Kaius the Fierce by Cara Wylde

Chapter Eleven

That night, Kaius didn’t come. Grace slept alone on their pelts. She did more tossing and turning than sleeping. Hot flashes, then cold chills wrecked her body, and she constantly threw the covers off of her, cursing the enchanted stones, only to pull them back over her head within minutes. She cried for a bit, hoping it would exhaust her so she could get some rest. If she didn’t get any rest, she wouldn’t be able to think clearly in the morning.

Where could he be? Had he gone to sleep in another gallery? Had he, perhaps, gone down to the valley to work until dawn, or sleep in one of the abandoned houses? He couldn’t be with another woman, that was for sure. But as the thought entered her mind, Grace couldn’t fight it. It took hold of her, and she asked herself: what would stop Kaius from returning her to the institute and taking another bride? She’d fucked up again. As she always did when she tried to give her daughter a better life. She’d never had any luck with men, so why had she believed that it would be different this time?

She fell asleep before sunrise, though she couldn’t tell in the darkness of the cave. She woke up an hour later, when someone dropped something down the corridor. It didn’t happen often, as the orcs liked to jump right out of their pelts and run outside at the first crack of dawn, but Birma’s voice echoing down the tunnels told Grace she wasn’t in a good mood. Something must’ve happened for Birma the Unseen to be thrown off so badly that she started dropping things and waking the whole place up.

Grace rose to her feet and started pacing the gallery. She combed her fingers through her red, tangled hair, and rubbed her eyes and her temples. She’d hoped Kaius would come to her by now, but as the minutes passed, she was becoming more and more convinced that he felt too betrayed to forgive her so easily. Maybe he was never going to forgive her. He’d had tears in his eyes the night before. She’d broken his heart with her confession that had come too late.

“He hates me,” she whispered to the flickering candles along the walls and atop the shelves, their flames seemingly eternal. “And why wouldn’t he? I lied to him.”

This had been a mistake. If she thought about it, Grace wasn’t surprised that she’d messed up so badly. It was what she did best. Maybe it was time for her to look reality in the face – she’d tried, she’d failed, she had to go back to her daughter. She missed Sasha dearly, and even though she knew her little girl was safe with her aunt, she also knew that Sasha didn’t particularly like it there. She understood. When she was a teenager, Grace hadn’t liked it there, either. Her aunt had taken her in after her parents died. Back then, her uncle was still alive, the cancer not having yet been discovered. Their house was old and creaky, and it smelled of dust, unwashed carpets, and burned food. Her aunt had never been a great cook, and Grace either spent the little money she was given on fast food or went to bed hungry. When she’d turned eighteen, her uncle was already in hospital most of the time, and her aunt was making it clearer and clearer that she needed to do something with her life. Grace didn’t finish school, but instead of finding a job, she went out and found an unsavory group of youths who were all against the system and all for the easy escape of drugs and cheap alcohol.

Those were dark times for Grace. She was lost for years. Her uncle died, and her aunt was too wrapped up in her own grief to care. When she started seeing Grace again, for who she was, for what she was becoming, it was too late. She couldn’t help her anymore. Grace moved out, got odd jobs that she couldn’t keep, was late on rent every month, and when she couldn’t make rent, came back to her aunt’s house with her tail between her legs, and got clean for a few months before the cycle started all over again. Those were truly dark times. Until Grace turned twenty and found out that she was pregnant. Sasha had been her light. Still was. For her, Grace got completely clean, managed to hold on to jobs for longer than usual, and fortunately, her aunt loved the child. She wasn’t willing to help Grace anymore, since Grace had eaten through all her savings for nothing, but she was more than happy to take Sasha in when Grace couldn’t make ends meet.

Her aunt had taken her in now, too. Grace hadn’t told her daughter where she was going, only that she was going away for a while to find a better place for them. A better place for her, for Sasha, – a place where she could enjoy nature, play from early morning till late at night, and never worry about a thing. She’d kissed her little girl a hundred times before she left and made her a hundred promises. She’d felt like shit. But she’d told her aunt about her intentions, and the middle-aged woman had simply sighed and wished her luck. She hadn’t tried to dissuade her, which, in Grace’s book, could mean either of two things: her aunt thought she was completely insane but knew she had no chance of talking her out of it, or she actually believed her idea to become an orc tribute was worth trying. Her aunt had stopped giving Grace advice a long time ago. The only thing she’d said to her as she walked her down the front steps of her old, creaky house was, “Don’t break Sasha’s heart. That’s all I ask.” And Grace had no intention of breaking her daughter’s heart.

She’d been away from her for too long. She’d spent more weeks than she’d expected at the institute, and then even more time working up the courage to tell Kaius the truth. Now she was alone in the gallery they shared, and it was clear to her that the orc didn’t want to see her. So, she stopped her pacing and did something that was actually practical and useful – she started packing.

The few belongings she’d brought with her fit in her suitcase and her bag just as well as they had nearly two months before, when she’d left her aunt’s house. She threw one last look around her, at the shelves with their few books, the pelts spread onto the floor, and the curtain beyond which the underground lake beckoned to her with sweet memories of Kaius and her bathing together, his fingers combing through her hair, his lips covering her face with heated kisses. She shook her head and hurried out, the wheels of the suitcase clattering loudly on the uneven stone.

