put into my mailbox by mistake.”
“Thanks.” I took it from him, and he gave me a brief smile.
“Anytime. I, uh…” He pointed back down the hallway in the direction of the stairs.
“Yeah. See you later, James.” Closing the door softly, I locked and bolted it again, then padded across to my sofa. I’d forgotten about the spilled water, and I groaned as the liquid soaked through my fluffy socks. Pulling them off, I curled up with my feet out of the danger zone, then turned my attention to the envelope. The front had Miss Dewitt written in a messy black biro scrawl, and I frowned as I turned it over, sliding my thumb into the gap to ease it open.
There was only one thing in the envelope.
A photo.
My eyes traced over the image. The coil of rope and a piece of rough brown material. And at the bottom? An all too familiar screwdriver-type object, the very tip of it dipping into a deep liquid stain the colour of blood.
It was a message.
Very, very slowly, I laid the photo down on the arm of the sofa and, just as slowly, picked up my phone. It took me three tries to unlock it, and then I navigated to the camera. Snapping a photo, I sent it to Cassius along with four words that as I wrote them sent icy shivers of fear through my bloodstream.
He’s here for me.