The Silent Highlander by Donna Fletcher
Chapter 6
Elysia woke the next morning determined to tell Chieftain Emory that she had spoken in haste and that she changed her mind. She did not know what had made her speak Saber’s name. It had rushed out of her before she could stop it. She had gotten nowhere after an endless night of debating with herself as to why she had chosen Saber when he had refused her proposal. The only conclusion she had reached was that she was wrong in forcing Saber into marriage when it was something she wished to avoid herself.
She raked her light brown hair thoroughly with a comb and pinned it up with two combs that struggled to hold the heavy strands and as usual several fell loose not long after she was done. After a quick wash to her face and calming herself with a chamomile brew, since her roiling stomach begged no breakfast, she reached for her cloak.
Chieftain Emory had ordered her to say nothing to Saber that he would speak with him and that had been when she had realized her mistake. It got even worse when she saw the joy her choice had brought to Chieftain Emory. He had actually beamed with delight and said he would see it done. Bram, Tavish, and Rory had not been as pleased, scowls on all three of their faces.
She had hoped to speak to Saber before he learned of it from anyone else and tell him she would see it made right. But when she had gone to his cottage later in the day, he hadn’t been there. She had waited as long as she could but with dusk settling, she had hurried home. All evening she had waited for a fierce pounding to sound at her door and an angry Saber to burst in. But it never came.
She had to make this right and choose someone else. Saber did not want her as his wife.
Why then had he continued to kiss her?
She rubbed the spot between her eyes, an ache starting to form there.
And why had she foolishly returned his kisses?
She shook her head. She had to marry someone and fast and be done with this nightmare. Moray would be a good choice. He was kind and gentle.
But he was not Saber.
“Stop it, Elysia,” she scolded herself. “Saber may want to kiss you but he does not want to marry you. Do what you must.”
She threw her cloak around her and rushed out of the cottage. A light rain fell, keeping many inside and she made her way through the village without being stopped. She hurried into the Great Hall words ready to rush from her lips and correct the mistake she had made.
Elysia froze when she saw Saber standing next to Chieftain Emory in front of the dais.
“Elysia! Wonderful. I was just about to send for you,” Chieftain Emory said with overpowering exuberance.
She did not want to look Saber’s way but her eyes were drawn to him and anger fired in his green eyes, turning them a far bolder green than she had ever seen them. She hurried forward.
“Chieftain Emory, please forgive me but I spoke far too fast and foolishly yesterday. It is not Saber I wish to marry. I choose Moray. I will marry Moray.”
All joy fled his face and he shook his head and his hand at her. “Nay. Nay. You cannot change your mind. It is too late.”
“Nay, it is not,” Elysia insisted. “No vows have been exchanged.”
Chieftain Emory continued to shake his head. “It is done. You are wed to Saber.”
Elysia froze a short distance from the two men. “Vows exchanged. But I have spoken no vows.”
“I had it done by proxy. I worried you might change your mind. You are now Saber’s wife,” Chieftain Emory said. “Besides, I am not deaf to the talk amongst the clan. It is known that you two favor each other so be glad for that and make the most of it.”
Elysia didn’t know what to say and what point was there to say anything. Still, she owed it to Saber to try.
“It is not fair to Saber. He should have a say in who he chooses to wed,” Elysia said.
Chieftain Emory dismissed her claim with an abrupt wave. “He does not object.” He turned to Saber. “Isn’t that right?”
Elysia’s breath caught waiting for his response. Could it be so? Had he agreed of his own accord?
Saber nodded, but the anger in his green eyes told Elysia a far different tale. He had been coerced or worse commanded to wed her.
“Now go and be off with you and make many bairns,” Chieftain ordered.
His remark raised a soft blush to Elysia’s cheeks and a deep scowl to Saber’s brow as hasty steps had him leaving the chieftain’s side and walking right past her.
“Go! Go with your husband and see to your wifely duties,” the chieftain ordered, shooing her away.