She emerged in the glade. The sun wasn’t quite up yet, its rays filtering shyly through the branches. She kept her head down and walked straight towards the place where she knew the orcs kept their big, unshapely cars. She wasn’t sure how she was going to reach civilization, since she had no idea how to drive one of those things, and even if she had, it wasn’t like she was going to steal one. She was going to walk down to the valley, then out of it, and there had to be a populated town somewhere nearby. She switched her smartphone on just in case she’d find signal at some point.

“Grace!” Beka ran after her, alarmed. “What’s happening? Where are you going?” She eyed her suitcase, her green face paling just a bit. “You’re leaving?”

Grace took a deep breath in, then released it slowly. It was all she could do to fight the tears. She wanted to sound confident, and not like someone who was retreating with her tail between her legs... again.

“Yes.”

Beka’s eyes widened. “Why? This is your home. Where is Kaius?”

“I don’t know. He vanished last night.”

“Vanished?” The female orc chuckled awkwardly. “I doubt that. Vanishing is not a thing that... he does.”

Grace sighed. “Look, Beka... Thank you for everything. I loved it here, but I have to go now. Your captain doesn’t want me. I’m not who he thought I was, and I’m sorry. I can’t change who I am, I can’t change my past, nor my present. It’s better for me to just get out of his way, so he can find a proper bride. A bride with no baggage, no other responsibilities... a woman who can just be his and his alone.”

“I don’t understand a word you’re saying... If you and the captain had an argument, I’m sure you can talk through it. Communication. My species is not great at that, I’ll admit, but since we came to your world, we’ve learned. Humans are all about communication.” She threw a worried glance around. “Where is he, anyway?”

Grace shook her head. “It’s better if he’s not here. I got his message last night, loud and clear. It’s easier this way.”

“Grace, if you could just...” Now Beka was actively looking for Kaius. She motioned to the orcs watching the scene to go fetch the captain if they knew where he was.

Grace knew she had to go now, otherwise she might not have another chance for a clean break. She whispered a “sorry” and turned around, sharply pulling her suitcase behind her. She only managed a few steps before Kaius blocked her path.

“No,” he said, his voice low and firm.

Grace blinked in confusion. She looked up at him and was met with a stern gaze.

“What do you mean no?”

“No, you’re not leaving. I won’t let you.”

She tensed. “You don’t owe me anything. You don’t want me here, so I’ll go. I’ve disappointed you, and I know I can’t take any of it back. I have a daughter, Kaius, and I must go to her now.”

“You didn’t disappoint me...”

He said the words so softly that she almost didn’t hear him. In fact, she was pretty sure she’d heard him wrong, heard what she wanted to hear, not what he’d actually said.

“I’m sorry.” She made to walk past him.

He grabbed her arm to stop her. He squeezed her too tightly for a second, then loosened his grip, not wanting to hurt her.

“Grace, you didn’t disappoint me. If you truly want to go, then I’ll let you go. But not before you give me the chance to...”

“To what?”

“Explain.”

“Explain what?”

He sighed. “My behavior... last night...”

She shook her head. “It was clear from where I was standing. Or lying... alone, in bed, waiting for you... You never came.”

“I needed space. I needed to think.”

“Then maybe this is for the best. I made a mistake, Kaius. I should’ve never offered myself as a tribute, should’ve never come here.”

“Don’t say that.” He looked at her pleadingly. “Unless you mean it. Do you mean it?”

She sighed. She dropped the suitcase and turned slightly towards him. He didn’t let go of her arm, and she didn’t particularly want him to. The feel of his skin on her skin awakened something inside her every time they touched. Today was no different, even if it was all going in the wrong direction.

“I don’t know, Kaius. I... I love it here. I love the horde, and I...” She hesitated, biting at the inside of her cheek and studying his features, trying to determine if she should say the next words or not. “I love you.” He opened his mouth to say something, and she stopped him with a gesture. “Please let me finish. I’m a mess. I’ve always been a mess, always made mistakes, always hurt the ones closest to me. I’ve been away from my daughter for two months, and I can’t take it anymore. I hoped you’d accept her like you accepted me, welcomed her like you welcomed me...” Now everyone was staring at them, eyes wide, mouths slightly agape. They’d caught on to the fact that Grace had a daughter. “But I understand. You don’t owe me anything. I’m fully responsible, and it’s okay. I’ll fix it. I’ll get out of your life and go back to my daughter, build a life for both of us some different way. Thank you, though... Thank you for everything.”

She tried to pull her arm free, but Kaius only tightened his grip, this time not caring that he might leave a bruise.

“Grace, that’s not what happened last night. It’s not why I left.”

“Why did you leave, then?”

“I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone or anything. And your daughter... this is her home, too. You should’ve told me earlier, we could’ve brought her on the first day... Grace, I couldn’t look you in the eye last night because... Your story...” It was hard for him to go on, especially with the entire horde watching and listening. He forced himself to say the bare minimum to convince her to give him a chance to explain the rest in a more private place. “I have a son, too.”