Trained By Daddy by Ava Sinclair
Chapter Nine
Lila
I’m sittingat my desk, the laptop opened in front of me. I feel like a silly schoolgirl, but I want to make sure I read Gabe’s email as soon as it arrives. My bottom still aches from the spanking and my pussy is delightfully sore from his vigorous thrusting.
I have the book open and am trying to read my secret story through Gabe’s eyes. He said he liked it. He said it turned him on. I went all out with my story, putting my character in situations I’ve never tried. All my life I’ve worried about living up to other women. Now I have to worry about living up to a character I’ve created, a character who gives perfect head and takes a thick cock up her ass with ease. My last boyfriend, in a moment of cruelty, told me my blowjobs were sloppy and boring. He complained that I wouldn’t do anal. I’m still a backdoor virgin.
I know Gabe would disapprove of my worrying. He’s done all he can to make me feel beautiful and secure. Why can’t I just accept it? I try, but the negativity still creeps in.
You’ll just disappoint him, my inner voice says. You’ll disappoint him like you disappointed all the others.
Stop it.I put my hands over my ears, reminding myself of Gabe’s rule. I’m not supposed to think negative thoughts about myself, but there’s no way someone used to being admired can know what it’s like for someone who’s used to being put down. I’ve dealt with it all my life. I was bullied in school. My parents weren’t particularly affectionate and favored my younger sister over me. Patty was a perky cheerleader with the metabolism of a shrew while I was a chubby nerd who could gain five pounds looking at the bakery display.
“You don’t try hard enough,” my father would say when comparing me to Patty. “Just look at your sister,” my mother would say when she thought I needed motivation. “She keeps herself fit. You can, too.”
I did get praised for good grades, but my superior academic skills were dwarfed by Patty’s popularity and cheering competition wins. My scholarships were “nice.” Her being crowned homecoming queen was “wonderful.” She had her pick of any boy she wanted. And while my shapely figure garnered attention, I wasn’t interested in the boys who would have been happy with Patty’s younger sister if they couldn’t get her. To make matters worth, normal teenage dating behaviors held no interest for me. From an early age, I didn’t want kisses. I wanted spankings. It made me feel like a freak, especially since there wasn’t anyone to talk to about it.
The deep need for validation combined with my submissive sexual desires set me up for a parade of bad boyfriends. I was too young and naïve to know the danger signs. I gravitated towards bossy men, looking for dominance. Rather than honor my submission, they doubled down on the negative messages of my childhood.
Gabe is the first man who insists I ignore those. If only I could.
I sit back in the chair and stare at the screen. “No,” I say. “He’s not expecting you to be just like the women you write. He’s not like that. He likes you for you.”
I listen to my own words, wanting to believe them. I want to believe that Gabe isn’t too good to be true.
At that moment, the email dings. It’s the one I’ve been waiting for.
Dear Lila,
You made me the happiest man in the world today. I can’t wait to train you tomorrow, both at the gym and privately. Bring an overnight bag with you to the gym. You’ll be staying at my house tomorrow night.
I’m counting the hours until I see you.
Yours,
Daddy
I smile, brought back to a feeling of complete happiness by the words on the screen. He’s for real. He’s genuine. He wants to take care of me.
You deserve this, I tell myself. The trick is to make myself believe it.