Elysia bobbed her head and turned away, glad Chieftain Emory took no offense to Saber leaving without properly acknowledging him. She didn’t hasten her steps. She was not looking forward to speaking with her husband.
Good Lord, she had a husband.
This was not how she wanted a marriage to Saber. Why hadn’t she held her foolish tongue?
She halted when she saw that he had stopped and waited for her a few feet from the bottom of the keep’s steps. When she reached his side, he started walking without a word to her. she followed along, glad for the silence. It gave her time to form an apology and see if there was anything she could do to right her dreadful mistake.
Smiles and well-wishers greeted them as they made their way through the village. She acknowledged all with a smile and a nod. Saber acknowledged no one.
Elysia followed along with him to her cottage, thoughts swirling in her head. She didn’t want to leave her cottage. It was her home and her sisters’ home. Annis needed a place to return to and if she left it someone else would claim the cottage. She would not see that happen.
Saber entered her cottage before her and pointed to her garments hanging on the peg and various items. It was plain to see he was telling her to pack. He intended for them to live at his croft. At one time she would have been pleased with that—now she wasn’t sure.
His eyes flared with annoyance and he held his arm as if he cradled a bairn, pointed to her and said, “No.”
She stared at him in disbelief. “Are you telling me you don’t want any children?”
He nodded firmly and pointed to several crocks.
“You want me to take something to prevent me from conceiving?” she asked shocked beyond words.
“Aye,” he said with a nod.
“You want me to take it now?” she asked perplexed.
He nodded again.
He intended to couple with her, but he refused to have a bairn with her. The thought confused and troubled her.
He pointed to the crocks again.
Her chin went up along with her stubbornness. “No!”
He drew his head back shocked by her response.
“You refuse to have bairns with me which tells me you do not want this marriage. I cannot express enough how sorry I am for having forced this marriage upon you. I release you of all responsibility to me. Go and live as you choose and I will do the same.” She held her chin high, while her heart broke.
He groaned deep and turned away from her and she thought he would take his leave, since he walked to the door, but he didn’t. He turned around to face her, the tight set of his jaw telling her that he fought with a response.
Elysia felt the need to explain, offer some explanation for her foolish mistake. “I don’t know what made me say your name when Chieftain Emory gave me a choice in a husband. It was rude of me to speak your name when you had already refused a proposal of marriage from me. The only excuse I can offer—and a poor one at that—is that I feel comfortable and safe with you.” She shook her head. “I am not being completely truthful. I do favor you. I enjoy talking with you, though it is I who does the talking and you who patiently listens and—” She hesitated, not sure if she should admit what she felt and decided to continue to be truthful. “I do enjoy when you kiss me, though I have no experience with a kiss, you being my first.” She thought she heard him groan. “There is also a comfort with you I have never found with a man. Most men frighten me—not you. Still, though, that is no excuse for what I did and for that I apologize.”
Saber paced in front of the door, a low growl-like sound emanating from him.
“I meant what I said. I will not hold you to our vows. You are free to leave and live as you choose.”
Saber turned and glared at her, looked about to approach her, then turned and walked out the door.
She dropped down on the edge of the bed, shaking her head and fighting tears. What was wrong with her? Saber cared nothing for her. Why should she care for him? And how did she stop herself from caring for him?
“Oh, God, Bliss, I wish you were here. I need your wise words, your loving arms, and your healing heart. I do not know what to do and I do not understand why I hurt so much.”
She buried her face in her hands, not knowing what to do and feeling more alone and helpless than ever.
The door creaked open and her head shot up, shocked to see Saber enter. She thought to remain silent, but words slipped out, “I truly am sorry.”
He tipped his head back and released a low rumbling groan before he walked over to her. His hand went to her waist, yanking her to her feet, then his hands settled at her face, cupping it firmly.
He held her eyes with his, anger faint in them, replaced with a gentleness she had often seen when he looked upon her. He appeared hesitant to speak or it was that he struggled to speak, she couldn’t be certain.
“I fa—” He scrunched his eyes shut a moment, then rushed words out in one breath. “I favor you.”
Elysia’s eyes spread wide, her heart leapt with joy, though it was a short burst of delight and she voiced her concern. “I don’t understand. If you favor me, why do you not want me as your wife?”
Saber’s hands fell away from her face and he stepped away from her, shaking his head. He tapped at the center of his chest with a fisted hand. His voice was gravelly when he forced himself to speak. “Not good fo—” A cough interrupted him and he pointed to Elysia.
“You think you are not good for me?” she asked and went to him, her small hand rushing to cover his mouth. “You will speak no more today. You worsen your throat by forcing yourself to speak and that will only damage it more.”
He nodded and placed his hand over hers, devouring it, selfishly wanting it to remain there like a lasting kiss.
Elysia sought to confirm what she believed was his response. “So you believe you are not good for me, and you will speak no more today as I have asked of you.”
He nodded and reluctantly freed her hand.
“I do not know what makes you think you are not good for me. I find you a gentle soul—”
Saber shook his head fiercely.
“You may not believe so, but I believe so and isn’t that what matters now? Whatever your past holds that you feel deems you unworthy has nothing to do with now. We start fresh like every new day.”
His eyes told her that he battled with her words, battled not to respond—and lost. “I wish.”
She placed one finger to his lips. “Your wish is granted, but you must let your voice rest, for my wish is for your throat to heal so that your voice is returned to you. Will you grant my wish, husband?”
How was it that this wee woman could tear at his heart, make him feel hopeful, and make him feel—loved? Could that be what was tearing at his heart—love? She might favor him enough to love him, but in the end love would not survive the hate she would have for him when she discovered the truth.
He nodded and cupped his hand over hers and rested her palm to his lips and kissed it gently. The smile that hurried to her lovely face and the slight shudder he felt trickle through her aroused him far too fast. He released her hand and stepped away, pointing to the various crocks as he had done before.
Perplexed, Elysia asked, “Still, you do not want us to have any bairns?” The unease that gripped her stomach settled when he shook his head. She warned him when he went to explain. “You will fail to grant my wish if you speak and worsen your throat.”
He frowned, then raised his hand and extended it as if in a slow wave, repeatedly doing so.
She scrunched her brow, trying to understand when suddenly it hit her. “Oh, you want to wait some to have bairns.”
He nodded vigorously and pointed to the crocks again.
“Aye, there is something my sister gave to women so they would not get with child. I can take it, but it will take—a day or so I believe—before it is useful.”
He nodded.
She turned her head to the hearth for a moment, before turning back to look at him to ask with some hesitation. “So you do favor me?”
He nodded without hesitation and stepped closer, his arm closing around her waist to slowly ease her against him. His hand went to the stray strand of hair that hung down near her left eye and he brushed it aside, tucking it gently behind her ear. His arm clamped snug around her waist and he lifted her with ease, as if she weighed a pittance, and brought her face to rest in front of his.
She saw his intention in his eyes and she didn’t wait. She wrapped her arms around his neck and brought her lips to his before he could capture hers.
He enjoyed even more this kiss they shared, not only because they shared it as husband and wife, but because he knew her lips had touched no other man’s lips but his. While he couldn’t say his lips had never touched another woman’s lips, he could say that none had touched his heart the way Elysia’s kiss did. The other kisses were empty, soulless kisses that meant nothing. When he and Elysia kissed, he felt it deep in his heart and down to his soul. Her kiss branded him forever.
He rested his brow to hers when the kiss ended.
“I love kissing you,” she whispered a bit breathless.
He nodded so that she knew he felt the same and his heart ached when he saw the disappointment in her eyes as he lowered her to her feet. It wasn’t what he wanted to do. He wanted to continue kissing her, but his hands itching to touch her and his rising manhood warned against it. He would take no chance of getting her with child. It would not be fair to her or the child. And he could not trust himself, once inside her, to withdraw before his seed spilled out. He would wait and keep her safe.
Saber pointed to her garments.
“I know that as your wife I am to go and live with you at your home, but I fear Annis will have no home to return to if I leave this cottage. Chieftain Emory will give it to someone else,” Elysia said, letting him know of her concern.
Saber shook his head, stood a moment looking around, then pointed to the crocks, the drying herbs gathered in bunches, the mortar and pestle on the small bench near the hearth, then pointed to the door and shook his head.
“Are you saying I am no longer the healer for the clan, that someone will replace me?” she asked, not that she would mind, since by no means did she think herself a capable healer. But Bliss might need her and how would she help her if she did not have use of her healing herbs and plants?
Saber shook his head. He pointed to her garments and at the door, then pointed to her healing herbs and tapped the table, then he repeatedly pointed to the door and tapped the table, hoping she would understand, since his throat was already sore from the few words he had forced himself to speak.
Elysia was ready to shake her head in frustration when it dawned on her. “I am to keep the cottage as my place to heal those in need, but I will make my home with you at your croft.”
Saber nodded, relieved she understood.
“A perfect solution,” she said, her concern that Annis would not have a home to return to and that she would not have use of whatever she needed if Bliss should require her help no longer a worry.
She got busy gathering what she would take with her. She made sure to take what she needed for Saber’s throat, but decided to leave the garments that required mending at the cottage. It would fill her time when no healing was needed and if need be she would take some to the croft.
Saber slipped the bundle on his arm that Elysia handed him and opened the door and went to step aside for his wife to precede him when he saw a young man rushing his way. Instinct had him stepping in front of her, causing the young man to stop abruptly a few feet away.
“Please, my wife needs Elysia, the bairn comes,” the young man pleaded.
Elysia tried to get around her husband, not an easy task, since his body all but filled the doorway. She eased under his arm, giving him a poke in the side, and he raised his arm and moved aside so she could pass.
“Is Brit alone, Kevin, or have some women come to help her?” Elysia asked.
“She asked for no one but you. She says you know best that you have helped Bliss birth many bairns,” Kevin said, worry turning his eyes wide. “You can help her, right?”
“I can,” Elysia said with more confidence than she felt. “Go fetch Lendra, Kevin, so I may have extra hands to help me. I will be with Brit when you get there.”
Kevin bobbed his head and ran off.
“I don’t know how long I’ll be,” she said, turning to her husband.
He nodded and pointed to the bundle he held, then in the distance.
His gesture was easy to understand. “You will take my things to your place.”
He tapped her chest, tapped his chest, and hooked two fingers.
“Our place,” she corrected and he nodded, leaned down and brushed his cheek against hers before he kissed her gently. Her instinct was to melt against him, feel his arms wrap around her, and get lost in his embrace. But she stopped herself.
She stepped away from him. “I must gather what I need and go to Brit.”
Saber took hold of her arm and stepped in the cottage with her, turning questioning eyes on her. He could tell something was wrong. He saw it in the way she scrunched her brow and how her hands grabbed and scrunched the sides of her garment.
When she turned her head away, his hand quickly went to her chin and gently turned it so their eyes met. He didn’t say anything, he simply stared at her.
Elysia held his concerned gaze until she no longer could. “I have helped Bliss deliver many bairns, but never have I delivered a bairn on my own. No one will listen when I tell them I am no healer and while I enjoyed helping Bliss when necessary I had no thoughts of my own to be a healer. I fear what will happen when I cannot help someone.”
Saber wished he had his voice so he could encourage her. She was wise in the ways of healing, perhaps not as much as her sister Bliss, but still enough to help those in need. Though, he understood healing was not something she wished to do, sometimes the choice wasn’t left to you. And that was something he knew well.
“I must go. A bairn waits for no one,” she said.
Saber did the only thing he knew that might offer some comfort. He kissed her and he was glad to see that his kiss returned her smile.
“I will see you later,” she said.
He managed gestures that let her know he would walk her to where she had to go.
“It is not necessary,” she said and discovered how stubborn her husband could be when in the end he walked her to the cottage and took his leave once he saw her inside.
* * *
“You did good.Bliss would be proud of you,” Lendra said, smiling when she turned and looked at Brit cradling her daughter in her arms and Kevin touching the bairn’s little fingers from where he sat beside the bed amazed by the tiny lass.
“It was an easy birth, at least as births go,” Elysia said.
Lendra nodded. “True enough, though I doubt Brit would agree after the hours she spent in pain.”
“But the little lass slipped out easily with little effort from her mum.”
“Again true, but still, you did well through it all,” Lendra encouraged and grinned. “I wouldn’t be surprised if nine months from now you’ll be delivering a bairn of your own.”
Elysia’s cheeks flushed.
Lendra rested her hand over Elysia’s. “There is nothing to worry about, Elysia. The way Saber looks at you, he will be gentle, and don’t listen to those who claim wifely duties a chore. It can be enjoyable.” Lendra lowered her voice to a whisper. “You don’t have to make a bairn right off.”
Elysia took advantage of the moment. “Aye, Bliss had told me about that, but I forgot how long she told me a woman must wait after taking the brew before it stops a bairn from taking hold.”
“At least a day and two tankards full if you want to make certain, and you must take the brew faithfully every day.”
“Thank you, Lendra,” Elysia said, relieved to know.
“I have to get back to the keep.” Lendra gave Elysia’s hand a squeeze. “Bliss truly would have been proud of you.”
Her words touched Elysia’s heart and had her near to tears. She missed Bliss and Annis and wondered about them. Were they both safe? Did either suffer? Would she ever see them again?
She blinked away the tears that had pooled in her eyes and wiped at them with her sleeve before she turned to face Brit and Kevin.
“She is a beautiful lass and will do well. I will be at the cottage during the day and at Saber’s croft, in the evening if you should need me. You did well, Brit, and I see no problem for you and the little lass.”
“It did go well,” Brit agreed. “And I thank you for your help. Much happiness to you and Saber. All hoped you two would get together and are pleased to see that you did.”
Elysia nodded and left, not sure what to think. Had it been that obvious to all about how Saber felt about her or how she felt about him?
She breathed deep of the chilled air and took only a few steps when a voice stopped her.
“You need to be careful.”
Fear kicked her heart into a rapid beat as her eyes scanned the area. She was relieved to see Rory step out from behind a tree, though his wobbling steps alerted her to his drunkenness.
“You are a good woman, Elysia, kind and generous. You must be careful, all is not what it seems,” Rory said.
“What do you mean?” she asked, his remark striking a tinge of fear in her.
“People aren’t always who we think they are,” he said.
“Are you referring to my husband, Rory?”
“You know little about him or if you can trust him. You can trust me. I am a friend,” he said, his steps faltering as he turned to walk away.
Her heart went out to him, almost feeling his loneliness. “Rory.”
He turned, swaying as he did.
“This woman you loved and lost, I will help you if there is a chance for you to find her?”
He shook his head almost toppling over as he did and righting himself only to wobble more. “I wish. Oh, how I wish. But there is no chance… she is dead.”
“Oh, Rory, I am so sorry,” she said, feeling the depths of his sorrow now more than ever since knowing Saber. Her heart had felt like it had broken when he had refused her marriage proposal. She could only imagine the intense pain of losing him completely now that they admitted they favored each other.
“Few if any can share someone’s hurt, truly feel for them. You are one of those rare people that truly care. My Shona was like that, caring and kind.”
Elysia had to ask and hoped by doing so it would help him release some of his pain. “What happened to her?”
“I wasn’t there when she needed me,” Rory said, tears rolling down his cheeks. “Her father sold her to another man to enrich himself. She lasted but three days and died suddenly in her husband’s arms.”
Tears poked at Elysia’s eyes. “How awful for you.”
“Pray for Bliss, Elysia,” Rory warned. “Shona died in the cursed lord’s arms… Rannick. She was his third wife.”
